Annie (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} annie_oakley) wrote in ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} veronicalogan,@ 2008-04-06 20:23:00 |
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Fic: Everything Hits at Once: (Veronica/Logan, Ensemble) R (1/10)
Title: Everything Hits at Once- Chapter 1
Author:annie_oakley
Pairing/Character: Veronica, L/V, ensemble
Word Count: ~5000
Rating: R
Summary: More than fifteen years after Lilly's death, Veronica has to solve the most important case of her life.
Spoilers: Up to finale 3.20, 'The Bitch is Back'
Warnings: I went betaless for this first part, too, so all mistakes are mine. The prologue can be found here.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of Veronica Mars. No copyright infringement is intended.
Early January, 2015
Two lines. Two. Deep breath. Breathe out slowly. It’s only 98% accurate.
So is the Pill.
Fuck.
Veronica throws the pregnancy test into her bathroom trashcan. She’ll take another one tomorrow.
----------
A plus sign. Plus.
Okay then.
----------
Now this is a good test. The pharmacist recommended this one. She shouldn’t have even bothered with the store brand ones before.
She has to wait three minutes for the results, so she sits on the edge of the bathtub and hums “Yellow Submarine” in its entirety.
Before she looks, she promises herself that this will be the last test, results be damned. She’ll deal with it this time.
Pregnant. It’s right there in print.
Tears well in her eyes as she tries to control her breathing. She looks around her tiny bathroom, concentrating on the black and white patterns on the tile or the dark swirls in the marble sink and countertop. For the very first time, she wishes she didn’t live alone. She wants someone to talk to and confide in, someone who can give her advice or hold her and tell her everything will be all right.
Veronica marches into her bedroom and goes straight to her laptop. She needs to book a flight to Omaha.
----------
“May I help you,” the secretary asks, sans smile. She’s new, Veronica notes, wondering what happened to Rhonda.
“Yes, Veronica Mars for Agent Rosen.” She flashes her badge.
“Go ahead.”
Veronica smoothes down her skirt and forces her best fake smile before entering the office with purpose.
“Veronica!”
“Hey, Carla,” Veronica offers weakly, her resolve fading. “Surprise.”
The woman quickly moves from her desk to greet her, offering a professional handshake over a friendly hug.
“What in the world are you doing here? I thought you’d never set foot in Nebraska again. Your words, remember?”
“Yeah, I just needed someone to talk to, about something important. I was hoping you’d have some time for me?”
“You came all the way here to talk to me?”
“Well, I’m flying to California tonight, so you were on my way.” Carla eyes her skeptically and Veronica feels as nervous under her scrutiny as she did the first day they met.
“What did you want to talk about? I have a team meeting in an hour, but I’m all yours for now. Come on, have a seat,” she tells her, motioning to the office chairs. Veronica relaxes visibly before settling in across from her former mentor.
“I’m thinking about leaving the Bureau.” She thinks it’s best to be blunt.
“Leaving the Bureau?” Carla parrots, disbelief painting her face. “You want to quit?”
“I’m just, I’m not happy. I haven’t been for awhile now and-”
“Veronica,” Carla interrupts, her voice stern. “You know I like you. And I don’t like very many people. I think you’re smart and capable. You’re good at what you do-”
“I know, but I-”
Carla raises her hand, cutting Veronica off mid-sentence. “We’ve bent a hell of a lot of rules for you.”
“I know. I do. And I appreciate it, really. This has been a great opportunity.”
“The FBI isn’t an opportunity, Veronica. It’s not something you jot down on your résumé or use as a stepping stone to something else. This is the end-game. This is what you worked for.”
“I just don’t think it’s for me,” Veronica returns, her voice breaking ever so slightly.
Carla sighs in frustration. “What, is it New York? The busiest field agency in the country bores you too?” Veronica shakes her head solemnly, unable to look Carla in the eye.
“I’m pregnant.”
As scared as she is, she has to derive some pleasure from the older woman’s expression. Shock never looked so good.
“I…I didn’t even know you were dating anyone,” she says.
Veronica shrugs. “We don’t really call it dating.”
“Spare the gory details.”
“Consider yourself spared.”
“You don’t have to quit just because you’re pregnant, Veronica,” Carla says, getting back to the matter at hand. “There’s maternity leave, and then you can go part-time. I don’t want you to throw away your career over this. It’s not 1955.”
“I’m not happy!” Veronica speaks, a bit louder than she intended. “I kept thinking, ‘Okay, I just don’t like the Academy. It’ll be better when I’m done training.’ And then it was, ‘It’s just Omaha. It’ll be better when I’m in New York.’ But it’s not, Carla. It’s me. I’m not cut out for this.”
“How can you even say that? After all you’ve done?”
“It’s not that I don’t think I can do it anymore. It’s that I don’t want to do it anymore. Look, I admire you so much. Five years ago, I wanted to be you. But nothing was like I thought it would be.”
“You knew what you were getting into. I warned you.”
“I didn’t listen,” Veronica bites back, the edge in her voice startling the other woman. “And it’s not just because I’m pregnant, okay? This was far from planned, but I was going to meet with Sturges about everything before I found out. I wanted to get back into private investigation.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?” she asks, her voice softer now.
“I was, before all this. I’m not sure of anything right now.”
“Oh, Veronica, what am I going to do with you?” Veronica has to smile. In recent years, Carla has been the closest thing Veronica has to a mother. Mother. Veronica’s smile falters under the very thought of that word.
----------
Logan pads across the room in bare feet, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “HOLD ON!” he yells to the impatient person continuously ringing the doorbell.
He unlocks the large mahogany door and throws it open, ready and willing to yell at whoever had the nerve to drop by so early in the morning.
“Echolls.”
He sighs. “Mackenzie. You rang?”
Mac is leaning against the door frame, smiling brightly. “You’re looking quite handsome this morning.”
“Why are you acting weird?” Logan asks, his face scrunched.
Mac straightens, clearly affronted. “I was flirting.”
“Ew. Why?”
She rolls her eyes, pushing past him to enter his house. “Have you ever been at your computer, maybe checking your email, instant messaging, surfing for porn…whatever. And then, suddenly, poof!” she motions dramatically with her hands, “There it goes. Windows Tesla strikes again?”
“I have an iBook.”
“You’re a good man, Logan. But not everyone is.”
“How much do you want?”
“You don’t even want to know what it’s for?”
“Does it matter?”
“Ten thousand. You will, of course, be paid back in full. Plus interest.”
“I’ll write you a check,” he says, leading her into the den. Once in the large room, Mac fiddles with an electronic pencil sharpener as Logan searches the messy desktop for his checkbook. He is just about to sign his name when the phone rings.
