Title: Snapshots
Word Count: 6,925
Pairing: Jensen/Jared and Chris/Steve, mainly; Sophia/Sandy, mentions of Sophia/Alexis, Sophia/Alona and Jensen/Tom.
Full cast list with photos
Warnings: AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort. Quite a dark fic - mentions abuse, rape, violence, self-harm, all happened in the past but that affect the present. I promise everything will be treated with the maximum tact and respect. I in no way support rape or abuse, or show it in any sort of positive light. This is merely the journey of a broken soul towards health and regeneration, showing how those terrible events affect a life and how you can deal with it.
Rating: from PG-13 to NC-17
Beta: the wonderful indusnm - I’ll never thank you enough.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, and this is all the product of my overactive (and slightly twisted) imagination! Please don’t sue!
Summary: “Lie awake in bed at night, and think about your life, do you want to be different? It's time to forget about the past, to wash away what happened last” - 30 Seconds to Mars, A beautiful lie


Prologue - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8







I bow and kiss cammissbloom's feet for this wonderful, wonderful new banner!! &hearts



Note: I've played with this chapter after my beta sent it back to me so yeah.. there're probably gonna be mistakes scattered all over. Plz ignore them, mmmkay? ;) *hugs*



Chapter 9


There are weird noises outside. Like when people attempt to be quiet, and the voices become hisses and mumbles. Or maybe it’s just that he’s not awake enough to make distinctions. Jensen burrows deeper into the pillow, trying to get back into unconsciousness.

“He slept like this?”

“Just open the window. Hand me that blanket- careful now.”

There’s stuff being moved around. Something flapping.

“Don’t walk into it.”

“I know, I can see it pretty damn well.”

Something goes off, and the darkness pressing over Jensen’s eyelids is suddenly darker. He moans, trying to roll on his other side, but a pair of strong hands are pushing his back, preventing him from accomplishing the move. Disquiet turns into panic, and Jensen’s eyes shot open with a half cry, arms going over his head as he curls up on instinct.

“You’re gonna land in your puke if you’re not careful, man,” the drawl coming from above him is soft and reassuring. Jensen dares a peak through the gap in his arms. Chris’ face is not far from his own. A blanket is being wrapped around his shoulders, Chris keeping him steady on the clean side of the bed. “You’re safe,” he murmurs, so softly Jensen almost misses out on it. “Just take it easy.”

Natural light floods the room, along with a cool breeze that makes goosebumps appear all over his skin, and he curls up tighter in the blanket. The fresh air from outside brings out just exactly how bad the room is stinking, and Jensen feels his stomach churn again as the exact reason why it’s stinking comes back.

Chris inches the both of them off to the other side of the bed, keeping one arm around Jensen’s middle and saying something unintelligible behind his shoulders. There’s an affirmative murmur, and the sheets are pulled away from under them.

Jensen darts to look over Chris’ shoulders. Steve’s busying himself with a mop on the floor, the soiled sheets piled up in the corner near the open window, and he fights against the urge to throw up again.

“It’s okay,” Chris soothes, “Don’t worry. We’ll take care of it.”

“Don’t,” Jensen grits out, “Just – let me go – I’ll clean –”

“It’s no trouble,” Chris whispers. He feels Chris’ arm withdrawing, his friend trying to catch his eyes with his own. “Seriously.”

Jensen bits his lip and winces, the cut reopening in the blink of an eye. “The gym,” he mutters dazedly, putting both feet back on the floor. “Gotta go to the gym.”

“You can wait awhile,” Steve’s voice is even quieter, and Jensen doesn’t lift his eyes to meet his gaze. He feels so weak, so ashamed at the way they had to clean up after his mess that he’d rather Steve and Chris just left him there in his own vomit.

“Coffee,” Chris’ squeezes his shoulder once, “Coffee first, okay?”

“I’ll make it,” Steve’s quips, collecting the dirty sheets and the mop and walking briskly towards the door, “Lin’D’Berg’s special.”

Jensen doesn’t look up, not even when Steve’s steps have vanished downstairs, gripping the edge of the mattress so tightly his knuckles turn white. He knows that Chris can feel the tension radiating off his body in waves, and he clenches his jaw, waiting.

Chris isn’t saying a thing though. He’s just sitting there beside him, shoulders barely brushing, Jensen staring down on the floor, feeling Chris’ eyes fixed on his back.

“You’ll forgive me for saying this, but you sorta reek, man.”

Jensen turns to face him, a little bewildered. “Huh?”

“You reek.” Chris grins, bumping his shoulder with his own. “You need a shower before you can go anywhere even remotely near the gym.”

