the_dragons: coming out

cassander42 (

cassander42) wrote in

the_dragons,
@ 2007-04-29 08:12:00

coming out
Heyas...

I just joined this community, after adding "otherkin" to my interests and scanning the communities listed. So, yeah, I'm an electrum dragon living in the DC area. I recently wrote a long journal entry about why I believe myself to be a dragon as a response to someone else thinking the idea is nuts. If you want to read more about my otherkinism and how I came to see myself as a dragon, you can take a look here.

Not very much into the community.. about all I do right now is read TheriThere. A bit disillusioned by what furry has become, not sure I'll find anything different with otherkin. But I am what I am.

And yeah, the avatar isn't really a pic of me, but until I get one made that can work as an avatar and really fits, I just use this one from a Paul Jaquays painting I really like.

(Post a new comment)

makuus
2007-04-29 01:00 pm UTC (link)

Not very much into the community.. about all I do right now is read TheriThere. A bit disillusioned by what furry has become, not sure I'll find anything different with otherkin. But I am what I am.

And that's all you need be. One finds that any enclave of individuals of a specific focus has its moments and its members. Somewhere along the line, I learned that the best thing to be is yourself, find members whose company you enjoy, and not worry so much about what the group is doing, because it will, in some way, disappoint.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

cassander42
2007-04-30 12:04 am UTC (link)

Thanks.

I've found it a bit hard to find those members, actually. I have a couple furry friends, but that's about it really. The best place I've found to meet people online so far is a message board dedicated to an obscure singer-songwriter, Heather Nova. I've got a number of friends there and have met several IRL. But perhaps the fact that we share the love of a certain kind of music makes things less controversial so we don't get as riled up. Or maybe I get along with Europeans better? I donno.

But I certainly do have less expectations of them... all I expect them to do is like the same artist as me. I don't expect them to understand my beliefs or be tolerating of certain behaviors. If a furry is not tolerant of typical furry behavior, I'll get annoyed, while I wouldn't expect a non furry to be so. And an environment full of such people I'd expect to be tolerant as well. The "no leash" rule at anthrocon, for example, seemed very strange.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

makuus
2007-05-01 01:41 am UTC (link)

I might hazard a guess that the underlying answer is all about expectations. You get along with a rather narrowly-focused interest group because it has the simple and non-controversial aim of sharing experiences concerning the artist in question. Nothing further is needed to form a connection and thus there is little chance of unmet expectations, on all sides. In larger groups, whose interests may be very loose and ill-defined, there are plenty of chances for unmet expectations, and with them discontent and dissatisfaction.

Your example at the end is also about expectations. While the furry group normalizes behaviors of which society at-large disapproves, it behooves that group, still -- when interacting in spaces with non-furs -- to rise to reasonable expectations of public decorum (which do not see leashes as something acceptable). Those who openly care to buck societal standards for their own self-interest pay a premium for their freedom, in closed off avenues of opportunity. Those in charge of ensuring that a large group of furries continues to have a space in which to meet will ask that some make small sacrifices to ensure the continued cooperation of society, which includes the hotel, dining establishments, and host city law enforcement. *smirk* Thus, what you might see as strange from the Anthrocon organizers, one might see as the asking of a concession so that the group 'plays well with' all non-furry parties involved.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

cassander42
2007-05-01 12:05 pm UTC (link)

But it's a gathering of furries... shouldn't that be about letting people be as they are around each other? People are repressed enough in everyday life, but at a furry convention too?

Also, I've found "normals" a lot less freaked out about things than most people give them credit. The horrified reminder of one person to another than she cannot leave the hotel with her tail and ears was pretty shocking. If one dares go about normal life with such things, they might, OMG, get compliments from strangers on the craftwork. Same goes for collars, from what I've seen. I'd say it's certain members of the "fandom" that are the strictest in enforcing any sort of "public decorum".

Anyone who is offended by walking by a furry convention and seeing someone hold another's leash, well, that's the person who is the most strange and abnormal in my book.

But a weekend of self-loathing, hate, and repression around others that are supposedly one's own kind? Not my idea of a good time.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

makuus
2007-05-01 12:17 pm UTC (link)

Your perspective I suppose. However, I think you mistake some things, if your ultimate judgment of the convention is "a weekend of self-loathing, hate, and repression". May I ask if you've been? People will wear ears and tails no problem inside and outside those spaces as they please. And they will either receive good or bad reviews by the people outside. People will even wear their collars with aplomb.

