Current mood:	tired
Entry tags:	sex69sex

Karyu and Zero column
I typed this up for some people on Batsu.org. I figured it would be easier to just post his here since I’m sure some people here wanted to see it too ^^

I got this a long time ago from a site (which is down now). I printed it out. It’s suppose to be a column Karyu and Zero did for a while, translated ^^

NOTE: Everything is typed exactly like in the pages I printed out (that’s why there’s small notes in the column and such) ^^;;



+ sex69sex Vol.1 +

Hello. It’s D’espairsRay’s guitarist, Karyu, and bassist, Zero. Since this is the first time we’ve done this we don’t know what we should write, so for the time being we’ll talk about the recording for “genwaku” which was released on April 1st.

Z: First of all, what did you work hard on in recording?
K: I guess it was erotic fantasies.
Z: Erotic fantasies?
K: Yeah, erotic fantasies.
Z: What kind?
K: I can’t say.
Z: Why?
K: They’re too nasty
Z: You were thinking about that kinda stuff when you were playing?
K: Of course. I always do.
Z: Always? You mean at concerts and stuff too?
K: No. Everyday, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year without a break.
Z: You’re like a perverted convenience store.
K: Yep. If possible, I’d like to be a Seven-Eleven.
Z: Oh, you’ve already decided? But don’t you think that 6 and 9 is a better combination for you than 7 and 11?
K: (singing) Six-nine, it sounds good.
K, Z: (burst out laughing)
Z: We’ve gradually gotten further and further from talking about the CD recording.
K: It’s okay, isn’t it?
Z:: It’s okay, but, returning to the topic, what was most fun about recording?
K: Well, we’re ending this time here.
Z: What? We’re ending it here?
K: We’re ending it here. From the next time on out I want to reply to everyone’s questions and concerns, so if you have anything like that, please send it to us.
Z: Is it anything goes?
K: Yep. From personal gossip to serious concerns I want to address a broad range of things.
Z: Well, it seems like that’s how it’s going to be, so please send your comments.
K: Thank you all for reading until the end.
Z: Yes, Thank you.
K: To all of you who have not seen us live, please try to come to see us one time.
Z: And feast you eyes on Karyu’s perversion.
K: Please read again next time.
Z, K: Well then, see you next time.

…

Z: So what do we do now?
K: You should know! What else is there to do?
(So saying, Karyu turns off the lights)

+ sex69sex Vol.2 +

K: So is everyone doing it?
Z: Yeah! I’m doing it!
K: Doing what?
Z: …
K: I’m doing it… making songs.
Z: You’re not makin’ babies?
K: No, no. I have become a delusional EGOTIST, though. (note: delusional EGOTIST= mousouhekina EGOTIST). What about you?
Z: I’m as the title says.
K: …
Z: Say something, damn it!
K: (like a mom) I don’t remember bringing you up to be that kind of person.
Tsukasa: Nor do I!
Z: It was a joke!
Hizumi: Everyone, give him some credit.
K: Hey, was there someone here a second ago?
Z: Is this a four person dialogue this time?
K: No, it’s two people!
Z: Well should we talk about something serious?
K: (like a kitsune) SEX!
Z: Hey!
K: (like a kitsune) Re~lax!
Z: Hey!!
K: PA-OON! (like an elephant)
Z: Get your butt back in the forest! (getting angry)
K: Pa-oon… (sadly)
Z: Well, what should we talk about?
K: Gomugomu no-----------------------------------------
(Karyu reaches his hand out to Zero’s thing)

[I]Reference to the manga OnePiece note: The main character of OnePiece is made of rubber and he uses a series of phrases which begin with “gomugomu no” when he wants to extend part of his body.[/I]

---And the lights in the room dim…

Z: Should we be doing this? (uncertainly)
K: It’s fine. Is it good here?
Z: [I]There[/I] would be better. <3
K: Hey!
Z: I was just playing along.
K: Shall we talk about something serious? (seriously)
Z: Well, what kind of image did you have in mind when you wrote the songs on the new album?
K: I tried creating it with myself as the subject.
Z: Really? Well then I hope that everyone will get that kind of feeling from it.
K: Everyone, innocent kids and dirty guys like me.
Z: We don’t know what the lyrics are going to be, though.
K: Well there are times when the impression I get when I write the songs and listen to them is different from the impression the other members get when they listen to the songs.
Z: After all, I think that when there is a difference in values, there will be a difference in the way people hear something. Because of that, D’espairsRay always has a concept for a recording to create unity.
K: Yeah. For “Genwaku” it was drag.
Z: And this time…
K: Beautiful women and wild animals! To a certain extent, the meaning of D’espairsRay.
Z: Although, the interpretation of beautiful women and wild animals is different from song to song.
K: I don’t think that listening to and writing about beautiful women and wild animals is very cool but the inner-part is deep.
Z: How many centimeters deep?
K: I guess it’s about American size. (note: The hugest size in Japan is American size.)
Z: So it’s wide and deep?
K: Yeah. “A woman’s heart is a deep ocean of secrets.” (According to the old woman in ‘Titanic’.)
Z: The next mini-album is that good.
K: Our old song, Ao, is on it too.
Z: Ao!?
K: Yeah, Ao! (Not really smiling.)
Z: That’s right. We asked for questions, but have any come?
K: I looked at them.
Z: What were they about?
K: If you understand the difference between Sokenbicha (note: a brand of tea) and namacha (another type of tea), do you understand the taste difference between beer and happoushu (a type of homemade alcohol similar to beer)?
Z: Please don’t send meaningless questions like this.
K: Please send lots of questions like this.
Z: …
K: PA-OON! (an elephant)
Z: You got a lotta energy today, don’t you?
K: PAPAPA-OOON!! (wild animal)

So, today, they turned off the lights and Karyu became a wild animal of the night and began attacking Zero.

T: I can hear something far away
K, Z: PA-OON!
T, H: Well then let’s go PA-OON, too!

And in this way, D’espairsRay worked hard as a band.

+ sex69sex Vol.3 +

K: Hello. Pa-oon! It’s Karyu.
Z: (laugh) Hello. I’m the bassist, Zero. We’re attacking this pretty suddenly aren’t we?
K: Yeah. Because it’s summer. I feel like I want to go with a bang. Or something like that.
Z: Something like that?
K: Forget about that. More importantly, our first question came.
Z: Really? What is it? What is it?
K: They said, “Please tell us about a dish you like at a certain restaurant.”
Z: Hmm… Do you have recommendation?
K: I do. Option #4 at Freaks restaurant.
Z: “With pleasure…” Hay, no one knows what we’re talking about yet!
K: Oh, they don’t know.
Z: Well they’ll just have to look forward to that in the future.
K: So did you have recommendation?
T: I like the Koga-style tako-yaki (octopus balls) they have in Sankaku Park in Osaka.
K: Hey! Don’t just barge in.
H: I like the Myoutaishi meal in Ippudo.
Z: Everyone’s just barging in lately.
K: Yeah. I’ll just hand it over for now.
Z: Hey! Don’t hand it over.
K: You’re going to die for saying that.
Z: …I’m going off to die.
K: See ya when you get back.
Z: That’s enough of that.
K: Farewell…

*

Z: Okay, lets get back to point and talk about the mini-album, -TERRORS- we are releasing on 7/21.
K: We’ll start off with the first song, Ao.
Z: Yep, it’s Ao.
K: Yep, Ao.
Z: We did this song a long time ago.
K: Well, then the second song is Mebius.
Z: Hey, don’t run off alone. Besides which, there’s no song called Mebius.
K: Yes there is!
Z: Eh? I don’t remember playing it.
K: fufu (laughs)… Nope.
Z: Did you use a substitute?
K: …
Z: Say something!
K: The third song is Sakura.
Z: Pretty soon people are going to start realizing that you’re lying.
K: Okay, well then let’s be serious.
Z: Yeah. The first song is Fascism!
K: This is a really energetic song.
Z: Please go crazy when we play it live.
K: The second song is Carnival.
Z: We played it before (6/29).
K: Yeah, we had a little trouble.
Z: Besides which Karyu didn’t come in right.
K: Seriously, I messted-upped
Z: Messted-upped? (laughs)
K: It’s a Scottish word.
Z: And the third song is ero:de.
K: This song is focused on a feeling of tension
Z: The B melody is especially good.
K: There’s a menacing sense of dread. But we used it.
Z: (laugh)
K: The fourth song is Zetsubou romance.
Z: The A melody is nice.
K: It is nice. But I like the elegant simplicity of the end. How will the fans hear it, I wonder?
Z: Yeah. I hear that like a normal person.
K: Take out ooo. (singing)
Z: (laughs)… You’re wrong.
K: And then the last song is murder freaks!
Z: This is a really cool song.
K: It kicks ass! After all, I wrote it.
Z: I’ll leave that to you. Oh, we played this song too (on 6/29).
K: It was the first song. Please tell us what you think about it.
Z: Yeah! I want to ask them about it. I don’t suppose we’ll start selling it early…
K: We will have a special pre-release sale at the show on 7/19 so please come to see us.
Z: And please come to the tour as well.
K: Well shall we end it here for now?
Z: Yeah. After we each make a quick comment.
K: Well then, my comment. I love you all.
Z: We are releasing a mini-album this summer and then we have a nine stop tour and are trying to set up a oneman for the finale so please support us everyone.
K: Well then, we’ll see you next time. Please look forward to it.
Z: Yes, please look forward to it. Well, what should we do next time?
K: We don’t need to think about that kind of thing right now. Right now we should be thinking about…

