swallowtattoo

Hey. I'm not new to livejournal, but this journal is new. If that makes sense. :) Feel free to add me or whatever.

Survey

BASICS
* Name: Stephanie
* Age: 16
* Location: Herts, UK 

EATING DISORDER
* An explanation of your e.d.: I'd prefer not to go into it, but let's just say I've suffered with disordered eating for a long time
* How long have you had it?: Since I was around 12/13
* Have you been officially diagnosed?: As bulimic, yes.
* Have you been treated for it?: Treatment's getting sorted at the moment. :\
* Have you been hospitalized for it?: I was hospitalized before, but it was for a number of things. An ED was one of them though.
* Have you been "in recovery"?: I suppose I will be soon
* Do other people know?: Some people. It's not a secret, but I'm not exactly open about it.

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH
* Any other mental illness?: Body dysmorphic disorder, depression
* Any medications?: Fluoxetine
* Any other "self-destructive habits" (like self-injury, substance abuse, etc)?: Self injury, smoking
* Are you in therapy?: I've been seeing various therapists since I was 12. At the moment I am

OTHER UNRELATED STUFF ABOUT YOU
* Are you in school?: Yes, but only until May. Then off to college.
* What kind of music do you like?: I have a pretty broad taste... favourite bands though are the Subways, Hole, the Von Bondies, The White Stripes etc...
* What's your favorite color?: Red probably
* What's a hobby you have?: Singing, playing music, acting
* If you could live anywhere, where would it be? I don't know. Somewhere slightly more interesting than Watford!

xx

chandelier_life

[

mood

|

anxious

]

Hello loves.

I am doing a research report on the neurological and biological contributions to eating disorders and need to gether statistics. It would be greatly apprectiated if volunteers could fill out the information under the cut and e-mail it to goaskcloea@gmail.com

elne

so hi inbetween girls!
so glad i have somewhere to post these kinds of entries!
i am kind of sucking at the moment. im not eating properly and i really want to lose weight because i miss the old skinny me. i hate the extra 'padding' i have developed. also, im not getting very hungry at the moment. which doesnt help the eating side of things along. yesterday i ate one bowl of special k, then i broke up with my bf and needless to say i didnt eat anything more (i lose my appetite when im upset). today i have eaten one wholemeal dinner roll, half a fat free yoghurt and three pickles. the pickles were eaten because i love pickles and i wanted some before my brother ate them all, rather than because i was hungry, also they are like 10 cals each so there isnt too much guilt associated with them. the yoghurt was because it was 2pm and i hadn't eaten yet, but i wasnt hungry and i cant get over the mindset that it is wrong and evil and pointless calories to eat when im not hungry. the roll was because i was hungry, and i was pissed i ate it because i ate it after 5pm, at 9pm. i got on the scales this morning and i was 44.5kg, but i got on them this afternoon and i was 45.5kg. i have resolved only to weigh myself in the mornings. lol.
on the weekend i ate hungry jacks; whopper jnr, small fries and medium shake. it was with friends at around 11:30pm. i think i'm still feeling guilty about it. i can't wait until this weekend, then perhaps i will be far away in time enough from the offending meal to stop feeling bad. so fucking stupid that i feel guilty over something that used to be such a wonderful special treat to me. i miss being a kid. so much.
i am not fat i am not fat i am not fat i am not fat ...yes, i am. fuck. i hate the way i look right now. i miss being small.
it's hard to make myself eat when i don't have an appetite, feel miserable, and want to lose weight.
shopping today i made mum buy me crunchola, fat free low-sugar yoghurts, fat free soymilk, splenda, tuna, and lite chicken loaf slices. she obliged because she always does, whatever i want in the trolley i get. luckily my sister only made a few snidey remarks about the soymilk, i don't think she noticed the yoghurts. i think mum prefers to indulge me in special foods and diet products because at least then im eating. but my sister gets snarky and bitchy and calls me 'weird'. 
i've been trying to act like things are normal with me to my mum, mentioning how iv been eating all this junk food and pretending to crave junk food i see on tv. but really i couldn't think of anything worse. i have a packet of cheetos and a milkybar in my room, i'm not touching them. i don't want them, im not even tempted.
i should go to bed, im not sleeping eating or drinking right at the moment. i will try to rectify the sleeping and drinking. eating...humph.

yellow__crayon

BASICS
* Name: Kitty
* Age: 15
* Location: Savannah, Georgia

EATING DISORDER
* An explanation of your e.d.: What do you mean? Umm, I'm pretty much bulimic with anorexic tendencies, if thats what you are asking.
* How long have you had it?: a year and a half.
* Have you been officially diagnosed?: yes.
* Have you been treated for it?: yes.
* Have you been hospitalized for it?: no.
* Have you been "in recovery"?: yes.
* Do other people know?: yeah.

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH
* Any other mental illness?: depression, OCD, seperation anxiety, dematillamania, ADD.
* Any medications?: Prozac
* Any other "self-destructive habits" (like self-injury, substance abuse, etc)?: cutting since 7th grade, burning, and scratching & picking at my skin.
* Are you in therapy?: Yup.

OTHER UNRELATED STUFF ABOUT YOU
* Are you in school?: Yeah. An all-girls catholic one, at that. Breeding ground for ED's.
* What kind of music do you like?: Tegan and Sara, X-ray Spex, The Horrorpops, Scarling, The Nipple Erectors, Fiona Apple, Ani Difranco.... I have a very versatile taste in music.
* What's your favorite color?: Purple, maybe? I'm not sure, it changes alot. I really like pink. I also like red...
* What's a hobby you have?: I go to punk shows, design clothes, write poetry, and dance around the park in faerie wings.
* If you could live anywhere, where would it be? L.A. or NYC.