Isis ([info]isiscolo) wrote in [info]tart_guide,
@ 2007-11-13 09:45:00
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The Perfect Match
I guess I get to kick this thing off! Sage and China, this is for you. You both worked hard to make DS Match the rockingest thing ever. \o/

The Perfect Match
Anthropomorfic, Angst/Romance, G, 1100 words
Summary: An uncomfortable and dramatic confrontation followed by a happy ending.
Thanks to [info]mergatrude for beta!

It was one of those days. It was always one of those days, thought Angst gloomily. Ever since the break-up. She burrowed deeper into the couch where she had been sprawled all day, doing nothing but thinking depressing thoughts. Maybe she should have stayed in bed. Some days, it just wasn't worth the effort to get up.

The doorbell rang.

"Go away," yelled Angst.

The doorbell rang again.

"I don't want any!"

The doorbell rang again.

"Jesus Christ," muttered Angst, pulling herself to her feet and stomping over to the door. "Can't a genre personification get any quality wallowing time by herself without being interrupted?" She flung open the door.

"Hi there!" chirped Romance. She was carrying a bulging bag over one shoulder, and in her hands was a cheery bouquet of flowers, multicoloured delphiniums and chrysanthemums and asters and baby's-breath.

Angst eyed the bouquet warily. "What's this all about?"

"What do you think? I'm trying to win you back." Romance thrust the bouquet into Angst's hands. "Here, put these in water before they die."

"I like dead flowers," Angst said sullenly, but she got a vase from the kitchen and filled it with water, then put the flowers in it and set them on the table.

"Very nice," said Romance, who had followed her into the room. "They sure brighten this place up."

Angst shrugged, not wanting to admit that Romance was right. Because if she started down that path, she'd have to admit that the mere presence of Romance lifted her mood just as much—even more—than the flowers.

"And here, I've brought you chocolates," said Romance. She pulled a box out of her bag and placed on the table.

"Those disgustingly sweet milk-chocolate covered cherries? I don't know how you stand them."

"Some of them, yeah," said Romance. "But look." She took the lid off the box, and yeah, there were the milk-chocolate covered cherries all right, but between them were dark chocolates, and Romance delicately picked one up and held it out to Angst. Angst tried to take it from her, but Romance shook her head. "Let me," she whispered, as she placed the chocolate between Angst's parted lips.

Mmm. Romance had obviously shelled out for the good stuff: it melted on her tongue, bittersweet chocolate and the sharp tang of ginger, spicy and sweet. She couldn't keep a small moan from escaping.

Of course Romance noticed, and a smug expression crossed her face. "How am I doing so far?"

"What else do you have up your sleeve?" asked Angst suspiciously.

"I thought we could have a candlelight dinner," said Romance, digging into her bag and coming out with two tall pink candles in silver candlesticks. She was just about to light them when Angst reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"Are you crazy?"

"I just thought it would be romantic!"

"Yeah, right," said Angst. "This is my house. What do you think will happen if you light those?"

Romance sighed. "I suppose the curtains will catch fire and your house will burn down, and we'll barely escape with our lives?"

"Right. And possibly one of us will be horribly scarred."

"Okay, have it your way." Romance looked like she was about to cry, which cheered Angst up considerably. "It's just—don't you think it was a mistake to go our separate ways?"

That hit Angst hard, because she'd been thinking that as well. Not that she'd ever admit it to Romance, of course. She shrugged. "It was the right choice," she lied. "We're completely incompatible."

"But you need me!" said Romance, sudden steel in her eye. "Look at this place. You're miserable without me. You're all alone. Nobody wants anything to do with you when I'm not around—it's true, isn't it? Doom, despair, death and destruction. Who wants to read about those?"

"And what do you have to offer?" snapped Angst. "Fluffy bunnies? Oh, that's interesting. Not."

"You're right," said Romance quietly. "I need you too. Without you I'm forgettable, inconsequential. I have no substance. I need you." She took a step closer to Angst, ran a gentle hand down her face, and Angst tried not to lean into the touch. "We need each other."

"Everybody loves Romance." Angst tried not to sound bitter.

"But if the couple gets together on page one, what motivation is there to keep reading? Readers want more than that. They want excitement. They want barriers and obstacles, things to remind them that love is not always easy."

"Readers want a happy ending."

"But not at the beginning."

Angst shook her head. "They don't want break-ups."

"Maybe not," said Romance. She reached up to touch Angst again. "But if they get back together, perhaps all will be forgiven."