So saying Karyu turns off the lights

*

K: Pa-oon!!! To be continued…

+ sex69sex Vol.4 +

Z: Welcome. Will you be alone this evening?
K: For the moment, but someone will probably catch my eye.
Z: Today’s menu is the question corner.
K: N’kay
Z: Very well.
K,Z: Well, please look forward to this. (Note: The above was a paraphrasing of the introduction to Sexual Beast.)
K: First of all, there aren’t any questions coming in so please ask them.
Z: We’re sad that no one will send them to us. So what are your questions?
K: Is anyone even reading this column?
Z: Because no one sends questions, we don’t know.
K: We want to do this column like “guigui”.
Z: What are you talking about “guigui”?
K: It’s an okare-mon. No it’s a Karyu-mon. (from “Mecha lke”) (Note: Mecha lke is a comedy show and an okare-mon is a lemon chiffon cake that is featured in the show.)
Z: Okay.
K: Yep, that’s what it is. Well, lets do the question corner or something.
Z: We’ll do it like “guigui”.
K: WAAAAaaaaaaaaah! We’re getting all guigui. We’re getting all guigui.
Z: Well, we had a vacation recently. What did you do?
K: I rented videos and did nothing but watched them.
Z: What was it this time? The Bikini Girls of Summer? You rented that before didn’t you?
K: Hey! Don’t say that kinda thing here! You jealous?
Z: Well, lets turn it into Loincloth Zero of Summer.
K: No thanks.
Z: Anyways, what did you rent?
K: I didn’t rent porn, for a change.
Z: What did you rent?
K: ‘Tobu Chris’, ‘Rurouni Kenshin’, western horror flicks, sentimental stuff, a lot of different things.
Z: What happened when you watched the sentimental stuff?
K: I was like “pa-oon”.
Z: You didn’t cry?
K: I wept like “pu pu pu pu”
Z: I get like “zubu bu bu bu”
K: That’s nasty.
Z: You didn’t notice?
K: No, I noticed, but when you write it down it’s really nasty.
Z: It’s because I’m healthy.
K: Lets stop with this stuff. We’re getting off topic.
Z: Okay, lets stop.
K: What did you do over the vacation?
Z: I went shopping in Paris.
K: No way.
H: No way.
K: Yeah, there’s no way.
Z: It’s true ;-;
K: Oh, I’m so sorry. (like a kitsune) I guess you had some business there.
Z: Believe me, damnit.
K: It’s darn loud in this kitchen.
Z: Sorry, I lied.
K: Let’s relax.
T: Relax! Relax!
Z: It’s become four person again.
K: No, I told you before, it’s supposed to be two person.
T: Yeah.
K: Yeah.
Z: Aren’t you tired?
K: Yeah, I am tired. Hey, Tsukasa, don’t butt in.
H: No way!
K: Do something Zero-sama.
Z: No way!

*

After saying that, the two guys got up and starting running.

Z: Okay, lets get our act together and go onto the next thing.
K: That’s right. D’espairsRay is two years old.
Z: babubabu~
K: babubabu~
H, T: When these two do it, the conversation goes nowhere.
K: Well how about if you guys tried?
H: No Way!
T: Yeah.
K: No! Aren’t you supposed to be saying “Congratulations”.
Z: Yeah we mean congratulations.
K: By the way, we’re started our third year, but what are we going to do?
Z: We’ll become even greater maniacs by all getting Mohawks.
K: Well then I’ll just shave it all off.
Z: Well then I’ll just get an afro!
K: Wah!! Anything but that!