Jensen smiles, a little bitterly. “I know.”

“So go on and shower. I’ll keep Steve busy.”

Jensen nods to himself, bringing his knees up to his face and hiding behind them. “Thanks,” he whispers, swallowing again and feeling sick with himself. More because he can’t stand the silence than anything else, he says, “You two kissed and made up?”

Chris chuckles softly, shaking his head and grinning at him. “You’re not asking for details, are you?”

Jensen grins and pretends to shudder. “Not really.”

“Pity,” Chris says with a soft sigh, and Jensen leans his cheek against his joined knees, looking wistfully at him. Chris must have felt his eyes on him because he turns with a puzzled smile. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” he shakes his head quickly, looking away again.

“I meant that notepad on your nightstand.” Jensen pales and makes a wild grab for it, but Chris is quicker and much more awake. He snatches the piece of paper from under Jensen’s scratchy fingers, holding it up to eyelevel. “Jared?

There. Chris had walked right into the open can of worms. Jensen curls up and falls heavily on his side over the mattress. He is already hearing Chris’ gleeful jokes inside his head, the friendly teasing, and it shouldn’t hurt as bad as it does – Chris is his friend, he doesn’t mean for it to sting like that, only it does, and Jensen is so caught up in his own head that he doesn’t realize Chris has stayed quiet and silent until one warm hand covers his shoulder gently.

He starts, looking up in Chris’ now somewhat sad smile. “If I give it back to you, will you promise me you’ll keep it?”

“What for?” Jensen hides his face into the pillow again. “He wouldn’t want anything to do with me anyway.”

Chris sighs somewhere behind him. Jensen shies further away.
“He gave you this, right?” he hears the paper rustling in Chris’ fingers, and he imagines Chris is dangling it above his head.

“He gave it to Sophie.”

“Same thing, dude. And no man has ever dared to hit on Sophia in living memory – no man that knows what’s good for his attributes, anyway.” Jensen doesn’t laugh, and rolls on his back to face Chris again.

“I’m a freak,” he says with a brittle voice. “Why would he want me to call him for?”

Chris sighs heavily. “Jen – ”

“You know it’s true,” Jensen says, voice rising slightly in volume as it get thinner and thinner. “In case you’ve missed out on it, you just had to –”

“Will you shut up a second and listen to me?” Chris sighs, placing his hand over Jensen’s shoulder and squeezing. “It’s bullshit, that’s what it is. I’d do it again. It’s all right, okay? Get that through that damn head of yours,” Chris is still looking at him, and Jensen can read the honesty in his soft blue eyes. “We all care. We all care about you. Jared too, obviously,” Jensen looks away again.

“Seriously man,” Chris dangles Jared’s number in front of him. “You don’t want it, then I’ll keep it.”

“What? No!”

Chris amused grin tells Jensen he’s just fallen into a trap. “Then say you won’t throw it away.”

He chews on his lower lip again and winces when the cut sheds some more droplets of blood. Chris sighs and shakes his head at him. “Whatever am I gonna do with you?” he says with a soft smile, reaching around and wrapping one arm around Jensen’s shoulders. Jensen fists curl around Chris’ shirt and he buries his face against his collarbone.

“Go on take your shower,” Chris speaks after a while. “I’ll leave this here, okay?”

“Okay.” Jensen murmurs quietly, still clinging to Chris’ shirt, knowing he should feel ashamed but not giving a rat’s ass about it. He only pulls back when he hears Steve’s footsteps back on the stairs, pulling at his sleeves and trying to look like he wasn’t about to burst into tears.

“Hey,” Steve smiles from the doorway, a breakfast tray in his hands. “I thought we’d be more comfortable up here.”

“Good thinking,” Chris says easily, patting on the bed next to him. Steve lowers the tray in front of Jensen, sitting on Chris’ other side and picking up a slice of toast for himself. “C’mon, dig in, it’s getting cold.”

Jensen’s stomach isn’t exactly up to eating, but he picks a buttered toast up anyway, chewing on a corner and grimacing when a new wave of nausea hits. He puts it down, reaching for the coffee instead, hoping it will help him soothe his frayed nerves.

Chris and Steve are talking amongst themselves, not asking him to partake in the conversation, but neither leaving him on his own. Chris’ thigh is pressed against Steve’s in casual intimacy, something that Jensen rarely gets to see.

Every time the two of them are around one another it’s more in the way of shared glances than anything even remotely physical – if it wasn’t for the Dolby surround walls of their house, (and well, um, knowing Chris, that’s it) they would be hard pressed to pin anything on the both of them.

