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we are all here in praise of me!
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| Title: existence |
[13 Sep 2005|03:41pm] |
Written by: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) coolndarklyeeri
Main Character: Gerard.
Rating: PG
Summary: By the last song I had this mix of satisfaction and heartbreak that I found impossible to define, even to myself. It was over, but I also had the experience. I could say that this is what I’ve done, and I appreciated it. But it was ending, and this will be a past-tense thing I’ll speak of. There is no future, the past is gone, and the present is impossible to measure.
A/N: This is absolutely the very first MCR fic I've ever written. It started off on my personal journal and that entry still exists. This short piece has a lot of sentimental value for me because it was the first thing that dolphingoddess ever read by me, and therefore became the event that would lead to my other writings. When I was about to give up on writing completely and consider it a lost cause, my friend read this and ripped me away from that sinking ship. There is no slash or pairing at all, and it doesn't even have bad language, the the PG rating is still in effect because there's still a dab of adult subject matter - though it's incredibly vague.
( Seeing him, only mere feet in front of me, he was fascinating, hypnotic, human, flawed... perfection )
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| Title: after the show, prt 4 |
[17 Jul 2005|10:18pm] |
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Bert/Gerard
Rating: Hard R for language and some violence and drug use
Summary: Finishing a show that was performed along side of The Used, even after Gerard had ended his friendship with Bert McCracken, he finds himself alone with Bert after everyone had left and the strangeness that ensues during. Gerard describes his account that night in explicit detail.
POV: Believe it or not, it's in third.
A/N: This is actually the first MCR slash I've ever written. It was first written around the time the rumors about Bert and Gerard no longer being friends first started to surface. I make no claims to the accuracy of anything in this story, and I completely understand if it's not that impressive. But the story came to me one night and didn't leave my head. It was never posted to a community of any kind and was originally housed on a website that's no longer active, so it's been archived here, which explains the complete lack of comments. But if you read, let me know what you think, even if it's concrit.
part one | part two | part three
( part four: ‘I’m not leaving till I have something to remember you by.’ )
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| Title: after the show, prt 3 |
[17 Jul 2005|10:11pm] |
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Bert/Gerard
Rating: Hard R for language and some violence and drug use
Summary: Finishing a show that was performed along side of The Used, even after Gerard had ended his friendship with Bert McCracken, he finds himself alone with Bert after everyone had left and the strangeness that ensues during. Gerard describes his account that night in explicit detail.
POV: Believe it or not, it's in third.
A/N: This is actually the first MCR slash I've ever written. It was first written around the time the rumors about Bert and Gerard no longer being friends first started to surface. I make no claims to the accuracy of anything in this story, and I completely understand if it's not that impressive. But the story came to me one night and didn't leave my head. It was never posted to a community of any kind and was originally housed on a website that's no longer active, so it's been archived here, which explains the complete lack of comments. But if you read, let me know what you think, even if it's concrit.
part one | part two
( part three: ‘You know what, Bert? You need to grow the fuck up, already! It’s over! Find someone else to piss your life away with!’ )
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| Title: after the show, prt 2 |
[17 Jul 2005|10:06pm] |
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Bert/Gerard
Rating: Hard R for language and some violence and drug use
Summary: Finishing a show that was performed along side of The Used, even after Gerard had ended his friendship with Bert McCracken, he finds himself alone with Bert after everyone had left and the strangeness that ensues during. Gerard describes his account that night in explicit detail.
POV: Believe it or not, it's in third.
A/N: This is actually the first MCR slash I've ever written. It was first written around the time the rumors about Bert and Gerard no longer being friends first started to surface. I make no claims to the accuracy of anything in this story, and I completely understand if it's not that impressive. But the story came to me one night and didn't leave my head. It was never posted to a community of any kind and was originally housed on a website that's no longer active, so it's been archived here, which explains the complete lack of comments. But if you read, let me know what you think, even if it's concrit.
part one
( part two: You can’t expect the entire world to stop living just because you want to )
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| Title: after the show, prt 1 |
[17 Jul 2005|09:47pm] |
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Bert/Gerard
Rating: Hard R for language and some violence and drug use
Summary: Finishing a show that was performed along side of The Used, even after Gerard had ended his friendship with Bert McCracken, he finds himself alone with Bert after everyone had left and the strangeness that ensues during. Gerard describes his account that night in explicit detail.
POV: Believe it or not, it's in third.
A/N: This is actually the first MCR slash I've ever written. It was first written around the time the rumors about Bert and Gerard no longer being friends first started to surface. I make no claims to the accuracy of anything in this story, and I completely understand if it's not that impressive. But the story came to me one night and didn't leave my head. It was never posted to a community of any kind and was originally housed on a website that's no longer active, so it's been archived here, which explains the complete lack of comments. But if you read, let me know what you think, even if it's concrit.
*Archived at cerebralpausing
( part one: I’m telling you ever since you stopped drinking you’ve had like... zero sense of humor.’ )
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| codependency - chpt 30 (the end) |
[05 Feb 2007|06:33pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
annie lennox - a thousand beautiful things |
] |
Title: Codependency
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Ray/Gerard, Gerard/Bob
Rating: NC-17 for strong language, violence, rape, and strong sexual content
Summary: Gerard is a young inmate sent to prison over a horrible mistake he has to live down the rest of his life. When he becomes a target, he seeks out the most dangerous prisoner to be his protection...but for a price, leaving the question of: how do you protect yourself from the one who's supposed to be protecting you?
Disclaimer: This only happened in the dark recesses of my imagination.
A/N: This story will contain graphic scenes of a violent and/or sexual nature that may be disturbing to some readers. So consider yourselves warned. I have taken great pains to provide as accurate a depiction of prison that I can with research and talking to the right people. This fic was not undergone frivolously. I also want to state for the record that this is not a reflection of how I feel about Ray. I think Ray is probably the sweetest, gentlest guy in the world. But like many, I have my dark fantasies, too. And, unlike some, I do not take rape lightly.
Dedications: dolphingoddess my baby. venus_moon, my Romy and flying monkey ♥, and chemical_stripe for the info. And of course the poll winners: batboy, pieces_mendedxx, and simeonrun.
*archived at cerebralpausing
All chapters
( Chapter thirty - I thank you for the air to breathe, the heart to beat, the eyes to see again )
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| codependency - chpt 29 |
[04 Feb 2007|07:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
deftones - hole in the earth |
] |
Title: Codependency
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Ray/Gerard, Gerard/Bob
Rating: NC-17 for strong language, violence, rape, and strong sexual content
Summary: Gerard is a young inmate sent to prison over a horrible mistake he has to live down the rest of his life. When he becomes a target, he seeks out the most dangerous prisoner to be his protection...but for a price, leaving the question of: how do you protect yourself from the one who's supposed to be protecting you?
Disclaimer: This only happened in the dark recesses of my imagination.
A/N: This story will contain graphic scenes of a violent and/or sexual nature that may be disturbing to some readers. So consider yourselves warned. I have taken great pains to provide as accurate a depiction of prison that I can with research and talking to the right people. This fic was not undergone frivolously. I also want to state for the record that this is not a reflection of how I feel about Ray. I think Ray is probably the sweetest, gentlest guy in the world. But like many, I have my dark fantasies, too. And, unlike some, I do not take rape lightly.
Dedications: dolphingoddess my baby. venus_moon, my Romy and flying monkey ♥, and chemical_stripe for the info. And of course the poll winners: batboy, pieces_mendedxx, and simeonrun.
*archived at cerebralpausing
Updates will be nightly, 8 p.m., US EST.
All chapters
( Chapter twenty-nine - Hey, all of my friends they all attack sometimes )
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| codependency - chpt 28 |
[03 Feb 2007|07:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
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disturbed - numb |
] |
Title: Codependency
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Ray/Gerard, Gerard/Bob
Rating: NC-17 for strong language, violence, rape, and strong sexual content
Summary: Gerard is a young inmate sent to prison over a horrible mistake he has to live down the rest of his life. When he becomes a target, he seeks out the most dangerous prisoner to be his protection...but for a price, leaving the question of: how do you protect yourself from the one who's supposed to be protecting you?
Disclaimer: This only happened in the dark recesses of my imagination.
A/N: This story will contain graphic scenes of a violent and/or sexual nature that may be disturbing to some readers. So consider yourselves warned. I have taken great pains to provide as accurate a depiction of prison that I can with research and talking to the right people. This fic was not undergone frivolously. I also want to state for the record that this is not a reflection of how I feel about Ray. I think Ray is probably the sweetest, gentlest guy in the world. But like many, I have my dark fantasies, too. And, unlike some, I do not take rape lightly.
Dedications: dolphingoddess my baby. venus_moon, my Romy and flying monkey ♥, and chemical_stripe for the info. And of course the poll winners: batboy, pieces_mendedxx, and simeonrun.
*archived at cerebralpausing
Updates will be nightly, 8 p.m., US EST.
All chapters
( Chapter twenty-eight - Crawling now I’m beaten down, I'm tortured now, and I’m feeling nothing )
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| codependency - chpt 27, prt 2 |
[02 Feb 2007|07:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Evanescence - Snow White Queen |
] |
Title: Codependency
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Ray/Gerard, Gerard/Bob
Rating: NC-17 for strong language, violence, rape, and strong sexual content
Summary: Gerard is a young inmate sent to prison over a horrible mistake he has to live down the rest of his life. When he becomes a target, he seeks out the most dangerous prisoner to be his protection...but for a price, leaving the question of: how do you protect yourself from the one who's supposed to be protecting you?
Disclaimer: This only happened in the dark recesses of my imagination.
A/N: This story will contain graphic scenes of a violent and/or sexual nature that may be disturbing to some readers. So consider yourselves warned. I have taken great pains to provide as accurate a depiction of prison that I can with research and talking to the right people. This fic was not undergone frivolously. I also want to state for the record that this is not a reflection of how I feel about Ray. I think Ray is probably the sweetest, gentlest guy in the world. But like many, I have my dark fantasies, too. And, unlike some, I do not take rape lightly.
Dedications: dolphingoddess my baby. venus_moon, my Romy and flying monkey ♥, and chemical_stripe for the info. And of course the poll winners: batboy, pieces_mendedxx, and simeonrun.
*archived at cerebralpausing
Updates will be nightly, 8 p.m., US EST.
All chapters
( Chapter twenty-seven, prt 2 - You’ll never know the way your words have haunted me )
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| codependency - chpt 27, prt 1 |
[01 Feb 2007|07:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Evanescence - Snow White Queen |
] |
Title: Codependency
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Ray/Gerard, Gerard/Bob
Rating: NC-17 for strong language, violence, rape, and strong sexual content
Summary: Gerard is a young inmate sent to prison over a horrible mistake he has to live down the rest of his life. When he becomes a target, he seeks out the most dangerous prisoner to be his protection...but for a price, leaving the question of: how do you protect yourself from the one who's supposed to be protecting you?
Disclaimer: This only happened in the dark recesses of my imagination.
A/N: This story will contain graphic scenes of a violent and/or sexual nature that may be disturbing to some readers. So consider yourselves warned. I have taken great pains to provide as accurate a depiction of prison that I can with research and talking to the right people. This fic was not undergone frivolously. I also want to state for the record that this is not a reflection of how I feel about Ray. I think Ray is probably the sweetest, gentlest guy in the world. But like many, I have my dark fantasies, too. And, unlike some, I do not take rape lightly.
Dedications: dolphingoddess my baby. venus_moon, my Romy and flying monkey ♥, and chemical_stripe for the info. And of course the poll winners: batboy, pieces_mendedxx, and simeonrun.
