juli ([info]caladri) wrote in [info]teamalala,
@ 2007-09-27 23:58:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:russia

Poor phonetic transliteration theatre, featuring: PRODUCT ENDORSEMENTS!
Nф я ият оънли аи сеънгл соүс ан евиррединг я ият, мек ит Папричи соүс!


(Post a new comment)


[info]dakegra
2007-09-27 04:28 pm UTC (link)
if you eat only a single sauce on everything you eat, make it Paprichi sauce?


how did I do? My cyrillic is a bit rusty!

(Reply to this)(Thread)
mmmmm, sauce
[info]corivax
2007-09-27 04:58 pm UTC (link)
Okay, so we had just gotten into Ukraine, and we'd stopped at a "Highlander" restaurant, which is the sort of place where all the furniture is made of rough-cut wood, and the walls are hung with deer heads and there are giant wooden figurines of gnomes everywhere and the waitresses wear fake corsets. And the waitress we got spoke a little German and was willing to pantomime, so we ordered french fries and Ukrainian dumplings. She brought us french fries, and [info]caladri put vinegar on them ([info]caladri is secretly british - she'd totally deny that, but the fries give her away, as does her taste in music).

And the waitress comes bolting over, and says, "No no no no! Sauce!" and brings over a bottle of red, ketchup-looking sauce. She's very protective of Ukrainian cuisine - she also scolds us for eating the dumplings wrong. Anyway, so we try a bit of the sauce...

and it's amazing. Like ketchup, but spicy - almost curry, or that sort of silver flavor curry has sometimes that tastes a bit like Maple syrup or Bailey's but not sweet - do you know the one I mean? And there's maybe cardamom in, and it's incredible. Like the apples of eternal life with ambrosia sauce and crushed manna sprinkled on top.

"Aha," says I, "lo, this is excellent, and I will write down what it is so we can find it again." On the label is a great big word, and that word is COYC. Surely I can find COYC again!

I'm sure you can see where this is heading, mister cyrillic. :) But I didn't know any cyrillic yet, and "SAUCE" isn't that helpful for finding it again.

Thus begins... SauceQuest 2007! The rules are simple. [info]caladri and I go into a shop. We buy every bottle of red sauce we see. Then we taste them all. Finally we get a breakthrough. We buy a bottle of what claims to be "american style" ketchup, but it's the worst excuse for ketchup we've ever tasted. It's a little hot. It has curry in. It's delicious enough to eat out of the bottle. So we buy a bottle of what's labeled "greek sauce" from the same manufacturer. It has curry in! And tamarind! It's excellent and silvery! It's not greek at all! These guys are attempting to cut into the HEINZ market and failing miserably.

So, we know to look out for that brand, and to look for a sauce that's supposed to be imitating some other cuisine and failing. And sure enough, we find it: it's "shishkabob sauce". Bizarre, curry shishkabob sauce! The best sauce I've ever had!

We are gonna buy a tub!

(Reply to this)(Parent)

[info]sistawendy
2007-09-27 04:30 pm UTC (link)
"If you eat only one single sauce with everything you eat, make it Paprichi Sauce!"

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]caladri
2007-09-27 04:51 pm UTC (link)
Hrmpf! And here I thought only [info]vixyish would bother, and would further be aghast at my awful. :)

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

[info]vixyish
2007-10-13 04:59 am UTC (link)
*giggle* Sorry I'm late to the party. :)

I'm deeply amused at the sort of accent revealed in what you chose to phoneticize with. There's a certain way that Russians phoneticize everything, that's different. So it took me a bit. :)

(Also: hard signs never go after vowels. Hard and soft signs are only for consonants. For an 'eh' instead of a 'yeh', you write э instead of е.)

*stops being annoying now*

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Create an Account
Forgot your login?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…