Romance was standing so, so close, and Angst inhaled her scent with every breath, fragrant flowers and summer rain, and it was so tempting, so very tempting—

—and then Romance leaned closer, and their lips met. Romance tasted like the chocolate-covered cherries she'd been eating, sweet and almost cloying; her lips were soft and gentle and yielding, and her arms slipped around Angst and held her close.

It would be easy, so easy, to lose herself in that comforting embrace, thought Angst. But she was not going to lose herself. Not this time. Deliberately she stiffened and stepped back.

But Romance did not waver. She looked Angst straight in the eye, saying, "Please? Don't you see? We're lost without each other. But together we're the perfect match."

"Maybe we are. But if we get back together, it's going to be on my terms. After all, you're wooing me. I'm the one who gets to say no."

Romance's face fell. "Are you going to say no?"

Slowly, Angst broke out into a grin. "Hell, no." Then she stepped forward and pulled Romance toward her, taking her mouth fiercely, uncompromisingly. Her hands tightened on Romance's shoulders, and with delight she heard Romance's moan, her surrender to the kiss. She'd missed this so much.

"Absolutely perfect!" came a voice from outside the story. "An uncomfortable and dramatic confrontation followed by a happy ending."

As one, Angst and Romance looked up.

"Listen, Readers. Just because we're getting back together doesn't mean you get to kibitz," said Romance.

"And there's no guarantee things will work out permanently," warned Angst.

Then Angst and Romance looked at each other, and smiled; and as one, they drew a curtain across the end of the story, so the Readers couldn't see what was going to happen next.

But we are pretty sure they lived angstily romantically more or less happily ever after.



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[info]sprat
2007-11-13 11:42 pm UTC (link)
HEEEEEE! ♥♥♥

That was perfect. Angst/Romance OTP 4evah!!

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-16 03:47 pm UTC (link)
Thank you kindly! And, hee, yes, exactly, Angst/Romance OTP!

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[info]nos4a2no9
2007-11-14 05:53 am UTC (link)
This was great! Very clever, funny, and well-observed about the way a lot of our discussions about angst vs. romance (and happy endings vs. breakup stories and deathfic) have played out over at the comm and privately in peoples' journals. Nice work on this, Isis, and I'm sure China and Sage will be very amused.

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-16 03:49 pm UTC (link)
Glad you liked it! I think meta couched as fic goes down a little easier, eh?

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[info]ignazwisdom
2007-11-16 01:37 am UTC (link)
*hits the floor*

WE'RE NOT WORTHY! WE'RE NOT WORTHY!

:D :D

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-16 03:49 pm UTC (link)
*cracks whip*

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[info]simplystars
2007-11-16 04:23 am UTC (link)
Since Nos said all the smart/thinky things, I'll just squee. :D

Hee! Oh, wow, that was awesome! ♥

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-16 03:50 pm UTC (link)
Squee is nice, too. Thank you kindly!

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[info]akamine_chan
2007-11-16 05:36 am UTC (link)
How come Nos always gets to say all the smart/thinky things? Not fair! *pouts*
This was great, isis. Angst and Romance go so well together, they make every story more interesting...too cool!

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-16 03:51 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! I think that most people feel that the ideal story has both angst and romance - it's my OTP!

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[info]dessert_first
2007-11-16 10:40 pm UTC (link)
Hee! Awesome + brilliant x hilarious = this fic. The perfect match, indeed.

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-17 05:31 pm UTC (link)
Whee! Thank you!

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[info]green_grrl
2007-11-17 06:24 pm UTC (link)
Romance sighed. "I suppose the curtains will catch fire and your house will burn down, and we'll barely escape with our lives?"
"Right. And possibly one of us will be horribly scarred."


Ehheh heh heh heh! Oh, dear!

Yes, they are the perfect match!

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-17 08:18 pm UTC (link)
I admit that this exchange was my FAVORITE PART. Thank you kindly!

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[info]china_shop
2007-11-17 08:57 pm UTC (link)
"I like dead flowers," Angst said sullenly, but she got a vase from the kitchen

HEEE!

Romance looked like she was about to cry, which cheered Angst up considerably.

Oh Angst! You are awesome! And heeeee, I love the pink candles, and the excellent reason not to use them.

This is brilliant. I love it! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-17 11:36 pm UTC (link)
Thank YOU for a fabulous event!

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[info]keerawa
2007-11-17 09:29 pm UTC (link)
*laughs* Femslash genre-personification meta! My favorite kind!

You're all alone. Nobody wants anything to do with you when I'm not around—it's true, isn't it? Doom, despair, death and destruction. Who wants to read about those?
Depends on my mood, but in general, yes. And it makes for an interesting challenge when writing darker pieces.

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-17 11:39 pm UTC (link)
Hee, for some reason this just struck me as being femslash. Maybe because our moderators are women, but honest, guys, I wasn't RPFing you!

