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Inbetween recovery and disorder..

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A motivational post :) [08 Apr 2011|06:40pm]

snowbab
Hi all! Here is a motivational post for any of you who are suffering from an eating disorder :) Anyone who is interested in the fight against size-zero modeling should also read this post! I hope that It helps anyone who needs it or who is willing to help :)

More information...Collapse )

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[25 Oct 2010|08:42am]

chrissypills
 Hello All,

I am in recovery from a life of restricting, purging, overexcersing, and hating myself. For once in the 20 years of my life, I actually feel good about myself!

Anyways, I've started a blog- a different approach to thinking about ED recovery: with intellectual curiosity.

Please read, hope it helps, and comment if it does or doesn't!

You are all so brave for working on making your life worth living!

-Christina Pillsbury

www.intellectualrecovery.com
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[15 Jul 2010|03:18am]

katarzhenya
newCollapse )
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Hi there... [10 May 2010|02:54am]

justmmy
I'm a lurker.  Oh I have it down to an art.  Haha!  But, I found an interesting link and wanted to post, so I joined. Finally. :)
Intro!Collapse )

hCG? Video and question.Collapse )
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New. [16 Nov 2008|05:52am]

nchloe
 Hi everyone!
I had a livejournal years ago but am happy to be back, determined to find support on my path to recovery, and help others struggling with the same diseases/addictions/traumas. I will post tonight on my page a summary of my first step so those of you who want to can get to know me a little better. Thank you all for being here and looking forward to sharing my experiences, struggles, strengths, and hopes.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Niki
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application [11 Apr 2007|07:12pm]

swallowtattoo
[ mood | geeky ]

Hey. I'm not new to livejournal, but this journal is new. If that makes sense. :) Feel free to add me or whatever.

Survey

BASICS
* Name: Stephanie
* Age: 16
* Location: Herts, UK 

EATING DISORDER
* An explanation of your e.d.: I'd prefer not to go into it, but let's just say I've suffered with disordered eating for a long time
* How long have you had it?: Since I was around 12/13
* Have you been officially diagnosed?: As bulimic, yes.
* Have you been treated for it?: Treatment's getting sorted at the moment. :\
* Have you been hospitalized for it?: I was hospitalized before, but it was for a number of things. An ED was one of them though.
* Have you been "in recovery"?: I suppose I will be soon
* Do other people know?: Some people. It's not a secret, but I'm not exactly open about it.

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH
* Any other mental illness?: Body dysmorphic disorder, depression
* Any medications?: Fluoxetine
* Any other "self-destructive habits" (like self-injury, substance abuse, etc)?: Self injury, smoking
* Are you in therapy?: I've been seeing various therapists since I was 12. At the moment I am

OTHER UNRELATED STUFF ABOUT YOU
* Are you in school?: Yes, but only until May. Then off to college.
* What kind of music do you like?: I have a pretty broad taste... favourite bands though are the Subways, Hole, the Von Bondies, The White Stripes etc...
* What's your favorite color?: Red probably
* What's a hobby you have?: Singing, playing music, acting
* If you could live anywhere, where would it be? I don't know. Somewhere slightly more interesting than Watford!

xx

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Survey Applicants Needed! [10 Apr 2007|07:14pm]

chandelier_life
[ mood | anxious ]

Hello loves.

I am doing a research report on the neurological and biological contributions to eating disorders and need to gether statistics. It would be greatly apprectiated if volunteers could fill out the information under the cut and e-mail it to goaskcloea@gmail.com



Thanks much!

-Cloea
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My story. [18 Feb 2007|12:04pm]

_falling_hard_
Turning Toward SilenceCollapse )
1 comment|post comment

[18 Feb 2007|12:44am]

_falling_hard_
The Important Stuff
Age:17
Weight: 115
Heighest Weight: 127
Lowest Weight: 102
Current Weight: 115
Goal Weight : 97
Fave food : I like Pizza a lot.
Fave Drink : Diet Coke.
Fave Exercise : Running.
Thinspo : Nicole Richie, Kiera Knightly, Kate Moss, Kate Bosworth.
Where do you slip up?When pressured to eat, I feel guilty
When did it start?The thoughts at like 14,15 but Ana at 16.
Why did it start?I hated how I looked. Wanted what I thought was perfect.
Does Anyone know?Yes
Do you want help?No.
Diet pills?I've used them all, I'm on none now.
fave binge food:Choco muffins, snack wraps, panera.
Fave dieting food:Apples.
How many cals do you consume a day?When in my anorexic mood, under 300. Normally under 650
What tips do you use to lose weight?dont eat
What do you see when you look in the mirror?ew.
Are you in a relationship?yes
If so, Do they pressure you to be thin?no
Are you the fat or thin one out of your friends?fat
Are you depressed?yes
Do you self harm?at times, it use to be bad, when i was 14 then stopped, ana brought it back
Ever tried to commit suicide?once
Ever been to a psychologist??yes
Fave song?World War Me