Jensen still doesn’t get how Steve always takes Chris back whatever he does. He figures it’s just the way Steve’s made, or maybe it’s how Sophia says, that Steve just loves, unconditionally. He’s glad for that, he thinks as he takes another sip of coffee and Chris chuckles at something Steve has just told him Chad did. Maybe there’ll come a day where Chris will pull his head out of his ass and then they’ll be really happy.

“Jen?”

Crap. Jensen’s hand trembles on the cup of coffee and he lowers it onto the tray. Steve has apparently just asked him a question that he failed to hear, too caught up in his stream of consciousness. “Yeah?”

He hears Chris sigh and he turns to him, “What?”

“I asked ya if you’re coming to the gym with me.”

Jensen blushes. Hard. “Uh. Yeah. After the shower though…”

“Alright then,” Steve says with a smile, “I’ll go and check the situation at the pub out. Leaving Jared with Chad for a whole morning still doesn’t strike me as a good thing.”

Jared. Jensen’s heart makes a wild leap. What if Steve tells him? What is Jared going to think? God – what if he puts two and two together? What if Steve puts two and two together and tells him?

“Dude,” Jensen shakes his head and looks back at where Chris is frowning at him. Bonus point at him for spacing out again. Steve’s nowhere to be seen, Jensen guesses he’s gone down while his head threw itself down yet another Pindaric flight. “You’re back at thinking too much over things.”

Jensen blushes and puts his knees up again. “Sorry.”

Chris stands up, clasping his shoulder. “You shouldn’t think this much,” he says in a softer voice. He puts Jared’s number down on Jensen’s nightstand. “It takes you to bad places where you shouldn’t go.”

Jensen nods. “I know.”

“I’ll wait for you downstairs, okay?”

“Yeah…”

The door clicks closed gently. Jensen stays immobile for a few moments before untangling his limbs and walking out to take his shower, not looking at himself in the mirror before stepping under the steamy hot jet, hoping against hope it will wash everything away.


+++


The Lin’D’Berg in the morning is not as dodgy as it looks at night, Sandy decides. She knocks over the “CLOSED” sign, checking her wristwatch and then her cell phone for the fourth time in a row. Jared said to come before eleven, and it’s a quarter to.

She hears rustling from inside and then a bolt being moved back, Jared finally filling the door frame with a gleeful grin. “Hey girlfriend.”

“Hey you back,” Sandy grins, leaning in and smooching him on the lips. “Am I early?”

“Not awfully,” Jared pulls back to let her in, “We’re still cleaning up.”

Sandy smiles and looks around. Yes, definitely less dodgy with the sunlight pooling through the years-thick grime covering the window panels and Chad nowhere to be seen. “So what is it that you couldn’t tell me over the phone?”

“First of all that you didn’t show up yesterday with your date, and for that you suck, big time.”

Sandy groans, taking a stool at the counter and letting her wickerwork bag drop to the floor. “I told you, Milo doesn’t like big, rowdy crowds –”

“Total pussy.”

Sandy snorts. “Bit rich coming from you.”

“Hey!” Jared flicks a paper ammo at her. “At least I’m not into the whole macro-biotic vegan shit he surely forced on you.”

“Whatever,” Sandy rolls her eyes at him. “So, news. You said big news.”

“Yeah, you totally won’t believe it,” Jared grins, busying himself with the open coffee machine, “You know Steve, right?”

“Dude, I was here with you when he hired you!” Sandy picks up the crumpled paper he’s thrown at her and throws it right back at his head. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Bitch,” Jared flips the ammo out of his hair and takes out the coffee filters to clean. “Well, Steve lives with people.”

“Has this conversation got any point?”

“Shut the hell up, I’m getting there! One of Steve’s roomies is your photographer, the one you’ve been harboring a crush on.”

“I am not harboring – holy fuck! No way!” Jared laughs at her squeal, but Sandy couldn’t care less. “He’s Sophia Bush’s roommate?”

“That’s what I just said, dudette.”

“And when the hell did you want to tell me?”

“Hey,” Jared frowns at her, “I told you as soon as I could. And there’s no need to sound that bitchy.”

Sandy sighs and rubs her forehead with her knuckles. “Damn. You’re right. I’m sorry… you know I’m a bit –”

“Stressed out,” Jared finishes for her, putting her cappuccino down on the counter. “I get it. But you’ve been jumpy and on edge since you got out of the studio. You only did the shoot two days ago, and Sophia said she’d need time. Relax.”

Sandy drinks from her cup a little broodingly. “What did she tell you?” she knows she’s sounding like a petulant kid, but she can’t really help it. She sees Jared grinning at her before he goes to pick up his broom and starts sweeping the space behind the counter.