And for me it's like the old saw about chocolate and peanut butter - two great tastes. Even Shakespeare's tragedies have clowns. And tragic love has to have love to be fully tragic, right?

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[info]sageness
2007-11-17 10:02 pm UTC (link)
Awwwww, YAY!!! This was awesome!! They DO need each other, and now I'm having all kinds of warm, cuddly (sizzling hot) thoughts about what they're doing behind the curtain. *g* Really nicely done, thank you so much! :D

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-17 11:40 pm UTC (link)
Angst/Romance OTP! And thank YOU so much for running a fabulous event.

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[info]lozenger8
2007-11-17 11:55 pm UTC (link)
This is made of win. I love meta-fic.

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-18 07:59 pm UTC (link)
Thank you kindly!

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[info]_divya_
2007-11-18 01:00 am UTC (link)
"Yeah, right," said Angst. "This is my house. What do you think will happen if you light those?"

Romance sighed. "I suppose the curtains will catch fire and your house will burn down, and we'll barely escape with our lives?"

"Right. And possibly one of us will be horribly scarred."


HEE. ♥

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-18 08:00 pm UTC (link)
This is my favorite part!

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[info]shayheyred
2007-11-18 01:12 am UTC (link)
Okay, you ARE a genius. Not that there was ever any doubt.

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-18 08:00 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! Aren't you lucky I'm not an EEEEEVIL genius? (Well, not too evil.)

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[info]zebra363
2007-11-18 01:14 am UTC (link)
Love the bit about the house burning down especially. Very clever!

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-18 08:00 pm UTC (link)
Thank you!

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[info]springwoof
2007-11-18 04:40 am UTC (link)
very clever! both in concept and in dialog...

my favorite lines:
"I thought we could have a candlelight dinner," said Romance, digging into her bag and coming out with two tall pink candles in silver candlesticks. She was just about to light them when Angst reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"Are you crazy?"

"I just thought it would be romantic!"

"Yeah, right," said Angst. "This is my house. What do you think will happen if you light those?"

Romance sighed. "I suppose the curtains will catch fire and your house will burn down, and we'll barely escape with our lives?"

"Right. And possibly one of us will be horribly scarred."


brilliant! heehee

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-18 08:01 pm UTC (link)
Thank you! And those are my favorite lines as well.

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[info]thady
2007-11-18 04:23 pm UTC (link)
Oh, this is brilliant! Very clever.

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-18 08:01 pm UTC (link)
Thank you kindly!

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[info]starfishchick
2007-11-18 06:35 pm UTC (link)
"Absolutely perfect!" came a voice from outside the story. "An uncomfortable and dramatic confrontation followed by a happy ending."


Oh dear. *is transparent in her desires*

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-18 08:01 pm UTC (link)
Hee, that is all of us! Angst/Romance OTP 4EVAH, dude!

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[info]phinnia
2007-11-18 08:45 pm UTC (link)
That is /awesome/. <3

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-20 05:22 pm UTC (link)
Thank you!

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[info]malnpudl
2007-11-18 10:04 pm UTC (link)
HEE! And awwwwww! And YAY! :-D

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-20 05:23 pm UTC (link)
\o/

Angst/Romance OTP!

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[info]mergatrude
2007-11-18 10:22 pm UTC (link)
Yay, you! You already know what I think: this is awesome, and so are you! &hearts &hearts &hearts

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-20 05:23 pm UTC (link)
And you are awesome too, and contributed to this story's awesomeness!

*twirls you*

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[info]ifreet
2007-11-18 10:42 pm UTC (link)
Very clever! I do love an uncomfortable and dramatic confrontation followed by a happy ending.

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-20 05:23 pm UTC (link)
Thank you!

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[info]sivullinen
2007-11-19 02:52 am UTC (link)
Brilliant!

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-20 05:24 pm UTC (link)
Thank you!

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[info]zabira
2007-11-19 05:24 am UTC (link)
fabulous, isis!

i laughed hardest at the end:

But we are pretty sure they lived angstily romantically more or less happily ever after.

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-20 05:24 pm UTC (link)
Well, of COURSE! :-)

I'm happy you liked it.

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[info]luzula
2007-11-19 12:28 pm UTC (link)
Ahaha! That's awesome.

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-20 05:24 pm UTC (link)
Thank you!

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[info]cupidsbow
2007-11-19 01:23 pm UTC (link)
Hahaha! That's adorable!

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[info]isiscolo
2007-11-20 05:25 pm UTC (link)
Yay, I am glad you saw this and liked it - you're one of the few connoisseurs of anthorpomorfic on my flist :-)

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