( A. This sort, if you're Conservative Councillor from Dover, Roger Walkden... )

This is why I will always, always support freedom of speech. Because if we didn't have freedom of speech, people with this kind of reprehensible view would hide it, instead of displaying their naked racism for anyone to see.

Now, who is going to be the first to try the it's only a joke, lighten up? defence?

There's a big pile of Tory bloggers who are always crowing about how awful and incompetent and corrupt and authoritarian the Labour government is, and how different the Tories will be when they get in. And if anyone brings up past performance, they point out that it was a terribly long time ago they were last in government, and anyway, look at David Davis!!!

Ah yes, David Davis. The man who thinks 42 days is worth resigning over, but 28 days is A-OK! Well, you know, you can paint him as a Tory champion of Liberty if you like - although pardon my disbelieving eye-pop - but Cameron and his little buddies, emboldened by the recent opinion poll leads, are distancing themselves from him at the speed of light. And yes, that is this Chris Grayling they're talking about. Oh how corrupt and incompetent and anti-liberty the Labour party are. Isn't there something Christians say about planks and eyeballs?

And then of course, there's today's news (broken by Jo Swinson) about Jack Straw disobeying a court order because he feels like it, and he's Judge Jack Straw! it might be embarrassing for various people. Surely the Tories were up in arms about this? I mean yes, cabinet meetings IN GENERAL should be confidential, but when there's a court order in place, you should obey it, right? The Tories, as champions of law and order, should have been saying this, right? Nobody is above the law, right? Er... Wrong. Dominic Grieve, the craven coward, signified the Tories' complete support for Judge Jack's flagrant disregard for the rule of law.



I don't know if it's Ming the Merciless - who pinched a line from Alex and told them that if they've done nothing wrong, they've nothing to fear from releasing the minutes - or Charlie Brooker who has called this best, but neither Labour nor the parliamentary Conservative party have the fragrant whiff of Roses here.

All of which makes one wonder why a bunch of people who are playing games of Authoritarian Grandmother's Footsteps with the current administration and trying to get as close as they possibly can without getting caught, are packing out the Convention on Modern Liberty? They couldn't POSSIBLY be attempting a figleaf of acceptability for their OWN Authoritarian tendencies, could they? All those of you who are saying the current government is evil, authoritarian, nannying, incompetent, and corrupt? You're right. You're absolutely right. But it does not follow in the slightest that the Tories would be any different.

Did everyone see Prime Minister's Question Time today? I haven't read my f-list yet, but I suspect much merriment will have been made at the expense of dear old Gordon's Freudian slip today, in which he talked about saving the world when he meant to say saving the banks. This is example number one of the length of the very long string which connects Westminster to reality. Gordon Brown really does honestly think that his actions in the last couple of months have saved the world; he genuinely doesn't get that all he's done is keep his surfboard flat enough so that he personally has ridden on top of the vast wave of excrement that's engulfing the rest of us. Nor does he seem to grasp that he could fall off and be in the shit with the proles yet.

Example number two comes from later in the same set of PMQs. Nick Clegg mentions being visited by a constituent at his surgery who is a single mother. If you watch the clip here, it starts at about 14.30. The house erupts in uproarious laughter as soon as he mentions that he was visited by a single mother, and there are many catcalls - one of which sounds like a female MP shouting "shag me! shag ME!" - presumably in reference to Our Glorious Leader's reputed 30 lays.

The catcalls and laughter come from both Labour and the Tories. Even with a microphone, you can't hear what Cleggy is saying. Clearly there are insinuations that because Cleggy has shagged SO many people, the children of this single mother must be his. And it just goes to show how completely out of touch both Labour and the Tories are. They don't even know who this woman is, who is suffering at the hands of uncaring bureaucracy, but they'd rather make insinuations about her sex life than actually worry about the fact that the Revenoo are going to be dragging her to court over THEIR cock-up.

35 poor people A WEEK are being taken to court by the Revenoo because they miscalculate, and then, when the recipient has spent the Revenoo's cock-up, they decide they want it back. THIRTY-FIVE PEOPLE A WEEK. But is this important? No, what's important is scoring some cheap-ass point about Nick Clegg putting it about a bit.

That pisses me off slightly.

1. Thirty is not really that big a number. It's smaller than mine. It's smaller than a lot of other people I know. Nobody outside Westminster cares. Really, they don't.
2. Even if it was the biggest number in the world, it makes NO difference whatsoever to whether or not a politician can do their job. Or have Labour forgotten Robin Cook? And have the Tories forgotten Alan Clark?
3. Clegg was doing his damn job, representing his constituent.
4. The catcallers were impeding him in doing his job
5. That sort of shit is not big and it's not clever.

