The Everlasting Why

(no subject)

Hi. My name is Calli (musecalliopeia), and I am now 23 months clean of cutting!

I started cutting when I was 16. I am now 34. Prior to getting into recovery, the longest I'd been able to go without cutting was about a month and a half.

I recently opened a new self-injury recovery journal, selfinjuryanon. Please feel free to come by and check it out - anyone is welcome to join. I want this to be a safe, supportive place for people to come together and share their experiences.

I don't post about my new community to be obnoxious - I post because I'm proud of the recovery I've found, how long I've gone without hurting myself, and I want to help other people. I'm proud of the members of my new community, and the way that they are opening up to themselves, to one another, and how they are reaching for help, and reaching out to help.

See, a couple years ago, I hit bottom. Hard. And when I looked around for help, I couldn't find anything, really. There was no "self-injury [or self-mutilation or cutters, or whatever] anonymous". I talked to therapists and people who worked in the recovery community, and they didn't know of anything. So I created this community to be a safe haven for people who self-injure. There are a lot of us, and we mostly feel so very alone.

But we're not alone. We have each other, and we can help each other get through this. We all know how tough it is, and we're learning how satisfying it is to make it through.
  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative
nana

(no subject)

Name: Yazmin
Age: 17
Why did you join?: Have been cutting for years and just can't stop...
Anything Else about you : Reading the posts in this LJ community made me realize that there's people like
me out there ...It makes me feel a little less lonely I guess
garterbelt

new

Name: Jordan AKA Jo, im a girl
Age: 14
Why did you join? im sick of no-one knowing what i do
Anything Else about you: i cut frequently, and i dont want to stop, but i think i should

I love him soo mcuh

So yea... basically we do not have a happy jessy… Today I had to present for English and recite a thing from Romeo and Julie memorized. So I walk in the class all ready to do this and shit and then once the teacher says you may start… I freeze. and start sobbing and then out of no were I faint and then when I wake up I say I love Shawn… and then I started crying again… this is so hard for me but I guess it makes him happy and that’s all I care about… I haven’t cut since the break up and I don’t intend to... I’m going to try and get clean.. including drugs and stuff…. So yea. but the thing is, is that i love him soo much and it hurts soo bad not to talk to him. But i was the one at fault this time so i have to deal with my pain... Uggh i hate this....<3
  • Current Music
    Superman- Five for fighting

(no subject)

Wow i don't know what to day...
My mom is being a total bitch right now i mean i only literally have 2 pairs of Jeans i can wear because the birth controle made my hips get bigger so i don't fit into anything anymore.. and i also need boots for the winter and she like you have what 20 you go buy it. I'm like mom you always said if i NEEDED somthing you would get it... and a 20 isn't even enough to buy a decent pair of jeans... She has always made me buy things i don't need and now she's gone a lil to far. Me and my parents don't really get along... but w.e. i mean uggh i don't even think i can say what goes on in my own home. I wish i could but oh well.

I'm getting pissed really easily lately and i dont know why i think i'm under WAY to much stress and i don't know why i'm letting it get to me i feel like i'm running around like a crazzzzzzy lady all the time and i'm pissing a lot of friends off because i'm not really with it and ready to hear them bitch about every lil fucking thing...
....Ughh Help....
  • Current Music
    the sound of my mind raceing with antisipation

(no subject)

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b50/FallenHard896/Picture062.jpg I got hurt again http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b50/FallenHard896/Picture064.jpg My life's at stake http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b50/FallenHard896/Picture063.jpg i've been pushed over the edge http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b50/FallenHard896/inverted.jpg I just keep falling
  • Current Music
    oar- love and momories

(no subject)

Things have changed a wee bit. I don't know what to think anymore this is now the almost 5th week with not sleeping well in general and the 1 1/2 week with not sleeping at all and now i'm getting sick

This Guy yoni keeps on calling me because he likes me and i think he's a creep... ughh

I miss dane a whole lot we aren't even tlaking... we're loosing our friend ship i hate this.... i sometimes just think myself that i want to die and wilt like a flower. But i know i can't because there are to many people who care about me.
For once i wish things could be the way i wanted them to i feel soooo deppressed because of this stupid shit... I don't know what to do anymore.... i'm lost someone come and find me
  • Current Music
    None