in the men's room at the track this boy of about 7 or 8 years old came out of a stall and the man waiting for him (probably his father) asked, "what did you do with the racing program? I gave it to you to keep." "no," said the boy, "I ain't seen it! I don't have it!"
they walked off and I went into the stall because it was the only one available and there in the toilet was the program.
I tried to flush the program away but it just swam sluggishly about and remained.
I got out of there and found another empty stall.
that boy was ready for his life to come, he would undoubtedly be highly successful, the lying little prick.
I re-read, too, the Lucretius that I copied in Notebook #4-- "Life lives on... It is the lives, the lives, the lives, that die."
It is good for me to periodically re-read the notebooks that have preceded this-- I note this, written last Christmas day: And knowing that I do not possess the outlet, some daemon nevertheless torments me-- brims me with pain and fury-- with fear and trembling-- (wrenched, wracked I am-- most wretched): my mind mastered by spasms of uncontrollable desire--
I have come very far since then-- learning how to "let go"-- how to possess a moment more fully, more widely-- accepting my self, aye, rejoicing in my self--
The really important thing is not to reject anything-- When I think how I wavered about actually coming up to Cal! That I actually considered not accepting this new experience! How disastrous (although I would have never known!) that would have been--
I'll really known what to do in Chicago when I get there-- I'll begin right by going out and grabbing at experience, not waiting for it to come to me-- I can do that now because the Great Barrier is down-- the feeling of sanctity about my body-- I have always been full of lust-- as I am now-- but I have always been placing conceptual obstacles in my own path... Secretly, I have always realized my unlimited passionateness, but no outlet seemed patterned or proper enough--
I know now the capability of experiencing the greatest pleasure on a purely physical basis, sans "mental companionship," etc., although, of course, that is to be desired, too...
Irene came very close to ruining me-- congealing the incipient guilt I have always felt about my lesbianism-- making me ugly to myself--
I know the truth now-- I know how good and right it is to love-- I have, in some part, been given permission to live--
a great white light dawns across the continent as we fawn over our failed traditions, often kill to preserve them or sometimes kill just to kill. it doesn't seem to matter: the answers dangle just out of reach, out of hand, out of mind.
the leaders of the past were insufficient, the leaders of the present are unprepared. we curl up tightly in our beds at night and wait. it is a waiting without hope, more like a prayer for unmerited grace.
it all looks more and more like the same old movie. the actors are different but the plots the same: senseless.
we should have known, watching our fathers. we should have known, watching our mothers. they did not know, they too were not prepared to teach. we were too naive to ignore their counsel and now we have embraced their ignorance as our own. we are them, multiplied. we are their unpaid debts. we are bankrupt in money and in spirit.
there are a few exceptions, of course, but these teeter on the edge and will at any moment tumble down to join the rest of us, the raving, the battered, the blind and the sadly corrupt.
a great white light dawns across the continent, the flowers open blindly in the stinking wind, as grotesque and ultimately unlivable our 21st century struggles to be born.
The greyhound track in Plainfield, CT voted on April 26th that they would discontinue greyhound racing. Unfortunately - and heartbreakingly - they've also decided that rescuers have only two weeks to get the dogs out, and any dogs remaining at the track on May 14th will be euthanized. This is a monumental task because there are at least 500 dogs currently at the track. These are all young, healthy dogs, 2-4 years of age, who would make great family pets.
Why is the track doing this? Greyhound racing is a business and because the track is no longer profitable, they're getting out. To us, dogs are cherished companions. To the greyhound racing industry, dogs are expendable commodities to be disposed of in whatever way is least expensive and most convenient when they aren't making money.
We've committed to saving as many dogs as we possibly can in the next two weeks. We'll be working with an experienced greyhound rescuer who has been placing retired greyhounds for many years. She will be going to the track and bringing us dogs. As soon as we have more room, we'll do it again. We will repeat as many times as we can before May 14th. After May 14th, there will be no dogs left alive at the track.
In order to save as many dogs as we can, we are going to try something we've never done before; sending as many as possible out into foster care by May 14th. Every time we send a dog into an adoptive home or a foster home, we can take another dog off the track. We will take the fostered dogs back into the Dakin Animal Shelter for adoption over the next few months as spaces open up for them - as long as they're off the track by May 14th, they'll be safe.
I've volunteered to transport dogs and recruit foster and adoptive families. As many foster families as possible are needed to get the dogs off the track by the 14th.
PLEASE repost this anywhere and everywhere, forward it to all your friends and coworkers, scream it from the rooftops, etc. I know there have got to be 500 people in the area who could take a dog for a few months, if not for a lifetime. We only have a few weeks. Please help the dogs!
Hey guys. A friend of mine who attends Evergreen State University is doing a senior project about food. She is a fabulous artist and wonderful person, though not so connected on the internet community, so she asked me to plug her!
My friend is looking for people all over the world to spend one week writing down and taking a picture of everything they eat. She then needs the person to either e-mail her the photos (digital or scanned are both fine) or ship her the prints ASAP. She needs this to be done within the next couple of weeks. She already has enough people in the United States.
If you want to join in on this fun project and either have a digital camera or scanner or wouldn't mind paying for developing and shipping the pics, please e-mail me at triangular at hotmail dot com and I'll hook you up.
(x-posted lots of places, and feel free to spread it wherever)
dear _______: excuse me for maybe sounding dumb, but what is your purpose? are you just a place for people to talk about whatever is important to them? because that would be neat.
Posters of Stephen Kasner's paintings "Crucifix" and "Woman with Arm" are now available through the website: www.Circle-9.com.
Designed by Kasner with Circle 9, this open edition of 18 x 24 posters is printed on pearl, "Shine" Reichpaper. The paper, chosen for its metallic qualities, lends itself nicely to reproducing these particular images.
Circle 9 will be offering posters, limited edition prints & original works by a select group of artists, through an online gallery and store. If you have any questions about Circle 9, their services or any of the artists they are currently working with, please feel free to contact Circle 9 at info@circle-9.com.
hopeful
helpfull