*

An uncomfortable atmosphere

*

Z: I’m sorry.
K: Me too. That was a lie. You ba~ldy!
Z: You’re the baldy
K: Shut up! You.. you… you… ugh

So saying Karyu gets up and starts running away.

Z: I’m so sorry to have offended you with something so unsightly. I’m afraid this organization is rather troubled so please be patient with us.

*

Z: He’s not back yet.

*

*

Z: I guess he’s still being contrary.

*

Z: Hey, Karyu! Get your ass back in here.
H: No way.
T: Yeah…

*

Z: Karyu, it’s dinnertime.

S
I
L
E
N
C
E

*

Z: One Piece has started.
K: (from far away) WAAAAaaaaaahh~~~~~~~~! Gamu gomu no~~~~~~~~

And so they watched One Piece together.

*

Thirty minutes later

K: Ah, that was funny. So what are we doing?
Z: Finishing the column.
K: That’s right, we were answering questions.
Z: I’ve gotten tired of it, so lets stop.
K: Besides, no one’s reading it.
Z: Gimme questions!
K, Z: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
Z: Well then, see you next time.
K: If you don’t send any questions we’re going to stop. At the least, people reading this, write something.

And then that night, Zero turned into a wild animal and Karyu turned into a magical cat and the lights went off.

*

K: Today’s a dangerous day so please be careful of “gomu”.
Z: Pa-oooooooooon.

*

K: omyamyamyamyamyamya--- (Ryutarou’s call) Zudon! Zukoon! Pakoon!! Kakko~ Zubyubbyubbyubbyubbyu!
K, Z: (sigh)

These two are idiots but I think there will probably be a next time so please stop by.

+ sex69sex Vol.5 +

K: Hello. It’s pa-oon Karyu.
Z: (laugh) Hello. This is Zero who is abused every night by pa-oon Karyu.
K: …I’m abusing you? That’s a bit of a shock!
Z: Yeah. So from now on I’m going to discipline you strictly so you become a more stable adult!
K: Pa-ooooooon!
Z: Don’t be so impatient. The fun stuff happens after we’re done with this.
K: Ye~s Sir. Lets get our act together. Today’s column is the answering everyone’s questions volume.
Z: Questions volume? …
K: First off, we have a question from Ayu who lives in Tokyo and is 17.
Z: Wait, her age and where she lives aren’t written there.
K: It’s alright. Don’t worry about little things.
Z: Okay. So, what’s the question?
K: What does ‘Exactly! (like a kitsune)’ mean?
Z: Hmmmm, I guess those people who don’t know shouldn’t worry about it.
K: They shouldn’t. Lets all grow into good adults.
Z: Next is Eki? …This is a question from Eki-san.
K: Where does she live? How old is she?
Z: I told you, it’s not written here.
K: Well can’t you just make something up?
Z: Well then, this is a question from Eki-san who is 15 and lives in Aomori-ken. Mmm… The first question, What kind of cell phone do you use?
K: No one in our band has a cell phone. When we want to get in touch, we send letters.
Z: It’s Docomo.
K: I said letters!
Z: No, it’s Docomo.

*

This argument continues for about 20 minutes.

*

K: Enough! Say whatever you want! I’m going there.

So saying, Karyu leaves the room.

Z: Hey! Don’t be pissy! Get back here.

*

Z: Since it looks like he is not coming back, I’ll go on to the next one. The second question. What does Hizumi have attached to his chest at concerts? Hizumi, what do you have attached to your chest?
H: Huh? What time do we have to be at the studio tomorrow?
Z: 7 o’clock. What do you wear on your chest?
K: No way!
Z: No way? Are you listening to what I’m saying?
H: *sighs* I’m getting tired. Well I’m heading home for the night. See ya tomorrow.
Z: Eh?!
H: Baiba~!
Z: HE really did go home. I guess that means it’s a secret. Well then, the third question. I would really like to see RAZOR on a CD. Since you’re peeking in from that door over there Karyu, what do you think?