I am one who is for public decorum, and so understand both sides. But I'm ultimately not an authority, and can't really care one way or the other what people do. However, at least you might understand why such a rule is thought important.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	cassander42 2007-05-01 10:47 pm UTC (link)
	I've been to one furry con, Anthrocon '05, which is what I'm basing this on. My post about the con has more information about the incidents I'm alluding too. Yeah, people did wear some ears and tails outside, but others hated them for it. (Reply to this) (Parent)

zannechaos
2007-04-29 05:21 pm UTC (link)

Welcome to the comm. Interesting post.

This was at a time when I wasn't on the internet yet and had never heard of furries, otherkin, or people who thought they were dragons. But when I read the description, it sounded like me.

Likewise. Of course, I was on the internet, but hadn't come across otherkin, nor did I have any notion that anyone else shared the same feelings I did. I knew about furries, but nothing past being boggled as hell by the furry-hate, because to me, well... I can name a few people who became millionaires being "furries", as far as I knew -- drawing anthromorphic animals. Walt Disney, anyone?

I always pictured dragons as having big piles of coins.

You know why? Not because they're worth something. But because they are shiny things. That's all it is, quite honestly. I like money as much as the next person - it pays the bills and lets me add to my true hoard -- my books, my collections, my figures, all kind of things that make me perk and press my "OOOO SHINY" button. (and that button gets pushed whether or not the object in question is actually shiny.)

^_^ Thanks for sharing.

http://community.livejournal.com/the_dragons/2004/09/24/

That's my post on the topic. Pleased to meet you. I'm a Blue. This isn't an attack on you or an implication that you're wrong, but I neither believe in nor subscribe to D&D definitions of anything, since while some of their information (about any color) felt correct, their descriptions of personalities and blind allegiance to alignment was BS. So you're evil if you're born the right color for it? Or automatically noble and good? Sounds pretty damn racist to me.

Ah, but I digress.

The post I made didn't talk much about how I came to the conclusion I'm a Blue, if I recall. That was just as difficult and carefully weighed as coming to the realization I'm dragonkin. I didn't follow any guidebook, and D&D was just a loose direction. Some of their information's right, some of it just rings completely false. By and large, most of the breath weapons are mostly correct (Silvers and Whites, for example, right concept, wrong execution of it.) and the lifelong, powerful affinity and control I've always with thunderstorms and lightning was one of the factors.

I'm afraid we won't see eye to eye on religion and faith, as I'm a Christian, and a Green Witch, but I honestly prefer the term Küchehexe, which is German for kitchen witch, and nods toward my own heritage. (a post I made elsewhere on the topic)

The Otherkin community is just as richly diverse as any other, with people from all walks and faiths and background. I hope you'll enjoy your time here.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

cassander42
2007-04-30 12:33 am UTC (link)

Welcome to the comm. Interesting post.

Thank you.

Likewise. Of course, I was on the internet, but hadn't come across otherkin, nor did I have any notion that anyone else shared the same feelings I did. I knew about furries, but nothing past being boggled as hell by the furry-hate, because to me, well... I can name a few people who became millionaires being "furries", as far as I knew -- drawing anthromorphic animals. Walt Disney, anyone?

I was going to acknowledge that it is well known that a lot of otherkin feel they are otherkin before they have ever heard of otherkin, but apparently I didn't quite get that line into my post. Only so much editing I can stand before posting ;-)

You know why? Not because they're worth something. But because they are shiny things. That's all it is, quite honestly. I like money as much as the next person - it pays the bills and lets me add to my true hoard -- my books, my collections, my figures, all kind of things that make me perk and press my "OOOO SHINY" button. (and that button gets pushed whether or not the object in question is actually shiny.)

That's a good theory, thanks. I'm not really too into the whole "shiny" thing myself, but that is definitely understandable. Dice do hit my "collect" button, though. But what about dull coins? ;-)

http://community.livejournal.com/the_dragons/2004/09/24/

Thanks for the link. Quite interesting. I've noticed a kind of link between felines and dragons, how we have some of the same traits, so it's interesting that you first hit on tiger. But I know others have observed this cat-dragon connection before. Also, is there a math thing with dragons? I'm starting to notice dragons mind math less than others.

