The ASS Ship
Cos All Other Harry Potter Ships Can Kiss Mine -
Drabble: Must Do Better 

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18th-Jul-2007 05:01 pm
I <3 AS/S by kiefers
Title: Must Do Better
Words: 175
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: AS/S
Summary: Draco isn't pleased with his son.
Warnings: Please don't read if you're DH spoiler averse.



As his father’s grey eyes fixed upon him in a manner that positively radiated ice-cold disapproval, Scorpius Malfoy found himself wishing the ground would open and swallow him up.

“I’m disappointed in you, Scorpius,” said Draco, flourishing a piece of parchment emblazoned with the Hogwarts crest and the words Sixth Year Report. “Doesn’t pay attention in class, fails to do homework, demonstrates a persistent lack of respect for members of staff… Need I go on?”

“Father, I—”

“… complete disregard for school rules, frequently found wandering the grounds at night and…,” Draco’s eyes narrowed, “has, on several occasions, been caught engaging in acts of a sexually inappropriate nature with Albus Potter, in third floor boy’s toilets.

Scorpius blanched. “Father, I can explain everything. You see, despite what it looked like, I was—”

“The third floor boy's toilets, Scorpius? The third floor boy’s toilets! For God’s sake, if you’re going to disgrace the family by dallying with one of Potter’s brats, you can damned well start seducing him in a location more befitting of a Malfoy than that.”

Comments 
18th-Jul-2007 09:34 pm (UTC)
<333333333
18th-Jul-2007 09:40 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked :D
18th-Jul-2007 11:21 pm (UTC)
*SPORFLE*
It's true, you know.
"Why, when -I- was fooling around with Harry Potter I took the time to -search- for a place where nobody could hear our moans or all of the thumping-"
"....D8 D-dad..."
18th-Jul-2007 11:30 pm (UTC)
Ahahahahaha. Oh dear, Scorpius's mortification on hearing about his dad's exploits with Harry will be immense. Though he may be able to comfort himself with the thought that the talk that Albus Severus is receiving from Harry will be just as excrutiating.

Harry: "Now son, I understand the temptations of a pale, aloof, firm-bodied, pouty-mouthed Slytherin... God knows I had Draco enough times... but you got to ask yourself 'what does he really want'?"

Albus Severus: *Incoherently splutters*
18th-Jul-2007 11:41 pm (UTC)
Leading, of course, to Harry and Draco becoming reacquainted! Love it.
19th-Jul-2007 12:02 am (UTC)
Glad you liked :D

Harry and Draco's attempt to present a united front of disapproval at their sons' dalliance could definitely take a turn for the interesting.
19th-Jul-2007 12:18 am (UTC)
The lolz will never end. *tear*
19th-Jul-2007 12:23 am (UTC)
Always delighted to amuse :D
19th-Jul-2007 02:37 am (UTC)
I LOVE your Scorpius. And that Draco is exactly the father he needs.
19th-Jul-2007 10:20 am (UTC)
Thanks :D I definitely agree with you. Draco has much wisdom to impart to young Scorpius.
19th-Jul-2007 02:08 pm (UTC)
Now where, pray tell, is a location more "befitting of a Malfoy" then the 3rd floor boy's toilets?

I love it.
19th-Jul-2007 02:47 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked :D

Now where, pray tell, is a location more "befitting of a Malfoy" then the 3rd floor boy's toilets?

