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as of late, i've been amusing myself by watching the Sex and the City DVDs i borrowed from my mom, and now that i'm into the end of season 6 and have seen the movie, i've realized something very interesting: both Carrie, our heroine, (if you want to call her that, but that's another post) and Miranda end up with guys that they dated in the past and knew throughout the entire series.



now, granted, Charlotte and Samantha find guys that they had no connection to before, but that Carrie ends up with Big and Miranda ends up with Steve makes me wonder what Michael Patrick King is trying to say.

Some possible takeaways from this are:
1. you'll probably end up with someone you've known for years and either already dated or put in the friend zone. all those other guys you meet along the way will simply never know you like these guys.
2. not giving up on a previously failed relationship (like Big) will eventually yield everlasting happiness
3. enter your own spin on this

i realize it's only a TV show, but women looooove it. is it just about ratings or does it say something about women?

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(330): First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

(510): he said he didn't have a condom.
(415): and you said?
(510): that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.

(312): I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.

(978): Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good

Today at ACC I was waiting at the cafe for my cheese pizza, and the guys next to me were having a conversation. It went something like this

Guy1: "So how are things going with so-and-so?"
Guy2: "Oh that night I was thinking 'There's no way she likes me like that' and she was thinking 'There's no way he likes me like that' blah blah blah...."

Now, I really didn't hear much of the conversation, but I couldn't help but think how high school that statement sounded. I know that I'm married, and I don't have to worry about that drama of worrying if a guy likes me or not, but even if I was single, I think I've reached a point where if you like someone, just tell them. I don't see the point in waiting and stressing about someone else's feelings. Just ask. Regardless of their answer, you don't waste your time or feelings on wondering.

Then he said something about how they'd been praying a lot together, because "it's hard to stay true to Jesus when you REALLY like someone." I seriously doubt Jesus cares about anyone's sex life, or lack thereof. You only live once, and denying yourself is a sad way to live.

On a side note, one of them turned to me and told me that God loves me. I find this offensive, because he doesn't know what my personal beliefs are, and he certainly shouldn't presume to know God's feelings on anything.

The whole thing just made me wonder, when does a boy become a man? Certainly I know guys that are nearing thirty and have all the maturity and wisdom of a teenage boy. It's interesting.

i just wanted to post a picture real quick, to remind me to post tomorrow. kthx.



i picked the one with Sirius cause it's too funny, haha

My sister is getting divorced. Her husband went to England in late August for some music stuff, and he didn't talk to her or email her for 6-8 weeks at a time, and then signed a 5 year contract to stay there without consulting her. She told my father that he's always been the kind of person to make decisions without really considering how it will affect her. I suppose he's either too oblivious to, or he simply cares more about his music than his wife.

My father thinks she was stupid for assuming he would change after 8 years (they've been married for almost 4), and I pointed out that most men do change and want to settle down and have a family when they hit 30. How was she to know he wouldn't? From what I hear she's mostly relieved. I still feel bad. It's weird. My father is secretly thrilled since he thinks Cory is a loser that was holding Stef back, but really I think she did what she wanted to do. Of course now she has all of his medical bills on her credit card and his car in her name that is probably gonna bite her in the ass, but at least it wasn't a house like it was with Austin's sister.

I think part of the reason why the divorce rate is so high in America now is because we are taught to believe we are special and that everything should be easy and that relationships are 'meant to be' if they don't take any effort. In reality, relationships, whether romantic or platonic, take work. People change, and all parties involved must make the effort to stay connected to one another.

Well Nikki said we were being lazy, so here's a post. Not about guys, but about relationships.

A girl I know posted a blog asking "After ten months, how do you know you're still in love?" Perhaps I am on my own in this, but ten months is not a long-term relationship. Some people take that long to even say "I love you."

The girl in question is a serial dater. I also think she tends to fall in lust quite easily, and probably has no idea what love really is. She can't hold a job for ten months, so I suppose being with the same person for that long is equally foreign to her. I don't think that is necessarily a flaw; some people enjoy monogamy and stability while others enjoy a more untethered lifestyle. Most fall somewhere in the middle.

If after ten months, you're questioning your relationship, is that a sign things are going south? Or is it merely a that you are terrified of commitment and don't know how to deal with things going well for so long?

hey everyone!

we've gotten kind of lazy about this site, haven't we?
well, it's update time!

i've been with shaun for two and a half months now, woohoo! not very long, i know. but everything has to start somewhere, right? and i'd just like to brag on him a little:
we went downtown for patrick's birthday not too long ago, and at the end of the night i didn't really want my own drink, so i told shaun to get whatever and i'd just sip on it. and guess what he got -- a cherry vodka sour, because that's what i'd been drinking all night. and they say chivalry is dead :)

patrick, meanwhile, has been a shady fuck, spending a very drunk thanksgiving with his exgirlfriend and then getting up to go to dallas the next morning to see his current girlfriend. this puts the rest of us in an awkward spot, because we like the ex better, but that's still an indescribibly shitty thing to do. are we obligated to tell her, or just let it roll?

shaun to natasha: "so how DO you do well in school?"
gabby: "private sessions with the ta?"

