Dement1a ([info]dement1a) wrote in [info]weddingplans,
@ 2009-01-05 15:51:00
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Entry tags:rings

Rings: not the first clue what to do
I've been reading through the archives of this community about rings, and I still don't know what to do. My boyfriend and I have have been discussing the M word, and it's pretty obvious he wants to buy me a ring soon.

Problem is, I have no idea what I want in an engagement ring. (I barely even wear jewelry, for one thing.) I kind of like the Art Deco style.  I don't need a diamond to be happy, either, but I'd like whatever it is to be something I could pass on as an heirloom.

I guess I have two main questions:

  1. What non-diamond gems are generally accepted for engagement/wedding rings? Or, I guess, are there any that aren't (due to durability issues, etc.)?
  2. How do you pick out an e-ring that's not in a set and know it will fit with a wedding band, without having to buy an expensive custom-made wedding band later? I really don't much like the design of most of the "sets" I've seen.
Thanks in advance for advice. Also, if you have any advice of where to go online or brick n' mortar to look at Art Deco style rings, it'd be appreciated. :)

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[info]manraysky
2009-01-05 10:48 pm UTC (link)
Sapphires are popular for engagement rings. But any stone or ring you want can be your engagement ring.

Unless your engagement ring has an unusual shape, it shouldn't be hard pair with a band. You just need to try them on together and see what you like. They don't have to be a "matched set" to look good together.

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[info]sweetinsanity
2009-01-05 10:52 pm UTC (link)
If you want a durable non-diamond center, I would go with a sapphire. They come in every color of the rainbow and about a million shades inbetween. You can even get a white sapphire, if you like the idea of a clear, non-diamond stone!

The only good way to pick out an engagement ring that's not in a set that you won't have to have a custom wedding band made for it, is to find one that has flat sides. That means, the head holding the center stone can't bow out at all. That way, you can have a wedding band fit up against it without any weird gaps. Like this cathedral engagement ring.

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[info]nightsinger
2009-01-05 10:55 pm UTC (link)
1. Stones like opals and pearls are generally not recommended for rings you plan to wear every day, because they're not very durable. Harder stones (like sapphires/rubies, diamonds, etc) are more popular, because you don't have to worry about, e.g., accidentally hitting your hand on the underside of a table at dinner, or washing your hands in the wrong chemicals, etc. (Pearls will dissolve in vinegar, for example.)

People DO still get opal and pearl engagement rings, as well as other less-durable stones, but you have to be pretty careful with them, relatively speaking.

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[info]enogitna
2009-01-06 04:23 am UTC (link)
yeah, I have an opal engagement ring, and it broke once already.

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[info]brokensiren
2009-01-05 10:56 pm UTC (link)
I have a sapphire engagement ring, and I absolutely adore it. It was custom made by my fiance, and we'll probably have a wedding band custom made as well, although my ring is flat enough that I could probably buy a regular wedding band if I wanted. I think you should go with whatever gem you like best; don't worry what other people might think.

Here's a pic of my ring:

engagement ring!

side view of ring

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[info]colleenabean
2009-01-05 10:58 pm UTC (link)
The gem or stone can be whatever you want it to be. I researched the science behind gems and the nerd in me liked the stuff I found out about peridot.

I think the style comes down to what you prefer to wear - me personally - I didn't want anything that stuck up over my hand that might get caught in my pocket or knocked around. Also, I wanted something I could add a simple silver band to later so I figured if it was the same width all the way around, I'd have no problems.

Just look at a lot of rings and you'll find something you like. Don't worry if it's not "traditional" - what is anymore?

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[info]livvylove
2009-01-05 11:07 pm UTC (link)
I would say pick whatever you want. I have seen pink and yellow diamonds and you can have whatever color stone you want. You could even get a Crystal ring like swarovski crystals instead of diamonds, so you can have the look without the guilt of wondering if someone died or lost a hand or something because of your affordable diamond.

We bought my ring before I knew about what happens and from now on I decided no more diamonds unless it's conflict free.

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[info]snowmentality
2009-01-05 11:18 pm UTC (link)
You can also get created or recycled diamonds if you want to go that route! :) There are lots of possibilities.

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[info]manraysky
2009-01-05 11:49 pm UTC (link)
Or conflict free diamonds:

http://www.brilliantearth.com/

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[info]doerofnone
2009-01-05 11:55 pm UTC (link)
I agree. I absolutely love my Brilliant Earth Canadian diamond ring. They also use renewed metals.

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[info]vawawwee
2009-01-06 12:55 am UTC (link)
I have a Canadian diamond too, love!!

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[info]shipwrecked
2009-01-05 11:52 pm UTC (link)
Yep! And buying a vintage ring or shopping estate sales is a great way to do it.

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[info]snowmentality
2009-01-05 11:13 pm UTC (link)
1. Others have said that pearls and opals are soft, and might not hold up to daily, long-term wear. You can have whatever stone you want -- gemstone engagement rings are perfectly acceptable these days, and if anyone gives you trouble over not having a diamond, it's their problem, not yours -- but be aware that some are more delicate than others and will show wear. Here is a chart showing hardness ratings for various gemstones (scroll down, it's the second chart on the page).

