July 10, 2006 ~ Late Night
She had no idea how long she sat there in the darkened studio space. Long enough for any evidence of tears shed to have faded. Long enough to forget exactly when the sun went down. Long enough for her stomach to stop growling even when she hadn't appeased it with food.
Long enough to go over the pros and cons of calling for Finvar a few hundred times.
After long hours of debate, there was a long list of pros and only one con...Severus.
Severus. He'd tried to leave her. He'd come up with this mental plan to keep them together, but all it did was drive a wedge between them. He'd asked her to play along, then got angry when someone else expressed an interest. What had he expected? For her to play the broken hearted, never to recover, could never think of being in another relationship with anyone else, ex-girlfriend? She'd done that once. Never again. It wasn't who she was anymore and people knew that. People would have seen through it. No one would have believed it.
Some subconscious part of here suddenly realized just how gifted she was at rationalization.
He walked away from me. Said goodbye. What more do I need? Obviously, this was what he wanted from the beginning. I should have let him leave that night. I should have never come back in the first place.
That thought choked the breath from her. Did she really believe that? Was she better off alone, in some foreign country trying to forget how she felt? The people she'd left behind? Severus?
If she had been smart, had been thinking with her head instead of her own broken heart, she would have realized she should have called on Draco. Gotten drunk on expensive wine and cried into his blonde hair. But Draco was the last person she was thinking of as she released the small glass orb containing the red rose Finvar had made for her into the air and watched as it drifted out the window.