beanlady (smithlady) wrote in __bulimic,
beanlady
smithlady
__bulimic

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Third Act

Dear you? you are dear
Hello I wanted to write. This is still a part of me, from whatever intermission I was trying to prolong. I played the part of normal through August and September. It was some sort of step in heaven.. the sense of my old self walking in my shoes, but wiser with a whole new look of things, and knowledge of what to look for. Then emotions said "pay up, we need our fill". And when they come you remember the bare things that make you who you are, because you're back to where you started, but feeling like the glue that put you back together last time is missing, and there's no one to mend the heart lying six feet under when no one expects they should be searching for where it's buried.
Soo.. this is what a dump smells like.
But wait, I forgot to tell you yesterday was my one month anniversary of being bulimia free! (well activity wise, that is).
So in celebration I had a very romantic dinner with myself. with rose decor, candlelit room, and the sweet smell of not dumps, but homemade lentil soup.
Or actually I bought sheet music. not really as a reward, it was just something I did.
Ahh reverie, it made me cry, it really did. "Reverie", by Claude Debussy
And then learning it was what the music played in my grandmother's powder box, was Beautiful.

So I didn't come here to be annoying. I wanted to say thanks to those girls who left advice on my blogs from long ago, because it was lovely of you and helped.
Ahh this is more of a diary entry, hahah. But I guess. that is okay.
Goodnight to anyone. Goodnight goodnight goodnight.
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