2. Most solitaires or three-stone rings will fit nicely with a plain band later. It's really only an issue with rings that have unusual shapes that couldn't sit nicely next to a plain band.

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[info]fireyirishangel
2009-01-05 11:25 pm UTC (link)
My stone is tourmaline, which is relatively strong, comes in a wide array of colors, and was considerably less expensive than diamonds and other gems.

My ring was too wide and too intricate to wear with a wedding band that had any sort of substance to it. In other words, unless I had a VERY thin wedding band, I was SOL. I switched my engagement ring to my right hand and wear my wedding bands (three thin stacking bands) on my left. I'm just throwing that out there in case you fall in love with an engagement ring that won't flush to a band perfectly. If you're okay with wearing them on two hands, then that's always an option.

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[info]pepperedmoth
2009-01-06 11:40 pm UTC (link)
That's what I'm going to do! As pictured, my e-ring is a very odd shape, indeed.

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[info]shipwrecked
2009-01-05 11:32 pm UTC (link)
I just have to chime in and say that if you do end up with a ring that is oddly shaped and won't fit with anything else, sets are NOT required. You can easily switch your e-ring to your right hand once you get your wedding ring.



(Signed, the girl with a VERY strangely shaped e-ring)

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[info]shipwrecked
2009-01-05 11:33 pm UTC (link)
Honestly, I would stay away from an opal e-ring which is a pity as I had my heart set on one at the beginning. It just looked like it would take WAY too much damage from fairly basic daily-wear and the last thing I wanted was small chips or wear in the stone before we even get married.

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[info]lizkayl
2009-01-05 11:38 pm UTC (link)
If your e-ring doesn't end up going with your wedding band you can wear your e-ring on your right hand.

It'll be easier to get an Ering and wedding band to fit together if you get an e-ring with a flat profile- ie. everything in line.

see mine:

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[info]angielea
2009-01-06 12:52 am UTC (link)
If you're interested in a sapphire, check out www.thenaturalsapphirecompany.com This one is nice:

http://www.thenaturalsapphirecompany.com/Sapphires/Sapphire-Jewelry/Sapphire-Rings/Jewelry=J1182

And this one;
http://www.thenaturalsapphirecompany.com/Sapphires/Sapphire-Jewelry/Sapphire-Rings/Jewelry=J600

http://www.thenaturalsapphirecompany.com/Sapphires/Sapphire-Jewelry/Sapphire-Rings/Jewelry=J679

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[info]_lindz
2009-01-06 02:19 am UTC (link)
I really wanted an opal e-ring, but we went to a custom jewler and they told us that they didn't reccomend it because they aren't very durable. They crack very easily.

That being said, mine is a blue topaz and I think that it's perfect. :)

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[info]snowmentality
2009-01-06 02:23 pm UTC (link)
Oh, and I know I've been recommending this a lot lately, but I recommend GreenKarat. They have beautiful sapphire rings, colored diamond rings, and are more than happy to customize anything for you (so if you see an Art Deco style you like elsewhere, you can get in touch with them and send them the picture, and they may be able to make it for you).

My ring is coming from there, and the ring I gave my fiance when I proposed came from there too. They offer recycled gold, and lab-created stones (which are real gemstones -- just created through heat and pressure in the lab, rather than heat and pressure in the earth). (I liked this because it is super environmentally friendly -- and also a lot more affordable!) They also offer recycled white diamonds.

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[info]imlissy
2009-01-06 08:06 pm UTC (link)
moissanite is also a nice diamond alternative :)

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[info]bruxsa
2009-01-07 02:39 am UTC (link)
My Origonal e-ring was a citrine centre stone and had tiny little diamond chips because I really love citrin stones, and don't really like diamonds. however, My Fiance decided that he really wanted me to have a diamond ring, so now I have the diamond, and the citrin as my promise ring, but anyways, you can use pretty much any stone as an e-ring. I'de be more worried about the type of caseing you have on the ring than on the stone itself, as the clasps can let go or pull up depending on their height, If you want the ring to be an heirloom piece in the far future I'de be more worried about the Casing, and just go for whatever stone you love....

Good luck!

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[info]bubblebobble
2009-01-09 10:29 pm UTC (link)
my engagement ring wasnt typical at all. it was white gold and had to hearts crossing over eachother and the hearts were a bunch of tiny diamonds.


he picked it out and it was perfect for me. i wear it on my right hand occasionally now that we're married.

so dont think it has to be anything standard or look like an engagement ring. so long as its 'you' and you know what it means thats what matters

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[info]two_ribbons
2009-01-17 10:55 am UTC (link)
My e-ring is currently being made, it is an amethyst centre stone surrounded by small diamonds. Basically, diamonds are the hardest, then sapphires and rubys, followed by others such as amethyst. Emeralds are even softer than amethyst. As others have said, try and stay away from pearls or opals. I'm not going to cry if my amethyst gets scratched or chipped. I'll deal with it if it happens, and if it's a bad chip, amethyst is cheap enough that I can just replace the stone if I want to.

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