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World Affairs' LiveJournal:
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| Tuesday, August 12th, 2008 | 2:52 pm
[sarko_le_grand]
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Am I the only one doing any work around here?
With all due respect, neither the comments made recently by ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) fratboydoesgood nor by jc_of_politics have been particularly helpful in defusing the current crisis in Georgia. Frankly, I'm not at all sure what my dear friend George was going on about (he seems to think Russian warships are steaming toward the United States even now), and as for Silvio ... well, let's just say Silvio likes to be provocative and stir up a hornet's nest when there's no reason for it. No offence, Silvio, but isn't that what the mountebanks do with their cup and balls shows; distract the audience so no one notices the sleight-of-hand going on under the table? *shoots his cuffs* This is a grave crisis, though, and someone in the international community needs to pay attention. At one time Angie might have been counted on to join France in speaking up, but she seems to be taking an extended vacation (or maybe she's just sulking because my wife has taken her place as the golden girl of international gatherings). *shrugs* But if she has better things to do, well, I'm perfectly prepared to stand alone and denounce aggression when I see it. My Foreign Minister has been working behind the scenes to defuse the crisis, and I have meetings scheduled in Moscow with both of Russia's leaders. As President of the EU, and President of France, I'm confident that once again, as with the Bolivian nurses and with Ingrid, I will manage to achieve what no one else can. And now you'll have to excuse me, because I have a plane to catch.  Current Mood: determined | | Sunday, January 27th, 2008 | 8:31 pm
[vlad_impaler]
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Cross-posted to my lj. Apparently my previous post did not alleviate doubts concerning the ridiculous accusation that I have dishonestly acquired a couple dozen billion worth of shares and bonds. A slightly misguided man called Stanislav Belkovsky (clue is in the name) has repeated the claim and further more apparently has challenged me to sue him if it is untrue. The implication being if I do not sue him, his claim is true. Obviously I don't need to expose the flaws in this one. The claim is not true, but I am not a very litigious person. I'm rather mild and sweet, actually, once you get to know me. I don't feel the need to persecute people through the courts just to prove something I already knew. Take Litvinenko. He told the most wicked slanders about me. And did I sue him? No! Anna Politikovskaya, Viktor Yuschenko, Maskhadov, and too many others to list or count, have all taken advantage of their freedom of speech to libel me. Did I sue any of them? No. Did they thank me for it? NO! Ingrates, the lot of you. Stanislav also mentioned my Ukrainian "friend" Yulia Timoschenko, calling her "President Alexander Lukashenka in a skirt", but this made me dislike him even more, because it brought back terrible memories of this year's CIS Christmas Party, when a certain leader may have had a little too much of Minsk's finest vodka. I have photos, so you'll be paying our higher gas prices now, Sascha. On the subject of vodka, sarko_le_grand, the KGB tells me it is your birthday soon. Many happy returns. Would you like a case of the special flavoured water I gave you at the G8? Or would you like for me to not sue you too? As for my other political friends here, I hope you hope the new year brings you success in your careers provided you support Russia's interests. Oh, and Silvio...look behind you! *smirks* I'll never get tired of this. And as for you, Dominique, I have indeed received your message expressing concerns about my alleged death threats to Berlusconi, but as you know, I'm far too busy mobilizing the invasion force to reply. Current Mood:  cranky | | Wednesday, January 9th, 2008 | 12:56 pm
[dominiquelechic]
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new year, new war
When I had my aides analyze every word of every speech Vladimir Putin had made over ze past two years in an attempt to discover any clues to his secret invasion plan, none of us ever zought for even a moment zat he would invade France through ze stronghold of Nice! I suppose zat shows just how devious Russians are. If you zink about it, zat shouldn't be surprising: zey are just like P russians only without ze "P" ! Why didn't we see zis coming? If it helps, sarko_le_grand, I have got for you here my estimate of vlad_impaler's planned route. If only we hadn't let Russia have a Black Sea port! I hope, Nicolas, you are preparing fully for zis invasion menace. I suspect a pincer movement.  I always knew Vladimir could never keep his hands talons off La France. | | Friday, November 30th, 2007 | 2:27 am
[vlad_impaler]
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It was will be a fair election and I won will win it fairly!
The international election monitors won't be coming to Russia this year like they normally do whenever we have an election. Well, who needs them? Russia isn't some third-world country with a people that's just gotten out of the gulags! We don't need anyone's seal of approval on what we do in our own country. Hear that, George? No messing about in our internal affairs! Let me repeat here what I said just the other night: "We know the value of authentic democracy and are interested in conducting honest, maximally transparent and open elections without organizational shortcomings and malfunctions. We are sure this will be done." Considering what happened in a certain country in 2000, maybe the international monitors should make an adjustment or two to their watch list and leave me alone! Current Mood: belligerent | | Tuesday, October 9th, 2007 | 1:38 am
[jc_of_politics]
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Happy Birthday, Vladimiro
So, Vladimiro, you had a birthday yesterday. Were there any interesting gifts this year? *frowns* I did see people were sending you roses.... Actually, I was trying to think what I might get you in memory of our old friendship, but then I thought that the only thing you'd want from me is something I refuse to give away. So, amico mio, you'll have to settle for a card, I'm afraid. Current Mood:  jealous | 1:34 am
[fratboydoesgood]
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Birthday!
