Monsieur Fail-A-Lot (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} citydusk) wrote in ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} surveys,@ 2008-07-14 23:18:00 |
|
1. How old are you?
Eighteen.
2. Is it harder to be rejected or to reject someone else?
Having done both at the same time recently, I'd say both hurt like a bitch.
3. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Blink 182, Backstreet Boys, Bewitched, S Club 7, Aqua.
4. What is the best thing about your current job?
The fact that I don't have one but I desperately fucking need one.
5. Do you wish cell phone etiquette was a required class?
Ehh. Not really.
6. What's the last thing you drank?
Coke. But I'm making myself a cup of tea now - maybe I'll start icing my tea so I don't drink Coke so often.
7. Have you been on a date in the past week?
No.
8. Where are you going on your next vacation?
Hobart, Tasmania. Whoohoo, Australian Championships.
9. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
No.
10. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
A nice combination of both.
12. Do you like pulpy orange juice?
No. I hate orange juice by itself, period. I prefer orange and mango juice.
13. Did you cry at your high school graduation?
No. I'm not that emotional and tacky.
14. Do you prefer the tanning bed or the sun?
I prefer to stay inside; I'm naturally tanned anyway.
15. What are two of your favorite places to eat?
The Passion Flower, and good old McDonalds/KFC/Red Rooster/other fast food restaurants.
16. What could you tolerate...someone who snores or a sleep walker?
Sleep walker.
17. What's something your friends make fun of you for?
Being so skinny.
18. What's your worst personality flaw?
I have prejudices, and I can be rather judgemental of people.
19. Have you ever gone to therapy?
Yes.
20. Would you ever parachute off of a plane?
For the thrill of "Hi, I'm jumping off a plane, I might just fucking die even though there's realistically a reduced chance of this happening so I should stop with this dramatic hyperbole and just fucking jump already", sure.
21. Have you ever ridden an elephant?
No. I hate elephants.
22. Are you Irish in any way?
Not ethnically. But I'm an Irish dancer - that totally counts for something.
23. Have you ever ridden in a U-Haul?
No.
24. Do you like to play Scrabble?
Yes. A marvellous way of augmenting your everyday vernacular.
25. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
No.
26. Have you ever drank Jack Daniels?
No. But I'd like to try it.
27. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
No, but I'd like to try it. Yes, both the drink and actually fucking on a beach. Worst case scenario, I'd get sand on my legs so I'd just roll over until I'm on top of him and we keep going.
28. What are you saving your money up for right now?
Hobart and the Nationals.
29. What was the last gift card you received?
Something from Krispy Kreme.
30. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Yes.
31. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober person?
No.
SAY THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND!
32. [Beer]
Kegs.
33. [Relationships]
Confusing.
34. [Purple]
Lavender.
35. [Power Rangers]
Pink.
36. [Weed]
Aquarium.
37. [Steroids]
Thyroid.
38. [Cartoons]
Daria.
39. [The President]
Fucked up.
40. [Tupperware]
Plastic.
41. [Florida]
Miami.
42. [Santa]
Shit.
43. [Halloween]
Pumpkins.
44. [Bon Jovi]
Sucks.
45. [Grammar]
Nazi.
46. [Myspace]
Shit.
47. [Worst fear]
Failure.
48. [Marriage]
Vows.
49. [Paris Hilton]
Superficial.
50. [garbage cans/trash. ]
Waste disposal.
51. [Redheads]
Patrick.
52. [Blondes]
Siobhan.
53. [Pass the]
Sugar.
54. [One night stand]
Promiscuity.
55. [Donald Trump]
The Apprentice.
56. [Neverland]
Finding.
57. [Pixie stix]
American.
58. [Hooters]
Breasticles.
59. [High school].
Shit.
60. [Pajamas]
Bed.
61. [Wood]
Erection. [Heh. How lovely of me.]
62. [Wet Socks]
Breaking in new dance shoes.
63. [Computer]
Laptop.
64. [First Love]
Sod off.
65. [Heartbreak]
A bitter epiphany.
* * *
Have you ever seen a couple and it just made you so happy by the way they looked at each other?