“Yeah,” he answers, cradling the receiver in the crook of his neck as he tears the check along the perforated edge.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“It’s Veronica,” he mouths to Mac. “Hey. Mac’s here, begging again,” he speaks into the phone. “Hold on and I’ll put you on speaker.” Veronica is about to protest but Logan doesn’t give her the chance.
“Veronica!” Mac calls out excitedly. “How’s tricks? Did you find Osama yet?”
“Uh, not yet. What’s up?”
“Not much. Logan thinks I’m putting this money into the Hertz prototype, but I’m going on a bender in Vegas.”
“Maybe I’ll join you. Hey, I need to talk to Logan now, but I’ll call you later, okay?”
Mac shares a strange look with Logan but quickly answers back with a, “Yeah, sure. Bye!”
“What’s going on?” Logan asks after taking Veronica off speakerphone.
“Are you going to be around for the next few days? I need to see you.”
“Miss me already?” he teases.
“It’s important, Logan,” she replies, her tone leaving no room for jokes.
“Yeah, okay. You want me to book a flight?”
“I’m coming there. I have to meet with someone first, but my plane gets in tonight at eight. Can you pick me up at the airport?”
“Sure. Are you staying with your dad or here?”
“Um, depends, I guess. I gotta go. I’ll see you tonight though, okay?” She doesn’t wait for a reply before hanging up.
“Everything all right?” Mac asks him hopefully after he gets off the phone.
Logan feigns disinterest, shrugging off her question, but he can’t ignore the feeling that something is very wrong.
----------
“I’m pregnant. Pregnant. I’m...Hey, guess what? Oh god.”
She tries to picture his reaction. In scenario number one, he throws up immediately. That’s what she did anyway, after the crying. In scenario number two, he storms off, leaving her deserted at the airport. But she doesn’t really think he’d do that. In scenario number three, he jumps up and down in genuine happiness. She isn’t counting on that one either.
“I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant.”
“Mazel tov!” the elderly man in the next seat congratulates her. She offers him a weak smile before continuing practice.
When she gets off the plane, she repeats the words again and again, speaking them to the flight attendant, a teenage boy standing next to her by the luggage carousel, security. As she exits the airport, she spots Logan parked along the curb, nervously tapping the steering wheel of his BMW. He sees her and scrambles out of his car, rushing to make his way to her to grab her luggage. She doesn’t stop walking, just drops her bags along the way, calls out “I’m pregnant,” and hops in the passenger seat.
----------
The drive back to Neptune is mostly a quiet one. Logan’s mouth is hanging open a little more than usual, and he doesn’t take his eyes off the road until after they cross the Balboa County line.
“So how far along…when did this happen? I mean, how did this happen?”
“I don’t know,” she answers truthfully. “But the Pill’s not completely effective. I took the test after I was a week late. I didn’t go to a doctor yet.”
“Are you sure? If you didn’t go to a doctor-”
“I’m sure,” she bites, her jaw taut. She’d done the denial thing, true, but she doesn’t have the patience to deal with Logan’s journey through the five stages of grief. “I took three tests. They were all positive.”
“Jesus, Veronica. What are we going to do?” He runs a hand through his hair before bringing it back to tightly grip the steering wheel. “What do you want to do?”
She turns to look at him, even though eye contact isn’t possible if they want to avoid a car accident, but doesn’t offer any words.
“I mean, whatever you want to do, Veronica, I’ll support your decision. I’m here, okay?”
She rolls her eyes, which are already brimming with tears. “I appreciate your knack for saying the right thing, but I really don’t need that right now. Can you just tell me what you’re thinking? I…Do you hate me?” she asks, her voice cracking.
Logan looks at her in shock before pulling the car off onto the shoulder of the road. He shifts into park and turns to face her, reaching to touch her arm. “Hey, I could never hate you. I thought you would hate me. Blame me for ruining your career or something.”
She laughs in spite of herself. “Trust me, that’s the last thing on my mind,” she tells him, wiping her face. “We’ve got a lot to talk about, but long story short? I’m out.” She knows he’s about to protest, so she cuts him off at the pass. “It’s not because of the baby. I was planning this before I found out.”
He nods, his thumb rubbing gentle circles against her arm. “Let’s go to my house, okay? We’ll talk there.”
“Okay,” she replies, moving away from him. He stops her with one hand on her wrist, and gently caresses the side of her face, running his fingertips down along her jaw line. “Can I make a confession?” he whispers. She nods and he leans forward to rest his forehead against hers. “I…I don’t think this is the worst thing you could have told me.”
She smiles softly, taking his hand in hers. “If it’s a girl, I’m naming it Sheba.”
He pulls away from her suddenly. “I was wrong. I can hate you.” He smiles at her as he drives back onto the road. She knows he’s trying to make her feel better, but that he’s terrified, probably even more scared than her, because he associates the word ‘father’ with things far more awful than her associations with the word ‘mother.’ She isn’t sure if she should take comfort in knowing that she isn’t alone in worries regarding apples falling from trees, or if she should be sad for this child, not even the size of a quarter yet but already well fucked over.
----------
Veronica braces herself after knocking on the door to his suite. She hasn’t quite figured out what she wants to say to him, or why she is even there, but it is where she finds herself nonetheless.
He seems a little surprised to see her, but he opens the door wide and motions her inside. He closes the door after her and walks off to his bathroom, returning soon with a towel.
“Thanks,” Veronica tells him, taking it and using it wring the rainwater out from her hair as he takes a seat on the large leather couch.
“I read about your dad.”
“Yeah. That’s…because of me.”
“I figured.”
She sighs. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to take care of all of this with Gory. He won’t touch you.”
“Don’t bother Veronica. The last thing you need to be doing right now is blackmailing a crime family. Besides, I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself.”
“I owe you at least that much.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
She hands him the towel. “Sure I do. It’s not every day someone defends my honor.”
He pins her with a look, his eyebrows raised. “It wasn’t exactly the first time.”
“Will it be the last?” she asks suddenly, her voice a bit desperate.
“What do you want, Veronica?” He seems calm and collected, his question frighteningly straightforward.
She thinks she has to be insane, to be here like this. Logan had warned her about her stubbornness, about the risks she took. He had said so himself, only moments earlier, that he knew that she was the cause of her father’s troubles. So why does she feel like he is the only one in the world who can possibly understand her? When she doesn’t even understand herself? Does she expect his sympathy?
Maybe she is hoping that he will yell at her, say ‘I told you so,’ and kick her out of his room. Or maybe she wants him to hold her again and tell her that he's sorry. Not necessarily for anything that he did, but for the way the universe operates.
“I don’t know,” she answers honestly.
He moves around the coffee table to sit in front of her, their knees almost touching. “Look, this’ll blow over too, you know? It’s not like he’ll go to jail or anything.”
“It cost him the election,” she tells him, and he nods in understanding at the resignation in her voice.
