There’s this guy who dorms on campus that freaks me out sometimes. I would be on my way to class or to the Dining hall or just about, but when we pass each other all he does is stare at me.
You know when someone is, for instance, staring into a crowd and they just have this blank expression on their face when they are watching someone… just looking? Well that’s what I get from him. Of course I kinda thought that he was not looking at me once, but it would just carry on for months. When he looks at me he even uses his eyes to follow me and where I’m going. My friend even caught him looking at me the whole time, when I got up to get some more soda from the machine thing. When I’m in the Hall eating, I would be talking to my friends, being silly and laughing up a storm, then I would turn (you know how you just look around sometimes just to look… kill some time, flick your hair lol) and he would be walking with his head turned, to look at me where I was sitting.
I was on my way to the Hall one morning to eat and I had to pass him and his friend to get to the entrance. Instead of walking between them, I walked around them. Duh. Of course he saw my approach about a minute (YES!! That long before) before I reached them, and he just stared at me the whole time. It was a bit weird, so to minimize that uncomfortable feeling, I gave a slight smile and said hey. Just to be cordial, because if I passed by anyone and had not said hello it sometimes makes me feel weird… like I’m trying to ignore them or something. Which is not the case. Anyway, I say hello, and keep walking. He smiles and nods, and I see him (out of my peripheral) turn his head, then his whole body, now facing my back directly as I walked away. I kinda thought he would be still looking, so as I opened the door with my left hand (I’m right handed mind you), I gave that slight nonchalant look slightly over my left shoulder, and LOW and BEHOLD! HE was still looking at me with the slightest smile.
What gives? That’s just weird.
This leads me to the story of this morning when I was in the Hall eating. I just happened to look up towards the entrance after taking a bite of my sandwich and there he was, walking down the isle. But the whole time he was looking at me and walking slowly. When I looked up he was already looking at where I was sitting, alone, eating. What was I to do? So whatever, I looked back down at my food like he was non-existent then looked up just in time to nod then look back down at my food, like waiting to hear or see him acknowledge me greeting was a waste of time. LOL But why does he look at me so? It’s the look I give a guy when I think he’s cute. That’s why the way he looks at me bugs me, because I don’t know what it means. *shrug* Do I dare say maybe he finds me cute? I feel stupid saying such a thing because it makes me feel like I’m being arrogant, or that I’m all into myself or something. Maybe he isn’t even gay… but if he is, what sort of game are we playing? Sometimes I don’t like playing, but I guess somewhere deep down, I always look forward to the next time we play dare to stare…