(no subject)

I've had quite enough of being sick. I don't like staying home from school, despite my lack of fondness for the place, the only thing I dislike more is having an overload of work from it. I'm also sick of doing nothing. Don't get me wrong, I adore my family and my mom has done SO much for me the past two days. I just really miss my friends. Friends being: Sam, Erin, Chelsea, Devon and Morgan. I really don't miss any guys. With the acception of one, who I really shouldn't miss.

I've also had enough of this particular boy I miss. I really despise him. He's a lying, cheating, self-absorbed moron who lets psychotic oompa-loompa's run his life. Therefore why would I miss him? Maybe because he is the first guy to put on a REALLY convincing act that he actually cared! He really didn't mind when I was in a terrible mood because I was PMSing, and he let me take it out on him. And he didn't listen to stupid rumors other people made up, and he told me that I deserved better than what I was receiving from a previous boyfriend. Then why did he stoop lower than that previous boyfriend ever did?

Maybe it's because of all that, that I miss him. Maybe I just miss that idea of him. That vision that he was that person, that's who I miss. But he's not that person. But I still miss it, and I miss the way I felt and I'm just really... sad, that I don't feel like that anymore. And sad is the best word that I can use to describe it. Because there's no mixed emotions, there's no prolonged, fancy SAT word for it. I'm sad, and that's it. And I think it's okay to be sad. So many people just tell me "get over it, you're better than him, he'll regret it..." I know all this. I know I'm better than her, and that they won't workout. Why isn't that satisfaction enough for me? Why can't I be happy with the reassurance that I have people there for me that ARE there for me, and who don't just say it.

I want to be happy again. And I'm not saying that I need him to be happy, I'm well aware that I don't. I just liked being happy with him. I liked having someone who told me how special I was, and how he'd never leave me or screw me over. How much better I was than her. How much nicer, and sweeter and friendlier I was. Not just how hot I was. How friendly his family was, his WHOLE family. Because believe me, I met his whole family. Someone his friends liked being around, and how much better they liked me. Why wasn't this enough? Why wasn't I enough?

Every girl wants to be THAT girl. the slutty girl, the quiet girl, the shy girl, the obnoxious girl, the ugly girl, the beautiful girl, the tall girl, the awkward girl, the weird girl. we ALL want to be that girl that you cannot forget. We don't want to be passed on, and forgotten. And some girls will use this want to their advantage. Like she did. Girls who don't want their ex's back until they see them with someone else. They'll jump on the chance to get him back, because it makes her feel accomplished. And maybe she does want him back, for the first two weeks until she starts realizing... "Oh, this wasn't really what I wanted. I'm going to go find someone else." Those are the girls who aren't fair. And those are the guys who are STUPID. They're all pretty stupid in one sense or another. But for the guy to take back the ex who used and abused him, or even if they didn't. You two are EX'S for some reason. Why are you complicating it by returning to that old realtionship?

And it's the girls who are dumped who will get the brunt of it. She's the one who sits there and questions themselves. What did I do wrong? Maybe I should've tried harder, or called more, or just left him alone. Maybe I should've been more aware of what he was doing. Why didn't I see this coming? Maybe if my hair was longer, or my jeans were tighter. I shouldn't have worn that shirt, I shouldn't have worn so much eye makeup. But probably the question these girls will ask themselves the most is "What was I thinking?"

It's hard to let go of something you never wanted to let go of. Especially if part of you still doesn't want to.
Still not mine!

(no subject)

So, I'm not feeling down, personally. But I had an idea...Maybe, to get this place going again, we could not jump back into, you know, kinda personal matters, but maybe try a...something...called "Have you ever felt...?"

So I'll start it off and see if it goes anywhere...

Have you ever felt so connected to someone that when they were away, you still felt like they were there? That when you thought of them, you felt like they were thinking of you too? Have you ever had a nagging in the back of your brain because you were thinking of them and maybe....somehow, crazy as this may sound...psychically you were connected with them? Even if they didn't know you were? Have you ever felt that this 'someone' was your soulmate, your one love, but that you were going to have to settle for your second love because you just have a feeling this one was never going to happen or if it did, it wouldn't work out?

Eh, I had more ideas for questions one could ask about this topic, but I'm uber tired and pretty excited to see where this might lead....

Bye, everyone.


P.S. Since I know things have changed since my initial application, I figured I'd fill out a newer, updated one.

Name: Josie's a nickname, real name's Evelyn. Call me what you wish.
Age: 18
Location: CT, that's it.
Reason For Joining: Been joined, and when I first joined, it was to vent and be helped and also to help in return when I could.
Contact: teawithoutacid (AIM); choreographedx@aol.com (email)
  • Current Mood
    thoughtful Is somebody thinking of you?


I can’t believe I have to choose.

I’ve been seeing this boy Joe for about 7 months. We weren’t going out or official because he didn’t “like that title”-- so we were just really really close.

I got sick of being just friends and I know he sort of sensed that, so I was open to opportunities that would come my way-- I met this other guy Dan, he’s such a sweet heart, we hung out like 3 times before he asked me out (on Friday the 13th), and of course I said yes because I’m looking for a relationship. NOW, the other guy Joe finds out about this and gets upset..so what did he do last night? HE ASKED ME OUT.

What should I do? Should I go for the guy I’ve been waiting for for months on end?
Or should I be with the VERY sweet guy who I’m getting to know? (this guy already got me a rose and found me a four-leaf clover, just because he knew it’d make me happy)

Ughhh. Seriously, ANY kind of help would be useful

girly situation.

so there's this guy joe i've been very "close" with for about 7 months. i've always wanted him to be my boyfriend, but a few months ago we talked about it and he said he couldn't have a relationship at that time. but now it's like every time we hang out, we get closer and closer. he's always taking me out to eat, and going to the movies- it was never like this the first few months, which is a good thing. plus, we don't hook up with other people.

now the problem is, i met this guy mike last week, and me and him we actually knew each other in high school, we just got re-acquainted. but i'm sort of interested in him. he's such a sweet heart, but i donno if he's just into hooking up, or a relationship. i remember a convo we had and he said something about just having fun.

i just don't really know what i should do. should i stay with joe, who treats me well but doesn't want to be with me -- or should i go for mike who's the sweetest guy and might be interested in a relationship ?