Love Beyond Gender

name imput?

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 21:45:43 GMT

Hello
I have been thinking on this issue before about finding a male name for myself, and really, I have, however it is is simply the male variant of my given name, not bad in and of itself, but even more unusual.
the name in question is
MARINUS

any thought on choosing "odd" or unusual names for yourselves?
thanks!
xposted

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 20:01:06 GMT

Hello, all.
I am a 25-year old non-trans "lesbian" (?) whose best friend is a transman and whose ex has recently transitioned (FTM).

I'm currently doing research for a book I'm writing which deals with the partners of trans individuals. I am interested in the ways that relationships can affect/shift/strengthen our identities.

For the most part, I am seeking long-term partners (past or present), but any legitimate emotional coupling can help me. I am not looking for any particular combination of identities--I would love to speak with you if you are a trans person dating a trans person or if you are a lesbian dating an MTF or if you are a straight man involved with an FTM, etc, etc. Also, please bring this to your spouse/partner's attention if you think that s/he might be willing to speak with me.

So far I have an impressive pool of the partners of younger (20's) transmen who are willing to interview with me. At this point, I am most specifically seeking older couples, although date of transition is not important. All the same, if you are a young partner and would like to contribute, the more interviews I do, the more comprehensive the book will be and the more fairly I can represent this community.

If you are interested in talking with me about your experiences in a TG relationship, please contact me via my livejournal (rag_and_bone) or my email address (hemos_perdido@yahoo.com). This is an ongoing project and interviews might not happen for a number of months. I am currently located in the Denver, Colorado area and am hoping to procure some grants for traveling, as I'd like these interviews to be conducted face-to-face.

I assure you that this is a legitimate endeavor and that I will treat you with the utmost respect, utilizing appropriate vocabulary and pronouns.

Thank you for your time.

-Katherine
(cross-posted)

Yet another intro post

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 00:49:38 GMT

[note to self: you know you read too many groups/lists/communities/etc when you need to swap to your web browser to see where you were writing an intro for *this* time ...]

Ok, brief intro, Kara, MTF TS, saw Marci in Trinidad last year, live near DC, married to a woman who already knew I was trans when we started going out.

I had a crush on a friend (another transwoman) and, with my wife giving me permission, told her so. Unfortunately the friend did not want to pursue things, but it did open up a positive discussion on polyamory with my wife.

Anyways, I realized that if I ever have a relationship with someone else besides her it would be with another TS.

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 06:50:39 GMT

Hello everyone! My name is Natasha and this is my first post here. While I myself am not transgendered, my "Goyfriend"hehe...(When we met, I thought she was a girl, but biologically a male. Now however, s/he is intersexed. Hope I didn't confuse you too much..hehe.) We are deeply in love! (Secretly, however I had always wanted to date a transgendered person. I love gender benders!) Anyways, I am an aspiring director and in high school, I was the one who made a controversial film. It was called "What A Drag" and although it wasn't that well done, I got a lot of praise for it. I hope to post more in this group! :D

-Natasha

Wed, 31 May 2006 15:59:51 GMT

hi there, I'm submitting this to alot of communities in the hope that I'll get like...any response. please bear with me as I'm confused, clueless, and uncomfortable about this whole subject. that said, I don't really know where to start, so I'll give a brief timeline:

toddlerhood - loathed dirt and noise, spoke early

around 6 years old - I started to notice how much I hated being lumped in with the 'boys', mostly because now that I'd started school they were getting seperated from the girls, and expected to be more physically active, and as I saw it, generally less emotional and/or intellectual, inasmuch as a kindergardener is intellectual. two things I remember about myself in kindergarden are that my best friends were all girls, the only male I remember I remember in the context of chasing boys with him, both of us trying to kiss them because we thought it was a fun game and that it was funny when they ran away. I also remember him in a pink feather boa and limp wristed, again around age 6. other than that, I could read before I even started school, and was absolutely obsessed both with anything to do with 'magic' and also with a childhood sort of mysticism. I remember whirling like a dervish and making up love songs to god. even then I was well aware I wished I could have long hair, talk and read instead of being forced into little league...that kind of thing.

