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I went to sleep with a feeling of impending doom, like something was terribly wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it.  Maybe that's what woke me up, too.

I'm trying to remember my dreams.  Yesterday was weird.  I dreamt that I was rejected by all of Chex's old friends from high school and I was completely alone and I felt really helpless.  When I woke up, everything was tinted neon green.  It was weird.  I think my dream last night had to do with Sam in some way.  He was being nice or something.  I don't remember to whom or why, though.  Something about a Jiffy Lube...uhmmm...it's kind of coming back now.  Something with Brenda.  Man this is frustrating...Oh well...blah.  Usually if I close my eyes for a couple minutes, it comes back, but I don't feel patient enough.

Kathy Griffin:  Straight to Hell was hilarious.  It ended with the best line ever.  Barbara Walters:  "I prefer Astroglide."  I'll leave it at that.  Ohhh my gawddd.  I think it was Kathy Griffin that was talking about how Oprah and Tyra sometimes have ghetto moments and I was wondering if Barack ever has ghetto moments or if he's too like...honkinated for ghetto moments.

My tummy's a little upset.  I wish I had some Pepto.  That usually helps.  Yesterday I took my last antacid pill.  With orange juice lol!  I'm a 'tard...Intellectually I'm really kind of...dumb, I guess.  I guess I'm emotionally intelligent though.  I have this theory that unless you're a total retard...uh...totally mentally disabled, everyone's pretty much equally intelligent, strengths making up for shortcoming here and there.  At least, I'd like to think that.  I'd like to think that like I'd like to believe in an afterlife and stuff.  Wishful thinking...theories.  Blahdeeblah.

I'm gonna go before my battery dies,
-Jad

• 09:14 I can paint my face and stand very very still...it's not very practical, but it still pays the bills. #
• 10:37 Coffee, then another splendid music class with the Grub. #
• 12:38 Lunch. Thank U, ceiling kitteh, for this, our daily nom... #
• 15:37 @karenbynight: What a shock; I'm so, so sorry. *hug* #
• 16:52 What a lovely day to be outside. The parsley seems to have exploded! Perhaps the bunnies might enjoy some. #
• 18:59 @cortneyofeden: Disgruntled kitteh is...disgruntled. =^.^= #
• 20:40 The buzzy little bunny seems to work nicely. Good to know. #
• 20:57 Do you know your acnestis from your petrichor? tinyurl.com/66cxux #
• 23:22 Joyfulness abounds! @princeofwands and @karenbynight are moving just down the street from the Sanctuary. ♥ #

The amount of time we've spent apart is more than what we've spent together, probably even triple or quadruple the amount of time we've spent together.

And somehow, I guess it just feels like that person who used to be beside me, who I used to talk to a lot, is gone. I think the only person I've been talking to nowadays about stuff is LJ. LJ is always there, will always be there, is probably the only reliable, dependable person there is nowadays. I can just tell LJ everything, anything. Even if LJ doesn't respond, at least I feel somewhat better getting everything off my chest.

I talked to Weijie and Jia Yang today, tearing up in the process. To be honest I also don't know why I am getting so emotional over it.

I just don't feel like being the person who's "chasing after" anymore. I'm tired of this, I'm tired of feeling this way. I don't want to get puffy eyes over it, I don't want to be the only one who's trying while the other goes to play.

I don't want to give without getting anything back in return.

We hardly speak nowadays. I don't ask him about his day - I don't tell him about mine.

I think we are worse than before when we were still friends. I don't know what to call us anymore. Strangers probably.

I am sick of just being the one waiting. And waiting and waiting.

And for what? For what? He probably also can't give me a good reason.

I had never been loved by him, but whatever it was I felt, cared for and whatnot, I don't feel it anymore. I feel nothing. Just nothing.

Now off to figure out, with everybody else on egl, WTF to actually do tomorow. DAMN YOU, HYPOCRITICAL INSTRUCTIONS!

Current Mood:	amused
Current Music:	Celine Dion:::: If that's what it takes

Kind of want?
xDD
We'll seee >______>

Orientation is tomorrow so I should be getting some sleep Dx

I'll up pics on the weekend. . .

You are a Romantic Seme!

A true romantic, you're safest sticking with a partner who is gentle and can appreciate your mature, loving ways and protective nature. Most often found with a handful of roses and wine, you are committed to your partner and their happiness, which makes you a perfect match for the Innocent Uke, who you will dedicate yourself to and lavish with gifts and attention.

Most compatible with: Innocent Uke, Clueless Uke

Least compatible with: Badass Uke, Dramatic Uke

What seme or uke are you? Take the experience at SemeUke.com, or find merchandise here.

Current Mood:

ditzy

and saw the number..

Hi new people , your not missing anything if I have not added you back as I do not really do pals only posts.

Who are you any way and why are you reading my dribble? am I that funny looking?

well any way welcome and I hope your eyes do not bleed too much from my random museings of things that go on around me.

Current Mood:

I never sleep

Originally published at Gibberings. You can comment here or there.

• Why does no one buy the Woodsy Hobo? Why? http://tinyurl.com/5cqkcb #

Derp, means I've pretty much ignored everything else though. Ahahaha, I better get to work on my minibang, deadline's coming up real soon. @__@ Running into the same problem I had with doing a submission for the 5927 contest though, woe.

LAST NIGHT, I stayed up 'til 5 or something reading Runaways. Finished it off this afternoon! I can't wait for the new issues to start coming out. Ahhh, I read through it all too quickly. ;; I've started watching Firefly too and I'm already 7 episodes in. :B

LESS THEN A WEEK AND A HALF LEFT FOR SCHOOL-- it's going to be hell this year. ;3;

And happy birthday to spiraled and aigis. Have a good one! Hope your day is filled to the brim with fun. *__*

also- it makes me sad that I can't do this with my hands: