Damn, this is bad!! Surprisingly bad. I can’t even express how bad this is, so I’ll just show you
Here is a video of them performing at The Jesus Place in Oklahoma City!!!
0/10
The Affair – Yes Yes To You
This girl’s voice is unbearable. And I think she’s got a bit of a lisp to add to the ridiculousness. She’s got a song called “Andy” that I can dedicate to my brother, it’s all about he and I falling in love!!! How exciting. The lyrics are really bad, so it makes it that much better. “this is your chance for romance” she says, you heard her Andy. Come and get it.
This band sucks so fucking bad that I refuse to even listen to this shit.
0/10
Architect – All Is Not Lost
Metal as fuck. But not very good
2/10
The Bird and The Bee – The Bird and The Bee
I don’t like these types of bands. Electro-pop, electro-poopy. Catchy music with tons of cheesy electronics, as well as a pretty little girl with a tiny little voice. It makes me feel a little fruity to be listening to stuff like this, especially when a couple of songs strike my fancy!! The horror!!!! The Bird and The Bee – Again and Again The Bird and The Bee – I’m A Broken Heart
The Bloody Hollies – Who To Trust, Who To Kill, Who To Love
The Bloody Hollies are another rock-revival garage band. I get really sick of all those bands, they just seem insincere to me. You know how they do, they’re so FULL of attitude. But it’s just a LITTLE too much. It just ain’t right. But fortunately for me, these guys don’t have that feeling, at least not to the extent of some bands I’ve heard. I think they’re truly into what they’re doing, and they do it pretty well on top of that. This album isn’t the greatest thing around, but if you like plain ol’ rock n roll, you’ll like these guys. Also, the louder you play it, the better it sounds. Heed my words…
Plus, I like a band that can play like this in front of one of the smallest and shittiest crowds ever.
These ladies are responsible for one of my favorite songs of ’06, “Lloyd, I’m Ready To Be Heartbroken.” Great song, but their album just didn’t cut it. People, don’t release your albums until you have enough good songs to fill an album. If you can write a song like “Lloyd,” you can write some more decent ditties. The two unreleased songs that appear on this single are shitty. I was going to post the video to “Lloyd” but it’s way too fucking weird. Look it up if you like.
1/10
Rob Crow – Living Well
This dude is in all kinds of bands. Most notably, he is in Pinback, Optiganally Yours, and Goblin Cock. But this is his 4th solo release. I’m not really familiar with any of his music, so I don’t know if his bands sound like he does on his own. His solo stuff is pretty mellow, and I imagine that his bands are all a little more hard-rockin. Anyhow, this album isn’t all that great. He’s definitely got his own thing going on, I just don’t happen to like it all that much. This is the kind of music that will only draw certain types of people to it, and I’m not really sure what type of person that would be. I’ll post a video of the best song on the album, the only song that I liked. This video is a weird little thing.
Rob Crow – I Hate You Rob Crow
2/10
Deerhoof – Friend Opportunity
Deerhoof is just annoying. Anyone who says they enjoy their music, ditch em’ because they have just proven that they are lying bastards. This band could be good if they wanted to be, but they’re busy proving how weird and original they are. Who fucking cares? Just write good songs and you’ll be alright. Shit on this.
1/10
Julie Doiron – Woke Myself Up
Julie Doiron used to be in a band out of Canada called Eric’s Trip that broke up in 1996. This is a solo album, but it was recorded with all of the members of her old band. I guess she just has more name recognition at this point. Either way, this is not a good record, so it makes no difference who recorded this boring shit. I do kinda like one song though, here’s the video for it. The rest of the album is nothing like this song, so if you like this ditty, don’t bother wasting your time on giving the whole damn thing a chance. If you insist, the next best song is “I Don’t Wanna Be Liked By You,” but it can’t compare
Julie Doiron – No More
2/10
The Fratellis – Costello Music
Cutesy fucking tunes. I hate it!!! Ignore it forever.
0/10
Freya – Lift The Curse
This band isn’t bad, it’s just not my thing. Freya is made up of most of the members of hardcore band Earth Crisis. True hardcore fans will love this, and they cover “War Pigs” on this album. So that’s cool, even if they do butcher the hell out of it.
3/10
Fujiya and Miyagi – Transparent Things
A whole bunch of suck. Run away….
The Good, The Bad, and The Queen – The Good, The Bad, and The Queen
I’ve been excited about this one for a while. I heard the first single “Herculean” a couple months ago, since then I have been waiting on this to come out. I could have listened to it ages ago, but I like to wait until the release date, I have a routine to keep up with people. Anyhow, if you don’t know…. This band is built around Damon Albar from Blur, kinda like Gorillaz is built around him, but this time around his bandmates are Paul Simonin (former Clash bassist), Simon Tong (former guitarist/keyboardist for The Verve), and Tony Allen (former Fela Kuti drummer). So it’s quite a line-up. The album didn’t turn out to be anything like I expected it to though. i figured it would sound a bit like his Gorillaz albums. It’s entirely different. It’s more mellow and not as diverse as Gorillaz. It’s a little bit too mellow. It never does speed up. It’s still good, it just wouldn’t hurt em to lively it up a bit. Have a listen.