“She was in a rush, not like we stayed to chat. She only gave Steve a hard time because he’s hired someone under twenty-one… asked me if my parents knew –”

“Why did she ask?” Sandy frowns. Jared shakes his head and leans back against the sink.

“I think she was tryin’ to make sure Steve wouldn’t get into trouble… she picked up her food and then left. She said she’d be around anyway because she’s always there… Chad has got this huge, unrequited crush for her – and it’s gotta be unrequited, I mean, since she’s not interested in men that way, but it’s so funny, you see him like this big scary dude and instead he’s all warm and soft inside, totally melts every time she’s around –”

Sandy rolls her eyes at Jared’s continuous flow of talk, sipping her cappuccino with an uneasy feeling in her stomach. Maybe if she’d forced Milo to go to the Lin’D’Berg she could’ve met her, as well. She knows it’s pointless to get worked up about that, and it’s not like Jared could have done anything, even if he’d called her straight away…

“Are you listening to me at all?”

Sandy snaps her eyes up to meet Jared’s, deer-caught-in-the-headlights look going on big time, and she’s starting to try and make up an excuse for her lack of attention when Jared waves his hand and turns her back to her. “Never mind.”

“No, hey, don’t get mad. I’m sorry. I spaced out – you know I always listen.”

Jared sighs. “I know you do,” He says with a smile, shrugging off her apology. “It’s me, I talk too much.” He goes to sweep the dirt off the floor and throws it into the rubbish bin with his back to her.

Sandy bites her lip, getting off the chair and walking round the counter to put her hand over the small of his back. “I’m sorry Jay… I was thinking about what you said, about Sophia and everything…”

“It’s alright,” Jared turns to smile at her and bends in two to kiss her forehead. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Can’t you tell me again?”

“It was nothing,” Jared shrugs, “Just that I also met the other guys she lives with. The guitarist, Christian Kane, and Jensen.”

Sandy smiles awkwardly at him. One thing most people never really bother to notice is that under all that hyper babble, Jared’s self-esteem is really a little shaky because of all the put-downs his father had always given him. His feelings are easily hurt, even if most of the time you don’t even notice because he’s just too good a person to make you feel bad about it.

Not that Sandy doesn’t feel like shit anyway for forgetting about that and making him feel inadequate. And she’s supposed to be his best friend. “Are they all just as cool?”

Jared has itched back his usual grin, and he launches into a passionate speech about Steve’s roommates, “You bet. The guitarist is totally insane, he stopped by last night when we were closing down to drive Steve’s home… Steve was all giddy about that, too, which was slightly weird cos I told him I would drive him home if Chad got lucky and such, but hey, I understand, he’s just hired me, and they all look pretty close friends, so I mean, understandable, right?”

Sandy tries to stifle a giggle and look attentive as Jared rambles on some more about Chris and Steve. She remembers perfectly well what Sophia said to them in regards to her roommates – she seriously can’t begin to understand how in hell Jared still can’t put two and two together. “Totally understandable.”

“And Jensen – wow, I mean, you know I hate college and won’t be seen dead in another school full of rich frat douches like, ever again, but him,” Jared shakes his head, “No words. He’s a Ph. D candidate, he’s gonna be a medic and he’s just so great, and so passionate about what he’s doing and his specialization – nothing like the walking dead douches you see around here from time to time.”

Sandy grins at his enthusiasm, sitting back on another stool a little closer to him. “How did you meet him?”

“He stopped by to talk to Steve and he ended up staying the whole morning…” Jared looked away, scratching the back of his head, “Man, I made a total ass out of myself with him.”

“Why d’you say that?” Sandy chuckles, “If he stayed the whole morning probably he didn’t mind.”

“He’s so shy,” Jared puts his chin over his crossed arms, looking thoughtfully up in Sandy’s face. Then he groans and hides his face in his arms, “And what do I do to impress the smart college guy? I go and touch his face.”

“Touch his – oh man,” Sandy can’t help herself. She giggles, trying to keep the noise quiet at Jared’s affronted look. “He’s got freckles, hasn’t he? Sweetheart…” she shakes her head as Jared looks bemusedly up at her. “I’m starting to think Sophia was right. You should admit it to yourself.”

“Admit what? Oh – not again,” Jared groans and buries his face in his arms anew. “Chad thinks I’m gay, too. I swear it’s starting to bother me a little.”

“We’re just trying to help you,” Sandy says with a gentler smile. “Anyway – go on. He already knows about your obsession with freckles. That’s something major to get out of the way at a first date.”

“It wasn’t a date – oh god. Why am I friends with you again?”

“Cos you love me,” Sandy grins and gives him a kiss on top of his hair. “Does he come here often, too?”

