(no subject)

 Hello All,

I am in recovery from a life of restricting, purging, overexcersing, and hating myself. For once in the 20 years of my life, I actually feel good about myself!

Anyways, I've started a blog- a different approach to thinking about ED recovery: with intellectual curiosity.

Please read, hope it helps, and comment if it does or doesn't!

You are all so brave for working on making your life worth living!

-Christina Pillsbury



 Hi everyone!
I had a livejournal years ago but am happy to be back, determined to find support on my path to recovery, and help others struggling with the same diseases/addictions/traumas. I will post tonight on my page a summary of my first step so those of you who want to can get to know me a little better. Thank you all for being here and looking forward to sharing my experiences, struggles, strengths, and hopes.


Hey. I'm not new to livejournal, but this journal is new. If that makes sense. :) Feel free to add me or whatever.


* Name: Stephanie
* Age: 16
* Location: Herts, UK 

* An explanation of your e.d.: I'd prefer not to go into it, but let's just say I've suffered with disordered eating for a long time
* How long have you had it?: Since I was around 12/13
* Have you been officially diagnosed?: As bulimic, yes.
* Have you been treated for it?: Treatment's getting sorted at the moment. :\
* Have you been hospitalized for it?: I was hospitalized before, but it was for a number of things. An ED was one of them though.
* Have you been "in recovery"?: I suppose I will be soon
* Do other people know?: Some people. It's not a secret, but I'm not exactly open about it.

* Any other mental illness?: Body dysmorphic disorder, depression
* Any medications?: Fluoxetine
* Any other "self-destructive habits" (like self-injury, substance abuse, etc)?: Self injury, smoking
* Are you in therapy?: I've been seeing various therapists since I was 12. At the moment I am

* Are you in school?: Yes, but only until May. Then off to college.
* What kind of music do you like?: I have a pretty broad taste... favourite bands though are the Subways, Hole, the Von Bondies, The White Stripes etc...
* What's your favorite color?: Red probably
* What's a hobby you have?: Singing, playing music, acting
* If you could live anywhere, where would it be? I don't know. Somewhere slightly more interesting than Watford!


  • Current Music
    Hole - Softer Softest

(no subject)

The Important Stuff
Weight: 115
Heighest Weight: 127
Lowest Weight: 102
Current Weight: 115
Goal Weight : 97
Fave food : I like Pizza a lot.
Fave Drink : Diet Coke.
Fave Exercise : Running.
Thinspo : Nicole Richie, Kiera Knightly, Kate Moss, Kate Bosworth.
Where do you slip up?When pressured to eat, I feel guilty
When did it start?The thoughts at like 14,15 but Ana at 16.
Why did it start?I hated how I looked. Wanted what I thought was perfect.
Does Anyone know?Yes
Do you want help?No.
Diet pills?I've used them all, I'm on none now.
fave binge food:Choco muffins, snack wraps, panera.
Fave dieting food:Apples.
How many cals do you consume a day?When in my anorexic mood, under 300. Normally under 650
What tips do you use to lose weight?dont eat
What do you see when you look in the mirror?ew.
Are you in a relationship?yes
If so, Do they pressure you to be thin?no
Are you the fat or thin one out of your friends?fat
Are you depressed?yes
Do you self harm?at times, it use to be bad, when i was 14 then stopped, ana brought it back
Ever tried to commit suicide?once
Ever been to a psychologist??yes
Fave song?World War Me



I was stuck
between a future
I couldn't reach
and a past
that's grip
I was to
afraid to leave
Iost in the shadow
of a struggle
I began to
losing myself
in the silence
that engulfed me