Saturday, February 4th ~ Evening
".... and that was interesting wasn't it? I'll be sure and keep you up to date on the developments as
"With the holidays over, many people are finding themselves in a slump. What better time to have a party, just for the sake of seeing friends and relatives. If you'd care to have a special guest that could give
"I was fortunate enough to slip into such a party earlier this evening. It was termed a house warming party and in my opinion, parts of it were so scorching it should have burned the building down. The night started
"Er - Rita? You did actually get invited to this event right?"
"Do I ask you where you get your stories from, Zeke? No? Then shut it."
"It was quite the pleasant surprise when early in the evening, a former Ex-Death Eater and You-Know-Who suspected supporter, turned War Hero showed up in attendance.
"Have to stay. Can not flee in terror. Must control gag reflex."
"Shut it I said!"
"How well did you blow the station manager to convince him to let you on the air - oh gods! Don't do that to the microphone - I'm getting my own!"
"It's amazing how much you can learn about the people entrusted with our children's education when you catch them away from the hallowed halls of Hogwarts. I was shocked and
"You may as well have, you've said everything but!"
"Well that still leaves four candidates! So unless you want me to name their classes back off!"
"Even more stunning however was the arrival of a recent addition to the Hogwarts staff,
"He seemed to settle in comfortably into drinks and talk of sports with a new Healer in town
"Rita Skeeter, humanist extraordinaire. *Snort* Do people actually buy this crap?"
A small thwack! was followed by muffled cursing and a hissing voice, "I've built quite the career on 'this crap' as you term it. Would you just let me do my job?"
"Only because I have to. Someone has to stand by in case you get out of hand."
"At least two of the
"I'm sure you would. Good Gods woman, Slughorn? Have you no - shame doesn't seem strong enough does it?"
"I got an O, want me to show you how?"
"Where is that rubbish bin?"
"Reinforcements were called in, with a shocking suggestion of murder! Thankfully
"Zeke? Ever been led around on all fours while on a leash?"
"Get the hell away from me."
"She then moved on to warning the hostess' youngest older brother
"No snide comments?"
"I'm still trying to figure out what you were on - what the hell were you just talking about?"
"You should have been there trying to follow it. Complete nut job."
"By this time I witnessed an act that made me certain I really must get myself to Hogwarts.
"Ohhh, nice stress on health there Rita. No one will ever be able to riddle that one out."
"Your sarcasm is not needed."
"I beg to differ. Amusing myself through your drivel keeps me sane - don't say it."
"The men in the mean time had manged to enlist a referee for their Quidditch game, and briefly discussed the minds of women. Short of importing them, it seemed groveling was brought up as the only solution.
"...be a dear and clear the cobwebs - Ouch! Damn it Rita! That hurt!"
"The female half of our pair of naughty Professors, is apparently not only looking for her own
"I have no words."
"Good, it'll make a nice change."
"Another couple seemed to be barely holding themselves in check. Our hostess' eldest brother
"Rita! Damn it! They're one of our advertisers, think you could cool it with the incest references?"
"Taking a break from the
"Rita! You can't say that! Are you trying to cause a panic?!?!"
"Trust me, darling, the ratings would shoot through the roof. Isn't it better than the incest?"
"I'd like to put something through the roof about now. What did I do to be saddled with you? Who? Who did I piss on? Merlin? Why are you doing this to me?"
"Or famous recluse seemed a bit worse for wear after matching drinks with the transplanted celebrity,
"Note to self - bring own chair as well."
"The gentlemen had some rather - intriguing comments on the location of the male anatomy, as well as a few questions about other species mating habits. One of the questions they must have wished they had left unasked led to an offer of buying a third man lingerie!
"Who - no. No. Don't tell me, I really don't want to know."
Rita's hissed in a gleeful tone, "Lupin and Potter! Ha!"
"Damn you, woman! I take that back - you're no woman. You're some sort of harpy sent here to torture me. No I don't want to check!"
"With them off, I went in search of
"She's disturbing? Quit hitting me!"
"Using one of the oldest tricks in the book, another shy young flower made a successful bid for his attentions,
"Hey, Zeke! Do you have an escort yet?"
"You can't be serious."
"Are you sure the mere thought wasn't what made him gay? I'm damn close to it being around you."
"This has been Rita Skeeter, continuing to bring you all the latest gossip and entertainment news."
"Rita! Don't forget this time!"
"I'm getting there, Zeke. Back off!