caffeinehype89 (caffeinehype89) wrote in __fantasynovel,

The Accost Of Prince Atlas

Hey, I'm caffeinehype89.
I began a promising piece about a strong female knight,
who has set out to kill a very naughty Prince Atlas.
It is a fantasy romance. And there will be explosions resulting from science experiements.

So here's a snippet. Critiques?

The Accost Of Prince Atlas

Written by Jacqueline Woods

Chapter One
Walking barefoot on the blue glass floor in Ryan’s study was one of her favorite impulses, like drinking brew faster than most men, reading erotica in the early dawn, and creeping up on him when he was conducting experiments.
She was tall for that day and age, being 5’7. Emma had shoulder length auburn hair, brown eyes, pretty features, and a lean, strong build. From her father, she had learned had to fight with sword, arrow, axe, and fists. Her mother had educated her from dusty attic books. And so she had grown, from a babe to a woman in her early twenties, like a weed.
Ryan was an enchanter, self taught, and because of this fact, things exploded a lot. But he was a genius, and she had come to him as an apprentice. He was quietly attractive to her, with black hair, soft features, and sky-blue eyes. He wore glasses, and odd contraptions on his face that covered his eyes from earth shattering explosions.
There she stood in her armor, which despite what peasant girls and baby making machines thought, was very heavy.
He took her arm and dragged her over to the counter.
"To be an enchanter, knowing potions, understanding chemistry, memorization and validating to me that you can do as I show you is the first step."
Together, they leaned over the endlessly long table that stretched throughout his enormous study.
She had come to Ryan because she respected him. He was one of the few men who didn’t treat her as a woman, or tried to grab her backside or flip her over and try to unbutton his trousers. He was interesting, and interesting was important when one wanted to learn a trade from another person. Like her, he was of mixed race, and knew not when his day of death would arrive. They just lived, and did what each day needed of the next.
He handed her a frock and motioned to her to remove her armor. He wore the same shabby frock. He glanced down at her bare feet, and shook his head.
Next came gloves, thin, but securely insulated, another thing Ryan had invented.
She was to write her own formulation for magnetic air, a thrish-thrash of elements that could be skewed together 23 different ways with different ingredients.
He watched her carefully, her gloved hands grabbing liquids, weeds, and hard materials with her gloved hands, mixtures from previous elements that they had worked with and she had mastered.
What she chose, was not only dangerous, but the most effective and daring way to create such a thing. She had forgotten a few steps, side steps she had cut, but had corrected them, unsafely of course. Safety was never a concern of Emma’s he mused.
After boiling a liquid that almost exploded in her face and he had tried to snatch away from her, what arose from the concoction was a beautifully perfect example of magnetic air, a gray, hard substance that floated delicately before their eyes. She caught it and handed it to him, with a look of smugness. He took it, feeling it over and over in his hands.
Instead of scolding her for the usual lack of care and grace, he grinned sheepishly, and nodded. "Very good." He noted, scribbling something down into one of his largely bound books.
A friendship of sorts had blossomed between them, and nothing more at that moment in time. Ryan was reserved and awkward with women, and Emma was precocious and was disappointed with past men she had been with. He now challenged her to a match, in which involved stars and bits of tree trunk. It was for a spell he knew she would love, as for her general love of the underwater rainforest.
Stars, if successfully caught (and there were still those out there that partook this once hobby as a career) worked miracles on trees, even sodden and sad ones. Many of them had become miserable due to Prince Atlas’s Forbidden Decree.
The forbidden decree was simply this; no one was allowed to assist any of the trees or living creatures in the Underwater Rainforest, simply because he wanted to start his own, in with the new, out with the old.
Emma was planning her rebel against him, and Ryan knew that this was partially her reasoning to becoming an enchanter. He liked this about her, loved it.
When the purple sunset cast over her hair from outside of this enormous laboratory windows, he knew he loved her.

Ryan dreamt of equations, the genetic makeup of everything, and extinct dragons he knew were hidden in off shore caves and in the mountains of mist.
He also dreamt of her, and her lips pressed to his. She always seemed to be running towards someone or something (very fast) with a sword. Her strength surpassed his prerequisit ideas of what a mortal could do.
Not only that, but her traveling impressed him. She had been around the globe, to nearly every kingdom, drank with warlords, ate a dead witch’s carcass to save a man she once loved, and rode a horse like a man. He could never tell her how magnificent she looked in her armor. Or that he had adored her from afar before she came to him.
Emma was more infamous, than famous, as she ‘was only a woman’ as Ryan had heard other men say. He had been annoyed by this comment......




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