The thing is, I can quite easily put myself in this woman's shoes. Hell, you all know I have had my issues with the Revenoo. And before anyone suggests it, I haven't shagged Clegg (even if I wanted to, it's hardly likely the sentiment would be returned, given my public sentiments on the man). And, to give Brown due credit, he did make a reasonable fist of the answer, when the rabble had eventually calmed down. But this woman has a serious question, and she deserves a serious answer. She does not deserve to be used as an ad hominem points scoring exercise.

When it suits them, politicians are forever on about re-engaging people with politics. They talk about voter apathy and disenfranchisement. IS IT ANY FUCKING WONDER? This woman is at her wits' end, and she goes to see her MP, and he agrees to try to help her, and this is the reception he gets? This sort of behaviour shows that the catcallers don't take their obligations to their constituents seriously in the slightest, and if they don't take us seriously, why should we take them seriously?

Tory Shadow Immigration Minister Damian Green has been arrested:

Conservative immigration spokesman Damian Green, was arrested earlier in connection with an investigation into a series of leaks from the Home Office.

He was held on suspicion of "conspiring to commit misconduct in a public office," the Metropolitan Police said.

Anyone care to take a guess at what the Daily Fail's leader will be?

GORDON'S STAZI STIFLE FREE SPEECH perhaps?
TORY ARRESTED FOR TELLING TRUTH IN PUBLIC... ?

Given the comments to this morning's entry, I thought a poll was in order:

Poll #1283986 Comedy Gold?
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 33

Which is funnier?

I think there is a certain reluctance among the male of the species to admit that cocks are inherently amusing in a way that vaginas aren't. Vaginas don't try to escape from your underwear and have a look about to see what's going on. Penises, on the other hand, love to jump out at every opportunity. Yet, when one does this in front of you and you (quite naturally) burst into giggles, one tends to be greeted with (in a baffled, slightly hurt tone) words like:

Why are you laughing at my penis? You don't normally laugh at my penis!

I suspect that the truthful answer (I was imagining it squeaking Freeeee! Free at last! and running away down the skirting board) would have killed the mood even more than my giggles already had the last time this occurred... But yes, cocks, definitely funnier than farting IMHO.

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pmoodie, as the f-list's resident Shat Apologist, would you like to explain to me what is psychotic about not inviting someone you hardly know to your wedding? And that's if you even believe the Shat's side of the story. George says he DID invite him and never got a reply...

James Graham has further comments.

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And speaking of the lovely Mr Graham, If you, like me, enjoy perving over James Graham's sexy voice watching exciting debates between bloggers about the minutiae of politics, click here. James has posted the video of himself on the telleh last night, and it DOES feature some interesting (but not entirely surprising) YouGov poll results. I'm still amazed that anyone, even George Osbourne, thinks that George Osbourne would make a competent chancellor, but...

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Shock Horror No! Surely they haven't been making stuff up? Not at that bastion of journalistic integrity, The Sun? I am SHOCKED!!

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I know I have said before that there's no such thing as a must-read blog, but if there were such a thing then Costigan Quist's Himmelgarten Cafe would certainly be in the running for the title. Here, he talks about the current bout of Lib Dem infighting. Why can't we all just get along?

Am doing the netcast this morning, in lieu of Douglas, poor baby. So you get an extra dose of ME this week, you lucky, lucky people! Therefore this morning's entry is somewhat rushed...

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Terrible news: the Tories are using nefarious measures to obtain our bogs! I support Lord Bonkers in his crusade to liberate the commode from the forces of conservatism!

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Best comment on yesterday's SJA comes from lizbee:

Anyway, I am pro-Rani, and pro-Rani's family. Even though we know from Secret Diary of a Call Girl that Rani's dad regularly visits prostitutes.

Ahahahahahahahahahahahaaa

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Am I the only one who thinks that this is completely ridiculous? So what if Jack Ryan wanted to take HIS WIFE to interesting clubs? Is sex so taboo in America these days that you're not even allowed to do it with your WIFE? OK, I accept that as a Republican he's supposed to be socially conservative, but seriously? This is very very scary to me, and I hope that this sort or moralising doesn't start to take hold over here. It's one thing for there to be scandals over affairs and such, because that involves lying, and although it doesn't matter to me, I can understand (with sadness) why it matters to others. But Cthulhu on a pogo stick, the guy wanted to spice up his sex life WITH HIS WIFE and she demurred and divorced him because they weren't compatible. Why is this even a story, let alone a reason for the poor dude to lose his candidacy?