“Steve says he rarely does, because with his jobs and the research he doesn’t have not much time for himself. I gave him my number, though… gave it to Sophia to give it to him, actually.”

Sandy ears perk up again, “Why would you do that?”

Jared shrugs, “I was kinda hoping that maybe we could hang out together some time,” he says with a wistful expression. “I don’t know if he took me seriously. I’m bet he thought I was just this insane kid –”

“Who’s insane?”

Sandy turns so fast she almost topples down from the stool. Steve is flipping his phone shut and looking at them with a grin. “You got company, I see.”

Jared beams at Steve, “Hey there. Chad says he’ll be back soon.”

“Rule number two. Never believe a thing Chad says,” Steve sighs and hops up on the counter, grinning at Sandy. “Number one is –”

“Never do anything Chad says,” Jared finishes, and Steve winks at him, giving him a thumbs up before turning to Sandy.

“Nice to see you around.”

“Hi,” she grins, tucking her hair behind her ear in a nervous gesture. She doesn’t feel comfortable being in the pub when no one but the workers are allowed in, and knowing that Steve lives with Sophia doesn’t help put her at ease. “Wanted to check how the Drama Queen was doing.”

“Hey now!” Jared scowls at her. Sandy sees Steve grinning at the both of them for one instant before his expression falls again, going for the phone he just tucked away, flipping it open and putting it back to his ear.

“Something wrong, man?” Jared asks, picking up a towel with a slight frown on his face. Steve shakes his head and puts the phone down again with a grin.

“No, don’t worry. It’s nothing. So, shall we open up?”

Sandy gets to her feet. She doesn’t want to stick around too long and she’s still got to go and see her parents before the weekend. Also, the idea of hanging around at the same pub Sophia goes to, not to mention hovering around her roommate, makes her feel a little stalkerish. She’s got her number, she said she would call once the pictures were ready. No need to make the woman feel cornered.

“I’ll go now,” She wraps her arms around Jared’s neck and gives him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “Be good.”

“You too,” Jared grins, messing her hair up, “Later?”

She grins, “Settled,” she then turns to say bye to Steve, too, but the bartender is busy with his phone again, and Sandy decides she’d better let him be. “See you after you’re done. You staying at my place, okay?”

“Be there once I’m done,” Jared waves as he watches her go, smiling to himself before turning to his boss again. And frowning. “Steve?” he questions quietly.

Steve snaps his phone shut and looks apologetically at him. “Sorry. You were saying?”

“I didn’t say anything. But are you sure you’re all right? Is it Chad? Something happened?”

Steve exhales heavily and puts the phone in the middle of the counter. “Nothing… just some family trouble. I mean, some trouble at home.”

Jared sits beside him, hands in his lap. “Anything I can do?”

Steve gives him a strange look, one Jared can’t quite place. If he had to name it, he would call it appraising, but there’s something different going on behind Steve’s clear blue eyes.

“Maybe,” he says at length, “I don’t know though…”

“Try me,” he goes around to face him, his face eager and determined. “What can I do?”

Steve looks weirdly enough like he’s battling with himself before sighing. He picks up his phone again and jots down a text without speaking to Jared. His phone beeps back an answer and the look of turmoil leaves Steve’s face to be replaced by a determined one. “You have a car?”

Jared is about to gape at him. All this trouble for – “Uh. Sure.”

“Well, I can’t get through my friend’s cell phone. Sophia, you met her right?”

Jared beams, “Course I did. What’s the matter?”

“Well, she needs to go pick up our other roommate – Jensen – after work. There was a bit of a mess and we screwed up our schedules a little, so now I’m stuck here because Chad is nowhere to be seen and I can’t leave until he’s back, and Sophia ain’t picking up so no one is going to pick Jensen up later.”

“Well, what’s the problem?” he claps his hands together and smiles brightly at Steve. “I can do it. What time does he get off work?”

“Four o’clock this afternoon,” Steve smiles a bit. “You sure you don’t mind? Gym’s near UCLA and then you gotta go to our place, and back here, cos there’s no way in Hell I’m doing another Friday night here on my own…”

Jared waves his hand mid-air. “Chill. I’m not going to take forever. And it’s no trouble, really.”

Steve gives him a grateful smile, “Thanks man,” he pauses for an instant, “You know Jensen’s a bit shy, yeah?”

“Uh… well, yeah,” Jared shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “I’m not going to embarrass him, if that’s what you’re worrying about.”

“No, no, don’t – don’t get me wrong,” Steve smiles. “Just … go easy on him, okay?”

