Thrift Shop Horrors

thrifthorror @ 2008-10-04T02:20:00

2008-10-04T06:32:43Z

I know, I know, I just posted. I think I may have found the highlights of my horrors collection though, and oh man, they have to be shared.

I don't even know where to start with these. The shaky paint job, the creepy pink eyes, the flowers with eyes, the manic expressions, the quaint little outfits, or the fact that they're a little under a foot and a half tall.

Next to a DVD for size reference:

My friend waited in the car while I ran in. He was less than enthused when I returned with a hideous rabbit under each arm. The woman who cashed me out was hilarious, I think she felt obligated to say something about my sole purchase and she so settled on "Those are... nice." Yes, yes they are.

Horrors of Ohio

2008-10-02T02:59:54Z

At Valley Thrift in Cincinnati, Ohio, I came upon a mass, naked, Barbie suicide. Maybe this group madness was caused by radiation from all the Easy Bake Ovens.

Oh the humanity!! (Note Ken doll on right is actually hung by the neck)

But rest assured; these dead Barbies have been sterilized.

thrifthorror @ 2008-10-01T21:56:00

2008-10-02T02:56:48Z

They wanted $24.95 for this.

Three little kittens lost their mittens?.

"I will not leave you alone."

I harvest souls like I harvest nuts!

Somewhere out there, there is a sweat shop missing an elderly monkey that only knows how to knit socks.

This bear is just as confused as we are.

Seriously pissed off duck?

At first glance I thought the old woman was spanking the poor child, but she is just darning his pants, with him still in them.

Amsterdamned

2008-10-01T16:52:19Z

Thrift Horror in the Netherlands.

My personal favorite!

And of course some obligatory clowns!

thrifthorror @ 2008-09-30T20:50:00

2008-10-01T02:14:10Z

After I bought my ceramic dimetrodon rocking horse/merry-go-round thing, I was thrift satiated and took a break for a bit. But now I'm back! With hideous things! Yayee!

My cellphone camera could not capture how day-glo blinding this elephant was. I don't think any camera could.

This is, admittedly, not too horrific. Tacky and ugly as a ballsack, yes. But not retina scarring horrible. Here's why I found it particularly terrible:

It looks like it's been modeled after my morbidly obese cat, Baconator. She was too lazy to stand up for a photo, so I settled for her lying down. The only other option was her lying on her side like a beached whale.

I will call it... Collie With A Back Tumor!

A collection of faceless Amish women with what I can only assume are 1] giant slugs or 2] severed horse penises. I don't like anything going on in this photo.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Cricket just wasn't marketable to children, but Santa kept him around out of the kindness of his heart.

I would have liked Alien a lot more if an adorable piglet had burst out of a bunny.

I've left this one fairly large so you can bask its glory. Yes, that is indeed Pegasus snuggling with a miscellaneous unicorn. In space. With glitter. It's not small either, it's about a foot and a half wide.

thrifthorror @ 2008-09-29T19:11:00

2008-09-29T23:12:30Z

Someone donated 3 boxes of recipe cards today for our thrift/white elephant sale this holiday season. Two of them were more recent, but the third is from 1971. Some of the recipe cards inside amused me, so I scanned them in to share.

12 cards under the cut.

I only did the fronts because the pictures were better than the ingredients.

If I saw this, I'd be checking under the table to see if I could find whatever escaped.

Some ever so yummy looking things-

All of these are from the 'children's parties' section:

creepy clown thingy wants to eat you

I think I see a parrot on the side, but is that other thing a pig?

the aliens have landed

patriotic birthday party... ooooh kay then. I think they're cherry trees?

nothing says birthday party like hobo hike

and finally, it's time for dessert

Tickle This!

2008-09-29T17:32:59Z

Oh my...TIE DYE! Thrifted from Value Village in Brooklyn Center, MN.
Original price tag (Size: Adult, Large; Artist: Tee's Dyes of Mashpee, MA) says someone bought it for $24.
I got it for $3.99 !!

Someone is going to have a very, very happy birthday...

Welcome to the Bad Art Gallery

2008-09-29T03:36:21Z

Oh what stuff these mortals own.
Bad art gallery.

One is bad enough, but they had two. Black velvet unicorns and lightening. Score!

Tyger tyger shining bright in the living rooms of the night.

What do you call a permanent secretary? One that's screwed on the desk.
And she has a picture of a secretary behind her. Maybe it's mom.

Oh daaaaaamn. Get me out of heeerrreee.
Evil sheep of evil?