Terry Pratchett is not politically aligned, apparently. Odd, then, that of the three main parties, he's chosen only to talk to the Tories...

Now, on the one hand, it's a move born of a fairly decent calculation as to who the next government is going to be and where a busy man might best spend his time to try and get something done... But on the other hand, making it appear that a Tory victory is inevitable, and the others are not worth bothering with at all might end up backfiring a bit. And an endorsement? After the amount of money that man has had out of me, I don't even want to think about that. I hope to hell they paid him...

If anyone remains who is unsure of Ros Scott's AWESOMENESS: she likes Alice Cooper. If not in general, then at least for playing Guitar Hero. ETA: this might have inspired a slightly rash email...

The Wilson Sisters who form the backbone of Heart, however, are not enamoured of the Republicans using one of their songs. Their guitarist Roger Fisher takes a more practical approach: Fisher said he strongly endorsed the Democratic ticket, and would donate a portion of royalties he receives from the Republicans' airing of "Barracuda" to the campaign of Sen. Barack Obama. "With my contribution to Obama's campaign, the Republicans are now supporting Obama," he said. There's something fitting about that.

Via strangefrontier and puddingcat, Metallica's biggest hit in LOLcat form. I am not a big fan of LOLcats, finding most of them supremely unamusing. But this? This is class.

Via Mitch Benn: a musical interlude at the Republican National Convention:



And if music be the food of love... Via LDV comes the news that some Tories take the idea of enterprise so seriously that they'll even put a price on shagging themselves and their wives. I would have no problem with this whatsoever, if they weren't 1, charging money for it, which is illegal and 2, espousing traditional Tory Family Values for everyone else while practising bipolyprostitution behind closed doors.

Don't be ashamed of your bipoly leanings, Tory folks! There's nothing wrong with a good threesome! Accept the fact that the nuclear family is only one of the many options for people to live legitimate and happy lives in, and we'll ALL get on much better!

Best entry I have seen on the death of the iconic Don LaFontaine is Steve's.

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mle292 links to news of the free RATM concert that was supposed to happen outside the Republican National Convention. Land of the Free? Whoever told you that is your enemy...

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Via sylo_tode, a slightly cruel cartoon for Monopoly players:



I see the level of debate about Palin isn't going to rise any time soon, then?

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It is something I still cannot understand: why do scientists conduct research into heterosexual relationships and only study the men in those relationships? Does it not take two to make a heterosexual monogamous relationship? Warning for those who are happily non-het and/or non-monogamous: this article will make your ears steam in it's normative presumption.

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And if that doesn't make you grumpy, Peter Black has lit the blue touchpaper and is sprinting away. Ann Widdecombe. One of those people who, although she has a raft of abhorrent opinions, at least holds them honestly and with integrity, making you respect her even as you detest her. Dammit.

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To end on a cheerful note, Millennium has been to Bletchley Park, bless him. Loveliest entry of the day so far.

Since they made a video response to the petition to make Clarkson prime minister:



... and using my icon, no less! Part of me is annoyed that my taxes went to pay for this. The rest of me is rather pleased that someone in Downing Street appears to actually be a human being.

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The age banding of books row rumbles on. If you want to join Pterry and Gneil and many many others in signing the petition against it, the link is here.

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Dear old Boris. Just when you think you've got him pegged, he goes and makes a good point.

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Septicisle reviews the Book of Dave and finds it somewhat wanting.

First things first: endless_psych in brilliant defence of British Sci-fi. And he doesn't even MENTION HG Wells or John Wyndham.

Secondly, today's xkcd_rss is awesome:


Speaking of teachers, Teachers teach to the test shock.

Via Chicken Yoghurt, What are your a-levels worth? 3 As and a D for me. This means Jaiesh 4 As is smarter than me?

Tory Party Election Slogans. - “Tories: because money-grabbing opportunists are STILL better than well-meaning psychopaths.” - “Tories: We’re marginally less likely to march the whole country down the slow road to becoming Airstrip One.” - “Tories: Because you want to believe there’s a difference.”

I want one! Best spider EVAR!

OMG the BPAL update!! I want Hellhound and John Barleycorn and Sugar Skull and Sticky Pillowcase...

... it might be time for him to say something.

