daftrockstone (daftrockstone) wrote in __blending_in__,

Dodging "the" question

For the majority of the summer, I've ignored the real world coming out process because I've been busy studying for the biggest exam of my life. As soon as it ended (literally while driving home with a couple of friends), I was faced with a my first post-exam inquiry from a friend:

Friend: So, do you have a girlfriend?
Me: Nope
Friend: Why not?

Me: Never really had the time, been really busy cause my life has been so focused on school, career and just trying get ahead in life. Plus I don't really want to be a neglective boyfriend cause it wouldn't be fair.
Friend: Oh, well, now that the exam is over, you should really find a girlfriend.
Me: Yeah, that might be an idea. But I'm going to be so busy once we go back to work. My schedule already appears to be pretty bad. I know a couple of people that stayed single until they quit this job because there just wasn't any time for finding someone.
Friend: Do you ever get lonely being single?
Me: Yeah, it does get a bit lonely.
Friend: You should at least TRY to find one now that its over. You're a really nice guy.
Me: Yeah, I'm gonna have to do something about it. I don't want to be alone forever.

I was so tempted to just blurt out "I'm gay!" but I knew that it wasn't the right time. Plus for anyone who read a previous entry I wrote on my journal, this is one of my work friends and in my ordering of telling people, they rank below "other friends" and most of those people are still in the dark. Its a little bit amusing that everyone still thinks that a 25 year-old who's been single almost his entire life is straight without really questioning it. Who knows, maybe these people talk about me behind my back. I guess I'll find out someday.

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