Tipper Q. Danger ([info]kitchenwitch) wrote in [info]twin_cities,
@ 2006-06-19 18:53:00
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Current mood:annoyed

Personal experiences with changing one's name legally, please!
My fiance and I went to get our marriage license today, and hoped to change our last name to something other than his current last name. We were told that we couldn't do what we wanted (drop his last name and use his middle name), though I could take his current last name, or he could take my last name as his middle name (the two examples we were given by the clerk). I was under the impression that we could pretty much change our names to whatever we wanted, since I haven't seen or heard anything otherwise. (And I could've sworn I've heard of others doing the same.)

So, our option is to, apparently, keep our names when we get married and go through the court system to get our name changed legally after the fact. Has anyone else done this, or were we given bad information at the service center? (It sure as heck would be nice to avoid paying $252 each, and I sure wish I knew this was the case ahead of time, so my groom's name could've been changed earlier.)

If anyone has any personal experiences or knowledge to share, I'd love to hear.


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[info]gwangi
2006-06-19 11:58 pm UTC (link)
One of my good buddies got divorced recently, and wanted to change his name at the time. He figured that since his now-ex-wife could change her name back to her maiden one, he would be able to change his, too. He went around and around with the legal people, but finally lost and had to pay the $250.

Of course, his name is now Rock Fonzarelli Nythartholtep Awesome ('Rock F.N. Awesome'. No, really, that's his legal name.), so the court might have thought he was just joking around with them during the divorce proceedings. So the moral of the story is that you might just be out of luck. The law doesn't seem to have much flexability.

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 12:13 am UTC (link)
Your buddy is hilarious, and I suspect you're probably right. I am just a tad bit annoyed that they don't bother mentioning this ahead of time.

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[info]kevelyn63
2006-06-20 09:27 pm UTC (link)
Well in Ramsey County at least, it depends on which forms you use whether or not you can change your name as part of the divorce.

If you use the joint petition for dissolution, both of you have the option of changing your name. (but there are other things that you cannot have/do, which are an option on the sole petition)

If you are the respondent on a petition for dissolution, then you have to take care of changing your name on your own, outside of the divorce process. Only the petitioner has the option of changing his/her name as part of the process.

It makes sense, actually once I thought about it. If you were not the one to ask for the divorce, then you don't have the option to ask for your name to be changed, because the proceedings would have been set into motion without you.

So at the end of the day, the flexibility is there you just have to know where to look for it. :)

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[info]aedifica
2006-06-20 12:02 am UTC (link)
In Iowa you can change your name at the time of marriage to anything you want. At divorce, you can keep your name as is or change it back to your "maiden" name.

I don't know the specifics for Minnesota, so this may not be helpful for you--but throwing it in there just in case.

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 12:12 am UTC (link)
I wish I lived in Iowa. *sob*

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[info]kayepants
2006-06-20 12:11 am UTC (link)
I've had friends change their names, and they had to go to court.

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 12:12 am UTC (link)
Name change during/after marriage?

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[info]kayepants
2006-06-20 12:35 am UTC (link)
well, no - they were legally changing to their drag names.

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[info]damncutekitty
2006-06-20 12:29 am UTC (link)
I got divorced recently and was told I could change my name to whatever I wanted. I dropped my last name entirely and am using my middle name now. Seems odd that you can't do that for marriage. Are you sure you did not just get a bitchy clerk?

When I went to change my driver's license I had a real wench at the DMV insist that it was illegal to not have a middle name even though I had a certified copy of my divorce decree with me. All signed by a judge and everything.

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 02:29 am UTC (link)
It seems very odd, and I think the clerk might've been a bit green, and thought, "No one does this, so that means it can't be done!"

Given that I've been searching the internets half the night and keep hearing that such clerks cannot give "interpretations," I wager that it wasn't even in the clerk's sphere of ability to say anything.

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[info]damncutekitty
2006-06-20 12:07 pm UTC (link)
I think you are right. Also, I have 2 friends who made up a new last name when they got married. They had no problem doing that- and that was only about 2 years ago.

