thequestionclub: does clothing matter?

Katy Mae (

katyowns) wrote in

thequestionclub,
@ 2007-01-15 20:47:00

does clothing matter?
this is a hypothetical..

Say you have a 10 year son, who's mature for his age, gets good grades, is involved in after school activities, does his chores, and for the gist of it is what people would call a "good kid".

One day he tells you that he wants to start wearing skirts and other girls clothing to school, that thats what he feels comfortable in and understands he's going to get teased. What would you do, let him do what he wants? bring him to therapy? forbid him from it? something else?

what are the reasons behind your choice?

edit/
2nd q, if you would support his decision, would you fight the school if they said it was against their dresscode? this would be in a non-uniform situation

Page 1 of 2
<<	[1] [2]	>>

(Post a new comment)

	xmorningxrosex 2007-01-16 01:54 am UTC (link)
	I'd be fine with it. My reasoning is that I'm not homophobic, transphobic, or a believer in strict gender roles. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	katyowns 2007-01-16 01:55 am UTC (link)
	thats a fine reason to me :) (Reply to this) (Parent)

	macabre 2007-01-16 01:55 am UTC (link)
	I'd let him do what he wants. It's pretty common for young children to realize that they feel different with their body. Surgery is where I'd draw a line. (Reply to this)

flaxen_curls
2007-01-16 01:55 am UTC (link)

I'd let him do it. He says he is aware of how the other kids will react to him, which is the main thing I'd really be worried about. There was a guy a year behind me in school (who was always a little "off") that eventually started wearing girls' clothes. Since then he has changed his name and started the process of becoming a woman. Personally I say let him do what he wants, although I'm not friends with him and so I don't see first hand if/what struggles he faces.

(Reply to this)

	pageless 2007-01-16 01:56 am UTC (link)
	I'd gladly let him do it, if he truly understood he'd likely get teased. :) I never followed the rules of being a girl, whyever would I force my son to just follow the rules of being a boy? Kudos to him. Though I'd probably insist he wait a couple years, when he'd be bigger and could clock anyone who didn't like how sexy his legs would look. ;P (Reply to this)

	clytem 2007-01-16 01:58 am UTC (link)
	I'd say no, but only because most schools have a dress code thing and he'd get suspended. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	pageless 2007-01-16 02:00 am UTC (link)
	Random fact: My high school had uniforms, not just a dress code. It was strict to a tee, yet there were guys who wore kilts. So long as they wore them with the 'proper' leggings underneath, it was fine. ;) (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

	lazarusloafer 2007-01-16 01:59 am UTC (link)
	Let him, because there is no good reason not to. (Reply to this)

	redlightlove 2007-01-16 02:04 am UTC (link)
	No. Because he is a BOY, and boys don't wear skirts unless they are fairies. No boy of mine would be a fairy. (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

	pageless 2007-01-16 02:07 am UTC (link)
	Tell that to this guy. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

	realcdaae 2007-01-16 02:05 am UTC (link)
	So long as he really understands he's going to get teased, I'd let him go ahead. If the school said it was against their dress code, I'd make a stink. However, I'd be unlikely to be sending any of my hypothetical kids to a school that'd have a problem with it. (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

	katyowns 2007-01-16 02:06 am UTC (link)
	a lot of public schools have dress codes saying that males can't wear dress's and such cause it would be distracting from class (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

	lunarcapricorn 2007-01-16 02:06 am UTC (link)
	No. Buy him some more comfortable pants. (Reply to this)

	georgianess 2007-01-16 02:06 am UTC (link)
	I'd say let him do it. This is sorta like my 12 year-old brother in a nutshell- he loves wearing my dresses, and openly admits he wants to be a transvestite as he gets older and people become more accepting. There is no good reason not to let him do it. (Reply to this)

	katyowns 2007-01-16 02:12 am UTC (link)
	i acually realized i did that wrong and changed the entire sentence before i saw this, haha (Reply to this) (Parent)

	vag 2007-01-16 02:14 am UTC (link)
	I'd let him, but I'd also take him to a therapist and teach him how to fight. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	noveldevice 2007-01-16 02:23 am UTC (link)
	Yup. He could wear skirts and such all he liked, but whether he liked it or not he'd start learning stickfighting from his daddy, and I'd find him a nice therapist so he'd have someone to talk to about all the asshats he had to smack down at school. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

	apestaartje 2007-01-16 02:22 am UTC (link)
	That reminds me of a documentary I saw a while back about a 7 yearold Dutch boy who wants to be a girl. His parents treat him like a daughter and he looks and dresses like a girl. I found it online here. It's all in Dutch, obviously. In the documentary they say that by the time he's going through puberty he might change his mind. I'd probably let him wear the girl's clothing. (Reply to this)

	macabre 2007-01-16 02:42 am UTC (link)
	Wearing skirts doesn't necessarily mean the person is gay. They could feel they should have been born a woman. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

	deviatednorm 2007-01-16 02:39 am UTC (link)
	nod Being a teenager is hard enough without trying. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	ahmunnaeetchu 2007-01-16 02:41 am UTC (link)
	I would try to talk to him about why he feels this way and then allow him to wear the clothes if he still wanted to. Of course, the school would object to it so after that I would not allow him to wear the clothing to school. Nice little lesson on following the rules. (Reply to this)

	mizcheyenne 2007-01-16 02:45 am UTC (link)
	I'd let him, and also talk to him about his sense of gender, and to parents of children who are trans and try to gain more insight on how I can best support him. (Reply to this)

	supernovacaine 2007-01-16 02:45 am UTC (link)
	I don't entirely understand why a transsexual feels the need to wear a dress...this is the 21st century. Women wear pants too. I'm dead serious. I don't completely get it. Anyone want to add some insight? (Reply to this) (Thread)(Expand)

	katyowns 2007-01-16 02:47 am UTC (link)
	I wear dresses, I enjoy them, I am a woman. If someone born a man feels they are a woman inside, I imagine like myself they may just enjoy wearing them. (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)(Expand)

	ryanxcore87 2007-01-16 02:55 am UTC (link)
	I wouldn't let him. (Reply to this)

	ahmunnaeetchu 2007-01-16 03:00 am UTC (link)
	P.S. Like it really matters anyway? Don't you guys know the cool new thing is for guys to look like girls and girls to look like guys? I mean-- come on, we can all wear makeup and shave our heads! We all wear pants two sizes too small. Its equality, man! (Reply to this)

	argh4itchytasty 2007-01-16 03:02 am UTC (link)
	I wouldn't hold it against him or anything, but I'd explain to him that I wouldn't let him go to school like that, because kids can be cruel. I wouldn't want to get a call from the school saying he had been beaten terribly, or worse, killed. (Reply to this)

About

Help

Get Involved

Legal

Store

LJ Labs

	backburner 2007-01-16 03:05 am UTC (link)
	I'd let him, but I'd make him go to therapy. Not to change his mind, but to help him process reactions he may be getting to better flesh out what his feeling are, what may be transitory vs. core beliefs. (Reply to this)

	hajiomatic 2007-01-16 03:07 am UTC (link)
	TIME TO HOMESCHOOL..... (Reply to this)

Username:		Create an Account Forgot your login? Login w/ OpenID
Password:
	Remember Me
	English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…