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
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... [16 Feb 2007|10:53pm]

_falling_hard_
I was stuck
between a future
I couldn't reach
and a past
that's grip
I was to
afraid to leave
Iost in the shadow
of a struggle
I began to
disappear
losing myself
in the silence
that engulfed me
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Ok..Here we go. [16 Feb 2007|03:38pm]

_falling_hard_
BASICS
* Name: Kristi
* Age: 17
* Location: My home

EATING DISORDER
* An explanation of your e.d.:Anorexic, with bulimic tendencies
* How long have you had it?: 2 years
* Have you been officially diagnosed?: yes
* Have you been treated for it?: attempted
* Have you been hospitalized for it?: sort of, but not really
* Have you been "in recovery"?: I have tried.
* Do other people know?: Yes.

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH
* Any other mental illness?: Anxiety and OCD
* Any medications?: None.
* Any other "self-destructive habits" (like self-injury, substance abuse, etc)?: I use to (SI) not so much now.
* Are you in therapy?: No, i just left about a few weeks ago.

OTHER UNRELATED STUFF ABOUT YOU
* Are you in school?: Highschool
* What kind of music do you like?: Punk, indie, emo, screamo
* What's your favorite color?: Black
* What's a hobby you have?: I love to write and run
* If you could live anywhere, where would it be? I would be somewhere where I didn't have to worry.


...

I'm new. I've been joining communities lately in hopes to find support to recover. I find myself close to recovery only to slip back into the grip of my eating disorder. The truth is I'm tired of the pain it causes, but also afraid of what recovery means. I'm not sure I can give up my ed and recovery terrifies me. I'm stuck within a cycle where I try to eat normally and gain weight. then i look in the mirror and see what I've become the guilt sends my spirling out of control for a while, then once again i start to get better, only to fall back in.
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Survey [28 Jan 2007|12:19am]

delanie_rose_86
BASICS
* Name: lanie
* Age: 20
* Location: hell

EATING DISORDER
* An explanation of your e.d.: bulimia with anorexic tendancies, exercise bulimia, ed-nos
* How long have you had it?: 7 years
* Have you been officially diagnosed?: yes
* Have you been treated for it?: attempted
* Have you been hospitalized for it?: sort of, mostly for other reasons though
* Have you been "in recovery"?: tried
* Do other people know?: very few- parents, a few friends, ex-fiancee

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH
* Any other mental illness?: bipolar, mild ocd, anxiety
* Any medications?: nothing i'll take
* Any other "self-destructive habits" (like self-injury, substance abuse, etc)?: yes actually, si. shocker, i know.
* Are you in therapy?: yes and no. i have a therapist. but i'm never sure if i'm going to go back or not

OTHER UNRELATED STUFF ABOUT YOU
* Are you in school?: yup, college
* What kind of music do you like?: everything- not a lot of rap or polka, but most everything else
* What's your favorite color?: green, then blue, then black
* What's a hobby you have?: i love photography, books, music, i do have a little boy who takes up most of my energy, i guess he's not a "hobby" per say, just my reason for getting up in the morning
* If you could live anywhere, where would it be? anywhere but here. is that enough? somewhere warm, exotic, with friendly people
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'tis faif [14 Dec 2006|04:27pm]

xxaikonaxx
BASICS
* Name: Faith
* Age: 17
* Location: Norcal

EATING DISORDER
* An explanation of your e.d.: ednos, i guess super-restricting mia
* How long have you had it?: about a year and a half
* Have you been officially diagnosed?: no
* Have you been treated for it?: sort of
* Have you been hospitalized for it?: no
* Have you been "in recovery"?: yes
* Do other people know?: my parents. and my best friend

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH
* Any other mental illness?: nope, maybe depression
* Any medications?: nooo
* Any other "self-destructive habits" (like self-injury, substance abuse, etc)?: no
* Are you in therapy?: not yet

OTHER UNRELATED STUFF ABOUT YOU
* Are you in school?: chyaa, im a junior in high school
* What kind of music do you like?: everything from country to jazz to rap, my friend
* What's your favorite color?: pink
* What's a hobby you have?: i <3 stage crew
* If you could live anywhere, where would it be? i actually like where i live, right near ssan francisco but in a more suburby area. where i wont get jumped.
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Survey [05 Sep 2006|12:08am]

brianalayn
BASICS
* Name: Briana
* Age: 19
* Location: New York

EATING DISORDER
* An explanation of your e.d.: most correctly diagnosed EDNOS, binge/purge/restrict/fast/exercise/binge etc.
* How long have you had it?: 9 years.. starting at 10
* Have you been officially diagnosed?: yes
* Have you been treated for it?: in the process
* Have you been hospitalized for it?: no
* Have you been "in recovery"?: presently, and a few times before
* Do other people know?: yes. mom, doctors, friends, boyfriend