No. I'm too much of a misanthrope for that ever to happen.
Love really is a beautiful thing, huh?
No. No it isn't. Fuck off.
Are you closer to your Dad or your pet?
I don't have a pet. And I'm not close with my father - at all. So I don't give a shit.
Has anyone ever forgotten who you were?
Yes.
Have you ever forgotten who you were?
No.
MySpace>Facebook; True or false?
False. MySpace not only doesn't have semantically correct standards-based coding, but the design is shit and amateur, some of the forms take a year and a half to load, and it's trying to leech visual and behind-the-scenes aspects from Facebook and "appropriating" them to suit. Well fuck off Tom, go and die in a fucking fire.
Are you too fat to be picked up?
No. Quite the opposite actually - I'm skinny. HA. Suck on that.
Or perhaps you're a twig?
Yes. :)
Name one person that you miss who has died?
My mother.
Last thing that made you laugh really hard?
When I was out with the girls.
Have you ever heard your grandmother say fuck?
No.
Who are you listening to and why?
The Format - On Your Porch. I like the song, bitch.
Do you need to clean out the cat litter box?
No.
Or perhaps you take your doggy outside to do its business?
No. Fuck off with the pet talk, it's nauseating.
Where are you right now? Do you want to be there?
Study. I'd rather be in my room, but we don't have wireless.
Name some things you need from the store:
Strawberry yoghurt, ibuprofen and a bandage.
Is anything annoying you?
Yes.
Say fuck:
Go and fuck yourself.
Does the trash go out tonight?
No, it goes out on Sunday nights.
Does it annoy you to see white people acting like they're black?
Yes.
Do you think that's racist for me to ask it like that?
No.
Are you going to prom this year?
I didn't go to my Year 12 Formal, but I will be going to the Uni Ball. Hopefully. Unless it clashes with the Nationals.
Oh yeah, I forgot to ask..Are you a girl or a guy?
A guy. Want to see the proof?
So you'll be wearing a tux?
Yes. For the Uni Ball. Not the prom. We don't call it "Prom" here.
Ask me a question:
Why do you write such shitty surveys?
Is there anything good on TV?
No.
Have you seen I Am Legend? With who? What was your favorite part?
No.
Do you think Marilyn Manson is sexy?
No. He's fucking ugly.
What about Josh Hartnett?
No. His face looks like it belongs to an imp and he's NOT FUCKING HOT, people. Stop swooning.
Name everyone you were with last night?
Myself and my right hand.
Did anything dramatic go down yesterday?
No.
Were you in anyone else's car yesterday besides your own?
No.
Do you ever use more than one letter to stress the importance of something when you type(ex. Heeey! Whaaaat?!)
AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL THE FUCKING TIIIIIIIIIMEEEEEE!!! Now sod off.
Do you miss your first love? Be honest:
No.
Who do you feel you're becoming distant with?
My ex-boyfriend. And frankly, I prefer things that way.
Does it scare you to think that you'll never be good enough to get a decent man?
A little, yes. But I'm only eighteen - I have a few decades ahead of me for that. So whatever.
Did you like the American Pie movies?
No.
Are you afraid to stay home all alone?
No.
Isn't it disgusting to see obese ladies wearing skin-tight jeans that push their fat over the top of their pants?
Yes. GOD, people, if you're fucking fat (and you're not pregnant), let me point you in the direction of a fucking department store where the staff are competent enough to guide you in your purchasing pursuits. Skin-tight shit is NOT flattering on you - if anything, it makes you look like you can't choose an outfit to save your life. Please. Do us a favour and die in a fire.
Have you ever fucked someone on a roof?
No, but I'd so try that.
Was this survey good?
No, it was rather shit, actually.
* * *
1. Do you peel your banana from the stem thing or the bottom?
The stem.
2. Does toothpaste foam drip onto your chin when you brush your teeth?
No.
3. When was the last time you asked someone to borrow a pencil?
I can't even fucking remember. Probably during my exam block at uni or some shit.