A photograph of rug art. WTF?

Mama's got a squeeze box, daddy never sleeps at night.
He's collecting money to add to his stool collection.

This was on a folder in a back to school display.
Toxic religion

My dog's turd looks like a crucifix! I'm going to sell it on e-bay.

Cruise ship memories. Click for MUCH larger, whole image.
They do this every year. You'd think they would get tired of being swingers.

No one wants her. Even for .50 cents. Glamor shots FTW!

This is very toilet!

2008-09-29T01:12:25Z

In case you forget, here is a helpful illustration of what a toilet is for, how to use it, and how it may appear in action:

Grandma, however, does not seem to be aware that she needs to remove her clothes before she goes to the bathroom.

(I found this in a junk store in Owings Mills, MD.)

Another trip to Value Village

2008-09-27T01:39:21Z

I stopped by Value Village today... I wasn't really there for the horrors, but the horrors found me.

After the tree, there was no turning back... Really, who would buy something like this in the first place?

Then there were the pictures... Two clowns, a slightly feminine Jesus, and some jazz men.

A couple of odd couples. Miss Piggy seems to be pretty interested in the scarecrow-pilgrim bobble-head, while the welcome dog and long-necked cat are content to just sit there.

And finally, we have a couple of angels in a heart. Jesus managed to sneak into this one too. Along with a sad Mexican.

Tune in next time, for more fun shots!

201979: Don't bring me down, thrrrrrrRrRrift

2008-09-26T17:24:17Z

Found this gem last weekend at the ARC, Iliff/Quebec, and could not resist buying it. It was signed by the artist in 1978.

Close up:

Vintage ads

2008-09-25T23:18:39Z

A haul of old knitting magazines and cookery books from my local Shelter (homeless charity) shop included some rather interesting advertisements.

Of course, I always knew chocolate is good for you

but 45% better than milk on its own! Wow!

And adding sugar makes it even better still:

... though I think I'll have my miraculously healthy vinegar separately, thanks

and with all that nutrition, I hope I won't need any of this

or this!

You think soap scum's bad? Imagine all your excess body fat floating around in your bathtub!

And if you're making the effort to look good, of course you need to keep your clothes looking good too (highlighting is mine)

and you can knit your own garments, of course. Just get some wool

some knitting needles

Does knob mean the same in America as it does in Britain?

And get your knitting pattern for a nice cardigan

I did a double take when I saw the word used to describe that shade of brown!

Er...and a happy Halloween to you, too!

2008-09-23T16:39:04Z

Long time Lurker, First time Poster!
Found - at the ARC Value Village in Brooklyn Center.

He's supposed to be a corpse/zombie candle. A very happy candle.
I don't have the heart to light him.

Monday's Thrift Horror

2008-09-23T00:47:34Z

Livemore, California thrift store.

a gargoyle sconce, or whatever this is called.

just one of the creeptastic bunch of dolls, she had flowers painted on her cheeks

some ugly as hell tacky ceramic lady laying on a bench eating chocolates

the not so colorful clown with soulless eyes that go on forever...

i dunno, but this aint how i carve my pumpkins!

this was some kind of felt painting, and im just now realizing its not trying to be a sewing machine...so nevermind, it isnt THAT weird

there was a set of about 5 of these cups, plus a huge bowl with tom and jerry also on the side
O_o

loungin angry kitteh with tie jar

"this is what i got turned into, and no, they didnt give me a crown to wear"

mouse with hollow eyes...not sure if it was a candle holder?

sweet dreams!

thrifthorror @ 2008-09-22T16:00:00

2008-09-22T20:21:46Z

At last! After a long time of not being able to go, I finally went thrifting with my mom today and found some awesome stuff!

Fist up is Mary Moo-Cow. I believe her purpose is to hang on the front of the door.

Little Timmy has either had too many Cherry Drops, or was into Mommy's lipstick!

My mom and I found this in the stuffed animal bin. It's a lobster!

This painting perplexed me to no end. Why is this woman alone on the bridge? Why is she tipping her parasol? And furthermore, why is there a bridge in a field of flowers?

The Pink Panther mirror! I totally would have bought this if I had a place to put him.

This just creeped me out. I mean, really, who makes a corpse doll for kids?

Yes, this hat actually has a LIGHT in it. There was a tag on the back that said "Hat Light- as seen on TV!" Sadly, it wouldn't light up for me.

So that's it for this trip!