Hehe, don't mind Draco, he's just got pretentions of sophistication.
20th-Jul-2007 03:29 am (UTC)
I love your Draco~ *____*
20th-Jul-2007 12:38 pm (UTC)
Glad you liked :D He's trying desperately to impart his 'wisdom' unto his son.
20th-Jul-2007 04:18 am (UTC)
Between the story and the comments, I cannot stop laughing. LMFAO ♥♥♥♥♥♥
20th-Jul-2007 12:35 pm (UTC)
Am delighted to have entertained :D
21st-Jul-2007 10:17 am (UTC)
OMG! I have such love for you right now. Great work!
21st-Jul-2007 12:25 pm (UTC)
Thank you :D As soon as I read the epilogue ideas for AS/S futurefic started popping into my head.
21st-Jul-2007 12:11 pm (UTC)
Brilliant!
21st-Jul-2007 12:26 pm (UTC)
Thanks :D
22nd-Jul-2007 03:35 pm (UTC)
LOL! XD Awesome.
22nd-Jul-2007 03:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks :D (though I'm sure that poor Scorpius would not say the same)
22nd-Jul-2007 11:09 pm (UTC)
*sniggers* just freakin' fabulous
23rd-Jul-2007 12:31 am (UTC)
Thanks :D Am glad you liked.
22nd-Jul-2007 11:51 pm (UTC)
I can abolutely hear Draco saying that!
23rd-Jul-2007 12:34 am (UTC)
He's frustrated by his son's utter lack of a sense of propriety. He can live with the whole 'getting caught shagging Potter' thing, but 'getting caught shagging Potter in a bad-smelling and common environment' is just not something he's prepared to tolerate from his heir.
23rd-Jul-2007 12:08 am (UTC) - Must Do Better (post dh)
*gigglefit* taht's cute.
23rd-Jul-2007 12:34 am (UTC) - Re: Must Do Better (post dh)
Thank you :D
23rd-Jul-2007 02:04 am (UTC)
Oh god, this is so perfect. Love it!
23rd-Jul-2007 12:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you :D Am glad you liked.
23rd-Jul-2007 02:07 am (UTC)
Hehehe! Well done!!
23rd-Jul-2007 12:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you :D
23rd-Jul-2007 08:02 am (UTC)
Hahaha I love how cowed Scorpius is before his father. The punchline at the end of this is brilliant. ♥ So much awesome in this.
23rd-Jul-2007 12:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you :D Scorpius fears his fathers wrath (for one thing it could mean the cessation of his pocket money). Draco is determined that his son's sexual scandals should be seen to have a bit of class about them.
23rd-Jul-2007 08:24 am (UTC)
ohman, the amount of crack our fandom possesses never ceases to amaze me :D

but this is plain awesome! of course, if when harry and draco get together because of this, we'll have even more awesomeness, since ta-daaa! fake-incest. oh fandom, :X
23rd-Jul-2007 12:43 pm (UTC)
Thank you :D The crack cannot be repressed.

*Pictures Albus and Scorpius's horrified reactions to finding out that they're about to become step-brothers*
23rd-Jul-2007 09:38 am (UTC)
I can't believe how much has already been posted in this community already! And, if judging by this fic, I'm not going to be dissappointed with it!

lol The fic was hilarious! I love Draco's resigned acceptance of Scorpius' relationship! (He's just jealous that he couldn't get Harry all those years ago...)
23rd-Jul-2007 12:47 pm (UTC)
Thanks :D Am always happy to amuse. I'm also delighted that we launched straight into crack shipping the moment the epilogue became public knowledge.

The fic was hilarious! I love Draco's resigned acceptance of Scorpius' relationship!

He knows that forbidding the relationship will only lead to some kind of overly-dramatic Romeo and Juliette style elopement. Besides, he knows that if he tries the whole 'you're just jealous because Harry didn't want to play Hide the Deathstick with you'will start up.
23rd-Jul-2007 11:51 am (UTC)
HAHA! The end cracked me up *g* Draco is soooo cool. Ever the proud Malfoy.
Lovely drabble!
23rd-Jul-2007 12:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you :D Draco just doesn't want the family name to be besmirched by tales of non-tasteful seductions.
23rd-Jul-2007 01:04 pm (UTC)
my first as/s ever and I couldn't ask for a better one.
this was great!

more, please?
24th-Jul-2007 12:01 pm (UTC)
Aww thanks :D
24th-Jul-2007 08:21 am (UTC)
zomg. i actually laughed so hard i think i stopped breathing there for a minute.
crackfic, ever my saviour! XD
awesome!
24th-Jul-2007 12:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks :D All hail crackfic

(The near-aspixiation was definitely not intentional though)
25th-Jul-2007 03:38 pm (UTC)
Ah, "Harry Potter and the Next Generation". Lovely
25th-Jul-2007 04:49 pm (UTC)
Thank you :D
27th-Jul-2007 04:21 am (UTC)
This was really short, but it was also really good. So...I forgive you. :D
30th-Jul-2007 09:52 am (UTC)
Thank you :D Really pleased you enjoyed despite the brevity.
28th-Jul-2007 06:18 am (UTC)
Oh Draco, looking out for upholding the family name til the damn end, eh? ♥

I absolutely love that scorpius is all flaily and EXACTLY like a potter :D

*is so going to sail on this ship*
30th-Jul-2007 09:56 am (UTC)
Oh Draco, looking out for upholding the family name til the damn end, eh? ♥

He does his very best. Alas, Scorpius doesn't seem to be as dedicated to preserving the Malfoy traditions (or at least the traditions that Draco really wishes the Malfoys had).

I absolutely love that scorpius is all flaily and EXACTLY like a potter :D

Hehe, he tries to be calm in a crisis, he really does. But when it comes down to it, the urge to flail nearly always wins through.
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