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH
* Any other mental illness?: depression, possible schiz/add
* Any medications?: b/c
* Any other "self-destructive habits" (like self-injury, substance abuse, etc)?: cut through middle school, drugs from time to time
* Are you in therapy?: just for my eating problems

OTHER UNRELATED STUFF ABOUT YOU
* Are you in school?: community college
* What kind of music do you like?: crazy shit
* What's your favorite color?: green
* What's a hobby you have?: art
* If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Ireland
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[06 Jun 2006|01:11am]

elne

so hi inbetween girls!
so glad i have somewhere to post these kinds of entries!
i am kind of sucking at the moment. im not eating properly and i really want to lose weight because i miss the old skinny me. i hate the extra 'padding' i have developed. also, im not getting very hungry at the moment. which doesnt help the eating side of things along. yesterday i ate one bowl of special k, then i broke up with my bf and needless to say i didnt eat anything more (i lose my appetite when im upset). today i have eaten one wholemeal dinner roll, half a fat free yoghurt and three pickles. the pickles were eaten because i love pickles and i wanted some before my brother ate them all, rather than because i was hungry, also they are like 10 cals each so there isnt too much guilt associated with them. the yoghurt was because it was 2pm and i hadn't eaten yet, but i wasnt hungry and i cant get over the mindset that it is wrong and evil and pointless calories to eat when im not hungry. the roll was because i was hungry, and i was pissed i ate it because i ate it after 5pm, at 9pm. i got on the scales this morning and i was 44.5kg, but i got on them this afternoon and i was 45.5kg. i have resolved only to weigh myself in the mornings. lol.
on the weekend i ate hungry jacks; whopper jnr, small fries and medium shake. it was with friends at around 11:30pm. i think i'm still feeling guilty about it. i can't wait until this weekend, then perhaps i will be far away in time enough from the offending meal to stop feeling bad. so fucking stupid that i feel guilty over something that used to be such a wonderful special treat to me. i miss being a kid. so much.
i am not fat i am not fat i am not fat i am not fat ...yes, i am. fuck. i hate the way i look right now. i miss being small.
it's hard to make myself eat when i don't have an appetite, feel miserable, and want to lose weight.
shopping today i made mum buy me crunchola, fat free low-sugar yoghurts, fat free soymilk, splenda, tuna, and lite chicken loaf slices. she obliged because she always does, whatever i want in the trolley i get. luckily my sister only made a few snidey remarks about the soymilk, i don't think she noticed the yoghurts. i think mum prefers to indulge me in special foods and diet products because at least then im eating. but my sister gets snarky and bitchy and calls me 'weird'. 
i've been trying to act like things are normal with me to my mum, mentioning how iv been eating all this junk food and pretending to crave junk food i see on tv. but really i couldn't think of anything worse. i have a packet of cheetos and a milkybar in my room, i'm not touching them. i don't want them, im not even tempted.
i should go to bed, im not sleeping eating or drinking right at the moment. i will try to rectify the sleeping and drinking. eating...humph.

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[26 May 2006|04:51pm]

thefrenchqueen
Survey

BASICS
* Name: For all intensive purposes Charlotte
* Age: 18
* Location: NY,NY

EATING DISORDER
* An explanation of your e.d.: started ana, then became a binge eater, then bulimic diagnosed restricting Bulimic
* How long have you had it?: all that fun happend within the span of 3 years
* Have you been officially diagnosed?:yup
* Have you been treated for it?:somewhat before quitting, they don't take bulimia that seriously so you can quite pretty easily
* Have you been hospitalized for it?: nope
* Have you been "in recovery"?: yes but not like in a hospital or anything, just like a program
* Do other people know?: yup a few by now, my 2 best friends at home and a few girls i met at school who had ed's

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH
* Any other mental illness?: Hmmm... never diagnosed but it's highly possible
* Any medications?: nope
* Any other "self-destructive habits" (like self-injury, substance abuse, etc)?: cutting and burning since I was 11, hardcore for like 4 years then stopped for like 1 year but do it sporadically still
* Are you in therapy?: NOOOO

OTHER UNRELATED STUFF ABOUT YOU
* Are you in school?: Yup, college
* What kind of music do you like?: hmmm this is hard so i will just post some bands i like
1.Queen
2.Nirvana
3.The Clash
4.We are scientist
5.Incubus
6.The Won Bondies
7.The Used
8.Brand New
I think this represents my music taste pretty well. it spans many genres
* What's your favorite color?: either grey, or a greyish blue
* What's a hobby you have?: writing, drawing
* If you could live anywhere, where would it be? NEW YORK, NEW YORK , so i guess i'm pretty lucky
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so tired [22 May 2006|01:57am]
roxyrun
Survey

BASICS
* Name: Ann
* Age: 20
* Location: super small town

EATING DISORDER
* An explanation of your e.d.: started with anorexia and moved to binging and purging and then binging and fasting.
* How long have you had it?: 4 years
* Have you been officially diagnosed?: no
* Have you been treated for it?: in couseling for the past year
* Have you been hospitalized for it?: no
* Have you been "in recovery"?: i was for about a month, then recently had a few terrible binges. im trying to get back on track.
* Do other people know?: yes, but they think that it was a problem i got over. they do not know that i still suffer with it.