“Do you think he regrets it, though? Protecting you?”
She looks up to meet his eyes and is taken aback by the gentleness she finds there. When his question goes unanswered, he continues. “C’mon, you know he doesn’t. You know he’d do it all again if he had to.”
If he had to.
“It’s not all your fault, Veronica. He probably wishes you didn’t do whatever it is you did, but then you wouldn’t exactly be you if you didn’t.”
She wants to take comfort from his words, but she knows he doesn’t know the whole story. She hadn’t exactly been as careful as she could have been. She probably got a little too cocky, too set in her ways. And it all could have been avoided if she was honest with her father in the first place, maybe sought his help and worked with him instead of trying to do it herself.
Oh, who is she kidding?
Logan seems to be lost in his own thoughts too, and he laughs softly, shaking his head. “It’s funny how the things you love most about someone can be the same things that drive you crazy.”
“Yeah,” she agrees, looking up to watch his face. Their eyes meet and his face falls. She’s shocked by how sad he looks, and suddenly she feels defeated, like this is status quo and nothing will ever get better.
“Your dad loves you, Veronica. And you love him. Everything will be okay.” With that, he stands up and goes to his room. Veronica sits for a second, thinking about his words, before she follows him.
“Logan-” she stops when she sees him packing a suitcase, and suddenly she’s panicking. “What are you doing?” she asks, incredulous.
He looks at her from over his shoulder, but keeps stuffing shirts into his bag. “Dick’s dad bailed again. Shocking, I know. We’re going to South America for the summer.”
She nods, relieved. It’s probably best for him to be away from Neptune for awhile. He’ll be safer that way, and it will give her some more time to figure out just exactly what she is going to do about Gorya Sorokin.
“I, uh, heard about your internship,” he tells her as he rolls up one of his polo shirts and shoves it into the suitcase. “Congratulations. I mean it.”
She smiles. “Thanks.”
“When do you leave?”
“Three weeks. How about you?”
“Three days,” he replies, smiling. “I’ve got one more final.”
“Yeah, how are those going?” she asks, taking a seat at the foot of his bed to watch him as he continues packing.
“Not too bad. It looks like I’ll be a sophomore next year.” He grins and she can’t help but return his smile.
She wants to tell him that she’s proud of him, that she knew he could do it, but she thinks he would take it the wrong way. She stays quiet and begins to help him fold some of his clothes. He takes a shirt from her, which she had just neatly folded, and rolls it up. “Here’s a packing tip: Rolling up your clothes saves room in the suitcase.”
“Mm, I don’t know about that.”
“They’re less likely to wrinkle, too. You’ll thank me when you’re in Virginia,” he tells her, zipping up the bag.
She pauses, watching him, before blurting out, “I’m sorry, Logan.”
He looks at her in surprise, but she continues. “I’m sorry about earlier, for saying you were out of my life for good. I don’t want that.”
“Good to know,” he replies, distant. He fiddles some more with his bag before placing it near the nightstand.
She looks down, tracing the seam of his bedspread with her fingertip. God, she wants him. She wants to kiss him, wants to pull him down on the bed with her, wants for him to make her forget about everything if only for a little while. She thinks about all of the time they spent together in this bed. Why couldn’t things be easy? Just for once?
“I love you, Veronica.”
His words shake her from her thoughts, and suddenly her heart’s beating rapidly against her chest. She looks up at him in shock, secretly thrilled by his declaration, but his expression confuses her. He looks sad.
“I realized earlier that I’m never going to stop loving you. No matter what, even if you don’t feel the same way. And you know, I’m okay with that. I mean, it still hurts. And it’s harder when you’re here. But it was kind of a relief, too.”
She’s flashing back to their second kiss, when he told her that he didn’t have to feel guilty anymore about moving on. That was the first time since Lilly’s death that Veronica felt really, truly happy. It wasn’t anything like how she felt with Troy or Leo, and she didn’t understand why, but she let herself enjoy it. Later, when she was alone, she thought about all of the reasons why it was wrong and about all of the ways it could blow up in her face. But in that moment, when his lips were against hers and they both admitted that they didn’t have any idea what they were doing, she was happy.
She remembers that night, the timber of his voice, the shrug of his shoulders, the shy way he looked at her. He was letting go of Lilly then, and suddenly Veronica’s terrified that he’s letting go of her now.
Her throat constricts painfully. She can’t take him giving up on her. Throughout their relationship, all she ever really wanted of Logan was for him to stay. Whenever she felt like she had that, she’d ask for more: Don’t get hurt, don’t hurt others, like what I like, want what I want. She knew her demands varied from perfectly reasonable to utterly unfair, but it was how she felt.
She's so confused. It doesn’t help her muddled feelings any that she is still angry with him, too. She is still angry about Madison. She is angry about Parker. If she wants to be completely honest, she is still angry about Hannah. Kendall. Lilly. She is angry with him because she was always waiting for the other shoe. And even though she was always scared by how much he seemed to love her, she was and is even more scared that one day he will love another girl more, or that maybe he already did.
She still doesn’t understand how, after everything they’d been through, he could say the things he said and be able to mean them. He threw around words like ‘epic’ and went slow when they made love. He talked about their future and held her against him when they slept. Logan has always been the single most astute person she has ever known. She still doesn’t understand how he hasn’t realized that they’re both broken. Maybe they could each pretend with others, but why try to fool themselves when they were together?
Sometimes he could be so convincing, she’d fall for it too. And that never ended well. She really thought Madison was the last straw, but it was still like a sucker punch to the gut when she saw him with Parker. When she got tired of the pain at seeing them together, she tried to tell herself that she was happy that he was happy, and that she could move on too. And she did try…
Why is she even here now?
She thinks about her father again. She already knows that later, she’ll go home and tell him that she’s sorry, and he’ll hug her. And they won’t talk about it anymore. She won’t offer any information or an explanation, and he won’t pry. Her dad has had it rough, and he’s certainly received more than his fair share of kicks when he was down, but he still has no idea how bad it actually is, and if Veronica has her way, he never will.
Logan knows more of her secrets than anyone else. She doesn’t feel like she has to protect him from the cold harsh world because he knows about it firsthand. She really did want to be able to be completely honest about everything with him, to be able to be with him, warts and all. When they got back together after winter break, she let herself believe that they could really make it work, that they could get to a place where they might be somewhat functional. She had missed him so much while they were apart, and she felt lighter and happier as soon as they were together again. She should have known it wouldn’t last long.
“Veronica?”
“Huh?” she asks absently, raising her eyes to his.
Logan’s kneeling on the bed now, directly in front of her, studying her face. A piece of her hair had escaped her damp ponytail, and he pushes it behind her ear. She’s so confused, but she leans into his touch. She thinks that if he tries to give her a goodbye line, she’ll kiss him to shut him up.