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[info]sterlingphoenix
2006-06-20 02:44 pm UTC (link)
I had a real wench at the DMV insist that it was illegal to not have a middle name

WTF? I've never had a middle name!

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[info]dorje
2006-06-20 01:02 am UTC (link)
i'm pretty sure that the female, at least, at the time of marriage can change her name to whatever she likes. i would try a different clerk

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 02:30 am UTC (link)
Unfortunately, we plunked down the money for a license, so we're going to have to amass an arsenal and try to get them to correct their error, assuming there is one (and it looks like that's the case).

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[info]iamnotmagic
2006-06-20 01:48 pm UTC (link)
It costs $ to redo a license unfortunately- even if it was their mistake since you agreed to it, it will be called a 'revised license' the fee, however, is less than the original & the wait period is not extended.

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 01:49 pm UTC (link)
Well, as long as it's less than $100 and we can get our way, I will be happy. Sure beats spending $504 to change our names their way! :)

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[info]spongebobjess
2006-06-22 12:51 am UTC (link)
I'm saying! I wanted to change my displayed middle name from Lynn to Valentine. They are both my middle names, just Lynn is displayed on my DL and Valentine isn't. They told me it was a name change and that I had to do it elsewhere. What a bunch of crap!

SBj

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[info]notkellykelly
2006-06-20 01:05 am UTC (link)
Both my husband and I took a new last name when we got married. We were not given any hassle and I seem to recall that we were told you could choose any last name for your marriage license. FWIW, we went to the Dakota County service center in Apple Valley for our license (you can get your license from any county, you are not limited to the county in which you are getting married).

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 02:30 am UTC (link)
*shakes fist at the gods*

Thank you for confirming that I am not crazy for believing it could be done!

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[info]darkjuan
2006-06-20 01:08 am UTC (link)
My friends did the same thing. They had their name changed on the marriage license... no hassle no worries. not sure where they got it done though.

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 02:31 am UTC (link)
Thanks for the input!!

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[info]ej
2006-06-20 01:08 am UTC (link)
My understanding is, as long as your husband has no criminal record, he should be able to change his name to whatever he wants. On the marriage license applications for both Hennepin and Ramsey County, there are spaces for both the bride and groom to submit their names after marriage.

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[info]gloomchen
2006-06-20 01:48 am UTC (link)
Indeed. I didn't do anything non-traditional, but we were told, "this is the time you can change your names to anything you want." This was at the Edina funtimeland joyhouse of love if you want a specific destination.

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[info]harveytchainsaw
2006-06-20 02:10 am UTC (link)
This was at the Edina funtimeland joyhouse of love if you want a specific destination.

You better believe I LOL'D.

And actually, if that place is as you describe it, even sarcastically, I want to know where it is, if for no other reason than simply knowing.

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[info]gloomchen
2006-06-20 02:28 am UTC (link)
Hehehe... 70th and York, by the Southdale Mall and the super-pathetic Target Greatlands store that always makes me cry because they don't have anything I want that I can manage to find at every other Target.

I enjoy its overly-complicated parking lot and the employees who don't understand leet-speak license plate requests.

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[info]monkeytonic
2006-06-20 04:14 am UTC (link)
OMG! That's where you go to be picked up for STS (or, really, community service).

ILSHIV!!!

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 02:32 am UTC (link)
Thanks for the input! I now am wishing I would've gone there instead. That way I could've even had falafel for lunch like I wanted. Let's just hope the wedding goes more smoothly than this...

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 02:31 am UTC (link)
That's what I thought.

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[info]julia_spring
2006-06-20 01:19 am UTC (link)
If you live in Minnesota and will be getting married here, there is a place on the form for "Wifes name after marriage" and "Husbands name after marriage". I did it 7 years ago and we both took a new name for the new family.

We did have to certify that one of us was male and the other female. I offered to show them, but my partner's fear prevailed and I shut up.