He rolls his eyes at him. “Dude, please!” Jared huffs in irritation, “You think I’d go around humping random people!”

Steve snorts and pats him on the back. “Usually that’s what people try to do to you,”

“No need to remind me of that. Dude. Ew. Gross.” Jared scrunches up his nose, and he doesn’t know why he grins instead of feeling put out when Steve laughs harder. But it’s a good feeling, and Jared isn’t about to question it.


+++


“I know, I know, I know,” Sophia raises both hands as she walks a little breathlessly into the beautifully organized space of the Getty Museum. “I’m late. I know. I’m sorry.”

Jeffrey rolls his eyes at her, while Gale just smiles behind him. “And here I’ve been telling Gale how great of an assistant you are… how reliable, how prompt…”

“He lies all the time,” Sophia smiles apologetically at Gale Harold and shakes his hand. “I’m terribly sorry though. I didn’t think it would take me that long at this hour.”

“Don’t you worry none,” Gale smiles, hands going deep in his pockets. Sophia takes a deep breath and goes to fumble with the latches of her portfolio.

“Okay, I was going to do a great introduction to how we thought and organized the expo and all that, but in the end I guess it’s better if we take a tour while I talk,” She picks up the sheets of paper where she’d jotted down the position of the frames and looks at her watch with a cringe. “I wouldn’t want to keep you from any other commitment because of my tardiness .”

“It’s no trouble, honestly” Gale says with a smile. “From what Jeffrey told me your work is surely worth the wait.”

Sophia opens and closes her mouth a couple of times before clearing her throat, cheeks getting a lovely pink. “Right. Uh. If you’d follow me,” she hastily turns her back to them, leading the way through the gallery. “We thought about setting up the expo as a journey of discovery, going from outside out –”

Jeffrey is still laughing about that long after Gale had left, complimenting them both and kissing Sophia’s cheeks twice.

“You totally blushed!”

“Shut the fuck up!”

“You blushed! You blushed when Gale Harold complimented you. You, my proud gay assistant, are a Gale Harold fangirl.”

“Jeffrey, will anyone really miss you if I drown you in that fuckin’ Martini?”

Jeffrey grins and raises his glass to toast her. “You, for one.”

“I can deal with loss pretty well.”

“C’mon, it was fun.” Jeffrey takes another sip of his glass. “And by the way, you really did do a pretty amazing job.”

“Thanks.” She sighs and goes to sit on his desk, ankles crossed in mid-air. “So, you decided on a date yet?”

“In four weeks’ time,” he nods to the calendar on the wall. “That should give us enough time both to finish the set up and start with the promotion of the thing.”

“Good enough for me.”

Jeffrey fishes in his drawer for a pack of cigarettes. “What about that trial you did two days ago? Have you seen those yet?”

Sophia looks briefly away. “Yeah, saw ‘em.”

“And?”

She raises one eyebrow at him. “Didn’t you tell me you wanted that shit outta your hair until the exposition was done for?”

Jeffrey makes an impatient gesture with his hand. “You don’t have to take me at me word constantly!”

“Duh, you are the one saying that you’re the boss, that you need to affirm your authority, that we don’t take you seriously, that we don’t bow and kiss your –”

“Enough! You want me to call Gale back?”

“Shut up!”

“Whatever. C’mon. Show me those photos. I know you have ‘em with you.”

“And how would you know exactly?” Sophia scoffs, hopping down the desk. Jeffrey smirks at her.

“You’re carrying your portfolio. You only do that when you’re working on something.”

She huffs at him and grins, going to pick up the black folder. “What if you’re wrong?”

“I’m never wrong. C’mon,” he gestures at her with a smirk. “Hand them over.”

Sophia unlatches her portfolio, flipping quickly through the pages until she stops on a central page, a set of 3x5 inches preview prints fixed with white tape to their sides.

“Here.”

She knows they’re good. Sophia isn’t one of those women who go fishing for compliments by covering their huge egos with false modesty. Once upon a time she used to say that was a prerogative of straight women, but she knows better now. Even when she’d played in the high school softball league with Alona, she had known she was a far better player than her, and she’d never refrained from saying so, nevermind that Alona was her girlfriend.

Sophia smiles a little bitterly at that thought. Things hadn’t really turned out that great, even if she had been the best in that field alright.

“She’s got beautiful eyes and a great smile.” Jeffrey states after going through the previews for a few minutes. “Now where are the ones you didn’t want to show me? The ones you didn’t tell her you took.”

Sophia glares at him. “There’s a reason why I’m keeping them for myself,” she grumbles, but Jeffrey is already waving his hand impatiently and Sophia flips back through her portfolio to take out rigid, 10x8 inches black and white prints. There are seven of them, all extreme croppings, details, curves.