between 6 and 13 - I moved, and had a progression of boys I called 'best friends', who I rarely spent much time with at all. as I hit puberty, which I did early, these turned into crushes. I assumed all good friends were basicly gay together, and that I just didn't have any good friends (I didn't). up till now I still go to my parents church, and several people, one man in particular, take note of my proclivity to spend more time with the girls and get mad at me for it. I recall being forced to play basketball by a sunday school teacher. what the hell that had to do with jesus is beyond me. late during this period gay rights starts to make the news, or I get old enough to notice it. I ask my mom what 'gay' means, and she tells me it means men who stick their penises in eachother's butts. I don't believe I'd ever seen her go from calm to that mad for no apperent reason. I realize from what I've seen on the internet that both she and the reporters are talking about people like me, and decide to pray about it.

7th grade through freshman year of college- because of my social awkwardness I've reverted to using my intellegence as an identity. it's more or less all I'm known for. I'm incredibly lonely, and when halfway through the year a boy transfers to the school from out of the country and turns up in 7 of my 8 classes, I latch myself on to him. I end up falling for him horribly, he's straight, but in the process I come out to everybody, and also develop codependency. he's an atheist, I become one for a month or so, and after having rejected my parents church I start a long process of experimentation in the occult, and end up where I am now...which is complicated. to make it simple, I went from a closeted, conservative christian with straight As to an openly gay eclectic pantheist (I'm a practitioner of Candomble...which for all practical purposes is hinduism that happens to have appeared in brazil. don't worry about it unless you're interested), and a three time drop out.
over the last couple of years, however, I've noticed a few things. I have a tendency to identify less as a male than as someone who likes males. I have a tendency to identify myself as a member of a third gender, not a male. ever since I jokingly went in drag last halloween (the first excuse I had to do it) I can't help but notice that everyone was right when they said I had a woman's hips. I would prefer, if it wouldn't involved being harassed to no end or feeling like everyone else thought there was something wrong with me, to wear women's clothes. I'm not into 'glam', I do not want to look like a drag queen, and have a stage everywhere I go. I would like to pass as a female and not get a second glance. I love flowing skirts, earthy colors, and things of that nature...not leather hot pants and skimpy tank tops. unfortunately, 'earthy' and 'drag' are practically oxymorons, and I'm so new and uncomfortable with all of this the last thing in the world I want to do is draw attention to the part of myself I'm most confused about. on top of all this, while it was just a costume party, the first and last time I did drag everyone said I didn't pass at all. when I'm not in drag, though, a friend says I look like a female hippy from behind, and several people have told me I'd be great for it...so I've gotten mixed signals, and I think they ammount to me not knowing how to do it right, as much as anything. I'm at best androgynous, but more often I have people tell me they had no idea I was gay.

aside from all this...I consider this a spiritual thing. well, I consider everything a spiritual thing and this is no exception. reading about 'two-spirits', hijras, and 'born-eunuchs' makes me glad, and also frustrates me to no end, because I can read about people who do EXACTLY what I want to do, but every culture that has a niche for us seems to be dead or dying. does anybody have any suggestions...advice, tips for passing for female...hell I'll take anything. remember, I look like a man, albiet one with small wrists, slightly larger than average hips, and longer than shoulder length hair, but as it is I'm a long way from passing for female...or dealing with the fact that I want to be able to.

Mon, 15 May 2006 18:19:01 GMT

[15 May 2006|11:03am]

transseattle
[slavelife]

The story of Gwen Araujo has been made into a movie and will be broadcast on the LifeTime channel. Here is a link that you can use to set an E Mail reminder that the movie is about to be shown. http://www.lifetimetv.com/cgi/movies_search.pl?show=A+girl+like+me&x=4&y=3 Please feel free to pass this on to other groups. Michelle

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 04:58:53 GMT

Hey gwyn, I see there is more comments. Sorry I have been inactive for awhile. Life has been hectic.