The Good, The Bad, and The Queen – Herculean
The Good, The Bad, and The Queen – The Good, The Bad, and The Queen
The Good, The Bad, and The Queen – 80’s Life
6/10
Kristin Hersh – Learn To Sing Like A Star
She might want to learn herself before she starts to teach us.
0/10
LSD and The Search For God – LSD and The Search For God EP
I don’t know what to make of this. They’re called LSD and the Search For God and this album was released by Mind Expansion Records. To be so into all of that shit, you’d think they’d make an interesting album, at least. Nope. Not even close.
2/10
Macromantics – Moments In Movement
An indie-rapping Australian girl named Romy Hoffman AKA Macromantics. Kind of a weird mixture. She started out playing in Ben Lee’s band Noise Addict, every one of them in their teens. Now she’s rapping, and she’s not all that good at it without the help of her friends. The only tracks that stick out just happen to be collaborations with Sage Francis and Ground Components. Actually, she’s not that bad of a rapper, I just don’t like her.
The New Trust – Dark Is The Path That Lies Before Us
Gay
1/10
Of Montreal – Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?
This guy could start a good band if he wanted to. He’s able to write good songs, but he’d rather put shitty keyboards and a drum machine on his tunes. Why would someone want to cheapen their songs like that. I’ll never understand it.
3/10
Only Crime – Virulence
Another all-star punk band. This one features Russ Rankin from Good Riddance, Bill Stevenson of Black Flag/All/Descendents fame, Aaron Dalbec from Bane, and Zach and Doni Blair from Hagfish. Zach Blair was also in GWAR, and I fucking love GWAR!!! Ok, all that’s out of the way. Now I’ll let you know if they’re worth a shit…. Nope
2/10
Piebald – Accidental Gentleman
I love Piebald, and I was expecting this album to not be very good. Their last album was ok, and I just figured they had begun their spiral downward towards being a shitty has-been band. Thankfully, I was wrong. They’re back to the formula that made me love them in the first place, and they’re doing it better than ever. The album has it’s low points though, like when they cover The Kinks’ “Strangers,” some songs should not be messed with. Ben Weasel tried his hand at the same song a few years ago. And sad to say, Ben Weasel did it better. Though neither do it well. Ok, here are some songs.
This one came out last week, at least I think it did. If you’ll notice, as I’m reviewing all these shitty albums, I sometimes get hold of them before or after their actual release dates. So if I’m reviewing something that didn’t come out the week that I say it did, just ignore me. Ok, this album here is just a recording of the classic Beatles album Meet The Beatles, done by The Smithereens. I don’t really see what the point is, they don’t add any of their own flair to the songs, they don’t actually change anything. Who’s idea was this? So yeah, they’re good songs, but I think I’d rather hear The Beatles doing them.
2/10
Snoop Dogg – Unreleased Heat Rocks
This was advertised as Snoop’s official myspace album. I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean, but It’s got 14 unreleased tracks by Snoop and all of his pals, and that’s ok with me. Even though the production is pretty shabby most of the time, this album still manages to catch your ear a couple of times. Especially when Flavor Flav pops up on “Looking For A Bad Bitch”. The song kicks ass. He’s still the number 1 hype man around, despite his loss of nearly all of his credibility. And there’s an unintentional funny moment on the album too, “Love Don’t Live Here” is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Listen to it, you’ll have a fit.
I can’t believe it!!!! A fucking punk record that I like!!!! This reminds me of when I was a young little fucker, getting all excited over punk music, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that way. I’ve had a couple of run-ins, but this is the real deal. It’s a band called Career Suicide, and the album is called Attempted Suicide. And I love every single song on it. So listen up, hardcore kids, you might learn something.
A new Chumbawumba album, oh god. These guys aren’t what everyone thinks they are, everyone just knows about em through that idiotic “Tubthumping” song, is that what it’s called? Chumbawumba’s main thing is politics. They stand to the left, but you could have figured that out. Anyhow, this album is not all that good but it does have a couple of interesting songs. Here they are:
Spacehorse - Spacehorse – Ghosts of the Civil Living
Hot damn!!! Another punk band that I like. Got a little Fugazi in em…. just a little. And they aren’t anywhere near as good as Career Suicide, but these songs are worth a listen. I’m also going to post a video of a song off of this album, the video is not all that great. But you’ll get the point.
The only thing released this week that is even worth mentioning is Frank Black’s new Christmass album. It’s basically a bunch of live tracks… but there are 5 newly recorded songs on this mamma jamma. Some of which aren’t that bad. The best one has to be “(Do What You Want) Gyaneshwar”. And I like “She’s My Way,” despite the fact that his singing towards the end reminds me of that fucking loser, Adam Duritz. I fucking despise that guy!!!!!!!!! There are also a couple that aren’t so good, such as “Demon Girl.” Actually, on second listen, that’s the only one that isn’t good. The others are worth keeping. So keep them!!!
