jambo_adam (jambo_adam) wrote in ___heartsfc,


Choose life, choose Leith, choose not winning the cup for over 100 years,
choose Gareth Evans, choose a disabled fan's carer running on to the park for
a sly kick at Stuart Dougal, choose hookers down Coburg Street, choose
Jimmy Boco, choose the smell wafting from the Seafield sewage works over
the Links each morning, choose losing to a bunch of Lithuanian waiters in the
Inter Tattie cup, choose entering the Inter tattie cup in the first place, choose
Jocky Scott, choose dirty needles, choose having the worst derby record in
the entire world, choose Alan Sneddon, choose making a big deal about
being "the first to wear the green" like it actually matters, choose being one
day away from being closed down by your biggest rivals, choose being
'classy' when half of your support is made up of chavs, choose singing songs
about refugees, choose a tenner bag, choose David Fellinger, choose David
Duff and Jim Gray, choose trying to kid people into believing that you've
always played good football when the truth is that you've been absolutely
shyte for 30 years, choose going on and on and on about a game that
occurred before most of you were even born, choose the Loch Inn, choose
Edward Hurtado, choose getting humped 5-1 by some Ukranian team whose
name nobody can pronounce, choose hiring an open-top bus for a cup final
against a diddy team and then proceeding to lose the match, choose losing
30,000 'fans' on the way home from said cup final, choose Benny Brazil,
choose your derby rivals having won more derby matches at your ground
than you have, choose to go on and on and on about once beating Real
Madrid in a friendly match, choose Steve Cowan, choose running on the park
for a sly kick at Andy Goram, choose Salamander Street, choose John
Burridge, choose going 22 games in a row without beating your biggest rivals,
choose making a big deal about a scoreboard that worked for a month,
choose Alex Miller, choose incessantly going on about how some shady
Russian is going to sell Tynecastle and shut Hearts down only to look on in
horror as he invests heavily in the team, writes millions of pounds of debt off
and builds a new main stand, choose Joe Tortolano, choose Burberry caps,
skiddy pants and shell-suits, choose flairdoo's instead of hairdoo's, choose
thinking that 'Sunshine on Leith' is not dreadful, choose running on the park
for a sly kick at John Robertson, choose John Robertson scoring 27 goals
against you, choose Wayne Foster actually scoring a goal against you and
putting you out of the cup into the bargain, choose Bobby Williamson, choose
hiring a manager with a monkey head, choose worshipping and buying a
decanter for a manager who only won one match, choose defending your
club captain for urinating in a charity shop doorway after a team night out
watching strippers, choose thinking that the term 'yam' is even slightly
amusing in any way shape or form, choose Mickey Weir, choose Pirniefield in
the morning, choose being the most ungracious losers this side of
Christendom, choose the cow-shed, choose going out of business when
Celtic nicked all your players, choose running on to the pitch to celebrate your
first derby win in 10 years only to be chased off again by the visiting support,
choose living in the shadows of your neighbours for 131 years and forever
knowing that you will always be the wee team, choose the Proclaimers,
choose John Leslie, choose Hibs.

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