New England Monstrosities

2008-09-20T16:07:54Z

Found these gems in a small shop somewhere in New Hampshire...

Wait, does that say "scat?" Oh my!

And this... well, it's like nothing I've ever seen before. While I certainly advocate recycling and repurposing, I don't think it's necessary for your lobster dinner! Horrifying...

And an added bonus, a few years back in Vermont, I came across this:

That's right... taxidermic mice playing baseball! It ranks among the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

Get your own!

2008-09-20T02:17:02Z

Faithful readers of this community will surely recall the infamous ICE LUGE that was posted a few months back. The scary girl with dead raccoon eyes, her bleach blonde friend with her mouth attached to this terrifyingly unsanitary devotion of cold shots? Of course you remember!

And now, what luck! While wandering through the Spencer's at my local mall, on dubious display was none other than that familiar ICE LUGE box! Raccoon eyes and bleach blonde friend and all their frat boy glory can now be yours! Isn't that marvelous?

Not quite as horrible as a previously owned thrift shop model, but amusing nonetheless, to see it appear once again.

thrifthorror @ 2008-09-19T20:47:00

2008-09-20T01:51:11Z

Saw it at the thrift store, had to take it home. Whether deranged due to drugs or born that way, it's.. well. A very happy bunny. A ceramic-savvy friend of mine said it is from a mold for hobbyist's based on a Rosenthal Rabbit, just.. tweaked to avoid copyright.

And in natural light.

Dawn was proud enough of it to write her name on it, but not to commit to it for life.

thrifthorror @ 2008-09-19T21:24:00

2008-09-20T01:25:12Z

My boyfriend and mom call this a "thrift horror"....

I call it "Thrift GOLD!!"

A life sized... light blue glass rabbit....

That's a LAMP!

teletubby nightmare

2008-09-18T02:42:48Z

I CAN HAZ UR SOUL?

Oh, the horror!

2008-09-16T23:42:36Z

Hi!  I've been lurking for some time now, but this is my first post. I went on a thrifting trip with a friend recently, to four different shops. A couple of our finds were real winners... if you want to see it that way.

Be prepared, there are lots of pictures behind that cut!

Some sort of candle... backdrop, maybe? I do like the colors!

And it gets much, much worse...

Baseball coach Jesus!  Is that cheating, I wonder?

Clearly three best friends.

Some hot, hot pants. You know you wish you owned them.

Some terrifying Paul Bunyan art.

When I think chips and salsa/dip, the first thing I think of holding them in is a fish.

Sgt. Wrinkles is always punctual.

This is actually some bizarre trading (card?) game. Hm.

My friend decided that this will be the seat her future children sit in.

There's something suspicious about tall!thin!rabbit that I can't put my finger on.

This is the greatest book ever written. Not a moment goes by that I do not regret leaving it behind. This is THE great American novel. And best of all, it's BASED ON A TRUE STORY!  It's about a boy's butt who runs away from him and goes on a wild adventure with hundreds of other butts. This apparently happens often. It is, dare I say, butt-tacular.

Honestly, I'm not sure anything else can live up to that, unless it's baseball coach Jesus. Still, there is more.

I'd be scared too if I had a giant jack o'lantern partly obscuring me.

Obligatory clown. "Oh my, a cow!"

A coin bank. I wish we'd gotten a side view.

But here he is from the front!

Upon reflection, I think perhaps the mouse ate the mother's head off. Omnomnom...

And obligatory owl art:

Billy Big-Mouth Bass!  Who would get rid of one of these?

A... Wubble?  Wuzzle?  I don't quite remember. But rather disturbing all the same.

And finally, one single Hulk hand. Hulk smash!!!!  But only on the right side.

More to come... some day! All pictures courtesy of Value Village, Council of the Blind, and Goodwill in parts of North St. Louis.

A terrible treasure trove...

2008-09-16T22:24:26Z

I've been hoarding pictures of crap, much like the vendors in the stores I've visited have been hoarding crap. Lots and lots of crap.

I swear, y'all, I was framed!

something here just isn't right... now, I'm no racist, but I'm thinking either those blue eyes aren't natural, or this boy's mama's been steppin out.

I don't have a witty commentary for this, I just found it heaps funny.

there's so much here that's just so WRONG.

OW, my retina!!

if I remember, this could have possibly been a cover for a cheeseball or something. It's almost awesome, but it didn't quite get there.