4. Would you say you have an extended vocabulary?
Yes, I do wield quite a multifarious vernacular. It serves an especially useful role in my attempts to bullshit my way through myriad university assessments, for which I miraculously obtain exemplary marks and feedback. I shall pat myself fondly on the back now. *pats self fondly on back*
5. What book are you reading for English class right now?
None.
6. Do you have fake plants and flowers in your house?
No.
7. Have you ever made a voodoo doll?
No.
8. Have you tried Tab Energy drink?
No.
9. Did anything happen today that made your heart smile?
No.
10. Do you know how to play Checkers?
Yes. Jen and I play it all the time - whenever she's online.
11. Do you know how to play Chinese Checkers?
Yes.
12. Do you read the World Records books?
No.
13. Are you afraid of your laptop exploding?
No. But it's overheating at the moment - it's been on for more than two days straight.
14. Would you say you own up to a cynical characteristic?
Yes.
15. Do you believe, the less social you are, the higher your grades?
No.
16. Do you say the pledge of allegiance or just stand there?
No. We don't have that in Australia, but I don't doubt that if we did, I wouldn't even fucking stand up.
17. How did you find out about Xanga?
I don't have Xanga. It looks shit.
18. Do you make great first impressions?
Generally, no. But it depends on the context.
19. Do you hate how almost all of my questions start with "do you"?
I really don't give a shit.
20. Did you parent order school pictures this year?
No. Universities don't have school pictures.
21. Do you plan on buying a yearbook? Why or why not?
No. We don't have yearbooks at my university.
22. When was the last time your flicked someone off and why?
A few weeks ago.
23. Do you like to eat tuna?
Sure.
24. What do you do when you have trouble sleeping?
Watch porn, read, write, or go online.
25. How do you feel about people eating dogs?
Personally I don't care. It's a part of some minority cultures in Vietnam (my mother land) and China, but I dislike it.
26. Do you stare at people during class?
No, I gaze at them until they get creeped out and move down two rows.
27. Do you like clowns?
I don't give a flying fuck.
28. Have you been to singingfish.com to get mp3s?
No.
29. Name somebody who wears "mom pants"
Your mother.
30. Do you watch That 70s Show?
No. I hate Ashton Kutcher.
Eighteen.
2. Is it harder to be rejected or to reject someone else?
Having done both at the same time recently, I'd say both hurt like a bitch.
3. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school?
Blink 182, Backstreet Boys, Bewitched, S Club 7, Aqua.
4. What is the best thing about your current job?
The fact that I don't have one but I desperately fucking need one.
5. Do you wish cell phone etiquette was a required class?
Ehh. Not really.
6. What's the last thing you drank?
Coke. But I'm making myself a cup of tea now - maybe I'll start icing my tea so I don't drink Coke so often.
7. Have you been on a date in the past week?
No.
8. Where are you going on your next vacation?
Hobart, Tasmania. Whoohoo, Australian Championships.
9. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
No.
10. Are most of the friends in your life new or old?
A nice combination of both.
12. Do you like pulpy orange juice?
No. I hate orange juice by itself, period. I prefer orange and mango juice.
13. Did you cry at your high school graduation?
No. I'm not that emotional and tacky.
14. Do you prefer the tanning bed or the sun?
I prefer to stay inside; I'm naturally tanned anyway.
15. What are two of your favorite places to eat?
The Passion Flower, and good old McDonalds/KFC/Red Rooster/other fast food restaurants.
16. What could you tolerate...someone who snores or a sleep walker?
Sleep walker.
17. What's something your friends make fun of you for?
Being so skinny.
18. What's your worst personality flaw?
I have prejudices, and I can be rather judgemental of people.
19. Have you ever gone to therapy?
Yes.
20. Would you ever parachute off of a plane?
For the thrill of "Hi, I'm jumping off a plane, I might just fucking die even though there's realistically a reduced chance of this happening so I should stop with this dramatic hyperbole and just fucking jump already", sure.
21. Have you ever ridden an elephant?
No. I hate elephants.
22. Are you Irish in any way?
Not ethnically. But I'm an Irish dancer - that totally counts for something.
23. Have you ever ridden in a U-Haul?
No.
24. Do you like to play Scrabble?
Yes. A marvellous way of augmenting your everyday vernacular.