“You’re it for me,” he tells her, his dark eyes intense. “We’re connected. And I really think that one day we’ll work this out.”
Her mouth falls open in surprise. He’s not giving up on them. She thinks this might have been exactly what she wanted to hear.
“I wish you felt the same way now, but I think I’m going to be okay,” he tells her, and he smiles softly.
She moves closer to him, cupping his face in her hand. “I know I don’t say it, and sometimes I don’t even show it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel it.” That’s the best she can do right now. She thinks he might understand, and she promises herself that she’ll try to do better from now on.
They kiss, and it starts out slow and gentle but soon turns frenzied and passionate. She knows they should probably talk some more, maybe have a screaming match over all of the things that they’re both still upset about. At the very least, she should tell him that she and Piz ended things. But she tells herself, ‘Later’ and grips him tighter as he lowers her to the bed.
----------
It hasn’t even been two weeks since she was last in Neptune, when she had flown out to spend Christmas with her father and stay with Logan until New Year’s. She knew then that she was late, but she chalked it up to stress over the holidays and work. She didn’t dare mention it to Logan, who was enjoying all of their time together and kept her in his bed for most of her stay. Sex is a bigger part of their relationship now more than ever. They talk enough on the phone; when they actually get to see each other, it’s all about the physical.
She knows that if it was up to Logan, they would spend more time together. He works for himself, investing money in anything he feels is worth the risk, backing restaurants, websites, real-estate developments. He makes his own hours, travels a lot, and so he usually comes to her. During his last visit, about two weeks before Christmas, he casually mentioned that he was thinking about getting an apartment in Manhattan. She tried to backpedal, not because she didn’t want him around all the time, but because she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to stay in New York herself.
Their relationship was at its best before she found out she was pregnant. It was between them, and they didn’t rush to define anything. He knew that Veronica was focusing all of her energy on her career, and so he worked harder on his. Veronica knew that she could count on him for anything, and so she made a concentrated effort to be there for him. They had broken up and reunited more times than they remembered, but they’d been going strong for two years. Now, one of Veronica’s biggest fears is that this will be their undoing; that something that should bring couples closer together will end up ripping them apart.
She has to admit that he’s taking it better than she thought he would. At first she thinks it's an act for her benefit, but after she tells him that she doesn't want an abortion, he seems genuinely relieved. They talk for hours, and she finally confesses her long-held feelings of discontent over work and her plans to go back into the P.I business. He asks her to move in with him, at least for the pregnancy, and tells her that he wants to make this work.
She insists on going to the doctor’s alone, but only for her first appointment. When the blood test comes back positive, she thinks she’s almost happy. At least now she has some semblance of a plan; as scared as she is, she doesn’t feel lost.
The baby is due in late August, not too long after her own birthday, so she’ll be twenty-eight when she becomes a mother. After severing her ties with the FBI, and leaving behind New York, Veronica is eager to get back to work. Mars Investigations has been out of business for almost a year now, but the office is still available for rent. Logan wants to buy the building for her, saying that he knows a good investment when he sees one, but she wants to do this on her own.
She’s two months along and she knows she’ll have to tell her father soon. Keith is Sheriff again, if only because nobody else seems to want the job. He seems happy with his life, which now includes a very nice woman named Naomi, who Veronica dislikes only just a little. He’s utterly perplexed by Veronica’s decisions, however. She knows he’s disappointed when she quits the FBI. She knows he’s downright pissed off when she moves back to California and into Logan’s house. She can only imagine his reaction when she tells him she’s pregnant.
It doesn’t help that Logan and her father still do not get along. They can remain civil when forced together, but the tension is never less than palpable. Keith resents Logan for always popping up in Veronica life, and Logan is bitter over Keith’s blatant disapproval. He stopped trying to impress him a long time ago.
No matter, he wants to be with her when she tells her dad. They’re parked outside of the apartment complex now, the same building where she lived with him after her mother left. Veronica has been trying to prepare him, telling him over the phone that she has news and they need to talk, and that she’s bringing Logan. She hopes he’s expecting the worst, and that he doesn’t have a heart attack when he gets it.
He greets her with a hug and Logan by name. Naomi’s not there, and Veronica kind of wishes she was. There might be less yelling if they had to keep up appearances in front of his girlfriend.
Keith has prepared dinner, so all three sit at the kitchen island. She tries to make small talk, chatting about the office and her first client, a man suspecting his younger wife of having an affair. She can tell that he’s waiting for her to get to her point, the reason she’s there with Logan, who looks every bit as nervous as he feels.
“So, I have some news,” she begins, her voice cheerful. This shouldn’t be so hard.
He nods, waiting. She looks over to Logan, who stares back at her, and then turns to her father. “Dad, I’m pregnant.” She’s more comfortable with the idea, but not so much with the words.
Keith sets his fork down on his plate, and the silence in the room is painfully uncomfortable. “Is that why you left the FBI?” he asks after a beat, his jaw tight.
“No,” Veronica replies, annoyed. “If I wanted to stay with the FBI and have a baby, I could have.”
He turns his attention to Logan. “And what are you going to do about this?”
Logan smirks, and Veronica cringes on reflex. “Oh, haven’t I done enough?” he replies cockily, and she shoots daggers in his direction
Keith ignores him. “You ready to be a father?” he asks, using his interrogation tone.
Logan fidgets in his seat, but looks Keith in the eye. “Yeah. I am.”
“Really? And what do you know about being a father?” he asks, and Veronica closes her eyes and wishes that she were somewhere else.
“Well,” Logan begins earnestly, “I’ve been watching a lot of old sitcoms.” Keith rolls his eyes but Logan continues. “You know, Daddy Dearest and Make Room for Daddy. I figure anything with ‘Daddy’ in the title-”
“I’m serious.”
“What did you know about being a father?” Logan asks, angry now. “Is there some manual I don’t know about?”
Keith is about to reply when Veronica interrupts, her voice tight with tears. “Can we not do this now? Please? Aren’t people supposed to be happy about this? Can’t we just be happy?”
Logan reaches over to take her hand, and Keith has the decency to look ashamed. “Are you happy, honey?” he asks her.
Veronica nods, her eyes downcast. An outright ‘yes’ would be a lie, because she’s still not sure how she feels about this, it’s all happening so fast. But she knows she’s getting more used to the idea, and she’s not nearly as scared now as she was when she first found out.
Keith smiles at her, and takes her other hand. “Then I’m happy,” he tells her.
“You know I’m the one who knocked her up, right?” Logan asks, incredulous, and she knows he’s trying to break the tension with humor, but she digs her nails into his hand in retaliation.
“Oh Veronica,” Keith sighs in mock exasperation. “We really need to talk about your taste in men.”
She smiles, feeling as though a weight has been lifted from her shoulders now that her father knows. They go back to eating dinner, and she thinks that maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay this time around.