I like to imagine that these bookends are zombies and their beards are made of brains.
EDIT: HOLY SHIT, you guys!! I didn't even notice all the sexual stuff before. I kept going back to them in the store because there was something about them but I couldn't pinpoint it. I'm going back tomorrow and I'm buying them!! The call has been made to the store. They're behind the counter waiting for me! WOO and HOO!

I was unaware that Christ was a stalker.

Fellatio-lantern. Just in time for Autumn.
(I actually loved this so much I went back to get it and it was GONE).

Get your very own severed head for just over $2.00. What a deal!

this secondhand paci-feeder is a wonder among lazy parents and obese babies.

(another photo because I was just that amused)

No commentary necessary. It's just that awesome.

and I leave you with shell art.

really ...REALLY bad shell art.
So you know, that was a night light.

I've still got a lot of Santas to share (they're horrifying, I promise) and some really "interesting" animals, but I'll save them for another day.

Pure Energy

2008-09-11T14:42:12Z

*Dress Up for a Whole Universe of Fun!*

(So says the tagline from the back cover.)

Hi there folks! Long-time lurker, occasional commenter, and first-time poster here!

While this may not be a perfect tie-in, there was a book sale at the university library yesterday morning. Like the book hog that I am, I went wild. While yes, I indulged in all of the arts and crafts (A book about how to make tacky feather flowers? Sign me up!) and non-fiction my arms and backpack could hold (helpless at the offer of a buck per book); I also thought of others, especially my S.O., a big sci-fi buff.

The sight of this made me chuckle, and I knew I had to get it for him:

Yeah, a book about not just your run-of-the-mill Star Trek costumes, but one that is a tie-in to "STAR TREK:The Motion Picture". And much of the content ain't pretty folks. I wish I knew how to properly use our tempermental scanner, because words alone cannot convey the horrors that lie within. The pictures on the cover are deceptive, because A.) It has pictures of childrens and adults in the interior wearing the costumes. AND B.) The quality of the costumes featured on the cover are much, much better than the bulk of what is shown in the book itself.

Aside from the cheap and non-durable materials, such as construction paper and Scotch tape, the patterns leave much to be desired. Looking for a pair of pants that has built-in camel toe? It's in there! Even many of the professionally rendered final results were lamentable - with tons of puckering, poor fit and disco-era detailing. Especially with the occasional side-by-side photos of the movie stills next to the dreck inspired by them. If you want to read a book that illustrates "How to Screw Up a T-Tunic 101", this tome is for you.

My heart goes out to any kid whose parents made them costumes from this book all these years, as well as any well-meaning but credulous fans. (I don't think the "Zaranite" costume on the cover would last even one block of trick-or-treating.) Considering the number of pencil marks in the pattern section of the book, it looks like my copy alone was used multiple times.

I'm sure the names associated with this project lived to regret it, especially otherwise well-regarded Robert Fletcher and Lynn Schnurnberger (listed as mouthful "Lynn Edelman Schnurnberger"). However, this purchase brought some snarky amusement for both me and my man. Oh yeah, it's going to be a fixture in our home library.

So, does anybody need some inspiration for Halloween?

thrifthorror @ 2008-09-11T03:20:00

2008-09-11T10:38:19Z

first post from a long time lurker. i don't have a camera phone (*sigh*...i KNOW) and i always forget to take the digital. so i'm offering you some horrors that reside in my own house!!! perhaps mild by community standards, but still...

Iam completely freekin' obsessed with these plates.

this one is my favorite just for the sheer imaginative power of the thing.

an adult made this one....i think

FUGLY! but i am compelled to buy them, no matter what.

santa....clown?

the years go by, yet nothing changes. hey, what's with all the santa clowns?

the last one is a cheat...my brother made it in kindergarten so it wasn't really trifted. but it's what sparked my mania, so it's included. and no, i have no idea what the puffy purple thing our mom is holding is supposed to be.

and now a totally serious appeal to you fellow thrift horror lovers:

i reall, REALLY love these yet in years of collecting have only come across about a dozen. if anyone see's these while out on their scouting trips PLEASE pick them up for me- i will reimburse the price, the cost of shipping, and even gas if necessary. they must be the hand drawn melmac plates, they are marked "texas ware" on the back. NO PICTURE TOO FUGLY!!!! i will take them ALL. *bonuses* for clowns! and mutants.

thank you....now back to your regularly scheduled horrors ;-D

it came from the thrift store

2008-09-11T04:52:50Z

and it followed me home. well, not so much 'horrifying' as 'weird and amusing'. $2 at some hole-in-the-wall thrift store, Reno, Nevada.