Via LDV and Liberal Burblings comes the news that even the Torygraph is calling for David Cameron to say something about the Ian Oakley scandal:

It is time for him to start telling us what he stands for. When the Ian Oakley scandal first broke, the official Conservative response was that it would be "inappropriate" to comment. But now he has actually pleaded guilty to a three-year sexist vendetta, and still the new, modern, forward-thinking, women-friendly party has failed to come up with even a line. Could we perhaps, future prime minister, hear your views?

So, how about it, Mr. C?

Too tired to give you actual thoughts of my own; here are some that belong to other people.

Brilliant internet campaign strategy in Kansas. Yes, THAT Kansas.

Nick Cohen provides a hymnsheet for secularists to sing to.

In soviet Russia, harrassment sexes you. Note to self, don't EVER move to Russia. Meanwhile, in not-soviet USA, bloggers tax government!

Bwahahahahaha! (in case they put content up, The Green Top has capped it).

If you've nothing to hide, you've nothing to fear from a national DNA database, right?

Three from Sp!ked: The Privatisation of Politics, Don't Blame Parents for Cotton Wool Kids (I can't help adding a "because they're sheeple who must follow the crowd!" to that headline), and a nice article about online censorship.

And finally, the Orwell Diaries go live starting tomorrow. Don't forget to add orwelldiaries to your f-list.

Y'all have probably heard about the crazy Tory in Watford who waged a two year hate campaign against his Lib Dem opponent and when convicted on five counts of criminal damage and two of harassment, asked for a further 68 instances to be taken into consideration? I feel a sense of weary resignation that this sort of thing was bound to happen sooner or later. Given the hijinks that activists on campaign trails get up to all the time, I'm just glad it wasn't a member of my party who went a bit mental and took it several shades too far with the name-calling. But you know what? If it HAD have been a member of my party, the reaction of the higher-ups would have been very different.

You see, the thing that brings the whole political process into disrepute is not that one bad apple (or even bunch of bad apples) who do nasty things; it's the reaction of those in charge of them. If it comes to light that someone in the party has done something totally unacceptable, like this, you hold an investigation. You don't fob people off and hope it goes away. If they are actually convicted of criminal offences, you don't deny all knowledge and pretend you never knew the guy in the first place. You certainly don't try to pretend it was all larks, especially not when you've been banging on for years about how people who do this sort of thing should have the book thrown at them...

Politicians of ALL parties need to pay attention to this and decide NOW what they are going to do when the next bad apple turns up. Because the next bad apple WILL turn up, and yes, it might be a Tory again, but it could be Labour, or Green, or even one of us. There need to be procedures, and they need to be followed. People are never going to regain any sort of trust in the political process if this culture of cover up continues. When something like this happens in your own party, you need to gird your loins and unite in condemnation of it; anything less is fodder for those who think politicians are all weasels on the make (no offence to the lovely pink_weasel).

And the less said about putting convicted forger/fraudsters and bunny-boilers who can't control their temper up for election, the better.

... or ibarw for short. Hence my new default icon, featuring the awesome Brigadier Winifred Bambera. Doctor Who seems to specialise in awesome Brigadiers, and Bambera is no exception. She's cool, calm, and collected. She's brave and resourceful, smart and assured in her command position. She can handle herself, and she can handle a variety of weapons. And she's black.

In modern Who, we don't blink at the thought that Martha can be promoted to a high position within UNIT (although, of course, her commanding officer is a white man in his fifties); in the eighties, the commanding officer was a black woman, and this was SHOCKING. In some ways, the eighties were much worse than now; in others, they were much better. Even though the situation in general was much more racist than now, the racism there was seemed much less insidious, much more defeatable. There was hope then, where there is often resignation now. There is pressure now that some advances have been made for people of colour to accept their position: a subtle implication that They should be grateful They have been "allowed" to progress as far as they have towards equality, but They can never have true equality.

Needless to say, I abhor this. And I will be adopting the theme of racism for the week - for one thing, it'll be a change from sexism for you all. For another thing, as a white person, racism is my responsibility. It's not enough for white people to not be racist, we need to speak out against racism too. In that spirit, I give you this video, with a hat-tip to innerbrat



If you want to participate in ibarw, the info is here.

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In other news: Kiera Knightley is awesome and Michael Gove is unintentionally hilarious.

G'night, all.

Am listening to the Woman's Hour item on black fathers...

Has anyone actually done a study on white fathers of similar demographics? Because I bet the rate of absentee fathers has much more to do with poverty than race, just like the prospects of your child have much more to do with money than whether or not you are married. We all know that single mothers are more likely to be poor, after all...