Chapter 2
Title: Everything Hits at Once- Chapter 1
Author:
annie_oakleyPairing/Character: Veronica, L/V, ensemble
Word Count: ~5000
Rating: R
Summary: More than fifteen years after Lilly's death, Veronica has to solve the most important case of her life.
Spoilers: Up to finale 3.20, 'The Bitch is Back'
Warnings: I went betaless for this first part, too, so all mistakes are mine. The prologue can be found here.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of Veronica Mars. No copyright infringement is intended.
Early January, 2015
Two lines. Two. Deep breath. Breathe out slowly. It’s only 98% accurate.
So is the Pill.
Fuck.
Veronica throws the pregnancy test into her bathroom trashcan. She’ll take another one tomorrow.
----------
A plus sign. Plus.
Okay then.
----------
Now this is a good test. The pharmacist recommended this one. She shouldn’t have even bothered with the store brand ones before.
She has to wait three minutes for the results, so she sits on the edge of the bathtub and hums “Yellow Submarine” in its entirety.
Before she looks, she promises herself that this will be the last test, results be damned. She’ll deal with it this time.
Pregnant. It’s right there in print.
Tears well in her eyes as she tries to control her breathing. She looks around her tiny bathroom, concentrating on the black and white patterns on the tile or the dark swirls in the marble sink and countertop. For the very first time, she wishes she didn’t live alone. She wants someone to talk to and confide in, someone who can give her advice or hold her and tell her everything will be all right.
Veronica marches into her bedroom and goes straight to her laptop. She needs to book a flight to Omaha.
----------
“May I help you,” the secretary asks, sans smile. She’s new, Veronica notes, wondering what happened to Rhonda.
“Yes, Veronica Mars for Agent Rosen.” She flashes her badge.
“Go ahead.”
Veronica smoothes down her skirt and forces her best fake smile before entering the office with purpose.
“Veronica!”
“Hey, Carla,” Veronica offers weakly, her resolve fading. “Surprise.”
The woman quickly moves from her desk to greet her, offering a professional handshake over a friendly hug.
“What in the world are you doing here? I thought you’d never set foot in Nebraska again. Your words, remember?”
“Yeah, I just needed someone to talk to, about something important. I was hoping you’d have some time for me?”
“You came all the way here to talk to me?”
“Well, I’m flying to California tonight, so you were on my way.” Carla eyes her skeptically and Veronica feels as nervous under her scrutiny as she did the first day they met.
“What did you want to talk about? I have a team meeting in an hour, but I’m all yours for now. Come on, have a seat,” she tells her, motioning to the office chairs. Veronica relaxes visibly before settling in across from her former mentor.
“I’m thinking about leaving the Bureau.” She thinks it’s best to be blunt.
“Leaving the Bureau?” Carla parrots, disbelief painting her face. “You want to quit?”
“I’m just, I’m not happy. I haven’t been for awhile now and-”
“Veronica,” Carla interrupts, her voice stern. “You know I like you. And I don’t like very many people. I think you’re smart and capable. You’re good at what you do-”
“I know, but I-”
Carla raises her hand, cutting Veronica off mid-sentence. “We’ve bent a hell of a lot of rules for you.”
“I know. I do. And I appreciate it, really. This has been a great opportunity.”
“The FBI isn’t an opportunity, Veronica. It’s not something you jot down on your résumé or use as a stepping stone to something else. This is the end-game. This is what you worked for.”
“I just don’t think it’s for me,” Veronica returns, her voice breaking ever so slightly.
Carla sighs in frustration. “What, is it New York? The busiest field agency in the country bores you too?” Veronica shakes her head solemnly, unable to look Carla in the eye.
“I’m pregnant.”
As scared as she is, she has to derive some pleasure from the older woman’s expression. Shock never looked so good.
“I…I didn’t even know you were dating anyone,” she says.
Veronica shrugs. “We don’t really call it dating.”
“Spare the gory details.”
“Consider yourself spared.”
“You don’t have to quit just because you’re pregnant, Veronica,” Carla says, getting back to the matter at hand. “There’s maternity leave, and then you can go part-time. I don’t want you to throw away your career over this. It’s not 1955.”
“I’m not happy!” Veronica speaks, a bit louder than she intended. “I kept thinking, ‘Okay, I just don’t like the Academy. It’ll be better when I’m done training.’ And then it was, ‘It’s just Omaha. It’ll be better when I’m in New York.’ But it’s not, Carla. It’s me. I’m not cut out for this.”
“How can you even say that? After all you’ve done?”
“It’s not that I don’t think I can do it anymore. It’s that I don’t want to do it anymore. Look, I admire you so much. Five years ago, I wanted to be you. But nothing was like I thought it would be.”
“You knew what you were getting into. I warned you.”
“I didn’t listen,” Veronica bites back, the edge in her voice startling the other woman. “And it’s not just because I’m pregnant, okay? This was far from planned, but I was going to meet with Sturges about everything before I found out. I wanted to get back into private investigation.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?” she asks, her voice softer now.
“I was, before all this. I’m not sure of anything right now.”
“Oh, Veronica, what am I going to do with you?” Veronica has to smile. In recent years, Carla has been the closest thing Veronica has to a mother. Mother. Veronica’s smile falters under the very thought of that word.
----------
Logan pads across the room in bare feet, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “HOLD ON!” he yells to the impatient person continuously ringing the doorbell.
He unlocks the large mahogany door and throws it open, ready and willing to yell at whoever had the nerve to drop by so early in the morning.
“Echolls.”
He sighs. “Mackenzie. You rang?”
Mac is leaning against the door frame, smiling brightly. “You’re looking quite handsome this morning.”
“Why are you acting weird?” Logan asks, his face scrunched.
Mac straightens, clearly affronted. “I was flirting.”
“Ew. Why?”
She rolls her eyes, pushing past him to enter his house. “Have you ever been at your computer, maybe checking your email, instant messaging, surfing for porn…whatever. And then, suddenly, poof!” she motions dramatically with her hands, “There it goes. Windows Tesla strikes again?”
“I have an iBook.”
“You’re a good man, Logan. But not everyone is.”
“How much do you want?”
“You don’t even want to know what it’s for?”
“Does it matter?”
“Ten thousand. You will, of course, be paid back in full. Plus interest.”
“I’ll write you a check,” he says, leading her into the den. Once in the large room, Mac fiddles with an electronic pencil sharpener as Logan searches the messy desktop for his checkbook. He is just about to sign his name when the phone rings.
“Yeah,” he answers, cradling the receiver in the crook of his neck as he tears the check along the perforated edge.
“Hey, it’s me.”
“It’s Veronica,” he mouths to Mac. “Hey. Mac’s here, begging again,” he speaks into the phone. “Hold on and I’ll put you on speaker.” Veronica is about to protest but Logan doesn’t give her the chance.