Gosh darn it, Pootie-Poot, I missed your birthday yesterday! I sure hope it was a happy one. I don't know why I forgot; can't for the life of me remember what I had for breakfast this morning, if you know what I mean. (Laura, bless her heart, writes little notes like "Oval Office" and sticks them all over the White House so I won't get lost. You should see her scrambling to take all of them down when we're having people over.) You're a sly old dog, Pootie-Poot, and that's the truth. I hear you're going to step down as president next March and become prime minister. And people tell me that you'll take all the power with you. Have you told your successor the plan yet? Bet he's glad to know that he'll get the title of president but he won't have to do any work since he won't have any power. I think I'll call him Charlie, because he's going to be just like Liz's son; lots of time on his hands and no one asking him to do anything important. *pouts* I wish I could figure out a way to do the same thing you're doing when I leave office in 2009. Current Mood:  confused | 12:46 am
[sarko_le_grand]
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Better late than never, Vladimir
Protocol requires this, so let me offer you congratulations on your birthday. I know it must have been rather dull this year, with no murdered journalists wrapped up in ribbon all for you, but I hope there were other compensations. I'll remind François that he'll be extending the birthday greetings next year, assuming of course that you really move down a rung to his level. Current Mood:  indifferent | | Wednesday, July 18th, 2007 | 4:30 pm
[vlad_impaler]
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| | Saturday, June 16th, 2007 | 5:11 pm
[vlad_impaler]
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| | Sunday, June 10th, 2007 | 5:33 pm
[vlad_impaler]
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Small Victories
Emphasis on the small... nice poofy hair, Nico.  Thanks for the conference, Angie, had a great time! *sniggers over favourite bit of continually putting drinks tray on Nico's head and sending him around to delegates* | | Wednesday, May 9th, 2007 | 11:14 pm
[sarko_le_grand]
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Merci, mes amis!
My thanks go first to all the right-thinking voters of my beautiful and long-suffering country who had the courage to take a bold step into the future by electing me President of the Republic last Sunday. I know I can count on you again to give the UMP a solid majority next month in the legislative elections, after which I can begin the work of fixing France so France can in turn fix Europe. Next, thanks to les éléphants of the Parti Socialiste for falling under the spell of a pretty face and smile and sending Little Bo-Peep with her sheep to stand against me. Ah, gentlemen, don't blame yourselves too much; I know all too well how easy it is to succumb to feminine charms. Just look at your own poor party leader, who let himself be reduced to being called "Monsieur Royal". Of course when one lives with a woman who praises the swift justice system of China and, rumour has it, keeps a whip beneath her pillow, one must learn early on to discreet in one's criticism of her, ne c'est-pas? Moving on now to individuals, I received early congratulations from London and Washington. Tony and George, merci beaucoup for your good wishes. What a shame, Tony, that you'll be leaving the world stage so soon. Do you ever wonder what the world might be like today had you left office a few years ago instead of staying on to play soldiers with George? And George, while I have your attention, I'd appreciate it very much if you thought of a different nickname for me. Somehow "Robocop" doesn't seem quite appropriate for the leader of France. Think of something nice, and I'll make sure the soon-to-be-out-of-a-job French PM stays far away from Washington. Turning to France's continental partners, Romano and Angela sent good wishes, and I look forward to seeing both of them next month at the G8. Angela, I can assure you that the new PM will deal with you as an adult, seriously. I know that our cher Dominique harboured some illusions about you; it must have been tiring for you to constantly remind him that you were a happily married woman. But I can assure you that all my ministers will share my own strong feelings about the sanctity of marriage and will behave properly at all times. On the other hand, they won't be so imprisoned by the chain of a wedding vow that they have to make a desperate bid for freedom the way George did during last year's G8 when he gave you that impromptu shoulder rub that soon was the talk of the internet. The Russian president also sent congratulations. Eventually. Two days late. Yes, cher Vladimir, I understand exactly what you were trying to convey. Ségolène, chérie, I'm sure you'll be much happier not being President. Perhaps you should let François have a try at it in 2012. And please don't be too disappointed when the PS is crushed again in next month's elections. Finally, a word to the two people with whom I have the longest and deepest political ties. Jacques, do you remember all those years ago when you gave me permission to speak for five minutes and I spoke for twenty? And the audience loved me. And you loved me, and you put me on the path to the Elysée. Merci, mon père, merci. Enjoy your retirement. Dominique, you knew it would end this way, didn't you? But unlike your sulky Russian friend, you were gracious enough to call immediately with your congratulations. That was much appreciated, mon ami. And who knows, your real political story may still be waiting to be written. Eventually I'll decide to retire and will be looking for a suitable successor. In the meantime, you can have the role of France's Prince Charles if you want it. But we'll talk more about this privately. First there's a small matter of a wager to be settled. Current Mood: ecstatic | | Tuesday, April 24th, 2007 | 12:17 am