*archived at cerebralpausing
Updates will be nightly, 8 p.m., US EST.
All chapters
( Chapter twenty-seven, prt 1 - I’m losing my mind and you just stand there and stare as my world divides )
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| codependency - chpt 26 |
[31 Jan 2007|07:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
depeche mode - to have and to hold |
] |
Title: Codependency
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Ray/Gerard, Gerard/Bob
Rating: NC-17 for strong language, violence, rape, and strong sexual content
Summary: Gerard is a young inmate sent to prison over a horrible mistake he has to live down the rest of his life. When he becomes a target, he seeks out the most dangerous prisoner to be his protection...but for a price, leaving the question of: how do you protect yourself from the one who's supposed to be protecting you?
Disclaimer: This only happened in the dark recesses of my imagination.
A/N: This story will contain graphic scenes of a violent and/or sexual nature that may be disturbing to some readers. So consider yourselves warned. I have taken great pains to provide as accurate a depiction of prison that I can with research and talking to the right people. This fic was not undergone frivolously. I also want to state for the record that this is not a reflection of how I feel about Ray. I think Ray is probably the sweetest, gentlest guy in the world. But like many, I have my dark fantasies, too. And, unlike some, I do not take rape lightly.
Dedications: dolphingoddess my baby. venus_moon, my Romy and flying monkey ♥, and chemical_stripe for the info. And of course the poll winners: batboy, pieces_mendedxx, and simeonrun.
*archived at cerebralpausing
Updates will be nightly, 8 p.m., US EST.
All chapters
( Chapter twenty-six - I feel diseased, I’m down on my knees, and I need forgiveness )
|
|
| codependency - chpt 25 |
[30 Jan 2007|07:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
My Chemical Romance - Sleep |
] |
Title: Codependency
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Ray/Gerard, Gerard/Bob
Rating: NC-17 for strong language, violence, rape, and strong sexual content
Summary: Gerard is a young inmate sent to prison over a horrible mistake he has to live down the rest of his life. When he becomes a target, he seeks out the most dangerous prisoner to be his protection...but for a price, leaving the question of: how do you protect yourself from the one who's supposed to be protecting you?
Disclaimer: This only happened in the dark recesses of my imagination.
A/N: This story will contain graphic scenes of a violent and/or sexual nature that may be disturbing to some readers. So consider yourselves warned. I have taken great pains to provide as accurate a depiction of prison that I can with research and talking to the right people. This fic was not undergone frivolously. I also want to state for the record that this is not a reflection of how I feel about Ray. I think Ray is probably the sweetest, gentlest guy in the world. But like many, I have my dark fantasies, too. And, unlike some, I do not take rape lightly.
Dedications: dolphingoddess my baby. venus_moon, my Romy and flying monkey ♥, and chemical_stripe for the info. And of course the poll winners: batboy, pieces_mendedxx, and simeonrun.
*archived at cerebralpausing
Updates will be nightly, 8 p.m., US EST.
All chapters
( Chapter twenty-five - A drink for the horror that I’m in, for the good guys and the bad guys, for the monsters that I’ve been )
|
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| codependency - chpt 24 |
[29 Jan 2007|07:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Staind - so far away |
] |
Title: Codependency
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Ray/Gerard, Gerard/Bob
Rating: NC-17 for strong language, violence, rape, and strong sexual content
Summary: Gerard is a young inmate sent to prison over a horrible mistake he has to live down the rest of his life. When he becomes a target, he seeks out the most dangerous prisoner to be his protection...but for a price, leaving the question of: how do you protect yourself from the one who's supposed to be protecting you?
Disclaimer: This only happened in the dark recesses of my imagination.