*creek shuffle shuffle slam*

K: Hmmm… we gave out RAZOR as a free tape at a concert on 9/26 last year. We don’t have any plans to put it on CD.
Z: I guess that’s how it is. Please enjoy it at concerts.
K: Well, is it my turn next?
Z: Yep.
K: This is a question from Iyo-san who is 18 and lives in Hiroshima-ken. I want the members to violate me.
Z: (laughs)
K: I want to violate you.
Z: Hey! Don’t you want to be violated?
K: I want to be violated.
Z: Which one is it?
K: Either one. How about you?
Z: I want to tie people down.
K: You sadist!!
Z: You always look happy when you say that.
K: Yeah…
Z: And it’s nice when your eyes are bound, right?
K: Yeah… (feeling a little uncomfortable).
Z: Oh! You didn’t say Pa-oon.
K: Yeah, look forward to that after this is done.
Z: You’ve made some nice plans.
K: In exchange, you have to be rough.
Z: Okay, okay.

Karyu is all smiling and happy

K: Oh, Ito-san did you buy the CD like you should? We are selling it y mail-order as well as in stores so if you have not yet bought it please look at the notice.
Z: Wow! You’re serious today. Good! Once we’re done with this I’ll do something extra special for you.
K: Pa…pa… fu
Z: You restrained yourself, didn’t you?
K: I did.
Z: Good. Well, while Karyu is being serious, lets go on to the next.
K: This is the rest of Iyo-san’s question. I can’t go to concerts and the CD was sold out and I couldn’t buy it. Have I lost my status as a fan?
Z: No, you haven’t really lost it, I think.
K: Exactly. Since you love D’espairsRay like a fan should.
Z: Yes!! And as far as that goes, we have that line Karyu always says!!
K: I love you guys!!
Z: So you guys, please love D’espairsRay even more.
K: Especially me!!
Z: Yeah, whatever.
K: …Did I get a little too worked up?
Z: Eh, it’s cool.
K: Yeah, it’s cool. A-And, I want to tell you guys where to send fanletters. Where is it now?
Z: We changed to a new address recently. Please send them to:

D’espairsRay
4-xx-4-xxx Nakaochiai
Shinjuku-ku, Tokyo
161-xxxx (note: this address is no longer accurate.)

Thank you!