WIN


::posted by nikki::

Gabby: "Is sex addiction a real addiction? How would you treat a sex addiction?"
Me: "I don't know... behavioral modification maybe."
Gabby: "So what, every time they want sex you tazer them?"

-- I think we can all agree; this would be the most effective method of behavioral modification ever!

i learned last night that my boyfriend hasn't had to wait for more than a week for whoever he's seeing to sleep with him...damn.


"you're going to use that against me, aren't you?"
"no, but you've got to be kidding."
"no...just don't be cruel, please."


now i'm not going to be cruel, but he's out of his fucking mind if he thinks i'm a quarter as easy as those girls.
congratulations, bubby, you're about to learn some patience.

after all, this is what she ( wanted )

Relax, they tell me

Just enjoy the ride

As if that’s supposed

To placate my shoulders

And calm my racing mind

 

He’s good for you,

They add confidently

He’ll treat you like a queen

And besides

You’d be good for him

 

But what good is a queen

Who doesn’t deserve

A crown given in earnest

Without consideration for

Flawed qualifications

 

And good for him!

I sigh, and try to will

The tension from my neck

Only it knows as well as I

What is sure to come

 

For all bear scars

From those gone by

Though most are artfully hidden

While mine scheme beneath

Desperate attempts at distraction

 

How can I greet such

An expectant smile and

Not disappoint his hopes?

They haven’t told me yet

Whether the ride is safe

 

 

 

maybe you'll agree, but maybe you won't.
maybe you have a theory of your own.
but let's give it a go, eh?

my theory is this:
damaged people seem to only date other damaged people because they don't think they're good enough for anyone else.

this came about after i realized that all the guys i've dated have been, in some fashion, damaged.
and i also think i'd end up hurting someone who didn't already have a history.
i thought it was insightful...but maybe that was the rum talking.

i saw my ex tonight for the first time since some stuff went down...and it went well.
granted, he was playing a show and only got to talk for like five minutes, but still.

but i confess, i drank before i saw him.
and i had clear plans to book it to sixth if it went poorly.
after all our history, i didn't want it to end badly.
i was petrified he would piss me off, or do something stupid, and i would thoroughly resent him.
and that's not something i want.


also, i know my biggest lie...johnny price was proud.
"i can do it all by myself."
think about it.
and no, it's not a lyric from that stupid hip-hop song.

welp, it's about that time again...time to go back to school.

and in honor of that event and my senior year, here's a group of guys who have figured prominently in my last real summer ever.

you know that old saying about change? it goes like this:

"the more things change, the more they stay the same."

well, i think it's a saying. maybe it's actually a song lyric, i'm not sure.
but whatever it is, i've found it to be true.
i still love the olympics, like whoa.
the university of texas is still a badass school and sometimes i can't believe i go here.
alcohol and i still have a love-hate relationship.
and, recently, i've realized i'm still uncharacteristically hesitant when it comes to getting involved with a guy who wants a relationship.

doesn't that sound counterintuitive?
i mean, i've whined about wanting to have a boy to count on and cuddle with.
i've wistfully watched my friends in relationships and lamented my own lack of stupid inside jokes.
so when an opportunity presents itself, why don't i jump at the chance?

instead i ignore the guy, or at least his interest.
i put up walls, and become the most difficult version of myself i can...all in an effort to get him to give up any efforts.
and this is not to say i stop wanting to cuddle or any of that.

in short, i sabatoge myself.
i was talking to scott about it, and we basically agreed it stems from a deep-seeded fear of getting too attached, again. my relationship philosophy is this:

all relationships end.

so in order to keep myself from getting hurt, i try end things first. usually before i'm too deeply involved emotionally. i guess i figure that if they can deal with me at my worst, the odds they'll leave are significantly decreased...and maybe, just maybe, it means they actually care. of course, it doesn't help that the guys i usually end up going for (or at least the ones where this has happened with) tend to have checkered pasts and emotional scars of their own. like tasha says, "why do we have to make it complicated?"


but maybe now that i've sat down and thought through all this, i'll be able to control it.
maybe i won't push them away.
and maybe you'd like to know who i'm talking about.

he was awakened by my missed call he said.. aww.. thanks to me? :) he was wearing a clean white shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans. he looks so clean, so fresh, so hot! i would constantly glance at him  from time to time, of course without him noticing.
choir practice

just got home from choir practice... i saw my crush tonight and i cant help but stare... he's not all too handsome but i just find him uber attractive. his skin's so fair, so smooth, so flawless... as i watch him tonight, i imagined kissing his face - his cheek down to his neck then back to his face to his lips. i feel the rush of love hormones through my veins... i want to touch him, feel him...

gosh, i'm not obsessing about him! let's make that thing clear now okay?