| Great on the grill! |
[Jul. 17th, 2009|01:04 am] |
My boyfriend and I were doing some quick shopping at a local popular chain supermarket. We saw this little gem, and I knew I had to share.
Sorry for the photo quality, crappy cell phone. I love how the only thing I think of doing is taking pictures for you guys.
( Yum yum!!! )
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 16th, 2009|10:22 pm] |
Today I decided to clean the guest bathroom, including the toilet. It was spotless and full of awesome. Well, of course right after I stepped back to admire my hard work, I had to take a colossal crap. It's usually pretty nice to take a shit in a toilet that's just been cleaned - You are insured that any "splash back" water is disinfected. What's NOT nice is whenever your crap leaves a gigantic skid mark at the bottom of the bowl... the bowl that you JUST cleaned.
>:| |
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| I apologize to coffee and chicken lovers.. |
[Jul. 16th, 2009|08:16 pm] |
I work at Office Depot, and needless to say, we have pretty disgustingly lazy people who work there.
It all started with one day, my store manager told me to go clean the break room, so I did. He told me to clean the fridge mainly, because someone had spilled something in there about 2-3 months ago, and never bothered to clean it up. Lazy asses. I hadn't used the fridge in awhile, so I didn't know what the mess was going to entail. I open the fridge and see what looks like a soda spill, alright, no big deal. Scrubby Scrubby Scrubby, all gone. Then I start to clean out all the old junk that was in there. Eh, some old ranch dressing, old ketchup, oh, wow, a pretty bowl with tin foil on it..*open* WHUUUUTTTTTTT!
( CHICKKEENNNNN ) Ah, yes. Lovely day at the Depot.
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 16th, 2009|08:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  irate | ] |
Omg. D: I just pulled a dog hair out of the crack of my ass for the 1354534654th time.
Plz, for the love of god, tell me this happens to someone besides me.
Maybe it's because my dog is a collie, and therefore has some hair that's like...7 inches long. Maybe it's because I sometimes fold my laundry on the end of my bed where my dog sleeps, and my underwear picks up the occasional hair. Maybe my ass is just too naturally unhairy, and gathers extra hair for warmth.
I don't even care about the 'why' anymore, I just want the comfort of knowing I'm not alone in the soul crushing sensation of reaching back and freeing my asscheeks from a long and torturous dog hair.
DDDDDDDDDDDDD8
FML. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|10:22 pm] |
Okay, I really can't stand the smell of my boob sweat. It's not rank or anything, it's just the distinct smell of my own boob sweat that waifs up through my shirt collar and up to my nostrils.
I've tried exfoliating the dickens under the nungas to avoid dead skin-ness and I have tried baby powder and perfume but the smell always makes itself known. Even when I thoroughly wash and scrub with soap in the shower. :( I'm clean, but these damn boobs just won't give me a break!
Does anyone else have this problem?
I'm not fat, just not as skinny as I used to be, and my bosoms are quite large.
siiiiiiiiiiiigh. |
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| For the ladies of TMI |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|05:43 pm] |
This one's a quickie.
I was in the elevator with my 2 dogs leashed up. One of my neighbors gets in the elevator, she's wearing jogging shorts. I didn't have the heart to tell her she had the world's worst camel toe, so I avoided looking at her. Then I hear her wince and back up. One of my dogs had licked a wound on her shin. The wound was almost 6" in length and the width of a #2 pencil. The lower part of the wound was fresh and still oozing clear stuff and the top part was starting to scab. I ask her what happened, she said she cut herself shaving. Now, every time I've seen razor burn or shaving cuts, they've been small. It's never been this nasty. I asked what happened exactly, here's what she said.
She was shaving and put her foot up on the tub since one of the light bulbs in her bathroom blew out and the lighting was shitty. She started to shave and nicked herself pretty deeply. She winced but figured if she lightened up on her grip (she was shaving quickly to leave on a date) she could finish that one line of hair I guess. Well, what she didn't know was that she'd cut so deep that her skin was caught on the razor and when she moved upwards in that one swift motion, she took out a slice of her leg. She had to take out a slice of skin, like a lemon rind, out of her razor and discard it. She claims even the air hurts her (which begs the question of why she's going jogging.)