K: Tank fu!
Z: Tank fu?
K: I told you, don’t worry about little things like that. You’re kinda strange today.
Z: No, you’re the strange one.
K: Oh! I saw something really cool!! (Ignoring Zero)
Z: What?
K: It’s a question, or I guess a message, from Miya-san who is 17 and lives in Tokyo.
Z: So, what is it?
K: Karyu-san is really cool!!
Z: Really?
K: Don’t take such a jaundiced view!
Z: I’m not!
K: Well, you have a long life in front of you so I’m sure something good will come your way.
Z: What are you saying? You make it sound like there’s been nothing good in my life so far.
K: Have there been any good things?
Z: …
K: See? There aren’t any.
Z: Well… I mean… There’s the fact that right now I’m in D’espairsRay.
K: Oh!! That gives me the warm and fuzzies!
Z: Doesn’t it?
K: I think.
Z: Hey!
K: Anyway, lets go on to the next one. Oh, thank you Miya-san. Please continue to cheer me on.
Z: Okay, the next question… oh, I’ll give this to you.
Z: A question from Chachamaru Gyaruson who live in Fukuyama and is 16. What is the standard for “ero?” (note: Erotic is shorted to ero in Japanese and because it comes in later I’m using the Japanese form.)
K: Hmm.. That’s a good question. And I, the most erotic of all the members, shall answer it. The basis of “ero” is definitely stripping. First show the foot.
Z: Ooo!!
K: Next the arms.
Z: Umhmm, umhmm
K: Next the breasts.
Z: Sounds go~od
K: Last xxx.
Z: Hey.
K: Also, if you take the Z from Zero you get “ero”.
Z: That’s not intentional.
K: You little pervert. (sounding excited)
Z: You’re just saying whatever you want, aren’t you!
K: Hmm… I feel refreshed
Z: Is that so?
K: It’s so.
Z: I give up. What’s with you?
K: I’m Karyu.
Z: I know that!
K: I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Z: I’m talking about you.
K: Come on, come on. Lets calm down and go on to the next one.
Z: Well then get going.
K: A question from Muika-san who is 18 and lives in Kanagawa-ken. Zero-san has become remarkably beautiful. Is he in love? Why has he become so beautiful?
Z: No, I’m not in love.
K: You’ve been hiding things from me.
Z: I said I’m not in love. Really!
K: Well that’s what he says. It seems like you’re being fooled by the make-up. Everyone should be very careful.
Z: What are they supposed to be careful of?
K: That they aren’t tricked by the make-up.
Z: Jerk!
K: Yep! I’m a jerk.
Z: …
K: Don’t worry about it. I’m right here.
Z: I’m right here? …Forget it. Lets get on to the next one.
K: The next one is mine.
Z: Mine? Well then, a question from Ayane-san who is 17 and lives in Chiba-ken. It says Please tell us the scary story that happened during recording.
K: I-I don’t really want to think about it.
Z: Yeah, I know.
K: It was like a nightmare. I think it was on some magazine’s I-mode site, so please read it there. I’m sorry.
Z: Sorry.
K: Well then, the next question. It’s Tell us a memory or happening from a tour
Z: That’s something I can’t forget even now. It happened when we were headed to Kumagaya Vogue on 8/30.
K: Oh, that.
Z: We thought we were going to be late for our set so we were speeding along at over 80 mph (130 kph).
K: And then suddenly.
Z: The car let out white smoke and stopped.
K: We took a picture of us standing next to the car looking like idiots.
Z: (laugh) We did. We did. So we called a tow-truck
K: And we took the tow-truck to Kumagaya Vogue.
Z: It’s become a bit of a legend. Our arrival that day.
K: I’m sure no one but D’espairsRay could do it.
Z: I’m sure. (laugh)
K: And now we’ve passed on the legend
Z: Now we can laugh about it.
K: Yeah. But that day we thought we wouldn’t be able to play our show.
Z: Yeah.
K: The end. That was our big happening while on tour.
Z: Well then next is Karyu’s turn.
K: O~kay. A question from Natsu-san who is 16 and lives in Kakano-ken. Are the members looking after the K in kitsune properly?
Z: Well, almost.
K: Almost?
Z: We’re not looking after him.
K: That’s what I thought.
Z: Yep.
K: Okay, next question.
Z: Umm… That next question is from Yuki-san who is 20 and lives in Osaka. If you were going to start a shop, what kind of shop would you like to own? Should we ask all the members this question? Lets start with Hizumi-san.
H: A book shop for me.
T: Probably an izakaya (Japanese pub). Like “I’ll get that for you right away.”
K: I don’t know. I think you’d drink at your own place.
H: And then you’d be drunk and your customers would leave without paying.
Z: It would so happen.
T: It would not! What about you Zero-kun?
Z: I’d open a flower shop.
K: Wow! You can say that kind of embarrassing thing in front of strangers?
Z: Well what would you do Karyu?
K: I’d open a video shop.
H: One specializing in porn, I bet.
T: Yeah.
Z: And Tsukatchi would be your regular customer.
H: And you’d have stuff that was crazy.
T: Wrong. I think the story is really important. Although they can be a little crazy.
K: Stuff with tutors and such.
T: What? I just noticed you. I thought you had gone home.
H: fufufu… I have the power to make my aura disappear.
K: I have the power to make people notice but pretend they don’t.
Z: I have the power to make people think that I went home so that they pretend they don’t’ know, but because he’s pitiable, I’ll talk to him anyway.
T: Well I… I…
K: Okay. On to the next question. A question from Yuriyuri-san who is 17 and lives in Kyoto. The first part: What are some things you dislike?
H: I don’t really have any.
K: Umm… Mine is ghosts.
Z: You really can’t go in scary places. (laugh) I don’t like seafood.
H: You need to get over stuff like that.
Z: No, that stuff isn’t fit for people to eat!
K: That’s no good! Eat it!
Z: You say, “Eat it!” but you don’t eat fish either, do you?
K: I eat sushi.
Z: I eat sushi too.
H: You only eat squid sushi.
T: Yeah, only squid.
Z: Squid’s good.
H: It’s good, but…
Z: It’s swee~et and melts in your mouth.
K: Don’t talk about squid!
Z: Well, then lets get on to the next one.
K: Oh! It’s between Doraemon and Korosuke.
T: We gotten to my era.
K: Listen to me! Which would you rather have Doraemon or Korosuke? (note: They are both robots from manga.)
T: Well, for me, I would like Doraemon who can make all sorts of tools for me.

