self-injury awareness speech---SUCCESS

Hello everybody. It's been awhile and for that I am terribly sorry although I'm sure not many have noticed. (teeheee) A lot have things have taken place and my stomach now has the words "violate and hurt me" a little above the belly button. Not too much blood however there was an unbearable itch for a couple of weeks. *cringe* I'm not sure I'll do that again. *probably will*

I gave a speech on self-inury awareness for my class yesterday. I did the whole without any sleeves and made a bleeding board dawning my old journal entries with blood and a few cussing words (the teacher didn't mind too much). Before I even stepped up in front of the class, I was getting compliments for it (genuine supportive comments) I didn't receive any funny looks while I was presenting and afterwords, students gave me great feedback that made me smile. It was at the least inspiring and uplifting. So now a good majority of the sophmore class knows I self-injure and no one critizes me for it. I'm happy :3
Hopefully, me coming out so boldly will urge others to do the same. Now the support group won't have to be unerground but out in the open!!!!

My speech. It's pretty long so grab a snackCollapse )

I hope I did self-injurers justice!

i sort of understand

why do ppl judge us so much?
attention seekers they call us..
im 21 years old, no teenager with domstic problems anymore.-
I ADMIT! i was seeking the attention..kinda.. when i started, it hurt so much,
i just wanted someone to see..
but then, thats like 6 years ago now.

it's not attention that i want anymore.

i cut myself, because it feels good, it takes away the pain for awhile.
the pain inside me, that big stone that lies there, blocking my breath.

you wouldent say to an alkoholic; "stop drinking, youre so immature. you just want the attention!"
Anyway, i can only speak for myself when i say, that it's an addiction for me.

And i dont blame those who say mean things.
even my friends have said mean things.
they dont know any better..
And i guess, im the judging kind myself.
you judge, when you just dont know...
  • Current Music

the speed of pain

They slit our throats
Like we were flowers.
And our milk
Is wind

When you want it
It goes away to fast
Times you hate it
Always seems to last
Just remember when you think you’re free
The crack inside your fucking head
Is me

I wish
I could sleep
But i cant lay on my back
Cous its enough
For every day
That i’ve known you

When you want it
It goes away to fast
Times you hate it
Always seems to last
Just remember when you think you’re free
The crack inside your fucking head
Is me

Laugh to me
Cry to me
Give to me
I would
Lay with me
Die with me
Give to me
I would
  • Current Music


its been sometime since i've updated.
the reason is i've had nothing new to report.

just been working out,
damn it was hard. we had this crazy chick with toooo much energy in class.
wow... but it feels soo good though..

for you who wants to know, my body has started getting used to the pills,
and i dont feel so jittery anymore.
it's okey, but it makes me want to eat more. ehm, its hard to explain.
i dont eat more though, cous im so determined and i've started losing weight, and i've actually lost 5 lbs in 5 days..

and that makes me wanna lose more you know!

other than that, of you who've asked me where to get them and suchs,
i maybe have to say, that you get kinda angry and you lose your nerve really fast.
at least i do. but maybe it got something to do with me not eating as much as i used to.
remember im mia, so im used to stuffing my face!!


well, good girl!!
went to the gym, worked off about 500 cals.. so im even!
my pills still making me happy..!
  • Current Music
    a storm outside


could not sleep at all yesterday.. and today, my roomie's brother came and woke me up, because i had to lock him outta the house..
bah! and then i just had to get up, eat breakfast, eat pill, drink lots of tea..
im feeling jittery. again. i can feel the pill starting to work, and soon im gonna go to the gym, cous i cant sit still!!

  • Current Music
    hide from the sun- the rasmus

(no subject)

im on (diet)pills right now.
i've got some pills with ephedrine in them.
they're called DO-Do chesteze, and are suppose to be for, yeahm, chesteze, pain in the chest....
but they are really good for supressing hunger, and they also make you wanna work out, and do know..:):)
and im kinda proud, cous their working so damn good..

and i dont WANNA eat!
it's amazing! and with green tea, and about 400cals a day...i think this is gonna work.
i hope!!!
i really wanto!
and i REALLY need to.
i hate my body so much these days that it's unbearebol.
  • Current Mood
    crazy crazy