25. Have you ever been to a nude beach?
No.
26. Have you ever drank Jack Daniels?
No. But I'd like to try it.
27. Have you ever had sex on the beach?
No, but I'd like to try it. Yes, both the drink and actually fucking on a beach. Worst case scenario, I'd get sand on my legs so I'd just roll over until I'm on top of him and we keep going.
28. What are you saving your money up for right now?
Hobart and the Nationals.
29. What was the last gift card you received?
Something from Krispy Kreme.
30. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Yes.
31. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober person?
No.
SAY THE FIRST THING THAT COMES TO MIND!
32. [Beer]
Kegs.
33. [Relationships]
Confusing.
34. [Purple]
Lavender.
35. [Power Rangers]
Pink.
36. [Weed]
Aquarium.
37. [Steroids]
Thyroid.
38. [Cartoons]
Daria.
39. [The President]
Fucked up.
40. [Tupperware]
Plastic.
41. [Florida]
Miami.
42. [Santa]
Shit.
43. [Halloween]
Pumpkins.
44. [Bon Jovi]
Sucks.
45. [Grammar]
Nazi.
46. [Myspace]
Shit.
47. [Worst fear]
Failure.
48. [Marriage]
Vows.
49. [Paris Hilton]
Superficial.
50. [garbage cans/trash. ]
Waste disposal.
51. [Redheads]
Patrick.
52. [Blondes]
Siobhan.
53. [Pass the]
Sugar.
54. [One night stand]
Promiscuity.
55. [Donald Trump]
The Apprentice.
56. [Neverland]
Finding.
57. [Pixie stix]
American.
58. [Hooters]
Breasticles.
59. [High school].
Shit.
60. [Pajamas]
Bed.
61. [Wood]
Erection. [Heh. How lovely of me.]
62. [Wet Socks]
Breaking in new dance shoes.
63. [Computer]
Laptop.
64. [First Love]
Sod off.
65. [Heartbreak]
A bitter epiphany.
* * *
Have you ever seen a couple and it just made you so happy by the way they looked at each other?
No. I'm too much of a misanthrope for that ever to happen.
Love really is a beautiful thing, huh?
No. No it isn't. Fuck off.
Are you closer to your Dad or your pet?
I don't have a pet. And I'm not close with my father - at all. So I don't give a shit.
Has anyone ever forgotten who you were?
Yes.
Have you ever forgotten who you were?
No.
MySpace>Facebook; True or false?
False. MySpace not only doesn't have semantically correct standards-based coding, but the design is shit and amateur, some of the forms take a year and a half to load, and it's trying to leech visual and behind-the-scenes aspects from Facebook and "appropriating" them to suit. Well fuck off Tom, go and die in a fucking fire.
Are you too fat to be picked up?
No. Quite the opposite actually - I'm skinny. HA. Suck on that.
Or perhaps you're a twig?
Yes. :)
Name one person that you miss who has died?
My mother.
Last thing that made you laugh really hard?
When I was out with the girls.
Have you ever heard your grandmother say fuck?
No.
Who are you listening to and why?
The Format - On Your Porch. I like the song, bitch.
Do you need to clean out the cat litter box?
No.
Or perhaps you take your doggy outside to do its business?
No. Fuck off with the pet talk, it's nauseating.
Where are you right now? Do you want to be there?
Study. I'd rather be in my room, but we don't have wireless.
Name some things you need from the store:
Strawberry yoghurt, ibuprofen and a bandage.
Is anything annoying you?
Yes.
Say fuck:
Go and fuck yourself.
Does the trash go out tonight?
No, it goes out on Sunday nights.
Does it annoy you to see white people acting like they're black?
Yes.
Do you think that's racist for me to ask it like that?
No.
Are you going to prom this year?
I didn't go to my Year 12 Formal, but I will be going to the Uni Ball. Hopefully. Unless it clashes with the Nationals.
Oh yeah, I forgot to ask..Are you a girl or a guy?
A guy. Want to see the proof?
So you'll be wearing a tux?
Yes. For the Uni Ball. Not the prom. We don't call it "Prom" here.
Ask me a question:
Why do you write such shitty surveys?