That's my post on the topic. Pleased to meet you. I'm a Blue. This isn't an attack on you or an implication that you're wrong, but I neither believe in nor subscribe to D&D definitions of anything, since while some of their information (about any color) felt correct, their descriptions of personalities and blind allegiance to alignment was BS. So you're evil if you're born the right color for it? Or automatically noble and good? Sounds pretty damn racist to me.

Oh, I don't at all subscribe to the D&D definitions either. It was just a starting point, that's all. The D&D definitions serve me fine for D&D, but I don't ever assume that a dragon with colored scales is evil outside of the context of D&D :-) It's a fun game, but it doesn't really impact anything more than that. Your adoption of the blue reminds me of the electrum... take the parts that fit and forget the rest.

I'm afraid we won't see eye to eye on religion and faith, as I'm a Christian, and a Green Witch, but I honestly prefer the term Küchehexe, which is German for kitchen witch, and nods toward my own heritage. (a post I made elsewhere on the topic)

In your profile, you mention that religion is a private matter, so it doesn't sound like you're the type to try to force your religious beliefs on others. So I don't think that's a problem. I know that people believe a lot of things that I think are silly or stupid, but they would also consider the same of me. I believe fiercely in religious freedom and think people should do what feels right to them. I believe in truth and being who you are, and if that involves religion for some people, so be it.

As an aside, back when I was Christian, I was interested in Quakers for their pacifism and non-hierarchical structure. I flirted with the idea of learning more about them and becoming one back then. I later flirted with nature-worship and wicca before discarding religion entirely. The lack of religion comforted me the most since it felt the most true, and I try to keep to truth. I don't particularly like the answers I find here, but everything else feels delusional and false to me. But others should find their own truth.

The Otherkin community is just as richly diverse as any other, with people from all walks and faiths and background. I hope you'll enjoy your time here.

Thank you.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	andalusi 2007-05-11 08:00 am UTC (link)
	So you're evil if you're born the right color for it? Or automatically noble and good? Sounds pretty damn racist to me. This is a joke, right? (Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	zannechaos 2007-05-11 03:13 pm UTC (link)
	I was saying why I thought D&D's idea of alignment for dragons was thoroughly stupid. (Reply to this) (Parent)

Welcome

dearc
2007-04-29 07:26 pm UTC (link)

Welcome to the community as well. Always good to see others finding themselves, or more so, coming to grips with who and what they really are. It takes a strong will sometimes to find exactly where you want to be in life and society.

My name is Dearc, I am active in both dragonic/wyrmish and furre based communities. My mates are both as well. If you have any questions feel free to ask.

Again, welcome ^.^

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: Welcome cassander42 2007-04-30 12:36 am UTC (link)
	Thank you. My wife is also an otherkin feline, though we did not meet in the furry or otherkin communities at all. It's kinda like the way we're both vegetarians but didn't know it before we met and fell in love. (Reply to this) (Parent)

tahoe_sushi
2007-04-29 10:01 pm UTC (link)

Im going to be honest, considering your strict regimen (I perused your LJ and found it to be very full of disdain) that you seem to hold "good" people to, coupled with the idea you seem to have that if a person doesnt agree with the ideal that you prescribe to is some horrible person, you arent likely to find many groups of people that youll like. When you expect everyone to hold the same opinions and motivational passion on controversial topics that you do then of course your not going to find such community because there is going to be some topic by some portion of that group that doesnt agree with what you believe and given your disposition to those you dont agree with, youll end up despising them and alienate yourself from that group.

Go ahead and say that I dont know you and I cant possibly know who you are just from reading your livejournal, yadda yadda yadda. Just calling it as I see it =/

(Reply to this) (Thread)

cassander42
2007-04-30 12:48 am UTC (link)

I applaud you for your honesty. Not a traditional welcome post certainly, but I like things that are different.