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 02:02 am UTC (link)
Yeah, we filled out the form with the names we wanted after marriage and were told, "You can't do that!"

Apparently, we are going to have to go back and get things straightened out, since, idiotically, we actually took them at their word.

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[info]lamialilitu
2006-06-20 02:53 am UTC (link)
Lemme guess.. you went to Hennepin County, yes? The are ass-hats about it. The marriage statute is specifically worded to allow you to have a unique surname/name-change, but the Hennepin County service counters have an internal policy to only allow logical derivatives of the pre-married name(s). If you've already forked over the money, see what you can do to get it cancelled.. Then just go up to Columbia Heights (Anoka County) and give them your fee money. We had exactly the same problem. You can try and argue with Hennepin County if you want, but we didn't get very far with that. They just suck when it comes to the marriage name thing. Write Amy Klobuchar a letter.

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 03:24 am UTC (link)
THANK YOU! That is very valuable advice. I'll pass the info onto my fiance and see if he can get it straightened out.

Did you pay and get it cancelled? Is there some sort of magic word we must use? I was considering stopping payment on the check, until I realized that we didn't pay with a check, but our check card.

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[info]lamialilitu
2006-06-20 12:53 pm UTC (link)
No, when they told us we couldn't have the names that we wanted, we just walked away. I knew it wasn't right because another couple we knew at the time had done the unique surname thing. We called them and that's who told us to go to Columbia Heights.

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 01:03 pm UTC (link)
That was my instinct! I should've done that in the first place.

Thanks again for your advice!

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[info]kevelyn63
2006-06-20 02:53 am UTC (link)
Ok. I know this one, esp since I've both married and divorced in MN.

When you marry you can change your name to whatever you want (both of you).

When people divorce, depending on which form you fill out, you may or may not have to do a name change separately from the divorce. I won't go into the details since you have already stated you want to know about marriage.

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 03:25 am UTC (link)
I've already done the divorce thing myself. :) I remember that I was considering a very drastic name change, just because I could!

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[info]kevelyn63
2006-06-20 09:43 pm UTC (link)
I have a coworker who, between her divorce and subsequent marriage to someone else, changed her name to something like 'Bliss' because she knew she would be changing it again when she got married again.

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[info]sterlingphoenix
2006-06-20 03:39 am UTC (link)
I love the idea of both people changing their names to something new.

If they don't have that on the form, I don't think there's anything wrong with going through the courts. Go for it together!

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 11:00 am UTC (link)
They DO have it on the form, which is the problem. The place we went to said it couldn't be done there, which seems to be bullcrap.

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[info]sterlingphoenix
2006-06-20 02:47 pm UTC (link)
Gah! I hate when that happens. Can you raise hell?

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[info]kitchenwitch
2006-06-20 02:49 pm UTC (link)
I certainly intend to! ;)

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[info]sterlingphoenix
2006-06-20 02:54 pm UTC (link)
Excellent. Too often bureaucrats do Bad Things to us and we just sit there and take it!

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[info]iamnotmagic
2006-06-20 01:42 pm UTC (link)
my husband & i recently got married in ramsey county (couthouse) & changed both our last names (I'm divorced also) to an entirely new name with no hassle.

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[info]iamnotmagic
2006-06-20 01:43 pm UTC (link)
well no hassle except on the part of our families :P

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[info]toomanystrings
2006-06-20 03:45 pm UTC (link)
I'm surprised at the problems you had. My sister is getting married next month and they are doing something similar. Her fiance is changing his last name, and once they get married she'll change hers to his. When he went to court to file, the judge was so tickled at why he was doing it, he waived the fees.
Maybe you just need to go the right judge? I'll see if I can get the name of who he saw.

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[info]hazelsteapot
2006-06-20 07:15 pm UTC (link)
Two friends of mine had a similar experience. They found out that all these rules are done by county, so you can check out various MN counties and select the nearest one with a name change policy you like. (I believe Washington county was the one they went to; they wanted to change both of their last names to a new common name, as well as change the first name of one of them. This came free with getting married there.)

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