(no subject)

So I haven't been much in the mood for writing.
But seeing as some of you lovely people actually did comment on my last two pieces, I thought I should toss my next bit out there.
Not quite as angry and melodramatic as the last...But I like it none-the-less.


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(no subject)

Hi, my name is Sarah and I joined this community to get some feedback on my writing.  I hope to go to school to be a journalist and I figure it's a good idea to see if I even have any talent whatsoever.  I'll be posting all sorts of writing in here.  Give feedback if you'd like, thanks!  

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    jack johnson

(no subject)

I'm new here...obviously.
And was excited when i found this(by searching for 'Bret Easton Ellis' in 'interests'
Because i love writing, but am really bad at it so have always been too intimidated to ask anyone for feedback.
But since this is like...the unknown, it feels...safer?
I don't know.
Be harsh.
Be brutal.
Please someone make some sort of attempt at a response/critique? ^^

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Thanksys much.~

The pen is mightier than he sword...

Greetings all! As is quite obvious, I am new to this community. I have been looking for a Community based on writing off and on for a while now, and am glad to have found one. Here's a quick sample of some of my work!

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Hope to get around to reading everyone else's work soon!!!
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    M teacher talking to us.

Here's to dying in anothers arms...and why I had to try it....

Hello all!

I'm Aes, a new member of this community. I'm excited to have stumbled upon it, because for a while now I have been searching high and low for someplace to put my work, where it doesn't have to follow any sort of theme or pattern, and people could critique me on it.

Alot of my works are drabbles, or rants really, and most of it is light-ish dark to very dark. I am a wonderfully cheerful person on the outside, but my writing doesn't reflect that at all. Haha.

Here are two little essay-spiels I have put forth.
I will post more when I get a chance. Alot of my stuff I have in my journal, so if find you like my tone, or enjoy anything at all, feel free to friend me.

Please let me know what you think!

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I realize it looks like I'm all over the place, but longer pieces are more organized.

Ta! and Thank you!
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    Perfect Drug - NIN


I am a new user that arrived to this great community: free of fairs and with the liberty to express feelings and hopes. I am a free thinker and lover, with normal emotions and natural curiosity for all. In my heart i have a big place for new friends and i think I arrived in the right place to fill it.

Lost work

Alright, I was cleaning my room and I found some interesting things:

This was an assignmet from the 7th grade. I had to make a science story out of vocabulary words, I think its pretty good though, for a homework assignment I mean.

Heading North

His name was Rick, everyone called him Ricky; but soon that wouldn't matter. When Ricky was young his favorite subject in school was science. His favorite thing to do in science was study magnetism.

When he got older he became an expert in that specific field. He studied everything from magnetic domains to tranformers.

When he was twenty he became a science teacher. He taught his classes everything from electromagnetism to induction. Then Ricky thought that his teaching career was going nowhere. "These students don't even know the difference between an electrmagnet and an electricmotor," he thought.

So once the school year ended he quit his teaching job and ecided to trave. He had family down south and that was about it, but for some reason he packed his things and some money, also the best compass he could find, and headed North.

Something was calling him in that direction. It was like a force pulling him and he couldn't resist but to follow it. He headed North for six years. After his second year he ran out of money and had to travle by foot, but nevertheless he kept heading North.

He didn't know what he was looking for, and often he wanted to just drop where he stood and die, but he couldn't, because that force was still pulling him in that one direction. And thats how he would die, heading North, with no power to stop himself.

This one I probably did in the sixth or seventh grade

I Need Someone...

I need someone who will understand me,
Not just to walk hand in hand with me.

I need someone to be my protector,
Not someone who would just lecture.

I need someone I can talk with,
Not someone I can only kiss.

I need someone who thinks I'm smart and whitty,
Not someone who just thinks I'm pretty.

I need someone who would love me with joy,
Not someone who woul so quickly use me for their toy.

I need someone who would always pull me through,
I need some one thats obviously not you.

