i just got back from the BYSC camp. Where we focus on Privledge and Race (trying to end discrimination) and now that im back from it people are treating me diffrently. They think that just because i ask them not to make racist comment around me that i think im better than all of them (which is so not true) and then my boyfriend is VERY racist and he gets made when i dont laugh at his racist jokes... i tried to tell him that im not comftorble hearing stuff like that (becasue some of my closest friends now are from other racis.) So now most of my Old friend think that im being 'arrogant' becasue i dont think that racist jokes are funny and i dont use the n worg or call anything 'gay' any more.
ok and then there is also this Black boy.... that i really like. But i mean i have a boyfriend and i told him about this guy and he laughed at me becasue he thought i was kidding (trust me im not) and now he is all pissed at me becasue he thinks that i have changed to much... maybe i have. I just feel like its time for me to grow up and start relizing how great i have it but that i will never be truly happy with myself unless i can helkp other people.
So what should do.... dump my boyfriend for the new guy and run the risk of being out casted from school becasue of it *i live in a very close minded town* or just stay with my current boy and have to constantly
hear him make fun of all my new friends just becasue they look diffrent than me.... why does race have to matter at all. Anf im not asking these questions becasue of race... i really like both boys regardless but im scared that if i chose one i will be outcasted from all my friends and be constantly made fun of and harrased just becasue im dating a black guy..... ahh this is all so complicated! please help!