“Veronica!” Mac calls out excitedly. “How’s tricks? Did you find Osama yet?”
“Uh, not yet. What’s up?”
“Not much. Logan thinks I’m putting this money into the Hertz prototype, but I’m going on a bender in Vegas.”
“Maybe I’ll join you. Hey, I need to talk to Logan now, but I’ll call you later, okay?”
Mac shares a strange look with Logan but quickly answers back with a, “Yeah, sure. Bye!”
“What’s going on?” Logan asks after taking Veronica off speakerphone.
“Are you going to be around for the next few days? I need to see you.”
“Miss me already?” he teases.
“It’s important, Logan,” she replies, her tone leaving no room for jokes.
“Yeah, okay. You want me to book a flight?”
“I’m coming there. I have to meet with someone first, but my plane gets in tonight at eight. Can you pick me up at the airport?”
“Sure. Are you staying with your dad or here?”
“Um, depends, I guess. I gotta go. I’ll see you tonight though, okay?” She doesn’t wait for a reply before hanging up.
“Everything all right?” Mac asks him hopefully after he gets off the phone.
Logan feigns disinterest, shrugging off her question, but he can’t ignore the feeling that something is very wrong.
----------
“I’m pregnant. Pregnant. I’m...Hey, guess what? Oh god.”
She tries to picture his reaction. In scenario number one, he throws up immediately. That’s what she did anyway, after the crying. In scenario number two, he storms off, leaving her deserted at the airport. But she doesn’t really think he’d do that. In scenario number three, he jumps up and down in genuine happiness. She isn’t counting on that one either.
“I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant.”
“Mazel tov!” the elderly man in the next seat congratulates her. She offers him a weak smile before continuing practice.
When she gets off the plane, she repeats the words again and again, speaking them to the flight attendant, a teenage boy standing next to her by the luggage carousel, security. As she exits the airport, she spots Logan parked along the curb, nervously tapping the steering wheel of his BMW. He sees her and scrambles out of his car, rushing to make his way to her to grab her luggage. She doesn’t stop walking, just drops her bags along the way, calls out “I’m pregnant,” and hops in the passenger seat.
----------
The drive back to Neptune is mostly a quiet one. Logan’s mouth is hanging open a little more than usual, and he doesn’t take his eyes off the road until after they cross the Balboa County line.
“So how far along…when did this happen? I mean, how did this happen?”
“I don’t know,” she answers truthfully. “But the Pill’s not completely effective. I took the test after I was a week late. I didn’t go to a doctor yet.”
“Are you sure? If you didn’t go to a doctor-”
“I’m sure,” she bites, her jaw taut. She’d done the denial thing, true, but she doesn’t have the patience to deal with Logan’s journey through the five stages of grief. “I took three tests. They were all positive.”
“Jesus, Veronica. What are we going to do?” He runs a hand through his hair before bringing it back to tightly grip the steering wheel. “What do you want to do?”
She turns to look at him, even though eye contact isn’t possible if they want to avoid a car accident, but doesn’t offer any words.
“I mean, whatever you want to do, Veronica, I’ll support your decision. I’m here, okay?”
She rolls her eyes, which are already brimming with tears. “I appreciate your knack for saying the right thing, but I really don’t need that right now. Can you just tell me what you’re thinking? I…Do you hate me?” she asks, her voice cracking.
Logan looks at her in shock before pulling the car off onto the shoulder of the road. He shifts into park and turns to face her, reaching to touch her arm. “Hey, I could never hate you. I thought you would hate me. Blame me for ruining your career or something.”
She laughs in spite of herself. “Trust me, that’s the last thing on my mind,” she tells him, wiping her face. “We’ve got a lot to talk about, but long story short? I’m out.” She knows he’s about to protest, so she cuts him off at the pass. “It’s not because of the baby. I was planning this before I found out.”
He nods, his thumb rubbing gentle circles against her arm. “Let’s go to my house, okay? We’ll talk there.”
“Okay,” she replies, moving away from him. He stops her with one hand on her wrist, and gently caresses the side of her face, running his fingertips down along her jaw line. “Can I make a confession?” he whispers. She nods and he leans forward to rest his forehead against hers. “I…I don’t think this is the worst thing you could have told me.”
She smiles softly, taking his hand in hers. “If it’s a girl, I’m naming it Sheba.”
He pulls away from her suddenly. “I was wrong. I can hate you.” He smiles at her as he drives back onto the road. She knows he’s trying to make her feel better, but that he’s terrified, probably even more scared than her, because he associates the word ‘father’ with things far more awful than her associations with the word ‘mother.’ She isn’t sure if she should take comfort in knowing that she isn’t alone in worries regarding apples falling from trees, or if she should be sad for this child, not even the size of a quarter yet but already well fucked over.
----------
Veronica braces herself after knocking on the door to his suite. She hasn’t quite figured out what she wants to say to him, or why she is even there, but it is where she finds herself nonetheless.
He seems a little surprised to see her, but he opens the door wide and motions her inside. He closes the door after her and walks off to his bathroom, returning soon with a towel.
“Thanks,” Veronica tells him, taking it and using it wring the rainwater out from her hair as he takes a seat on the large leather couch.
“I read about your dad.”
“Yeah. That’s…because of me.”
“I figured.”
She sighs. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to take care of all of this with Gory. He won’t touch you.”
“Don’t bother Veronica. The last thing you need to be doing right now is blackmailing a crime family. Besides, I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself.”
“I owe you at least that much.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
She hands him the towel. “Sure I do. It’s not every day someone defends my honor.”
He pins her with a look, his eyebrows raised. “It wasn’t exactly the first time.”
“Will it be the last?” she asks suddenly, her voice a bit desperate.
“What do you want, Veronica?” He seems calm and collected, his question frighteningly straightforward.
She thinks she has to be insane, to be here like this. Logan had warned her about her stubbornness, about the risks she took. He had said so himself, only moments earlier, that he knew that she was the cause of her father’s troubles. So why does she feel like he is the only one in the world who can possibly understand her? When she doesn’t even understand herself? Does she expect his sympathy?
Maybe she is hoping that he will yell at her, say ‘I told you so,’ and kick her out of his room. Or maybe she wants him to hold her again and tell her that he's sorry. Not necessarily for anything that he did, but for the way the universe operates.
“I don’t know,” she answers honestly.
He moves around the coffee table to sit in front of her, their knees almost touching. “Look, this’ll blow over too, you know? It’s not like he’ll go to jail or anything.”
“It cost him the election,” she tells him, and he nods in understanding at the resignation in her voice.
“Do you think he regrets it, though? Protecting you?”
