Elihice ([info]elihice) wrote in [info]togakushishrine,
@ 2004-06-24 21:17:00
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Current mood: calm

Little red...er white....
My answer to the current challenge: Storytelling
Title: Little boy lost
Short (around 760 words)
A/U, because if I played by CLAMP rules, this fic couldn’t be written ([info]etrangere, you said AU was ok, didn’t you?)
PG

EDIT: AGHH! This is what happens when I post half-sleep. Seichirou/Seishirou problem corrected.





It was a perfect night. Of course, this was not because of chance or destiny (actually, it was completely against destiny), but careful planning and some help from old friends. And the bribing of some old enemies. (Last time he was asking Yuuto anything, convincing that man of getting the concert tickets had been hell)

But no matter what he had to do, it had all been worth it. The food was delicious, as expected of the city’s best (and most expensive) restaurant. The music was loud enough to enjoy it and yet soft enough to allow conversation. And his date...

His date was the most beautiful woman on earth.

Across the table, the love of his life had finished eating her dessert and now lifted her gaze to meet his.

“Sorata...”

“Yes honey?”

“Who is babysitting?”

Suddenly the restaurant didn’t seem so nice anymore. For example, it lacked more emergency exits.

“A friend.”

“A friend?” He didn’t like this tone. This tone was often accompanied by a sword. Or some random blunt object heading straight to his head.

“A seal. I think that after the end of the world, taking care of our daughter for one night is not that hard, right....honey?”

“Karen-san and Aoki-san are out of town. And the others are busy tonight. I know. I called them last week.”

“....not Sumeragi-san...”

“Sumeragi-san?!”

“Sumeragi-san is a very responsible adult. Kioko-chan is okay with him.”

“I trust Sumeragi-san. It’s the other person who lives in that apartment the one who worries me.”

*******

“Once upon a time, there was a little boy...”

“Wasn’t it a little girl? Daddy told me it was a little girl.”

“It’s a different story, this was a boy. Very cute, but still a boy.”

“Boys aren’t cute. They are noisy and annoying.”

“You’ll think different once you get older... “

“Mom says they are annoying.”

“Yes, your mother would say that...Anyway...Once upon a time, there was a boy who lived quietly with his family. One day, the little cute boy wandered away from his grandmother and sister and got lost in the cursed sakura forest. “

“Seishirou...”

“Just kidding, Subaru-kun. They weren’t really cursed, they were just hungry.”

“Seishirou-san!”

“Fine, fine... One day, the little cute boy wandered away from his grandmother and sister and got lost in the UNcursed, full of not-really-hungry trees, sakura forest.”

“Better.”

“After walking for a while in such boring forest, the little boy found two roads: one going west, the other going east. He wasn’t sure which way was the correct one, so he stood there until he got tired.”

“Why didn’t he sat on the ground? I always do that when I’m tired.”

“Because he was wearing his white shikifuku and didn’t want to get it dirty. “

“Okay, what happened then?”

“When the boy was starting to get tired of standing there, a person suddenly appeared on the road. The little boy was very happy because that person would surely know which way was the right one, so he ran towards the person to ask him.”

“Mommy always says I shouldn’t speak to strangers.”

“No, you shouldn’t. But no one ever told the little boy that, so he ran. When he finally arrived to the stranger’s side, who was a handsome dark haired man, he asked which way would take him to his grandmother’s house. The man smiled and said that he would, but under one condition.”

“Giving him his first son or daughter?”

“...No, why would he ask that?”

“In all the stories daddy tells me, they always ask for the first son or daughter.”

“...And the seal keeps saying that I'm the creepy one...”

“What did he ask, then?”

“The handsome man said that he would meet the little boy when he was older, and that the boy would then give him his vi-“

“Seishirou-san!”

“... well, Subaru-kun, that’s an interesting shade of red... it’s something wrong?”

“...”

“... where was I? Ah, yes! The man said that when they meet again, the boy would give him his... very special thing. ”

“Very special thing?”

“Yes. The thing the little boy treasured above all.”

“What was it?”

“ His p-“

*thump!*

“ His peacock. His pet peacock.”

“Ano... why is Subaru-san sleeping in the floor?”

“He is just tired.”

“He is going to miss the rest of the story!”

“Don’t worry. He never really liked my stories.”

---------------




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[info]etrangere
2004-06-24 07:56 pm UTC (link)
Waw *LOL* That's adorable !

and yeah i said A/U was all right. Especially that kind of A/U ^_^

“...And the seal keeps saying that I'm the creepy one...”

*chuckles*

*innocent eyes* but it was a little girl who lost her pet peacock...

(Reply to this)


[info]kaitou_marina
2004-06-25 01:50 am UTC (link)
That was adorable and humorous! ^__^ Very cute. But my brain kept getting hung-up on your spelling of Seishirou ^.^;;; There were a couple of other spelling mistakes as well. A grammar nut like me was having trouble concentrating on the story. ^.^;;;

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[info]elihice
2004-06-25 03:17 pm UTC (link)
Ehem... just noticed and corrected that. About the spelling mistakes, I'm sorry to say it was because I couldn't get a beta in time. (English is my third language, so I make stupid mistakes without noticing...)

If you could point the mistakes I would be VERY grateful.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)


[info]kaitou_marina
2004-06-25 06:55 pm UTC (link)
Oh! I totally understand, really. If you ever need a beta-reader at the last minute, I'm generally around, if you'd like to drop it to me at onmyouji AT gmail DOT com, I'd be happy to do what I can to help! ^.^

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[info]ripedecay
2004-06-25 04:54 am UTC (link)
Yes, I was having the Seichirou-Seishirou problem too. It's Aoki who is Seiichirou. But it was hilarious and I love how you wrote Seishirou. From the 'creepy one' thing to Subaru's 'pet peacock' and 'never really liked my stories'.

What a good morning read <3

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[info]tamchronin
2004-06-25 07:53 am UTC (link)
Oh, that was just priceless. The quip about the emergency exits...Arashii's tone... (poor, poor Sorata...but he asked for it!)

And and and...

"Yes, your mother would say that..."

~dies laughing~

There are too many great lines in this, it was just adorable. Yay!

(Reply to this)


[info]graymm
2004-06-29 11:38 am UTC (link)
Now that is fun. I grinned like a fool at all the great one-line jokes and Su/Sei banter. The only complaint I have it that this *rocks* as an intoduction. I was like, "yes! I love where this is going!" and it stopped unexpectedly. ...wah!

Brilliant, I like it, and I really think it could be expanded into a longer story. ^___^

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