| What's in a word? |
[Dec. 14th, 2008|06:41 pm] |
XPOSTED from my LJ because I think it's important.
What is in a word?
There are words that one can not understand the implications of unless one is a member of the group those words are used as weapons against. No matter how much I believe I can understand the hatefulness of the word n*gger, I can not truly understand all that that word carries for someone who is black. Same as I can never truly understand hateful and hurtful the word g**k is for Asian Americans, or sp*c is for Latino Americans. I understand from an intellectual level how hateful those words are, how degrading to those they are used against, but I can not feel it or truly know it because I am not a member of those groups. Those words have never been directed at me or my people.
As a gay man, however, I can fully understand the damage and full scope of words like c*cksucker, and f*ggot, and f*g. I can tell you first hand how fearful they make me when they are shouted at me on the street. I can tell you directly how degraded I feel when these words are thrown at me. I can tell you directly that when I hear them I must always assume that I will be physically attacked, otherwise I could be putting my life in danger simply for walking down the street. I can tell you directly that when those words are uttered, the adrenaline starts moving and fight-or-flight kicks in.
I have heard these words over and over in my life. These words are horrible, horrible things. I personally do not even like it when other gay men say them as a joke. They are not words to me that can be reclaimed. These are the words that were shouted at Matthew Sheppard as he was beaten to death while tied to a fence, just a g**k was shouted at Vincent Chinn when he was beaten to death with a baseball bat because a couple of white guys (a father and a son) thought he was Japanese and responsible for them losing their jobs at the auto plant due to imports., just as n*gger was shouted at countless black men when they were beaten to death.
Words have meaning, especially when there is a long history of hate behind those words.
So what prompts this? An author has written a m/m erotica novel entitled "Beautiful C*cksucker."
Now, I do understand that the novel is one (I assume) that features a D/s relationship. I understand what the context is. I don't care.
If the author had written an historical book wherein a white man (or woman) falls in love with a black male slave in the south, would that author have used the title "Beautiful N*gger"? Of course not.
I don't care that in the context of the story the characters call each other c*cksuckers. In text, in context, I would still bristle at it, but I would understand. But as the title of a book? NOPE! See, I realize that there are many, many non-pro gay people -- people who love to hunt gay folks -- who will simply see that title -- they will never read the book to understand the context, and if they did, they'd never want to understand the context -- and all they will do is see that title and feel justified for their usage of that word. I don't care how romantic or loving the D/s relationship is depicted in that book. C*cksucker is a horrible, dangerous word, one that should not be used lightly or thought of as a catchy little title for a book. It is offensive. And not until you have had it shouted at you by a group of rowdy, drunk teenagers in a passing car at night can you truly understand how damaging that word is.
This ties in with the concern I have voiced from time to time about m/m erotica and m/m fiction. There are a lot of non-gay males who are writing in this genre. I applaud that. I am not amongst who who believe only gay men should write gay fiction. Straight women, gay men and even straight men have proven to be equally adept at writing gay fiction. However, as I have been reading more and more of this, I see many, many things in the genre which teeter on perpetuating stereotypes of gay men. I've read countless novellas where the gay men are only interested in sticking it into the other guy's hole. I've read 100 page novellas where 85 pages of the text are devoted to sex acts and depictions of gay men doing nothing but rutting like pigs. 15 pages are left for plot and character development. And most times, plot gets the lion share of those extra pages, the gay men left to be nothing more than cardboard cut-outs, lacking any depth or any interest other than sex. In short, a lot of gay men in the genre become nothing more that people who are only interested in one thing...sex. That's is what has been said about us for decades. There is a very fine line here between being pro-gay and writing wonderful fiction and being pro-gay and perpetuating stereotypes and as a writer (no matter what your orientation) it is your responsibility to make sure you don't cross that line. I'm not saying you need to depict gay men as saints (that's just as bad in gay fiction), but you must present gay men realistically. And I can tell you, not every gay man is only interested in getting off.
I applaud everyone who works in the genre, gay straight or some variation thereof. But I implore you...if you are a straight man or woman writing in this genre (or even a gay man or woman doing the same)....PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE think about the implications of what you are writing, whether it be 100 pages of guys fucking or choosing a title. It does make a difference!
Because at the end of the day, if you use a hateful word as a title just to help you sell books, if you perpetuate stereotypes, then even if your intentions are good, you as a non-gay do not need to live with the consequences. I do. And so do hundreds of thousands of other gay men.
Beautiful C*cksucker is not appropriate for the title of a book. I'm sorry, but it isn't. |
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