Translation of the SNL Digital Short - Japanese Office

I know this is a bit late but I wanted to share this translation that I did for a friend of the SNL Digital short of the Japanese Office as seen here.





~Please do not use this translation outside theoffice_us without permission. Thanks.~

Disclaimer: This is not a professional translation. Please be kind if you find any errors.

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Key:
/___ / = action taking place
TN = translator's note
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----opening scene----

Video shots of an ancient Japanese castle, a bullet train running down the tracks, a busy city corner with people milling about, a sign denoting a name of a city and its population [TN: the kanji characters were too blurry to translate], followed by a sign that reads in simple letters, "Dunder Miflin", "Delivery", "Dock1" and "Dock2".

Video shots in the office of Michael, Dwight (who is shredding a document containing a bunch of random, kanji characters), Jim talking on the phone while eating a bowl of ramen noodles with chopsticks, Pam talking on the phone (there's a sign on her desk in front of the Hello Kitty figurine that says, 'receptionist'), Oscar(?) with the calculator, Michael adjusting the maneki neko statuette, [TN: a traditional ceramic cat with one paw raised often seen in homes and places of business as a good luck charm to bring forth wealth]. Next to the maneki neko is his name plate that reads, 'Michael Scott.' End opening with the title, 'Sono Jimusho' - literally translated, 'That Office.'

----end opening scene----

Pam: /answers the phone/ Hello. Dunder Miflin. This is Pam.
Michael: /enters the office and approaches the reception desk/ Pam, Pam, Pam, Pam, Pammmmmuuuu......san[TN: 'san' is a universal title attached to the end of names to address people]

Pam: Michael-san how are you doing?
Michael: That's what she said.

/Michael looks at the camera slyly bows and walks away/


----in Michael's office----

Michael: I'm the funniest boss in Japan. /lifts up his coffee mug that reads, 'World's Funniest President/Boss'/

----Jim's/Dwight's Desk----

/Jim calls Dwight on the phone/

Dwight: /Answers the phone/ Hello.
Jim: Where is your stapler?
Dwight: /discovers his jello ensconced stapler/ Jackass!

/Pam giggles, Jim looks innocent, Pam giggles some more and Michael enters the scene/

Michael: What is going on here?

/Dwight and Jim bow deeply while apologizing profusely. Pam joins in on the apology-fest/

----commercial----

Regis Philbin advertises a fake, Japanese brand hygiene product called, 'Ohimesama Tampons' [TN: I thinks 'ohime' means 'princess'] packaged in a pink box labeled with a baby duck. The little tampon mascot says, 'Ohayou!('Good morning!')

----end commercial----

Michael: /introduces himself to his employees in the conference room/ I am your Regional Manager.

Dwight: And I am the Assistant Regional Manager.

Michael: No you are not the Assistant Regional Manager. You are the assistant to the Regional Manager.

Michael: Now let us do some 'rajio taisou' exercises (rajio taisou - a set of regimented warm-up exercises implemented in some of the offices in Japan to promote a healthy body and mind for work).

Pam: Michael cares for everyone's health. /giggles/

/Everyone continues to exercise. Stanley does the crossword puzzles. Michael hurts his shoulder while exercising./

---Michael in his office-----

Michael: I think I did a great job. What do you think? /picks up and shakes the bobblehead/ Yes, yes, yes!

----Michael sings karaoke----

Michael: She is beautiful to me.

Dwight: /serves Michael some sake(Japanese rice wine)/ Kampai!(cheers!)

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Ending credit reads -

'Producer,
Souyasara
Souyahana'
[TN: I don't think this holds any meaning whatsoever. Just as random as the names in the opening credits]



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I was amused by how the setting contained so many props that overtly screamed 'Japanese' such as origami paper cranes, bottles of a popular brand oolong tea, bonsai trees, ukiyo-e, and a number of Hello Kitty and Japanese based anime figurines. ^o^