I actually cringed for all 9 floors of the elevator ride. I told her to put some Bacitracin on it and to come to me if it got infected so I could irrigate it. But I think that now that I know how she got it, I'll be too skeeved out to even look at it. She's a trooper, that much is true. |
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| Wtf is going on in my sleep? |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|10:43 am] |
I wake up today to the smell of rancid pus. I look around and check my body over looking for pus. Pick up my dog, search him for pus. Nothing. Try to open my eyes fully and they feel sticky. I think "oh boy, I found the pus!" Nope, just regular eye gook. I go to the bathroom to do a more thorough inspection and I end up sneezing. I sneezed a glob of crusty pus boogers into the toilet. And after that was out, blood came out of my nose. I wash my nose and go to brush my teeth and see dried, caked-on blood on my incisors. Now I'm wondering what kicked my ass while I was asleep. I brush my teeth and when I go wash my face I notice lipstick marks on my cheek. That broke my brain a little. But I figured it was mom since she's been super affectionate lately and trying to hug and kiss me (which, I just don't do. I don't like much contact.) So I'm thinking she snuck a kiss or two in while I was unconscious.
I strip and hop into the shower and notice there's a caked on, white glob of something on my leg. When I rip it off, I end up waxing a part of my leg. What was it? Spackling stuff. I was spackling the bathroom walls yesterday and apparently got a glob on my leg and somehow (how, really!? HOW!?) I did not notice this. So great. So far I have a pussy/bloody nose, bloody teeth, mysterious lipstick marks and a waxed calf. You're thinking, it can't get worse. I get out of the shower and dry myself. As I'm drying, I notice a bunch of faded bruises all over my body from last week. The painters came and I moved all the furniture, cleaned and helped paint so mom didn't have to do much. But then I noticed this strange bruise on my ass. It looks like three fingers and part of a palm. I can't even think of how that got there. No, no one spanked me (at least not hard enough to bruise). And the only thing I can think of is me falling and my hand breaking my ass's fall. Would that even make a bruise?
So as a recap: TMI is waking up with a pus-encrusted/bloody nose, bloody teeth, mysterious lipstick marks from your mother, a chunk of leghair missing thanks to spackling, and a mysterious hand-print bruise on your left buttcheek. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|06:16 pm] |
i just thought you guys might like to know today, i was in school and i picked a whitehead out of the skin of the shell of my left ear. that's not the tmi though, the tmi is that it was huge so i took a closer look and it had two points. o_o i tried to save it for you guys (in fact i still have it) but i don't have a camera good enough to take a picture of it. i drew it in paint though.
edit: photobucket doesn't want to work so i have to describe it and get back to you guys on this. it was flat at the top where it poked a little through the skin but it was really fat, and halfway through it split in two. o_o not like i split it, it just was split in two. like it had legs. or the root of a tooth. o_o how weird.
okay this was rather tame but yeah. when i saw it i thought of this comm.
oh and also, i have eczema, and i just spent the past ten minutes picking all the tough dry skin off my toe. :) |
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| tame |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|01:57 am] |
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I woke up yesterday and my left eye was sealed shut with thick yellow pus. It was clumped in my eyelashes. So not okay. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|12:05 am] |
so i have two, actually not that bad food stories, but there are pictures, so...
( CLICK! ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 14th, 2009|01:49 pm] |
A little while ago, I had to sneeze, so I turned my head toward my shoulder, sneezed, then went on with life. A few moments later, he reached my hand up to adjust my bra strap. My thumb hit a cold patch and, shocked, I looked over and saw a blob of snot on my shoulder that was now spread on my thumb where I had touched my shirt. Not too nasty really, mostly funny. And, I have pictures!
( Snotty fun ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|10:27 pm] |
I'm in the process of dying my hair red and it looks like I got used as a giant's tampon. That's not my TMI, however.