She looks up to meet his eyes and is taken aback by the gentleness she finds there. When his question goes unanswered, he continues. “C’mon, you know he doesn’t. You know he’d do it all again if he had to.”
If he had to.
“It’s not all your fault, Veronica. He probably wishes you didn’t do whatever it is you did, but then you wouldn’t exactly be you if you didn’t.”
She wants to take comfort from his words, but she knows he doesn’t know the whole story. She hadn’t exactly been as careful as she could have been. She probably got a little too cocky, too set in her ways. And it all could have been avoided if she was honest with her father in the first place, maybe sought his help and worked with him instead of trying to do it herself.
Oh, who is she kidding?
Logan seems to be lost in his own thoughts too, and he laughs softly, shaking his head. “It’s funny how the things you love most about someone can be the same things that drive you crazy.”
“Yeah,” she agrees, looking up to watch his face. Their eyes meet and his face falls. She’s shocked by how sad he looks, and suddenly she feels defeated, like this is status quo and nothing will ever get better.
“Your dad loves you, Veronica. And you love him. Everything will be okay.” With that, he stands up and goes to his room. Veronica sits for a second, thinking about his words, before she follows him.
“Logan-” she stops when she sees him packing a suitcase, and suddenly she’s panicking. “What are you doing?” she asks, incredulous.
He looks at her from over his shoulder, but keeps stuffing shirts into his bag. “Dick’s dad bailed again. Shocking, I know. We’re going to South America for the summer.”
She nods, relieved. It’s probably best for him to be away from Neptune for awhile. He’ll be safer that way, and it will give her some more time to figure out just exactly what she is going to do about Gorya Sorokin.
“I, uh, heard about your internship,” he tells her as he rolls up one of his polo shirts and shoves it into the suitcase. “Congratulations. I mean it.”
She smiles. “Thanks.”
“When do you leave?”
“Three weeks. How about you?”
“Three days,” he replies, smiling. “I’ve got one more final.”
“Yeah, how are those going?” she asks, taking a seat at the foot of his bed to watch him as he continues packing.
“Not too bad. It looks like I’ll be a sophomore next year.” He grins and she can’t help but return his smile.
She wants to tell him that she’s proud of him, that she knew he could do it, but she thinks he would take it the wrong way. She stays quiet and begins to help him fold some of his clothes. He takes a shirt from her, which she had just neatly folded, and rolls it up. “Here’s a packing tip: Rolling up your clothes saves room in the suitcase.”
“Mm, I don’t know about that.”
“They’re less likely to wrinkle, too. You’ll thank me when you’re in Virginia,” he tells her, zipping up the bag.
She pauses, watching him, before blurting out, “I’m sorry, Logan.”
He looks at her in surprise, but she continues. “I’m sorry about earlier, for saying you were out of my life for good. I don’t want that.”
“Good to know,” he replies, distant. He fiddles some more with his bag before placing it near the nightstand.
She looks down, tracing the seam of his bedspread with her fingertip. God, she wants him. She wants to kiss him, wants to pull him down on the bed with her, wants for him to make her forget about everything if only for a little while. She thinks about all of the time they spent together in this bed. Why couldn’t things be easy? Just for once?
“I love you, Veronica.”
His words shake her from her thoughts, and suddenly her heart’s beating rapidly against her chest. She looks up at him in shock, secretly thrilled by his declaration, but his expression confuses her. He looks sad.
“I realized earlier that I’m never going to stop loving you. No matter what, even if you don’t feel the same way. And you know, I’m okay with that. I mean, it still hurts. And it’s harder when you’re here. But it was kind of a relief, too.”
She’s flashing back to their second kiss, when he told her that he didn’t have to feel guilty anymore about moving on. That was the first time since Lilly’s death that Veronica felt really, truly happy. It wasn’t anything like how she felt with Troy or Leo, and she didn’t understand why, but she let herself enjoy it. Later, when she was alone, she thought about all of the reasons why it was wrong and about all of the ways it could blow up in her face. But in that moment, when his lips were against hers and they both admitted that they didn’t have any idea what they were doing, she was happy.
She remembers that night, the timber of his voice, the shrug of his shoulders, the shy way he looked at her. He was letting go of Lilly then, and suddenly Veronica’s terrified that he’s letting go of her now.
Her throat constricts painfully. She can’t take him giving up on her. Throughout their relationship, all she ever really wanted of Logan was for him to stay. Whenever she felt like she had that, she’d ask for more: Don’t get hurt, don’t hurt others, like what I like, want what I want. She knew her demands varied from perfectly reasonable to utterly unfair, but it was how she felt.
She's so confused. It doesn’t help her muddled feelings any that she is still angry with him, too. She is still angry about Madison. She is angry about Parker. If she wants to be completely honest, she is still angry about Hannah. Kendall. Lilly. She is angry with him because she was always waiting for the other shoe. And even though she was always scared by how much he seemed to love her, she was and is even more scared that one day he will love another girl more, or that maybe he already did.
She still doesn’t understand how, after everything they’d been through, he could say the things he said and be able to mean them. He threw around words like ‘epic’ and went slow when they made love. He talked about their future and held her against him when they slept. Logan has always been the single most astute person she has ever known. She still doesn’t understand how he hasn’t realized that they’re both broken. Maybe they could each pretend with others, but why try to fool themselves when they were together?
Sometimes he could be so convincing, she’d fall for it too. And that never ended well. She really thought Madison was the last straw, but it was still like a sucker punch to the gut when she saw him with Parker. When she got tired of the pain at seeing them together, she tried to tell herself that she was happy that he was happy, and that she could move on too. And she did try…
Why is she even here now?
She thinks about her father again. She already knows that later, she’ll go home and tell him that she’s sorry, and he’ll hug her. And they won’t talk about it anymore. She won’t offer any information or an explanation, and he won’t pry. Her dad has had it rough, and he’s certainly received more than his fair share of kicks when he was down, but he still has no idea how bad it actually is, and if Veronica has her way, he never will.
Logan knows more of her secrets than anyone else. She doesn’t feel like she has to protect him from the cold harsh world because he knows about it firsthand. She really did want to be able to be completely honest about everything with him, to be able to be with him, warts and all. When they got back together after winter break, she let herself believe that they could really make it work, that they could get to a place where they might be somewhat functional. She had missed him so much while they were apart, and she felt lighter and happier as soon as they were together again. She should have known it wouldn’t last long.
“Veronica?”
“Huh?” she asks absently, raising her eyes to his.
Logan’s kneeling on the bed now, directly in front of her, studying her face. A piece of her hair had escaped her damp ponytail, and he pushes it behind her ear. She’s so confused, but she leans into his touch. She thinks that if he tries to give her a goodbye line, she’ll kiss him to shut him up.
“You’re it for me,” he tells her, his dark eyes intense. “We’re connected. And I really think that one day we’ll work this out.”
