Small person has gone off to school in her Red Nose. Here is something funny:



(link here, obtained via caseytalk, here)

Shall we go on the honour system? If you watch it, donate to Comic Relief here.

In other news, my hideous medical problem which those of you who follow my Twitter stream will have heard allusions to continues apace, and I have to work 8 hours on the busiest day of the week when it's excruciating agony to walk. Hurrah! Not...

Happy St Davd's day to all the leek-eaters on my f-list, and happy birthday to puddingcat

We have eggses, and flour, and milk, and limes, and muscovado sugar. We're ready to rock!

Om nom nom pancakes!

Ever since I heard that morris dancing was suffering from modern times, there seem to be more and more mentions of it in popular culture. I mean, it's always been the stuff of Pratchett, but last night we watched Oz and James do it, and this morning, via LibDigPig, I discover that there is a film, with Derek Jacobi:



Man, I really want to see that.

... spending time in the company of a very cool hat and an awesome beard (and the people wearing them). matgb and I met with andrewhickey and minnesatva and we walked the dogs, and then went to the National Media Museum and petted the dalek and watched Mr Benn in TV heaven, and saw much other coolness. I still want the 3D Alien poster with light-up Egg, but still can't justify spending a week's food budget on it...

Anyway, then we all went to Marsden and did the Fire Festival.

Which was AWESOME!

Somehow I ended up stewarding (this seems to be a feature of my life), but as it mostly involved trying to get people to not be in the way of other people, and rattling a bucket at them for contributions, it was much less arduous than Lib Dem stewarding.

We got a reasonably good view of the fire juggling people. The fight between The Green Man and Jack Frost was very theatrical, and involved teams of morris dancers with fox masks fighting with burning clubs on each side. And then there was a big burny tree and a guy with a giant fireworky sun on his head and a HUGE firework display, and it was very cool. The Small Person loved it, even though it was very cold. Mat showed her how to make proper snowballs, which she thought was hilarious.

This is probably not the most coherent entry I have ever written, but... YAY! Had a fab day, and spent it with fab people, and am very happy right now. The only fly in the ointment is that I promised to Facebook friend the teenagers that we met at the lantern-building thing (who had turned up tonight dressed as Jack Frost and the Green Man, and very impressively so too) and, typically, the one whose name I can remember has a very common name which could be spelt a number of different ways and thus I can't find them. Oops.

The house is filled with the sound of children sticking snow down each other's coats and screaming outside, and most of the local schools are shut. Hail to the triumph of The Green Man over Jack Frost, then, and nature's sense of irony.

I might get out of bed at some point, but since Mat has taken great glee in telling everyone what a lazy arse I am, I might as well live up to the stereotype.

I hope it's not just me who is really happy that everyone is going on about the awesome that is the ArethaHat. The lady who wore it is pretty damn awesome too, and this should not be forgotten in the flurry of praise for the Hat. Apparently a lot of the people who are professing love for The Hat are doing so mockingly. This saddens me. Awesome Hats should be encouraged, not mocked.

Tomorrow is Imbolc Eve, and a traditional time for Spring Cleaning. Hopefully this will spur me into action... And then Monday is Imbolc. I like Imbolc. Imbolc is a day for pancakes and cheese and cream and dairy-based food (any similarities with Shrove Tuesday might be because, as with Yule and Lammas and Samhain, the Christians know a good festival when they see one and think it's better to appropriate than oppress). We have white candles and cinnamon incense in the house anyway, so celebration is going to be easy.

I suspect that some of you might be wondering why I do this sort of thing when I don't believe in any Gods. It reminds me of that belief that some religious people have that you can't be a moral person if you don't believe in God/Goddess/Pantheon (because someone who does the right thing out of fear of punishment from a SkyFather or whatever is clearly more objectively good than someone who does it out of their own free will), or that you can't experience love without religion... Just because I'm not religious doesn't mean I don't value life, and appreciate the wonders of nature, and it also doesn't mean that I don't want to give the year structure, and remind myself of these things at set times. Also, I have a great love of history and tradition. It's interesting to me to see how festivals of various religions interact with each other, and how many of them are so closely tied to agriculture and so on and so forth.

I know and mourn the fact that some people who are seriously pagan get offended by attitudes like mine. I'm sorry for that, and I'm sorry for them too. Religion of any kind, when you get down to it, is all about people coming together and celebrating the fact that they are alive. I don't think that this kind of celebration should be restricted to the religious, or to those who are entirely serious. One of the best things about being human is our capacity for fun, and if that's not a reason to celebrate (with or without pancakes), I don't know what is.

Note to self: large amounts of brandy at a birthday thing the night before you have to get up early to go somewhere it takes three quarters of an hour to drive to = not a good plan. Watching fabulous old Ealing comedies when you get home and drinking MOAR BRANDY till stupid o'clock is a worse plan.