Just a thought.

They've found the deleted scenes from Metropolis! Sci-fi geeks rejoice! And pray Cthulhu we get a showing of it at the FFW next year...

matgb has a highly amusing post about the hypocrisy of the guy who sued the BBC for showing Jerry Springer: The Opera and upsetting his delicate religious sensibilities (related Facebook group).

Don't watch anything on YouTube which isn't allowed to be there, else you'll get got.

Creationism hits science classrooms in the UK. and we are funding it via the state school mechanism. *I* am paying for some poor kids to be taught complete bollocks as though it is fact. Amused Cynicism makes comment more eloquently than I ever could.

The Torygraph have picked their top ten ever Doctor Who episodes. No surprises that it's Ten-heavy, but perhaps surprising that it contains no Trout. And, obvs, Caves of Androzani should be #1.

James May is amazed that the BBC are upset with him for drinking a G&T, when really, they should be upset with him for putting slices of lemon in it. LIME, James, LIME!

Jeremy Thorpe says Robert Mugabe must die. I guess there's a limit to everyone's Liberalism, eh?

David Davies shows just how pro-liberty he really is. Hey ho. Is anyone actually surprised by this?

Chicky Yog imagines Gordon as a barman and finds him wanting.

The turkeys HAVE voted for Christmas: Mike at PB is right. Any PPC opposing any of the lot who voted for this is going to have a field day.

So suddenly, now that Nick Clegg and the rest of my party have agreed to not field a candidate against him, David Davies is broadening his platform from the single issue of 42 days and presuming to speak on all issues of civil liberty and making himself sound like he (and by extension, his party) are the sole defenders of liberty in this country...

We're far too nice in our party, aren't we? How did nobody see this coming?

We should have told the tory tosser to stuff it, stood against him, and said you don't honestly think you'd have any more freedom under the Tories, do you? But no, we thought we'd be cuddly and fluffy, and have now been knifed in the back for it.

Fucking marvellous.

Of course, thinking about some of the members of my party, especially the local party, it's not like we'd be any better than the main two, either... Just look at our transport policy, for starters. We look at Darling, the worst transport secretary in... in forever, and we look at his policies, and somehow, instead of saying Christ, that's horrendous! we ADOPT them.

I am so depressed with the whole boiling. I'd take Moodie's attitude (that one should laugh at politicians rather than be depressed by them) apart from one minor problem. THIS AFFECTS ALL OF OUR LIVES. Their petty willy-waving and macho posturing is fucking up life for the rest of us and it pisses me off.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin the Blue Corner, representing batshit insanity and The Cornerstone Group, Nadine Dorries, MP. In the very definitely not-blue corner, matgb's mate Unity, representing sane but slightly pompous windbagginess. I'm willing to run a sweep on whether Unity can bore Mad Nad to death with screeds and screeds of well-meaning tl;dr before she gets into double figures in her naming and shaming campaign...

Seriously, though, how in the hell did such an intellectually bankrupt, morally inconsistent, vapid, irritating hag get elected in the first place? It's people like her and Hazel "situated at the heart of the regional centre" Blears that make even someone as arch-feminist as me question the wisdom of allowing women to stand for parliament^#...

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^# Note for the hard of thinking: this is what is technically known as gallows humour. My entire gender is represented by women like them, and they will bring down doom on us all. I am not serious when I say that women should not be allowed to stand for parliament. But it would be nice if fuckwits weren't allowed to stand for parliament.

If Boris wins then he'll behave as Boris will: sticking broadly to Ken's spending policies, making a tokenistic gesture like scrapping bendies for Routemasters, and basically proving that there isn't really a Rizla to slip between the two main parties on how they run things economically. And then maybe some of the young impressionable things I know, who don't remember living under a Tory government, would be maybe less inclined to believe that they actually ARE a party of small government and economic competence rather than just posturing as one because it's electorally expedient. And then they'd be less likely to vote Tory at a general election.

I have no objection to some Tories. I really like Ken Clarke. I have a big soft spot for Teresa May. William Hague is personally annoying but has some politically viable ideas... I actually have a big soft spot for Boris. At least he's entertaining, and there's a shrewd intellect under that foppish mop of blonde hair. But a party led by posturing posh boy Cameron and the twelve year old George Osbourne, and prominently featuring the dubious talents of Nadine Dorries? That's the stuff of nightmares, surely? I mean, yes, Brown is not doing well, and his cabinet is awful... But does anybody seriously believe a Cameron-led government would be better?