Her mouth falls open in surprise. He’s not giving up on them. She thinks this might have been exactly what she wanted to hear.
“I wish you felt the same way now, but I think I’m going to be okay,” he tells her, and he smiles softly.
She moves closer to him, cupping his face in her hand. “I know I don’t say it, and sometimes I don’t even show it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel it.” That’s the best she can do right now. She thinks he might understand, and she promises herself that she’ll try to do better from now on.
They kiss, and it starts out slow and gentle but soon turns frenzied and passionate. She knows they should probably talk some more, maybe have a screaming match over all of the things that they’re both still upset about. At the very least, she should tell him that she and Piz ended things. But she tells herself, ‘Later’ and grips him tighter as he lowers her to the bed.
----------
It hasn’t even been two weeks since she was last in Neptune, when she had flown out to spend Christmas with her father and stay with Logan until New Year’s. She knew then that she was late, but she chalked it up to stress over the holidays and work. She didn’t dare mention it to Logan, who was enjoying all of their time together and kept her in his bed for most of her stay. Sex is a bigger part of their relationship now more than ever. They talk enough on the phone; when they actually get to see each other, it’s all about the physical.
She knows that if it was up to Logan, they would spend more time together. He works for himself, investing money in anything he feels is worth the risk, backing restaurants, websites, real-estate developments. He makes his own hours, travels a lot, and so he usually comes to her. During his last visit, about two weeks before Christmas, he casually mentioned that he was thinking about getting an apartment in Manhattan. She tried to backpedal, not because she didn’t want him around all the time, but because she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to stay in New York herself.
Their relationship was at its best before she found out she was pregnant. It was between them, and they didn’t rush to define anything. He knew that Veronica was focusing all of her energy on her career, and so he worked harder on his. Veronica knew that she could count on him for anything, and so she made a concentrated effort to be there for him. They had broken up and reunited more times than they remembered, but they’d been going strong for two years. Now, one of Veronica’s biggest fears is that this will be their undoing; that something that should bring couples closer together will end up ripping them apart.
She has to admit that he’s taking it better than she thought he would. At first she thinks it's an act for her benefit, but after she tells him that she doesn't want an abortion, he seems genuinely relieved. They talk for hours, and she finally confesses her long-held feelings of discontent over work and her plans to go back into the P.I business. He asks her to move in with him, at least for the pregnancy, and tells her that he wants to make this work.
She insists on going to the doctor’s alone, but only for her first appointment. When the blood test comes back positive, she thinks she’s almost happy. At least now she has some semblance of a plan; as scared as she is, she doesn’t feel lost.
The baby is due in late August, not too long after her own birthday, so she’ll be twenty-eight when she becomes a mother. After severing her ties with the FBI, and leaving behind New York, Veronica is eager to get back to work. Mars Investigations has been out of business for almost a year now, but the office is still available for rent. Logan wants to buy the building for her, saying that he knows a good investment when he sees one, but she wants to do this on her own.
She’s two months along and she knows she’ll have to tell her father soon. Keith is Sheriff again, if only because nobody else seems to want the job. He seems happy with his life, which now includes a very nice woman named Naomi, who Veronica dislikes only just a little. He’s utterly perplexed by Veronica’s decisions, however. She knows he’s disappointed when she quits the FBI. She knows he’s downright pissed off when she moves back to California and into Logan’s house. She can only imagine his reaction when she tells him she’s pregnant.
It doesn’t help that Logan and her father still do not get along. They can remain civil when forced together, but the tension is never less than palpable. Keith resents Logan for always popping up in Veronica life, and Logan is bitter over Keith’s blatant disapproval. He stopped trying to impress him a long time ago.
No matter, he wants to be with her when she tells her dad. They’re parked outside of the apartment complex now, the same building where she lived with him after her mother left. Veronica has been trying to prepare him, telling him over the phone that she has news and they need to talk, and that she’s bringing Logan. She hopes he’s expecting the worst, and that he doesn’t have a heart attack when he gets it.
He greets her with a hug and Logan by name. Naomi’s not there, and Veronica kind of wishes she was. There might be less yelling if they had to keep up appearances in front of his girlfriend.
Keith has prepared dinner, so all three sit at the kitchen island. She tries to make small talk, chatting about the office and her first client, a man suspecting his younger wife of having an affair. She can tell that he’s waiting for her to get to her point, the reason she’s there with Logan, who looks every bit as nervous as he feels.
“So, I have some news,” she begins, her voice cheerful. This shouldn’t be so hard.
He nods, waiting. She looks over to Logan, who stares back at her, and then turns to her father. “Dad, I’m pregnant.” She’s more comfortable with the idea, but not so much with the words.
Keith sets his fork down on his plate, and the silence in the room is painfully uncomfortable. “Is that why you left the FBI?” he asks after a beat, his jaw tight.
“No,” Veronica replies, annoyed. “If I wanted to stay with the FBI and have a baby, I could have.”
He turns his attention to Logan. “And what are you going to do about this?”
Logan smirks, and Veronica cringes on reflex. “Oh, haven’t I done enough?” he replies cockily, and she shoots daggers in his direction
Keith ignores him. “You ready to be a father?” he asks, using his interrogation tone.
Logan fidgets in his seat, but looks Keith in the eye. “Yeah. I am.”
“Really? And what do you know about being a father?” he asks, and Veronica closes her eyes and wishes that she were somewhere else.
“Well,” Logan begins earnestly, “I’ve been watching a lot of old sitcoms.” Keith rolls his eyes but Logan continues. “You know, Daddy Dearest and Make Room for Daddy. I figure anything with ‘Daddy’ in the title-”
“I’m serious.”
“What did you know about being a father?” Logan asks, angry now. “Is there some manual I don’t know about?”
Keith is about to reply when Veronica interrupts, her voice tight with tears. “Can we not do this now? Please? Aren’t people supposed to be happy about this? Can’t we just be happy?”
Logan reaches over to take her hand, and Keith has the decency to look ashamed. “Are you happy, honey?” he asks her.
Veronica nods, her eyes downcast. An outright ‘yes’ would be a lie, because she’s still not sure how she feels about this, it’s all happening so fast. But she knows she’s getting more used to the idea, and she’s not nearly as scared now as she was when she first found out.
Keith smiles at her, and takes her other hand. “Then I’m happy,” he tells her.
“You know I’m the one who knocked her up, right?” Logan asks, incredulous, and she knows he’s trying to break the tension with humor, but she digs her nails into his hand in retaliation.
“Oh Veronica,” Keith sighs in mock exasperation. “We really need to talk about your taste in men.”
She smiles, feeling as though a weight has been lifted from her shoulders now that her father knows. They go back to eating dinner, and she thinks that maybe, just maybe, everything will be okay this time around.
Chapter 2