My girlfriend ended up dumping me because she couldn't handle a trans partner. I think she was just too confused about the entire thing even though we talked about it a lot.
I think maybe my own perspectives on gender was just too much to handle.
I don't know what is going on... My genderfuckedness is just too fucked up at times. I'm tired of trying to explain myself. I think maybe I should just become asexual sometimes...

LBT Takeover

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 00:49:10 GMT

Well, as many of you know, this past weekend was Gay Days at Disneyland and Disney's California Adventure. While I couldn't go to the evnt, I did work both days and walked the park a bit before and after work, and I've gotta say, I could not be more disappointed. This was for a variety of reasons, but here's my number-one issue: rather than a park full of my "family," I saw a park full of middle aged gay men. Where were the lesbians? The bisexuals? The transpeaople? Granted, I work at Hungry Bear, home of the "bear lover" meet-up, but still. I literally saw less than 5 red-shirt-clad women the entire weekend. Those I did were in their 40s. I began to realize that, despite having one meet-up a day specifically for women and a couple for youth, these men are the people Gay Days really target. And, for a 19-year-old dyke hoping to meet others like herself, this is damned disappointing.

So I'm proposing that we stage an LBT takeover. Either at next years' Gay Days or (this is my preference, especially because I don't feel like waiting another whole year after spending the whole last year looking forward to this), on our own day. Which is not to say your average, everyday gay man can't come, but this is not targeted at them. Just like we can come to Gay Days, but it's not targeted at us. Hell, we could even give the guys a little meet-up.

So, who's with me?

Official site for Anaheim Gay Days is here.

X-posted like crazy.

gender say what?

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 03:31:28 GMT

So i am a ftm, but i kinda like my breasts. Maybe cause i am atracted to them...

haha, maybe i just want to be both... there is something SO sexy about both!

Is it weird to want to become intersex..

DAMN, my girlfriend is having a hell of a time with the transition already... i think that would throw her off completely.

ACKKk

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 00:34:02 GMT

the bible belt is starting to eat at me.
Or maybe it's just my family...
If i have to hear about how people who are not suburban white christians are going to hell one more time I think i am going to vomit.

Plus, I am starting college again tomorrow. It is like the lone lesbian in the midst of really straight-laced conservative people who think i should go to hell (well, not all of them are like that, but i would say a good 85% or more are).

I think i am going to end up a cat lady with lots of books and crazy tattoos that all the kids in the neighborhood point at wondering what i was like "back in the day".

Lesbians are weird (maybe that's why I love them...)

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 01:33:23 GMT

So, I have come to notice that Lesbians have a tendency to jump into love a bit too fast. Is it a female thing? It can be negative, because it confuses our views of love, and what one really wants out of a relationship- but it can be a positive in the fact that one is always open to new things and caring about others…
Maybe all of this just comes about from the fact that it is a little bit harder being a homosexual and finding a mate… Do we really sell ourselves short…
I don’t really know… I am just questioning this because well, I am a lesbian, and I have noticed the relationships around me, and those in my past, and I can’t help but wonder if people are just desperate to find love…
In a way I guess we all are, but seriously, will one ever figure out what they want from a relationship or do they just happen… Can one really be picky? Or is it just all sex-related and lust taking over us…

Does this have an answer?

Transcending Boundaries 2005

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 13:16:27 GMT

Join us in Hartford, CT this November for the Transcending Boundaries
Conference and 3rd America’s Conference on Bisexuality! On November 4-6, 2005,
Transcending Boundaries will hold its fourth conference for bisexual/pansexual,
trans/genderqueer, and intersex people and our allies. We are pleased to
announce that this year’s conference will be held in conjunction with America’s
Conference on Bisexuality, a biennial conference for bisexuals and those
interested in bisexuality from all over North, South, and Central America.