A/N: This story will contain graphic scenes of a violent and/or sexual nature that may be disturbing to some readers. So consider yourselves warned. I have taken great pains to provide as accurate a depiction of prison that I can with research and talking to the right people. This fic was not undergone frivolously. I also want to state for the record that this is not a reflection of how I feel about Ray. I think Ray is probably the sweetest, gentlest guy in the world. But like many, I have my dark fantasies, too. And, unlike some, I do not take rape lightly.
Dedications: dolphingoddess my baby. venus_moon, my Romy and flying monkey ♥, and chemical_stripe for the info. And of course the poll winners: batboy, pieces_mendedxx, and simeonrun.
*archived at cerebralpausing
Updates will be nightly, 8 p.m., US EST.
All chapters
( Chapter twenty-four - All in the mistakes one life contained, they all finally start to go away )
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| codependency - chpt 23 |
[28 Jan 2007|07:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Tool - Schism |
] |
Title: Codependency
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Ray/Gerard, Gerard/Bob
Rating: NC-17 for strong language, violence, rape, and strong sexual content
Summary: Gerard is a young inmate sent to prison over a horrible mistake he has to live down the rest of his life. When he becomes a target, he seeks out the most dangerous prisoner to be his protection...but for a price, leaving the question of: how do you protect yourself from the one who's supposed to be protecting you?
Disclaimer: This only happened in the dark recesses of my imagination.
A/N: This story will contain graphic scenes of a violent and/or sexual nature that may be disturbing to some readers. So consider yourselves warned. I have taken great pains to provide as accurate a depiction of prison that I can with research and talking to the right people. This fic was not undergone frivolously. I also want to state for the record that this is not a reflection of how I feel about Ray. I think Ray is probably the sweetest, gentlest guy in the world. But like many, I have my dark fantasies, too. And, unlike some, I do not take rape lightly.
Dedications: dolphingoddess my baby. venus_moon, my Romy and flying monkey ♥, and chemical_stripe for the info. And of course the poll winners: batboy, pieces_mendedxx, and simeonrun.
*archived at cerebralpausing
Updates will be nightly, 8 p.m., US EST.
All chapters
( Chapter twenty-three - The light that fueled a fire has burned a hole between us )
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| codependency - chpt 22, prt 2 |
[27 Jan 2007|07:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Tool - Undertow |
] |
Title: Codependency
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Ray/Gerard, Gerard/Bob
Rating: NC-17 for strong language, violence, rape, and strong sexual content
Summary: Gerard is a young inmate sent to prison over a horrible mistake he has to live down the rest of his life. When he becomes a target, he seeks out the most dangerous prisoner to be his protection...but for a price, leaving the question of: how do you protect yourself from the one who's supposed to be protecting you?
Disclaimer: This only happened in the dark recesses of my imagination.
A/N: This story will contain graphic scenes of a violent and/or sexual nature that may be disturbing to some readers. So consider yourselves warned. I have taken great pains to provide as accurate a depiction of prison that I can with research and talking to the right people. This fic was not undergone frivolously. I also want to state for the record that this is not a reflection of how I feel about Ray. I think Ray is probably the sweetest, gentlest guy in the world. But like many, I have my dark fantasies, too. And, unlike some, I do not take rape lightly.
Dedications: dolphingoddess my baby. venus_moon, my Romy and flying monkey ♥, and chemical_stripe for the info. And of course the poll winners: batboy, pieces_mendedxx, and simeonrun.
*archived at cerebralpausing
Updates will be nightly, 8 p.m., US EST.
All chapters
( Chapter twenty-two, prt 2 - The current’s mouth below me opens up around me. Suggests and beckons all while swallowing )
|
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| codependency - chpt 22, prt 1 |
[26 Jan 2007|07:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tool - undertow |
] |
Title: Codependency
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Ray/Gerard, Gerard/Bob
Rating: NC-17 for strong language, violence, rape, and strong sexual content
Summary: Gerard is a young inmate sent to prison over a horrible mistake he has to live down the rest of his life. When he becomes a target, he seeks out the most dangerous prisoner to be his protection...but for a price, leaving the question of: how do you protect yourself from the one who's supposed to be protecting you?