TMI lies in the process of putting said dye in my hair. This is done in the bathroom, so I grabbed the box and a towel and opened the bathroom door. My dad had just finished, and as a big guy (6'1" and about 300 pounds), he doesn't exactly expel sunshine and rainbows. I walked in and was immediately hit with a wall o' stench and puked up chocolate milk and mac n' cheese all over my bathroom floor. Classy. My emetophobia was ever so pleased. D: |
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| What a helpful community... |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|09:23 pm] |
Were it not for this community, I would have been absolutely freaking out last week. I had a tickle in my throat, and I took a peek at my tonsils. There were two gigantic freaking GROWTHS sticking out of one of them. And then I remembered: tonsil stones. I first read about them here. I calmly popped them out, and crushed them up like people here have done, and breathed a sigh of relief. These horribly stank, disgusting growths were not tumors; they were merely tonsiliths. Over the next few days, I popped a few more out. These are really the height of grossness!
And this community has also assisted me in my career. Today, I was at work, and one of the nurse aides pointed out to me these small holes in the butt cleft (for lack of a better descriptor!) of one of the residents. At first I was puzzled; what a strange place to get a pressure ulcer! But again, the time I spent reading here at tmi came back. They weren't pressure sores, they were pilonidal cysts!
Thank you, men and women of too_much_info. The information provided me here has been very valuable. I will make a point to visit more often, so that I may continue to be educated about the gross. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|07:26 pm] |
oh my god i can't tell if this horrible pain is period cramps or because have to an epic shit.
either way it fucking SUCKS |
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| Wow. |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|07:23 pm] |
It might not be that TMI, but I was proud and had to share with someone.
I don't know what combination of foods lead to these foul, breath stealing, downright nasty farts, but I just let out two that made the dog flee my room. Since he's usually the one who forces people out of rooms I feel really proud right now. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2009|08:17 pm] |
My roommate dropped a metal bar (part of a hammock we were putting together) on my toe about 3.5 months ago. It hurt like a motherfucker for like.. a day. It just recently began chipping off near the cuticle, or at least that's what it looks like. Yum.
( warning: very large photos ) |
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| sock journal is puppety |
[Jul. 12th, 2009|10:27 pm] |
There is something satisfying about posting on livejournal while taking a really nasty dump. Especially as this is the 5th time I've been shitting my guts out today (I've been counting) and the first ever that I've used my laptop while on the toilet.
The first time today was explosive and unpleasant. Fine one minute; flood gates opening the next. Boiling Lava Shit.
The second time today was at the mall. I should've known to stay away from coffee. Sorry, employees of the Atlanta Bread Co. Liquified Jalapeno Shit.
The third time today was also at the mall. I had the bonus of being interrupted on my way to the bathroom by a former classmate and non-friend of mine who I wouldn't want to run into at the best of times. After escaping with no less than 3 (!!!) hugs from this acquaintance, I finally made it to the stall in just enough time. Battery Acid Shit.
The fourth time today, I was out for a jog when I got the telltale cramps. Had to walk almost half a mile with my asshole clenched and praying to all deities not to let me shit my pants in public. Ducked in the back entrance of a bar, next to the ladies' room. Sorry, bar employees. Toilet Clogging Shit.
And now, again, I am sitting on the toilet. Pissing-From-My-Ass Shit. God. My asshole feels worse than my lips that time after eating a whole jumbo bag of flaming hot cheetos. And this time, I didn't even eat anything evil. I hate PMS. :( |
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| i don't like being made of OW! |
[Jul. 12th, 2009|01:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | music |
| | stupid fuckin song from Lay's commercial | ] |
So, my friend and I were involved in a car accident Wednesday night/Thursday morning. We were damn lucky to get out with our lives, but man, did I get banged up. I've been waiting for my bruises to get more photogenic, so I could share them here. Am I pathetic or what?
Oh, and since this is TMI, I must tell you: I think I reduced my own dislocation in my wrist. We were still at the scene, waiting for the cops to finish their interminable paperwork, when I decided to poke at my wrist. I had already refused medical attention, as I have no way to pay for it, so I was just trying to pin down where exactly it had smacked the door. I feel around the sore spot, then I feel a -clunk- happen. I swear I could hear it as well. Hmm. Well, I guess it's back where it was supposed to be!
( pics of my bruiseys )
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