She doesn’t look at Jeffrey while he goes through them. She wanders back to the window, staring unseeingly down at the street.


“Why is it that you never show me the good ones?”

“Dudette, quit it,” she tickles her side and smiles at her in the dark, red-lightened room. “It’s just fun.”

“It’s not,” she turns to face her and kisses her jaw, arms entwining around her neck. “You’re great at it. You could be a great photographer if you weren’t a damn A league star already.”

“Not you too, huh?” She kisses her soft, plump lips and wraps her hands into her long blonde locks. “Or you want to get rid of my ass once you get into Oregorn State Team?”

“Idiot,” she kisses her again, her hair glowing devilishly in the dark red light. “Can’t leave you.”

“Damn right.”

They kiss like they have all night. When they break apart, there’s a faint glow about her mouth, one that always draws her eyes and makes her fingers itch for her camera.

“You should show Jensen his own shots… those details are amazing.”

She shivers. “Maybe I will.”

“You should!” she pokes at her sides, and she squirms, going to shake the chemicals off the black and whites again. “He’s acting so weird lately... Maybe that will cheer him up.”

Her hands clamp down on the tank, the chemicals flopping about with the harsh move. “I doubt it.”

“Did he and Tom fight? Because Tom’s been hell on wheels for weeks now.”

“No.”

“Then what –”

“Drop it.”

She can feel her frowning even with her back turned to her. “I was just sayin-”

“Drop it!”

”Whatever,” the pout in her voice is unmistakable and she grits her teeth, trying not to think, to remember, to feel. “Jesus, Sophie…” Her hand places over the small of her back, and she fights not to shrug it off. It’s not her fault. “Sometimes looks like you care ‘bout him a whole lot more than me.”

The chemicals glow behind her closed eyelids, tinting everything in deep, thick blood. She snaps her eyes open again - blood on Jensen’s cheeks, dripping into his eyes, down his back –

She snatches the half-printed photos and throws them in the bin, the metallic clang reverberating in the small space. The red liquid is staring back at her mockingly, like a mirror.

“Let’s go out.”




“Those are great.”

She thumps back to the present with a painful bump. She tears herself away from the window and walks back to Jeffrey’s desk. “Yeah?”

“You brought out her light,” Jeffrey tilts one picture, the pearly surface setting off the dark contrast of black hair and fair skin. “Why do you never show me the good ones?”

She forces out a grin, even if she knows it comes out more like a grimace. “I used to get that a lot.”

Jeffrey shakes his head. “Book her business portfolio. But I want a classy one, you got me? No glamour, no sparkly stuff. Artistic work. The one you keep for yourself.”

“I never keep –”

“You totally do and you know it.”

“Fine. I do. Never wondered why?”

“Beside the fact that you’re stupid?”

Sophia wants to snap, oh-so-badly. There’s a reason why she never went to Samantha after a few months of sessions. The woman had a way of setting all her nerves on fire and she was liable to bite anyone’s head off with all her feelings so close to the surface. “Nevermind,” she says with difficulty. “When will you have some time?”

“After the exposition.”

“Okay,” She picks up Sandy’s photos and stacks them away again. She’s utterly gorgeous and Sophia thinks herself a very bad person from wanting to keep part of that beauty to herself. Maybe Samantha is right after all… she’s still got to learn how to let people go. She sighs. “I’ll call her sometime next week.”

“Good thinking,” Jeffrey nods gravelly. “Take the weekend off.”

She spins around to face him with a frown. “What for?”

Jeffrey rolls his eyes at her. “To relax,” he says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’ve been working round the clock for days on end. You obviously need a little time for yourself. Take it. We can start on Monday.”

“You said four weeks is the minimum –”

“We’ll make four starting on Monday,” Jeffrey stands up and goes to clasp her shoulder. “That’s an order. You know I’m the boss and you show me some respect already.”

Sophia grins weakly at him before rising up on the tip of her Converses to press a quick kiss on his cheek. “Gotcha boss.”

“Get lost,” Jeffrey smiles, “And rest, okay?”

She nods, hoisting her bag higher on her shoulder and picking up the worn black portfolio. “Will do.”


+++


Jensen wipes sweat off his forehead with a pained groan. He feels weaker than he has in weeks, and he supposes it’s a direct consequence of the way he’s spent the night. Thank god it’s almost four, and his shift will be done for. He can’t wait to climb into Chris’ car and disappear off the face of the universe until Monday.

“Jensen?” Mrs. Carter’s friend, Mrs. Longoria, is calling him from the hall. He pastes on a smile for her and puts down his water to get back to her.