I didn't wake up till well after we should have been in Marsden, and I am still not out of bed now.

Sorry, Marsden folks!

There are stuff, and also thingies, I wish to blog about. But my brain is full of fog. This is not good for the blogging. However, there IS one important thing I wish to mention. No matter WHAT pink dog says, you should not, under any circumstances, feed your dog chocolate. It's like street-cut crack for them, just as addictive, and just as deadly. Other things that can be poisonous to dogs but might be fed to them by an innocent owner include alcoholic drinks; caffeinated drinks; onions, garlic, and other alliums, which destroy red blood cells in canines; avocados; grapes, which cause kidney failure; uncooked potatoes; some types of fish (especially salmon or trout); and macadamia nuts, which can cause paralysis.

* snuggles her doggies *

We didn't do the Fire Circus Skills by virtue of not actually having been to the festival before and not having the first clue what we were doing... So we made lanterns instead. And it was lots of fun, and we're going back next week to make some more.

We met some really cool people, and we're really looking forward to the actual festival :D

YAY! Now I have to go to work...

I am seriously considering going to sleep before midnight. Why? Because tomorrow I journey forth to Marsden. You see, Marsden has this thing for Imbolc, and tomorrow is... well... The Fire Circus Skills Workshop.

>:D



Mwahahahahahahahahahaha!

Furthermore:



>:D

Today being thirteenth night (what? We run on Goth Time!) we took the tree down tonight. This was facilitated somewhat by the arrival of the Christmas present from Claire in York (well done Royal Mail, did you bring it by Oxcart?), which was a copy of We Wish You a Metal Christmas. Obviously this was the perfect soundtrack for taking down the tree, and Small Person approved particularly of Alice Cooper's version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town and the very noisy Deck the Halls. Mat and I were more amused by - You may say there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandpaw, we believe - and there was much giggling and a bit of headbanging while we dismantled the tree.

We now have (whisper it, for it will not last) a mostly tidy living room. The TV has a motley population of ne'er do wells on top of it, including Pratchett!Death, a Sea Devil, a Zygon, and Boris Karloff; the shelves are full of Doctor Who DVDs; and my lava lamp which I got for my 18th from cousin Jude is flowing nicely. I am sitting on the sofa to type this, and I feel like we have accomplished something together, as a family.

It's little moments like this that make life worth living.

(for those of you wondering, I managed to cadge a lift home from work, and thus didn't even have to pay for a taxi! Thanks Sammi!)

Via tyrell comes the news that Morris Dancing is on the edge of extinction. I am kind of stunned by this. I mean, it's not something I have ever taken part in, but surely our young folk are quite happy to get drunk and hit each other with sticks normally, so why are they embarrassed to do it in the name of tradition?

Still, I have not lost all hope. After all, if knitting can become cool again, nothing is beyond the pale.

Those of you living overseas might not be aware, but part of the tradition of Christmas Day is watching, or listening to, the Queen's Speech at 3 o'clock. Mat and I listened to it on radio four. Her Maj was in sombre mood this year, but I kept smirking to myself... I blame Sandi Toksvig, who had the programme before, and had devoted a large segment of her pick of 2008 to Humph. You see, her Maj's voice and accent are very similar to Humph's, and it doesn't half cheer up the Queen's speech if you keep expecting outrageous sexual innuendo in the next sentence...

We're now listening to Pterry, since we missed it at 12, and are planning to have an extremely nutritious round of crisp sandwiches for Christmas Dinner. I tell you this, internets: BEST. CHRISTMAS. EVAR.

Firstly, and most importantly, happy birthday draich_goch. All those of us who have birthdays around now (myself, hollybeenc, minnesattva, and many others) feel your pain at being overshadowed by Isaac Newton's Birthday at this time of year, but at least Newton is a great scientific figure and not some divisive religious icon ;)

Small Person has been delivered to her daddy, and now all Mat and I have to do is be lazy, and perhaps watch some Doctor Who. She got vast numbers of gifts, including some from customers at the pub (Welsh Peter gave her a Ty Beanie Welsh Dragon, who has been christened Idris, and is being carried around with her obsessively). Also lots and lots of books and games. She says that I must say a special thank you to her namesake, hollybeenc, who got her THREE fab books!

My gift pile was smaller, but no less significant, and also contained lots of books. My bosses got me Do Bats Have Bollocks (the sequel to Do Ants Have Arseholes) which caused much giggling due to the cover art being lots of cartoony bats dancing around in Y-fronts. But I think the nicest one was from my mum and dad. My dad has been a member of the Folio society for a little while now, and thus my parents have lots of really REALLY great books, in beautiful editions. Under the tree for me today was A Vindication of the Rights of Woman by Mary Wollstonecraft. It's gorgeous.

Hope you guys all get similarly precious things for Isaac's birthday, and that you all have a peaceful and happy day.