*

Tsukatchi talks about Doraemon for about ten minutes

*

K: Gah! I’m sick of this. Lets go on to the next one.
T: Hey, wait a minute. I’m just getting to the important part!
H, K, Z: Rejected!
Z: The next one is from someone living abroad. It’s a question, no a message, from Kinoko, Hitoe-san who is 20. Ah! It’s a little long so I can’t write it here, but thank you for the long message. We will all read it so please feel free to send another.
K: Wait a minute! There’s a question in here too!!
Z: Yes, there is. This is a question for Karyu-san. What do you want for your birthday?
K: Umm… Love.
H: Bullshit!
K: It’s not!
T: Love is nice
K: Isn’t it?
Z: By the way, Karyu’s birthday is December 7th.
H: I’m March 2nd
T: Mine’s four days after that on March 6th
Z: I’m four months after that on July 31st.
K: What a greedy band.
Z: No we aren’t because we all want love.
T: Yeah!
H: Yep… probably.
Z: No, it’s not “probably!” Well, lets just go on to the next one. Karyu.
K: Umm… The next one is from Yuuko-san who is 18 and lives in umm… Aichi-ken. When fans wait for you before and after shows is it a bother or does it make you happy?
Z: It makes me truly happy.
H: Yeah, exactly.
K: I’m sad when no one’s there.
T: It looks like everyone likes it.
K: Oh, wait, there’s a message too. “I really like Zero-san.”
Z: Eh? Thank you.
K: Don’t just say “thank you,” you badly
Z: What does being bald have to do with anything? Besides, I’m not bald, it’s shaved.
K: Bald is bald.
Z: You guys are the ones who shaved it!
H: Yeah, that was fun.
K: Yeah that was the first time I had done something like that.
T: (laughs) That was funny.
Z: You’re making me into a joke. I’ll remember this.
H: No way.
Z: No way!?
H: Well, I think I’m going to head home.
Z: You’re probably going to say that and then only pretend to go home again.
H: No, I’m really going to go home.
T: Yeah, I’m starting to get tired too.
H: See ya.
T: Bye

*

Z: Looks like they really left.
K: At last it’s just the two of us.
Z: Yep. We just have two more questions and then we can do what we’ve been looking forward to.
K: Okay! Lets go! The question, no it’s a message. A message from 15 year old Rei-san from Aichi-ken. I look forward to this every month. Please continue to work hard. Thank you for listening to Teraazu (internet radio show) every month.
Z: Yeah. We’ll do our best so please continue to support us at concerts and on this column and please continue to listen to Teraazu.
K: Thank you. But next month is a special issue. We’ll have an exhibit of Tsukatchi’s art.
Z: Eh! We’re really going to do that?
K: We are. Tsukatsa said it’s all right.
Z: Well it looks like that’s what’s going on. Please tell us what you think of Tsukatchi’s art. And please send us questions. Well we’re down to the last question… or rather, message. It’s from 18 year old Akero-san who lives in London (that’s the truth). Hmm… It says boku so I guess it’s a guy. I live in London, so would you please do a show here?
K: Okay, lets go.
Z: You really think you should be saying that kinda stuff?
K: …maybe
Z: Weak.
K: We’ll go someday.
Z: This won’t happen anytime soon.
K: You have to dream big!
Z: Yeah. I really would like to do a concert overseas.
K: Yeah.
Z: I hope we’re able to do it someday.
K: that’s why I said we’ll do it.
Z: Yeah, okay.
K: If we become an awesome band and go to London, come see us.
Z: Yeah, when that happens, come see us.
K: London’s a little far away but, we’re really happy that we have people supporting us from that far away. Pwease continue to support us.
Z: (laugh) Pwease.
K: Whew! We’re done.
Z: Yep. It’s the time we’ve been waiting for, but since we aren’t going to turn off the lights tonight, we have to finish this column first.
K: Oh, that’s right. Thank you for all the messages and questions. We’re going to continue to take questions and messages so please send them.
Z: Next month, like we said earlier, we plan to show Tsukatchi’s pictures, so we’ll be taking a break but please look at his pictures. I think he’d like to hear from your thoughts on them, so please send them.
K: Hurry up!!!!

*

And tonight, without turning out the lights, Karyu’s hands and eyes were bound and they intertwined even more tempestuously then usual.