This one I entered in the literary fair in the seventh grade, but it was disqualified because the guy died in the end.

The So Called Nonexistent Alien That Killed Me

Some people don’t believe in monsters, but I encountered one one night. It was a late, star filled night. Cool and humid were the late October winds. It was actually the night before Halloween at my little house isolated in the middle of nowhere. Nothing much happens, it’s just me by myself, which is ironic, because if anything interesting ever did happen, no one would ever be around to see it, no one would ever know.

I was lying on my back in bed, looking at the ceiling, trying to think of what I should be doing with my pathetic life. “There’s an entire world beyond all this nothingness,” I thought, “How did I ever end up here?” As I was pondering for an answer I heard a sound. Now my house makes all types of noises, I have grown so accustomed to them that I don’t even hear them anymore. They’re just another sway of a branch. Then I told myself, “Something is wrong.” What made me catch this sound? Why was this sound so different?

I glanced towards the window and caught a pale, sea foam green light emitting through the lace curtains. I got up, opened the window, and pushed my head out. There in the untamed sea of grass as tall as the sky, was a ship, an alien ship I first thought, pouring light into the darkness. It wasn’t like the flying saucers that people supposedly spot in the sky when coincidently no one is around to witness it along with them. I t wasn’t like the ships we launch in to space in search of life again and again on the same tight, short leash limiting its exploration to our tiny solar system. No, it wasn’t any of those, it was more like a sphere, a rotating sphere with rays swirling from every which way, each ray a different color.

The sphere separated in half, and lowered a line of steps. Coming down the steps so gracefully was a man like figure. The only thing is he wasn’t a man, he wasn’t from this world; tall and slender, big head and long limbs, pale green skin. It was truly something interesting. It’s too bad that no one’s around to see it, that no one would ever know. I’ve seen to many horror movies to just stand there staring, always the one who just stands there, dies first, and I was the only one there. So of course I’d be the first and only one who dies if I didn’t move now.

Instead of standing there staring as he came down the steps, I ran. Instead of screaming senselessly till I went hoarse and blue in the face, I ran. Instead of sitting back on the bed and waiting to die, I pulled my head from out the window and ran. I grabbed my coat, pulled on my boots and raced out the door heading towards the woods. I kept a steady pace hoping he didn’t see me, when without warning, in the dead of silence, the alien appeared in front of me. It held its hand in the air, a ball of light formed and rocketed as a beam straight through my left shoulder hurting as much as being shot. Now I’ve never been shot before but I’ve heard that it isn’t very fun. I fell to the floor and hit my head. I took that as a warning, got up and kept running. I reached the river in the center of the woods when he appeared again.

He held his hand out again, I knew what he was going to do but I was frozen with fear and amazement at how quick he was. It’s too bad that no one’s around to see it, that no one will ever know. He did it again, but this time he took out my right shoulder. I swung around and bounded to the house, planning to lock the door even though I knew it was futile. Just then he appeared cutting me off, at first, he hesitated as if waiting for me to surrender. I stood my ground not about to lose my dignity. If I were to go down I would go down with pride.

He held his hand up in the air just like before. I just looked into his eyes. Then he struck me down, right in the chest. With his arrow like power he pierced straight through my heart. That very moment at 12:00a.m. precisely, no later, no less, that very moment on H Halloween, Jake Colfman died, and from then on I swore revenge. I came back every Halloween, sat on my bed with the window open and my rifle at hand, waiting for him to come back. What can I say he left a mark on me, three of them actually. Maybe this is why I was put out here.

I guess interesting things do happen, the most interesting things. It’s just too bad that no one’s ever around to see it, that no one would ever know.

There is one more that I wrote last year, I'll post that another time.
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(no subject)

I'am 17 and human,and I make mistakes, but I love feedback.I've never been much of a dog lover. Always been horribly scared by the mere sight of a dog. But that was before, Eddie, an adorable black lab pup came into my life. Apart from loving me and extracting love from me, Eddie has inspired an extrodinary amount of imagination. Take a look.:)

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