December has not seen the release of many albums, so here’s a short one:
Mogwai put out a shitty album earlier this year, so I was kinda surprised to see Zidane: A 21st Century Poet. Especially since the earlier album sucked and the first song on this one called “Black Spider,” kicks some serious ass. So you really get the idea that you’re in for something good. Not the case, Mogwai still sucks. Even the second part of “Black Spider” that shows up towards the end of the album blows. This just goes to show you that you shouldn’t judge an entire album by one song.
Mos Def is one of the best. So pay attention to Tru3 Magic. Otherwise you just ain’t worth a shit. And as an added plus, this is a dramatic departure of all the mainstream rap I’ve been showing you fucks.
Nick Oliveri and Mondo Generator’s album Dead Planet was a real let down. You all know Nick Oliveri from Queens of the Stone Age, Kyuss, and from a short stint with The Dwarves. You know, the bald guy with the ugly ass facial hair. Yep… anyhow, he can’t cut it on his own. Get back with Josh Homme, no matter what you have to do fella. Or just quit, either way is fine with me. One song worth mentioning:
Another week of rap, will you guys ever forgive me? It’s not my fault that the ROCK has disappeared.
First album that I listened to this week is called Wild Feast, and it’s by a group called Child Bite. I like the name, but I have to say that this band is really terrible. But,,,,,, I happen to fucking love this one song!!! It tears my soul apart. Jess thinks they sound like Mindless Self Indulgence, I think they sound like a bunch of hipster ass-choads. Listen to the god damn jam sweet-cakes.
The Pack ain’t but a one hit wonder, I rectum. I heard “Vans” about 3 months ago and fell in love with it, and that’s the only song I could even find by these guys. But now they’ve released their first EP Skateboards To Scrapers, and most of it focuses on more of the bullshit “bling bling” rap, but they do it better than all these other fucks. I actually like most of it. There is a remix of “Vans” on this mother fucker with verses by Too Short (I hate Too Short) and Mistah FAB (I don’t know who he is?), but this version is useless and shouldn’t have been included on the EP. And the Pussy Pop Song down there is not the name of the song. I have no idea what the song is actually called, but it is a song about popping pussies, and who am I to argue with that?
Nas’ Hip Hop Is Dead. Not as good as Jay-Z’s Kingdom Come. HAHA. I thought it would be better than it is. That’s not to say it’s bad though, because it’s not bad. It just isn’t what I expected it to be, blah. Redundancy, I’m good at it. Ok, here are the best tracks. “Shine On Em” is on the Blood Diamond soundtrack. I guess it comes with this album if you buy it on itunes.
Ok, here’s another band. They’re called Those Transatlantics and the album is called Knocked Out. I ain’t really diggin’ it. It’s a little fruity, but you ladies might give it a go and see what you think. Here’s a song that I could stand, see what you think
01. marcel - god rest ye merry gentlemen 02. the mormon tabernacle choir - hark! the herald angel sings 03. bing crosby - good king wenceslas 04. dean martin - silver bells 05. the royal guardsmen - snoopy's christmas 06. jimmy buffett - mele kalikimaka 07. roger miller - old toy trains 08. johnny & june carter cash - xmas with you 09. margo guryan - i don't intend to spend christmas without you 10. cocteau twins - winter wonderland 11. cranes - happy xmas (war is over) 12. darlene love - marshmallow world 13. the temptations - silent night 14. handel - hallelujah 15. wham! - last christmas 16. prince - another lonely christmas 17. james brown - santa claus go straight to the ghetto 18. kurtis blow - christmas rappin' 19. eazy e - merry muthafuckin' xmas 20. the fall - no xmas for john quays 21. the sonics - santa clause 22. twisted sister - let it snow
tis the season for sharing! so what you, YES YOU need to do is to spread this around as much as possible. to everyone, everywhere.
So I think most of us forgot about this, so let's do some Christmas stuff. Everyone loves Alvin and the Chipmunks' "Christmas Don't Be Late" so someone HAS to post that, cause I don't have it *sad*.
"doo wop" is the onomatopaeic term for the style of 50's r&b centered around vocal quartets and quintets. it's easily overlooked (most of the bands involved had very short careers), but it's an important link between r&b and early rock and roll, and, more importantly, some of the music that came out of it is gorgeous and really unique.
here are some of my favorite tracks (most of which come from the Doo Wop Box):
(I know AFI did a version of this, too, for the MTV Icon show, but I've only got a video and I'm in no shape today to be ripping the audio off it, so you all will have to settle for these. *GRIN*)
It's amazing to me that there are so many covers of one song! (I know there are more, but I'd be hunting all day and I haven't got time!) Is imitation the sincerest form of flattery or just a rip off? I like pretty much all of these covers of Just Like Heaven. (I am especially intrigued by Katie Melua, who has covered a lot of my favorite songs.)Download and listen and decide for yourself! ~Mel
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