June 3rd, 2006
It seems like I can never do anything right. Anything I do is met with either scorn or ridicule, or disdain, or the statement that it's completely wrong. I'm suffocating in my own house. I'm only wanted when there are chores to be done and kids to take care of (my mom does home daycare), otherwise they usually can't be bothered to care. When they do show signs of caring, it's to treat me as if I'm a 12 year old. I'm expected to be happy all the time, yelled at when I'm not. Yelled at when I "hide" in my room, ignored or treated as a child when I do spend time with the family.
Anybody got quotes that cn match any of those situations?
If you need to talk to someone, comment at my journal and I'll give you some contact info. :) Hang in there, love.
We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.
Sometimes I think the theologians have got it backwards. The big problem is not How to explain the existence of evil in this world. It's how to explain the existence of good.
[Anne Rice, "Blood Canticle"]
Marianne, only half-dressed, was kneeling against one of the window seats, for the sake of all the little light she could command from it, and writing as fast as the continual flow of tears would permit her.
[Jane Austen, "Sense and Sensibility"]
This world is gradually becoming a place where I do not care to be any more.
Who the hell wants to be a healthy, organic whole when you can be a brilliant, injured, human fragment?
[Julie Burchill, "Sex and Sensibility"]
Stranded, lost inside myself -- my own worst friend and my own closest enemy.
[Green Day, "Armatage"]
Every decision you make is a mistake.
And sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on and your friends -- they sing along and they love you. But the lows are so extreme, that the good seems fucking cheap and it teases you for weeks in its absence.
[Rilo Kiley, "A Better Son/Daughter"]
O wretched state! O bosom black as death! O limed soul, that, struggling to be free, art more engaged!
[William Shakespeare, "Hamlet"]
It's hard to answer the question "What's wrong" when nothing's right.
I am good, But not an angel. I do sin, But I am not the Devil. I am pretty, But not beautiful. I have friends, but I am not the Peacemaker. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.
There is no right way or wrong way, you just have to live, and so I do what I do, and at least I exist.
[Bright Eyes, "Hit The Switch"]
It doesn't matter what mistakes were made in the painting; it doesn't matter how late we stayed awake thinking that we could have done it better. It's done and it's ours: all of the splotches and lines, the cracks in the paint from our very first experiments in living. And we still don't know what it means.
[Lyssarian Joy, "Possibly Unfinished"]
I felt so bad and I didn't know why and it didn't get better as time went by.
[Danny Elfman, "Can't See"]
I've got tooth marks on my heart.
Waking up is hard to do when no one loves you.
[MxPx, "Buildings Tumble"]
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
Wanting to make someone proud of you is admirable, but feeling you constantly have to prove yourself is tragic.
"I'm not a perfect girl, my hair doesn't always stay in place. I spill a lot of things. I'm pretty clumsy and sometimes I have a broken heart. My friends and I sometimes fight, and maybe some days, nothing goes right. But when I think about it and take a step back.. I remember how amazing life truly is and that maybe, just maybe, I like being imperfect. "
I dunno if it really applies to your situation, but I like this quote for my life in general, because so many people want you to be something that you really just can't be, but there is nothing wrong with that, you are you, perfect or not.