“Yes?”

“You think you can make room for my daughter tomorrow afternoon?”

Jensen inwardly cringes. He’d been expecting that. “Mrs. Longoria, your daughter just had her first session today,” he tries to reason, “It wouldn’t be good for her leg to go through two sessions after 24 hours.”

“I’ll pay you more. You can come out to our house. My husband is always away, he wouldn’t even need to know.”

Jensen blanks out. The woman is smiling coyly at him, tucking her hair behind her ear and Jensen feels the walls of the gym closing in on him. “It’s not a matter of money, Mrs. Longoria,” he says again. “I’m doing the best I can –”

“That’s good,” Mrs. Longoria takes half a step closer and smiles up at him, “Wouldn’t settle for anything but your best.”

Jensen backs away. “I’m sure,” he says weakly, his breath getting worked up in the span of a second. “I’m – I’m done for the day, so if – if you –”

She gives a thrilling laugh, her hand closing on his elbow with an eyebrow arch, “Anything you’d like, my dear.”

Jensen feels yet another bout of nausea taking hold. He wriggles his arm out of her hold, his back hitting the wall. No. God no – no –

“JEN!”

Jensen spins around wildly, his heart doing a convulsive leap as six feet and over of dimples and bangs and hazel bounds towards him. Mrs. Longoria backs away, deer-caught-in-the-headlights look and all that. “Hey. Sorry I was late – traffic’s hell at this hour.”

Jensen blinks stupidly at him, heart stuck in his throat and beating to a wild, off-sync rhythm. “You?”

Jared beams. “Yes – uh, sorry, am I interrupting?” Jared turns to the woman with his brow furrowed. “I thought I was late so I kinda rushed in –”

“No, no I was – I was done.” Jensen exhales, feeling the fear recede. Mrs. Longoria walks briskly away without saying goodbye, and Jensen slouches a little against the wall with a muffled curse.

“I’m sorry,” Jared says in a whisper a few instants later. Jensen opens his eyes to find him a foot or so away from him, head bowed slightly to be eye-level with ihm. “I didn’t mean to walk right into your workplace – the girl at the reception told me you were done and -”

“No, it’s – it’s alright.” Jensen takes a deep breath and smiles a little up in Jared’s concerned face. “What are you doing here anyway?” he asks, a little awed. He’d kinda been trying not to think about Jared and his own misery for the whole day, he can’t convince himself that Jared is actually there, now, plucking him out of a tight spot and beaming at him like he’s the sole person in the room. Maybe the skipping lunch thing has gotten him a little funny in the head.

“Messed up schedules with drivers,” Jared says with a grin, stretching his arms up above his head. His shirt rides up to show a thin line of tanned skin, and Jensen’s stomach does a somersault. “No one could get through to Sophia cos she’s working, I remember Steve telling me something about an exposition – and since I’ve proven myself reliable with cars, and not so much with the pub on my own, here I am.”

Jensen blinks several times again. “Uh. You – you shouldn’t have done it. I could’ve taken a bus –”

“Oh man, no way,” Jared waves one hand in midair, “And it was no trouble.” He smiles at him, genuine and honest, and he suddenly the walls of his stomach pressing in on him.

“Well uh…” He scratches the back of his neck, throat almost too tight for speech when he says, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Jared takes his hand and throws a wink at him. “And I swear everything Sandy usually says about my driving is bullcrap.”

Jensen hesitates for a long instant before his fingers curl around Jared’s longer, calloused ones tentatively. He can feel Jared’s warmth seeping through the skin, and he has to swallow convulsively against the lump in his throat to force back the tears.

He follows him out of the gym and out in the cool, LA autumn’s breeze, Jared continuous word flow washing over him in a soothing wave. “Car’s over there,” Jared grins at him, nodding towards his battered up blue Volvo. “And yes. Sucks. But at least she carries me around.”

Jensen has a sudden visual of himself and Sophia going into that wreck of a garage to find a four-wheeler that wouldn’t bust at the first sharp bump in the road and wouldn’t force them to starve for a month after the purchase. “I think it looks awesome.”

Jared beams at him, his dimples carving even deeper as he opens the car’s door and hops in behind the wheel. “You’re just trying to be nice, aren’t you?”

Jensen shakes his head and smiles. “I’m serious.”

“Well, thank you,” Jared hits the play button on the radio forcefully, Avril Lavigne bursting out of the speakers. He turns to look quickly at where Jensen’s quirking one eyebrow at him. “My sister’s.”

“Right,” Jensen chuckles, laying his head back on the headrest as I’m with you filters from the speaker above the growling of the engine. “Right…”


TBC....