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH
* Any other mental illness?: if perfectionism is a mental illness i would have it.
* Any medications?: no, just vitamins and calcium/vitamin D pills
* Any other "self-destructive habits" (like self-injury, substance abuse, etc)?: substance abuse on occasion, more so recently though. and i have thought about self-injury many times.
* Are you in therapy?: yes

OTHER UNRELATED STUFF ABOUT YOU
* Are you in school?: yes, going into my 3rd year at college
* What kind of music do you like?: currently softer tunes: deathcab, jewel, shins,
* What's your favorite color?: turquoise and black
* What's a hobby you have?: coloring and painting
* If you could live anywhere, where would it be? in the country, maybe on a farm (away from everyone)
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survey [16 May 2006|12:26am]

yoot_faari
Read more...Collapse )
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[01 May 2006|10:31pm]

just_noticeable
Survey

BASICS
* Name:
Emily
* Age: 17
* Location: Australia

EATING DISORDER
* An explanation of your e.d.:
I am a recovered/relapsing Anorexic who I guess you could put into the catagory of EDNOS seeing as at the moment I do not fit the full criteria for Anorexia.
* How long have you had it?:  over 5 years now
* Have you been officially diagnosed?: yes
* Have you been treated for it?: yes
* Have you been hospitalized for it?: yes
* Have you been "in recovery"?: that is where i am supposed to be right now
* Do other people know?: yes... though I don't talk about it... they just know because of talk and because of my hospitalisations etc.

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH
* Any other mental illness?:
I have kinda self diagnosed myself with Bipolar... I know I should get properly assessed but I fit the criteria perfectly and my last psychologist suggested it but I told her I was not there to discuss anything like that and didn't want her bringing it up again.
* Any medications?:  Not right now. Other then a stack of minerals and multi's.
* Any other "self-destructive habits" (like self-injury, substance abuse, etc)?: I used to self injure when I was younger but after one really nasty cut and a burn I had to be treated for I kinda forced myself to stop. I still struggle with it but I value my skin so much more now then I did.
* Are you in therapy?:  Not right now. I still see my therapist from time to time but I was just getting really drained from all the intensive therapy and decided I needed a break.

OTHER UNRELATED STUFF ABOUT YOU
* Are you in school?: 
Yes... I am doing my final year of high school... year 12.
* What kind of music do you like?: I don't have a particular genre I like... I like specific songs more so then I like a particular band.
* What's your favorite color?:  Green
* What's a hobby you have?: I'm a long distance runner.
* If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Milan or France
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avalanche was sullen and too thin... [25 Apr 2006|07:51pm]

yellow__crayon
[ mood | ugly ]

BASICS
* Name: Kitty
* Age: 15
* Location: Savannah, Georgia

EATING DISORDER
* An explanation of your e.d.: What do you mean? Umm, I'm pretty much bulimic with anorexic tendencies, if thats what you are asking.
* How long have you had it?: a year and a half.
* Have you been officially diagnosed?: yes.
* Have you been treated for it?: yes.
* Have you been hospitalized for it?: no.
* Have you been "in recovery"?: yes.
* Do other people know?: yeah.

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH
* Any other mental illness?: depression, OCD, seperation anxiety, dematillamania, ADD.
* Any medications?: Prozac
* Any other "self-destructive habits" (like self-injury, substance abuse, etc)?: cutting since 7th grade, burning, and scratching & picking at my skin.
* Are you in therapy?: Yup.

OTHER UNRELATED STUFF ABOUT YOU
* Are you in school?: Yeah. An all-girls catholic one, at that. Breeding ground for ED's.
* What kind of music do you like?: Tegan and Sara, X-ray Spex, The Horrorpops, Scarling, The Nipple Erectors, Fiona Apple, Ani Difranco.... I have a very versatile taste in music.
* What's your favorite color?: Purple, maybe? I'm not sure, it changes alot. I really like pink. I also like red...
* What's a hobby you have?: I go to punk shows, design clothes, write poetry, and dance around the park in faerie wings.
* If you could live anywhere, where would it be? L.A. or NYC.

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