The conference begins with a reception Friday evening and includes workshops all
day Saturday and Sunday, entertainment, and a keynote luncheon with nationally
known speakers.

The conference is designed to increase understanding, build solidarity, and
encourage activism among our communities. Both Transcending Boundaries and
America’s Conference on Bisexuality have a history of creating welcoming,
stimulating environments. This is a great place to feel at home being yourself,
even if you don’t fit into a nice, neat box of gay vs. straight or male vs.
female. It’s also an opportunity to meet interesting, friendly people and learn
from each other!

So be there! Registration materials are available on-line at
www.transcendingboundaries.org/registration/

For more information, contact us at:
E-mail: transcendingboundaries@gmail.com
Phone: Call Sharon at (860) 559-6150
Web: www.transcendingboundaries.org

Spread the word!

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 04:34:45 GMT

Yea. I'm a transboy, but get this- a femme transboy! A lesbian at that too.
How exactly do you explain that to your partner...

The entire issue hasn't come up yet, and I have stayed in my xx body for the moment. But yea, it is a tricky situation. Everything just seems to be harder because of the body I am in...
Ha ha ha! talk about a genderfuck! Yea, explaining that to mom and dad isn't happening at the moment.

But yes, back to the subject- partner- how does that work out... I haven't transitioned yet and because she is a lesbian I don't know how that is going to work...

I am community surfing to try and figure this out.

Hello!

Wed, 24 Aug 2005 20:53:38 GMT

Hi, I am Evelyn!

I joined this community because I really have no idea what to think of what my gender role is, I feel that love is beyond gender, and well, cause I am completely confused about how to go about any matter of love...
My life has been out-of-control the last 5 years, and I just recently got back into the country to find some stability.

I have NO idea how to adress someone who is transgender, I really don't even know how to approach them, but I do have a crush on a transgirl at the moment, and I am confused as hell!

What do I do? How do you adress sex and i dunno...

Question...

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 19:42:30 GMT

Gender.

If one is born a certain sex, and grow up living up to the expectations that they were socialized into following, what makes one appreciate gender in general?

So. What i find interesting, is that usually transgendered individuals appreciate gender much more then those that just settle with what they are taught.
Why do so many lose interest in appreciation of gender... Is it because they just don't know anything else... Or is it because they never really think about it...
Why isn't gender ever addressed when one is growing up... I know that it wasn't for anyone in my school system, or even my state. The only way a lot people learn about gender studies is if they take a class in college about it.
But I never took a class about gender. I never even thought about it untill a couple months ago. I've always appreciated being female, and embrace it completely, but why don't so many others even think about embracing gender...
It really is a HUGE part of our lives. I think this is why I respect transgender people tremendously. I find they actually question gender, the roles presented by it, and what gender they truly fit into.

Hmm.. I could probably think about this subject for a VERY long time and still never fully figure it out.

Opinions or thoughts?

Info and guidelines now completed. you'll post if you are nice to me.

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 05:09:34 GMT

So, basic info about this community is now on the info page- trans_sensual.
Hopefully things go well now.
Please promote this community so we can have more discussion and members to chat with!

I don't need this to be a me talking to myself community, cause I would be very sad and would have to cry.

Post and I will be very happy with the world. (Well, as long as you play nice and follow the guidelines)

I love you all!!!!!!!!!!

Any questions, comments, or concerns, please contact deliriumdeiight, and I will try my best to help you out!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo!

Post away

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 03:26:25 GMT

Hello darlings!

This is my new community for the ones who love transgenders, or those who just believe love goes beyond barriers or gender and sex.
You can be trans, you can love trannies, you can be friends with the beautiful trannies, support the trans community, or are just lgbtq and love it!

This is a positive community. No bashing or else one must suffer the wrath of Gwyn, your friendly maintainer.

So, hopefully I rack in some wonderful members and tweak this community into perfection.

Promote me and help join the cause!

Love to you all!

Day 1

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 22:48:14 GMT

So, I wonder if this is working now...