write me back with thoughts


Hey everyone,

this post may seem a little weird but bear with me,

im a photography student at ryerson university in toronto, im in my last year (fourth) and im working on my final project. the focus of my project is girls who live with, or are recovering from, or who have had an eating disorder. this project is very personal to me as i lived with ana and mia for five years. i used to visit all of these sites and coming  back to them has brought up alot of all memories of the girls i met over these sites and the support i recieved. i am not fully recovered but i am really looking into the pressures and feelings that go along with this and im reflecting alot on my own life and the effects of this. my photos will be only from the shoulder up, a classic headshot, because i dont want each photo to be about the body at all. my purpose is to bring awareness to this and put a face to this struggle. i also want to get rid of stereotypes i have found people have about girls who obsess with what they eat. people have very strong assumptions which i want to change.
i have the upmost respect for everyone im shooting and im looking for anyone of any age and colour. i am willing to go a distance from toronto so you dont have to come to me if youre not able or comfortable.

if any of you are willing to sit for me or talk to me about this you have no idea what that would mean to me,

please visit my site at www.kajatirrul.com just to see that im legitimate.

if you go under contacts youll see my email and number in case you want to talk to aside from livejournal.


A few questions, if you don't mind

I'm doing an article for the local paper about the pro-ana mia community and, if it's not a problem, I would like to ask some questions, so I can make the article as accurate as possible.

They aren't personal, no real names are used.

1. When did you first become ana/mia?
2. How long have you been ana/mia?
3. Do you think ana/mia should no longer be called mental disorders? Why or why not?
4. Are hate crimes a serious problem, are you ridiculed because of your lifestyle?
5. What's your goal weight?
6. How old are you (for statistics)?
7. What gender are you (also for statistics)?
8. When did you find the Pro-ana mia community and how did you react to it?
9. Do your parents have any idea that you're pro-ana/mia (again, statistics)?
10. How do you react to an anti-ana mia statement?

Thank you.
me at 104 lbs, april 2008

i think im losing weight!

 ive been doing the green tea & trail mix fast. i only nibble a tiny bit per day & i do believe im beginning to see the outline of ribs, ya & when i go to weigh in this saturday i have a feeling its going to be a lot better than 130.2. lets just wait & see. i want to hear how everyone else is doing. someone plz write me & tell me how theyre doing
me at 104 lbs, april 2008


i bought clothes instead!!! really hot shirts from express & aeropostale. some neat shit from hot topic, including 3pairs of leggins (tights w/out feet). i got  a special water bra from victoria secret. wow! i said id never spend that much ona bra!. it was $50, a water bra, w/water inside so i look bigger. also got the cutlets shapers to go IN the bra to make me look major!!! the bra is so soft i see why gurls spend $$ on this shit. i also got a really pretty pair of shoes that have sneaker bottoms but pretty tops - from sketchers :-) & i bought a corduroy book bag that says Hollister on it!!!   now how easy was it to spend $400 in 2 hourse :-O i felt like i must deserve this after suffering w/my weight for so long. ive just gone up another 1/2 lb, so im  now 130.2, i want to scream & cry & rage!!!!! i need to download some evil metal rock so i can  burn off this shitty feeling!! cept i dont have a downloader cuz they cause trojans etc. so no tunes for me. but im thinkin of one i like by mike patten from faith no more called, "little gurl".............luv it............pray for my success as i do for you. you gurls are my life-line! why the fuK am i gaining?????????????? ps the hoodia made me very sick & barfed twice friday, wicKed nice............now what

  • vegout6

dying inside

well im so sick of everything
i had lost 10lbs on my recent liquid fast 
then gained back about 4 and i had just lost like that weight last week

but i binge 
and i cant fix it
i purged a few times but that did not help 
n e way 
im goin back on my liquid fast
but im eating breakfast with my sis in the morning 
so i have to eat a little bit
but not much 
im not much of  breakfast eater you no 
yea n e way im really angry at myself
if i dont eat im ok but
when i do i eat to much....also a side note
ever since my recent purges 
after i eat now puke seems to want to come up 
i dont no 
n e way 
long sorry
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    the almost -say this sooner
me at 104 lbs, april 2008

im gaining weight

im now 129.6 & am NOT willing to be back in the 130's. if i starve i dont lose, if i nibble ev few hrs i fuKing gain. i am so over my body. i hate it!!! my daughter's on medifast & is gonna fly right by me in weight, biatch. no way do i have any desire to medifast my way. i have my ways of what i do. but they're not working. plz, if anyone has advice, im dying here. i CANt be 130 again, i'll die. whatever happened to fuKn 99 lbs???????????????? how the fuk am i ever gonna get close to that???????????????????????????????????? what if she's right & my body is only gonna go so low??? does that happen??? you reach a limit & thats that??????????

plz w/b, im dying inside. ps im new here, thank you for accepting me!!

ilu all

  • vegout6

Fresh start

Hey guys Im new, I was just wondering whats the most anyone haslost in the shortest time. Just curious. Also I wanted to say hey. im starting fresh this fall. A new diet my currentdiet kind of stopped working. I just quit losing weight, really depressing. But on monday my first day back to class Im starting a new fall diet new season new diet right.. any good tips or anything
  • Current Music
    fall out boy homesick at spacecamp

(no subject)

i feel like shit, im so tired lately and keep craving food, ive been sick for past week so i havnt eaten much all i ate today was an orange and lots of water also my friends bought me some candy sticks and i had to eat them there not to bad i love them though! but for some reason i have gained a pound im now 6 stone 9 wtf?!?!?!? why cnt god let me be fing thin!!!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!

Age: 13
Height: 5' 6"
CW: 93lbs
GW: 84lbs
Mood: Crap