Is there anything good on TV?
No.
Have you seen I Am Legend? With who? What was your favorite part?
No.
Do you think Marilyn Manson is sexy?
No. He's fucking ugly.
What about Josh Hartnett?
No. His face looks like it belongs to an imp and he's NOT FUCKING HOT, people. Stop swooning.
Name everyone you were with last night?
Myself and my right hand.
Did anything dramatic go down yesterday?
No.
Were you in anyone else's car yesterday besides your own?
No.
Do you ever use more than one letter to stress the importance of something when you type(ex. Heeey! Whaaaat?!)
AAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL THE FUCKING TIIIIIIIIIMEEEEEE!!! Now sod off.
Do you miss your first love? Be honest:
No.
Who do you feel you're becoming distant with?
My ex-boyfriend. And frankly, I prefer things that way.
Does it scare you to think that you'll never be good enough to get a decent man?
A little, yes. But I'm only eighteen - I have a few decades ahead of me for that. So whatever.
Did you like the American Pie movies?
No.
Are you afraid to stay home all alone?
No.
Isn't it disgusting to see obese ladies wearing skin-tight jeans that push their fat over the top of their pants?
Yes. GOD, people, if you're fucking fat (and you're not pregnant), let me point you in the direction of a fucking department store where the staff are competent enough to guide you in your purchasing pursuits. Skin-tight shit is NOT flattering on you - if anything, it makes you look like you can't choose an outfit to save your life. Please. Do us a favour and die in a fire.
Have you ever fucked someone on a roof?
No, but I'd so try that.
Was this survey good?
No, it was rather shit, actually.
* * *
1. Do you peel your banana from the stem thing or the bottom?
The stem.
2. Does toothpaste foam drip onto your chin when you brush your teeth?
No.
3. When was the last time you asked someone to borrow a pencil?
I can't even fucking remember. Probably during my exam block at uni or some shit.
4. Would you say you have an extended vocabulary?
Yes, I do wield quite a multifarious vernacular. It serves an especially useful role in my attempts to bullshit my way through myriad university assessments, for which I miraculously obtain exemplary marks and feedback. I shall pat myself fondly on the back now. *pats self fondly on back*
5. What book are you reading for English class right now?
None.
6. Do you have fake plants and flowers in your house?
No.
7. Have you ever made a voodoo doll?
No.
8. Have you tried Tab Energy drink?
No.
9. Did anything happen today that made your heart smile?
No.
10. Do you know how to play Checkers?
Yes. Jen and I play it all the time - whenever she's online.
11. Do you know how to play Chinese Checkers?
Yes.
12. Do you read the World Records books?
No.
13. Are you afraid of your laptop exploding?
No. But it's overheating at the moment - it's been on for more than two days straight.
14. Would you say you own up to a cynical characteristic?
Yes.
15. Do you believe, the less social you are, the higher your grades?
No.
16. Do you say the pledge of allegiance or just stand there?
No. We don't have that in Australia, but I don't doubt that if we did, I wouldn't even fucking stand up.
17. How did you find out about Xanga?
I don't have Xanga. It looks shit.
18. Do you make great first impressions?
Generally, no. But it depends on the context.
19. Do you hate how almost all of my questions start with "do you"?
I really don't give a shit.
20. Did you parent order school pictures this year?
No. Universities don't have school pictures.
21. Do you plan on buying a yearbook? Why or why not?
No. We don't have yearbooks at my university.
22. When was the last time your flicked someone off and why?
A few weeks ago.
23. Do you like to eat tuna?
Sure.
24. What do you do when you have trouble sleeping?
Watch porn, read, write, or go online.
25. How do you feel about people eating dogs?
Personally I don't care. It's a part of some minority cultures in Vietnam (my mother land) and China, but I dislike it.
26. Do you stare at people during class?
No, I gaze at them until they get creeped out and move down two rows.
27. Do you like clowns?
I don't give a flying fuck.
28. Have you been to singingfish.com to get mp3s?
No.
29. Name somebody who wears "mom pants"
Your mother.
30. Do you watch That 70s Show?
No. I hate Ashton Kutcher.
