Liar, Liar.

I was watching this German news station/show (that was actually in English) at about three AM Saturday morning, and the un-biased reporting almost made me cry. No seriously, I haven’t enjoyed watching the news so much since I was in England. I’d kill to live in Europe, I’m lucky I’m in a profession where it’s very possible that I could move to anywhere in Europe for vocational training. Anyways, yeah the news show as really good and I enjoyed it a lot. While I was watching it three things bugged the hell out of me, 1. The United Nations had a conference and decided to put a budget cap on the organizations spending so that it could fix conflicts and such faster. One of the main countries behind this was the U.S. See I had no problem with this, I thought it was a good idea, I blame the U.N. for not resolving things quickly enough and not taking the reins away from the U.S. and be the world police entity it should be, so when I heart this I could have cared less, but then they said that the smaller, more impoverish countries had no say in the whether or not to have a budget cap because they didn’t contribute enough money. See I have a problem with that, the seven or so main countries that make the U.N. should not be having all the control, the point of having a world governing body was so that everybody policed everybody fairly and that no one country had all of the controlling power. This proposition (it got passed by the way) is basically a loop hole for the richest countries to have all the say, that’s bullshit. The second thing that bugged the hell out of me was that the European countries put out eleven warrants on CIA operatives because they kidnapped a Muslim whom they believed was a leader of a terrorist cell that feeds money to Al Qaeda and took him to Egypt to question him. First of all, what the fuck is the U.S. kidnapping people for (apparently this has happened more than you’d think), isn’t that a terrorist activity? I mean isn’t that a shared complaint with us and a lot of other countries? Aren’t we tired of the terrorist kidnapping people and killing them or ransoming them? Yet we do the same thing. That’s bullshit. Oh and the reason for all of Europe issuing the warrants is because apparently they use their air fields as prisoner trade off sites, so that they can get rid of the evidence (the abductees) before any police or military personnel can stop them. Finally the third thing that bugged me was why didn’t we hear a damn thing about either of these news stories? Now I was being naive, I was being coy, I know the reason why. The reason is that our media (as liberal as all of you Republican scum claim it is) cover up everything and refuse to broadcast certain stories. That’s bullshit. Someday I hope I can get in some position of power where I can get the U.S. population some real news. Although there is a place,, that has some good news that is condemed by the New York Times. Later on the New York Times said that they were bribed not to tell the story that Capitol Hill Blue did. Coincidence?, that's for you to decide.
  • Current Music
    Debussy; Pavane Pour une Infante Defunte

revision of the "zen" thing

i am not free
i do nothing to quiet
my inflamed mind

war wipes out
another thousand
tearing humans
limb from limb
while i sit and try zazen

i never sleep anymore
i smell burnt flesh
my eyes sting
startle response is like a knife
cutting through my routine

i remember those monks on fire
how still how serene
until one last wisp of green fire
drifts and is gone

i can't close my eyes anymore


ahh i guess this was too political for the zen community (tho i thought it was sort of tame) anyways here if you want to read it

the zen within

war rages on
blood is shed for oil
i try to find my zen within
and when i close my eyes
i see the burning flesh
the eyes full of flies
the stench of death
i never sleep anymore
they say to start with peace within
to still my bipolar unquiet mind
and i feel like
one of those monks on fire
only not really, just internally
i want to do
but i don't do
i want to be
but who is free

(no subject)

this is from my journal, i am new here, i am a communist and i am disabled and struggling songwriter and poet, thought i would share

here is one of my old horror songs. i have lightened up some but i am feeling mad again. i wrote this during the first gulf war. i was thinking about that drunk dalai lama. there had been a drunk dalai lama once and he liked poetry, i was thinking what if a bodhisattva went to where the pain was, to understand the suffering, and what if he went to viet nam and then had flashbacks during following wars.

Drunk Bodhisattva

There's another drunk bodhisattva
crying into his beer
he asks "how long does it take
to get to the mountain?
just how far is there from here?"

Some catch the sun and the moon and the stars
how one may catch the flu
you could collapse on hot asphalt,
and noone would notice you

Outside the bar there's a procession
they carry an empty throne for you
join the parade, bodhisattva,
they wave their flags for you

"Their flags they stink bloody murder
they collect blood in gas cans
I'd rather be swallowed by a bear
than die like a dog in the gutter,"

"I could rest my head in green velvet
bleed in the moss by the stream
but I'll always hear that crying mother
scooping up her baby's brain,"

"She tried to put it in a hole in its head
split open by a bomb
and along the road were 10,000
10,000 crushed human bones..."

!0,000 arms 10,000 legs
10,000 crushed human bones

!0,000 eyes 10,000 ears
10,000 crushed human bones

"have another drink Bodhisattva,
shoot another game of pool
The drinks on me Bodhisattva
you can sleep by the river down the road..."
future tattoo

Some things that might be of interest to members here

Back by popular demand:
Discovering Community and Developing Identity: The Fifth Annual Retreat for Disability Activists & Allies
will be held August 26 - 28, 2005, at The Leaven Center near Lyons, Michigan. Join us for this weekend of community building, dialogue, and shared reflection among disability activists and allies who are experiencing the radical and transforming power of the Disability Rights Movement. Retreat Leaders: Peg Ball and Sarah Triano. For information about the retreat and how to register, visit our web site: or email or call 989-855-2606.

Making it's first run for this year:
Uprising for Change: The Third Annual Gathering of Young Activists will be held
June 23-26, 2005, at The Leaven Center, in Lyons, between Lansing and Grand Rapids, Michigan. Uprising for Change is created by and for young people between the ages of 18 and 30 who have a passionate commitment to social justice. This annual event serves as a meeting place for a new generation of activists who work in a wide variety of social change movements including disability rights, feminism, LGBTQ rights, and racial, economic, and environmental justice.  For registration information, visit our web site: or email or call 989-855-2606.