Disclaimer: This only happened in the dark recesses of my imagination.
A/N: This story will contain graphic scenes of a violent and/or sexual nature that may be disturbing to some readers. So consider yourselves warned. I have taken great pains to provide as accurate a depiction of prison that I can with research and talking to the right people. This fic was not undergone frivolously. I also want to state for the record that this is not a reflection of how I feel about Ray. I think Ray is probably the sweetest, gentlest guy in the world. But like many, I have my dark fantasies, too. And, unlike some, I do not take rape lightly.
Dedications: dolphingoddess my baby. venus_moon, my Romy and flying monkey ♥, and chemical_stripe for the info. And of course the poll winners: batboy, pieces_mendedxx, and simeonrun.
*archived at cerebralpausing
Updates will be nightly, 8 p.m., US EST.
All chapters
( Chapter twenty-two, prt 1 - I’ve been baptized by your voice. It screams from deep beneath the endless water )
|
|
| codependency - chpt 21 |
[25 Jan 2007|07:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nine Inch Nails - The Wretched |
] |
Title: Codependency
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Ray/Gerard, Gerard/Bob
Rating: NC-17 for strong language, violence, rape, and strong sexual content
Summary: Gerard is a young inmate sent to prison over a horrible mistake he has to live down the rest of his life. When he becomes a target, he seeks out the most dangerous prisoner to be his protection...but for a price, leaving the question of: how do you protect yourself from the one who's supposed to be protecting you?
Disclaimer: This only happened in the dark recesses of my imagination.
A/N: This story will contain graphic scenes of a violent and/or sexual nature that may be disturbing to some readers. So consider yourselves warned. I have taken great pains to provide as accurate a depiction of prison that I can with research and talking to the right people. This fic was not undergone frivolously. I also want to state for the record that this is not a reflection of how I feel about Ray. I think Ray is probably the sweetest, gentlest guy in the world. But like many, I have my dark fantasies, too. And, unlike some, I do not take rape lightly.
Dedications: dolphingoddess my baby. venus_moon, my Romy and flying monkey ♥, and chemical_stripe for the info. And of course the poll winners: batboy, pieces_mendedxx, and simeonrun.
*archived at cerebralpausing
Updates will be nightly, 8 p.m., US EST.
All chapters
( Chapter twenty-one - Stuck in this hole with the shit and the piss, and it’s hard to believe it could come down to this back at the beginning )
|
|
| codependency - chpt 20 |
[24 Jan 2007|07:50pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Dresden Dolls - Necessary Evil |
] |
Title: Codependency
Written by: coolndarklyeeri
Pairing: Ray/Gerard, Gerard/Bob
Rating: NC-17 for strong language, violence, rape, and strong sexual content
Summary: Gerard is a young inmate sent to prison over a horrible mistake he has to live down the rest of his life. When he becomes a target, he seeks out the most dangerous prisoner to be his protection...but for a price, leaving the question of: how do you protect yourself from the one who's supposed to be protecting you?
Disclaimer: This only happened in the dark recesses of my imagination.
A/N: This story will contain graphic scenes of a violent and/or sexual nature that may be disturbing to some readers. So consider yourselves warned. I have taken great pains to provide as accurate a depiction of prison that I can with research and talking to the right people. This fic was not undergone frivolously. I also want to state for the record that this is not a reflection of how I feel about Ray. I think Ray is probably the sweetest, gentlest guy in the world. But like many, I have my dark fantasies, too. And, unlike some, I do not take rape lightly.
Dedications: dolphingoddess my baby. venus_moon, my Romy and flying monkey ♥, and chemical_stripe for the info. And of course the poll winners: batboy, pieces_mendedxx, and simeonrun.
*archived at cerebralpausing
Updates will be nightly, 8 p.m., US EST.
All chapters
( Chapter twenty - I remember the golden days when all this was a mystery, and you could write a letter then or, god forbid, come visit me )
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