I worked an eight hour shift at work today. It was pretty busy for most of it. By the time the end of my shift came I was dog tired and ready to go home and collapse... And the my small person came to pick me up from work. She had (with a bit of help from Mat) baked some cupcakes, and handed them round to my bosses and my co-workers, and told them all merry Christmas. Then my friend Jonny's brass band came in and played some carols, and she sang along with all the customers...

And then we went home and Mat cooked some pies, and she and I put up the Christmas tree. I don't hold with all this new-fangled putting the tree up early. It goes up on Christmas Eve, and comes down on 12th night. There are enough baubles on that tree to sink a battleship, including some that are older than me, and two Wile E Coyote ones, and one handmade by Small Person at school. We listened to Christmas music, and we talked about what a good girl she is, and hoped that Santa would bring her lots of presents... And do you know what? I think he might.

You guys know my views on Christmas. If it was up to me I'd have nothing to do with it... But for her? For her, it's worth it.

Have a good Christmas, folks.

Always the first to gauge public opinion on the important matters of the day, I bring you a festive poll inspired by the lovely Helen Duffett.

Poll #1311011 Festive Acompaniments
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All

What goes best with Vince, I mean, mince pies?

Having brandy butter on Vince Mince pies which already contain both brandy and butter makes no sense to me - why not just have a bigger pie? - and the sharp saltyness of Wensleydale cuts through the richness of a mince pie perfectly. But Helen seems to think I am weird for having mine like that, which was somewhat unexpected. I suspect it springs from daddy being a chef, so I may have picked up interesting food ideas - for example, I know people who think I am weird for having black pepper on my strawberries - so I wondered just exactly how weird I am?

Vote away, brave f-list, and tell me!

Firstly, Pratchett:

like Nation – the one that's just come out – that's a book for kids. And people will say: 'Well it covers very adult subjects ...' Yeah, that's why it's a book for kids. Because you want kids to grow up to be adults, not just bigger kids.

ILU Pterry. Read the whole interview in the Indy, and tip your hat to andrewhickey

Secondly, Molloy. I know that this is heresy among certain sections of Who fandom, but Terry will always be MY Davros (if only because bibliophile1887 got him to pose for a Sexy!Davros pic for me LOL). I'm still sad that they recast Davvy for the new series, when Terry is still clearly so willing to do it. And I still say that the opening track of BFA48: Davros is the best opening track of any of the Doctor Who audio plays I have heard. So I found this news story very heartwarming. How cute is it that he had a dalek impression competition at a Christmas lights switch-on? LOL.

No, not gin. Sadly. Silly memes. Both via uglybuffy



... because, let's face it, the idea of Davros picking his nose? That's funny at ANY time of the year...

This one, however, is late. New Year is a month ago, silly people! Anyway:



It seems to be picking (no pun intended) the same stuff out... By the way, if anyone is wondering why I have nose-picking listed among my interests, well, it all goes back to this...

Ten wishes for christmas, blah-de-blah. I only have one. CAN EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT CHRISTMAS ALREADY??? IT'S NOT EVEN DECEMBER!!! STOP IT!!!!! Gods, I hate Christmas so much.

No, actually, fill your boots. Post all you want about bloody Christmas. I'll just cut my default reading list down a bit until January. Then none of us will be upsetting the others.

---

And with that rantette out of the way, onto the linkspammery:

• steerpikelet is calling all people with experience in and around mental health issues. There's a bunch of you read this with depression, and a couple of Aspies and a few people with parental experience of such things. Go, click.
• Hope for PCOSy folks!
• Go Boyzone! I recommend watching the video on mute Mat thinks it's a cynical marketing ploy because people are waking up to the idea that teenage girls like that slash stuff, but if it raises tolerance, who cares?
• tyrell has posted the Joke of the Day.
• Want to help children in need? How about bidding on a lap with The Stig? It's way beyond my budget, but if your well rich? Go for it.
• The Daily Mash has David Attenborough's reaction to the news that Strictly is more popular than nature programmes (NSFW).
• Mr Quist has the best post I have seen about the ContactPoint database.
• Mary Reid also has some very disturbing news. I've been trying to blog about this for nearly two days now, and it just makes me so angry that I can't.

It seems that the time of year has come to debunk the Winterval Myth. Again.

I am tired, and I have worked lots of hours this weekend, and I haven't seen today's new episode of Top Gear yet, and I can't be bothered to go into a full and frank rebuttal. Thankfully, someone else has done it for me.

Read this and this. And then next time someone says, or prints in the newspaper THEY are trying to ban Christmas! It's political correctness gone MAD!!!! just remember what bollocks they are talking. Nobody wants to ban Christmas, not even atheists who actively hate the bloody festival (you would too if a religious festival you don't even believe in ruined your birthday every year) like me. Can we just stop with this stupid fearmongering please? It makes my head hurt.