[vlad_impaler]
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Bye Bye, Boris
It's a sober sad day in Russia today, as we mourn the passing out of our first President. His firm grasp of any shot glass within a hundred metres democratic principles proofed proved to the world he was a man under the table above board. I raise my glass to him offer my deepest condolences to the family. | | Friday, February 16th, 2007 | 6:59 am
[sarko_le_grand]
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Insults
I make this post here, and not in my personal journal, because I think it merits the attention of all the politicians who are members of this community. Yesterday I came across a post by a voter, a French voter, in which Mme Royal and I (among other) were directly insulted. I might have thought our current Premier Ministre had a hand in it were it not for the fact that his very absence from mention is an insult in itself. (This voter, antiseptique, has a candidate picked out to replace you as PM, cher Dominique, and it's not a name you'll be familiar with. He seems to be implying that anyone who posts on LiveJournal is as qualified as you to be head of government. *smirks* Of course, in your case he may have a point.) Still, this behaviour by a mere voter is completely unacceptable. Who does he think he is, anyway? I'm tempted to open a dossier on him immediately! Oh, you want to know what he said about us? Go here: http://mikahel.livejournal.com/358558.html and see for yourselves. Even those of you not fluent in French will be able to understand the slurs. *mutters darkly* There wouldn't have been this kind of behaviour in Robespierre's day, and I don't see why we should tolerate it now. I'm sure Vladimir would be the first to agree with me, and given George's current problems, he'd probably feel the same. Current Mood: enraged | | Wednesday, January 10th, 2007 | 1:41 pm
[iam_angelam]
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Urgent message for sarkolegrand Hi. I'm aswanargent, who writes here in WA as the rather dull serious and thoughtful Angela Merkel. I also do most of the posts and comments from the much more devil-may-care Silvio Berlusconi.
With France's UMP poised to anoint Nicolas Sarkozy as its standard bearer in the upcoming election, it would be great to see Nico active and posting again in WA. Do you have any interest in picking him up again? If not, would you mind if I took him on? Your username can't be bettered, so I'd just put in a couple of underscores, perhaps making "sarkolegrand" into "sarko_le_grand". If you read this, would you please comment and let me know how you feel about the idea? Thanks! Current Mood: eager | | Thursday, December 28th, 2006 | 9:43 pm
[dominiquelechic]
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| | Tuesday, December 26th, 2006 | 7:24 am
[iam_angelam]
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Christmas 2006
Happy Christmas to you all. Silvio, a special wish sent to you today for a speedy recovery. Current Mood: peacefulCurrent Music: Bach - "Magnificat" | 6:52 am
[jc_of_politics]
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Belated Christmas greetings
Amici! I'm a day late in offering Christmas wishes to you all, but my unexpected visit to Cleveland for a minor medical procedure (yes, these days getting a heart pacemaker is just a minor procedure, I think) required a change in my holiday plans. There was simply no time to send cards out this year, each with a warm, heartfelt, personalized, handwritten greeting. I'm so sorry if you were disappointed, but please know that you were in my thoughts. One of you especially so. The villa here at Macherio is filled with white roses today; I breathe in their heady perfume and am transported. So. Buon Natale! I hope all of you received the gifts you wanted, and I hope that we will all meet as friends in the New Year. Big Kiss - Silvio Current Mood: calmCurrent Music: Vivaldi | | Thursday, November 30th, 2006 | 4:29 pm
[jc_of_politics]
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| 4:18 pm
[iam_angelam]
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Belated birthday greetings
So sorry to have missed your birthday yesterday, dear Jacques. I trust it was a very happy one. I still have a bottle of champagne chilling to celebrate your Prime Minister's birthday when he's next in Berlin. I could do the same for you, or is alcohol not permitted these days for health reasons? No matter; I'm sure I can come up with some other ideas. How do you feel about chocolate? Or perhaps a puppy? Current Mood: working | | Tuesday, November 14th, 2006 | 11:46 am
[jc_of_politics]
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There are white roses on my desk today
Felicitations, amico mio. I thought of sending a card, but in the end decided against it. I'm sure you understand. By the way, in case you were wondering, my feelings weren't hurt at all when you let my own birthday pass unnoticed. Knowing you, you'd have taken a perverse delight in sending one of those annoying American cards made especially to mark "milestone" birthdays. Frankly, I prefer not to be reminded of my age. It's only a number, after all. So. There'll be champagne with dinner this evening, and I'll raise my glass to you (silently) then. Current Mood:  nostalgic |
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