As for knowing me from my live journal, well, obviously you can learn somethings from it, since it's stuff I've posted. But keep in mind that I haven't posted very often... I went over a year recently without posting. When I've posted, it's often been out of anger, so with some posts, you are seeing me at my most fiery. You don't see me being friendly to people who believe different things than me cause I just didn't talk about it. Given my beliefs, if I didn't make friends with those who do things I consider completely morally reprehensible and unconscionable, I wouldn't have very many friends at all. And really, I don't have too many, which I guess is kind of you point, but most of those I do have are not, for example, vegetarians. So as long as someone doesn't lash out at me for being an otherkin or vegetarian or what not, I have no problems getting along. Sure, I'd love for everyone to be veg, but it ain't gonna happen by yelling at them, so no point in that. But sometimes I have to let out my feelings, especially when I get angry, and my journal has been one of those places. A place where I speak to the world, even though the world isn't really listening. Also, I change as time goes by so the words you see from the past will not be 100% indicative of the present.

So yeah, you know some of me, but not everything, and I hope that you will be able to see more before making a final decision. But again, thank you for your honesty. I like that, even when it's blunt.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

I give you belated greetings!

albus_draconis
2007-07-17 08:22 pm UTC (link)

You have been here longer than I, but hello anyway! I like the thoughtfulness of your posts and comments. Went back and peeked at your journal before posting here in order to gain a kind of baseline, and I have to say you may be as opinionated as myself- this is not a bad thing.

Read your 'draconity' post- and I believe that whatever the source of your inspiration is your business, and no-one else's. Who sez the nits out there MUST agree with you?

Like you, I spent most of my time wondering why I didn't "fit in". I've ALWAYS felt different, an alien in a strange land. No-one I spoke to about it seemed to understand- and I knew enough already not to reveal just HOW alien I felt. I've considered myself to be a dragon, or at least strongly connected to them, for over twenty years.

Getting through life with the urge to literally stretch one's wings is a weird experience, believe me. Walking on my toes seems natural- as if I had digitigrade legs (to get anywhere fast, I'm on my toes, and I lope kind of like a velociraptor). My hearing and night-vision are acute, as is my sense of smell. I move in odd ways- fluid, like a predator, rarely like a human. I've been looked at oddly for this- they were trying to peg just what it was the gave them a weird feeling. Ah, maybe they just pegged me as 'freak' and ignored me thereafter, which is fine by me. A high wind would come up; I'd want to spread my arms/wings, and fly off. Escapism? Perhaps, but it's what I felt, and to me (like you) it was REAL, and no nasty, spiteful, mystery-breaking rant anyone could say to counter it with would change my mind.

But I learned to hide it, after awhile, when it seemed no-one would associate with me because of it. Yeah, the Muggles (love that term- thanks, J.K Rowling!)sometimes suck- but they're what we have to live with, in so much as we choose to be connected to them at all. I consider you lucky, sir- you've found a mate ho can at least come some way toward understanding your 'otherness', without criticism. I have yet to be so blessed, though I do have one human friend who I cherish for his open-mindedness about my nature (I think he might be 'other', too- he's very gorilla like).

As for your vegetarianism- kudos to you! I tried to be veg for over three years before my natural carnivore self rebelled and I had to go back to meat. I do, and I've been known to weep over the treatment of chickens and pigs.

But meat is already expensive, and if I were to insist upon only flesh killed in a humane manner, I'd never eat meat at all for the cost. It is unfortunate that my metabolism seems to require a heavy-intake of proteins- the less processed, the better (IE; raw), because I'd prefer, by morality, to be vegetarian. I'd gained twenty pounds on a veg diet (and I was still hungry most of the time)- went back to meat and that weight was soon gone (and I no longer feel like I'm starving).

So, you understood from an early age that you were "different", fine. So you found the thing that seemed to "match" you, fine. So it came from a gaming-book- BIG DEAL! If folks cannot accept your personal view of yourself, that's THEIR problem, and not yours. You don't need to take on their crap- ignore it, or leave it behind somehow (though I'm sure with an ego as strong as yours, you've pretty much already done this).

I hope you'll post more often- I enjoy reading them.

Dreams keep us flying- Albus >:~

(Reply to this)

	oops... albus_draconis 2007-07-17 08:27 pm UTC (link)
	Made a typo- hate those things, thought I'd gotten them all... The line was supposed to read; (you've found a mate WHO can at least come some way toward understanding your 'otherness' without criticism..." Forgive my unfortunate mistake (bows). Hello again! Dreams keep us flying- Albus >:~ (Reply to this)

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