Lightning Strikes But Once

Christmas Day broadcast

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The quick fanfare announcing a feature piece lilted over the WWN airwaves, followed by the familiar voice of Horace Knickerbocker.

"Ciaran McIrney remembers his first Cribbage's Wizarding Cracker well."

A high-pitched male voice came over the network.

"I was two years old, and my older sisters were squabbling over the last cracker. I somehow got hold of one end when Marcia let go and sort of fell on it as it opened — my face was blue from the smoke for a month after. Mum was angry at the time, but brings the piccies out now whenever I have a bird over. Still have the Screaming Yo-yo I got from it, though."

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Midsummer's Festival
Saturday, June 24th ~ Early Evening

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"This is Anastasia Witherpool, live in downtown Hogsmeade where the Midsummer's Festival is well under way. People are crowding the streets, vendors are out offering their - "

A slight scuffle is heard over the air, ending in Anastasia muffling a curse and muttering about her foot.

"Rita Skeeter here. Voting for this year's Litha Queen is still open and remember, every vote counts some more than others so be sure to come out and vote for your favorite candidate. Someone you know and trust, someone you would welcome into your homes every evening during her segment on the nightly news. Someone, for instance, like me?"

-back that microphone, woman, before I -

"Ezekiel Brunderbluss, back at the WWN studio once more. We seem to be experiencing some technical difficulties with our live broadcast.

"Please remember WWN is always interested in the comments and concerns of our listeners. Feel free to, contact us by owl or floo. We appreciate the interest shown and will respond as soon as possible. The Wizarding Wireless Network will return you to Rita Skeeter and Anastasia Witherpool live at the Midsummer's Festival in Hogsmeade after these messages from our sponsors."

Open House At The Phoenix
Sunday, April 2nd ~ Early Afternoon

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"Good Afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Ezekiel Brunderbluss here with you for a brief moment. Rita Skeeter will be bringing the festivities of the open house at The Phoenix into your homes this afternoon. I only wish I was there myself to see exactly what we can expect from this innovative idea.

"Please remember WWN is always interested in the comments and concerns of our listeners. If you have one, please contact us by owl or floo. We appreciate the interest shown and will respond as soon as possible. The Wizarding Wireless Network now takes you to the open house at The Phoenix."

St Patrick's Day
Friday, March 17th ~ Evening

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"...and to end our little salute to St Patrick, we bring you some little known facts about a drink I'm sure the majority of you will have consumed before the evening is over."

A slight rustle of paper is heard and a throat is cleared lightly.

"About 4000 years ago, it was the accepted practice in Babylonia that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calender was lunar based, this period was called the 'honey month' or what we know today as the 'Honeymoon'.

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"I Don't Give A Damn What Your Job Description Is, Witherpool. This. Is. My. Story!"
Wednesday, March 8th ~ Mid Afternoon

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Rita looked up and down the busy street, moved over to a pleasant looking women and snatched the microphone out of her hands. "Damn it, Anastasia! This is my story! I spent the night under that table with their smelly feet - although the view wasn't bad - I deserve this! Shoo!"

Bumping the shocked woman aside, Rita smiled at the crowd and turned on the mic. "Good afternoon to all our listeners! Rita Skeeter here with a special live fuck, I hope very lively broadcast from Hogsmeade! As you may all recall, last night The Three Broomsticks held a poker tournament exclusive to men. Like I was about to stay away from that! Well ladies, it seems they have decided to make it up to us!"

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