I typed up the John Krasinski interview from The Improper Bostonian for those of you who are not privileged enough to live in these parts (ha). There's a gorgeous picture of John that comes along with the article (other than the one on the cover) that I will try and scan if I can fix my scanner. All I have to say is: I am considering working in a carnival. Read on to see why...

SOROFF ON: JOHN KRASINSKI
Interview by Jonathan Soroff; Photograph by Greg Henry/Lamoine Photo Group

Having sprung to fame playing the nerdy sales rep Jim Halpert on the NBC comedy The Office, John Krasinski, 26, was born and raised in Newton and graduated from Newton South High School. After earning a degree in playwriting, with honors, from Brown, he studied at the National Theater Institute. His television credits include appearances on Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Ed and Without a Trace, while his feature film experiences include Kinsey, Duane Hopwood and the recent Jake Gyllenhaal film, Jarhead, as well as the upcoming Christopher Guest movie For Your Consideration. He divides his time between New York City and Los Angeles.

Jonathan Soroff: Krasinski must be a stage name, right?
John Krasinski: It is. My name was originally John Collins, but I just didn't think it had the flair I needed. I found out the poet laureate of Poland was named Krasinski and so it seemed like a shoe-in for show business.

JS: Good thinking. Let's play TV trivia: Sanford and Son, All in the Family, Queer as Folk and The Office. What do they all have in common?
JK: They were all adapted from English shows.

JS: Very good. But most shows taken from England are bombs. Look at that show Coupling. It was a total dog.
JK: Yeah, or that British show... what was it called? Soprani? It was about a family of soccer hooligans in a bar, and they tried to bring it over here as The Sopranos... Oh, wait. That did OK. Actually the producers of our show are the same ones who brought over Coupling.

JS: So you can't say anything bad about it.
JK: No, but what I can say is that the British version of The Office is literally a perfect show, and everybody in our cast thinks that.

JS: Your show is sort of painful to witness. It's like watching a train wreck. Aren't you just squirming in most of those scenes?
JK: Yes. Especially the long pauses where I'm wondering why Steve [Carell] just said what he did. The good news is that we understand the realism of it. There are painful situations in 9-to-5 life, and we give you the ability to laugh at it, since most people sure as hell can't do it at work.

JS: Have you ever had a 9-to-5 job?
JK: I did a lot of internships. I interned at Hill, Holliday, which was a blast. It was a trip, working on stuff like the Dunkin' Donuts commercials, which still stand as some of the funniest I've ever seen. And then I worked for Conan O'Brien. I was his script intern.

JS: Another Boston homey. Speaking of which, what's up with the fact that everyone on The Office is from Boston?
JK: Boston is actually the capital of the world. You didn't know that? We breed smart-ass, quippy, funny people. Not that I'm one of them. I just sorta sneaked in under the radar.

JS: One thing you'd like to hear about yourself around an office water cooler?
JK: I guess I'd love to hear that this is the cutting edge of comedy right now. We tip our hats to shows like Arrested Development and Curb Your Enthusiasm, and to be mentioned in the same breath as them is really flattering.

JS: You and B.J. Novak, who plays Ryan the temp and writes for the show, graduated from high school together. Who was the class clown?
JK: Interesting. Well, he was kind of a genius and he wrote the first thing I was ever in, which was a parody of the school, so I guess he'd be the class clown.

JS: So are you two like a comedic Matt and Ben?
JK: Oh, yeah, In fact, we were really bummed out that they stole the math genius idea, because we had some really good stuff goin' with that. Ours involved a couple of gifted monkeys, which was actually a really nice twist, so at least they didn't bite that off of us.

JS: You just made Jarhead with Jake Gyllenhaal. Ever wish you'd starred in Brokeback Mountain with him?
JK: Are you kidding? To ride horses through the West with Jake...

JS: ... and to sodomize him in a tent?
JK: Oh, wait a minute. That was all back-story. You think Ang Lee got the close-up?

JS: Yup. Of him and Heath Ledger. So there were no sodomy jokes on the Jarhead set?
JK: No. I think I was too scared of getting beat up. He was so jacked for that movie. I was like, "Wait! What happened to Donnie Darko Jake? I could take that guy." Not so much the jacked-up Jake Gyllenhaal in Jarhead. Oh, that was a good tongue-twister.

JS: What was your first job ever?
JK: Raking leaves for a woman named Mrs. Gorin.

JS: That sounds dirty.
JK: No, no, no. When I shoveled her walkway -- that sounds dirty.

JS: Hope you got a raise for that. You went to an Ivy League school and now you pretend to be an entry-level schmendrick. Is your father the doctor proud?
JK: My dad is psyched. He has patients coming in and telling him about their favorite scenes, and he's having a great time with the whole thing. My dad actually said he'd never been more proud of me than when I decided to [become an actor]. So there's the tear-jerker part of your interview.

JS: That's how my dad felt when I told him I was a piano player in a whorehouse. Anyway, who's a better talk show host: Conan O'Brien or Tony Danza?
JK: Ouch. You're putting me on the spot because I just did both shows.

JS: I know.
JK: I guess I'll have to say Conan for no other reason than that I have to go with family. He was the inspiration of all comedy for me. I watched him every night. Then, when I interned for him, it probably reached stalker status, because I was this huge fan getting closer and closer to him. And being in his guest chair was quite honestly the best perk of this whole thing, besides actign on an incredibly cool show... of course, second only to being interviewed by The Improper Bostonian.

JS: Ass-kisser. So your character is in unrequited love. Ever try to win someone over from a significant other?
JK: I'm trying to right now. I'm smitten with a girl from college who has consistently been dating someone when I have been single and vice versa. [Side Note: What a lucky, lucky woman.]

JS: There's another tear-jerking moment. I think our readers will we weeping reading this.
JK: Well, I hope they bombard you with phone numbers. This is basically just a one-page dating ad.

JS: OK, give me your personal: Single White Actor Seeks Woman with No Teeth and Webbed Feet?
JK: Umm, no. That's a little over the top. How about Single White Male seeks intelligent, fun-loving woman with a sense of humor who also works as a carny.

JS: There's nothing sexier than a woman from the midway. Now I'm going to be your mother for a minute. You're workin' that shaggy dog look pretty hard. When are you going to get a haircut?
JK: I actually did. It's not shorter, but it's less wing-y.

JS: Good, because that's what I objected to-- the Farrah Fawcett Majors-ness of it all. So what do you consider your best feature?
JK: The fuzzy ties I wear on the show.

JS: That's sort of sad.
JK: OK, in total seriousness, I'd say my spontaneity.

JS: One thing you'd have plastic surgery on if you could?
JK: My fuzzy ties.

JS: OK, time for the annoying job interview question: In 10 years, where do you see yourself?
JK: I want to be at the Huntington Theatre Company, playing Sandy the dog in a revival of Annie.

JS: I'll look forward to it. Who would you want to play you in the movie of your life?
JK: Haley Joel Osment. I think if he gets into an awkward teenage phase, he'd be perfect.

JS: Last question: If this were a job interview, tell me one reason why I should hire you.
JK: Because I make a mean cup o' coffee.

Cross-posted to john_krasinski.