South of Nowhere Fanfiction

FIC: Our Dance Floor is Wherever it Just Needs to be

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 17:20:51 GMT

Title: Our Dance Floor is Wherever it Just Needs to be
Pairing: Spencer/Ashley
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 1065
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Summary: AU. Spencer still felt uncomfortable about it. Like she was intruding, somehow.

you slow it down

Fic: Just A Girl Missing Her Girlfriend [South Of Nowhere - Spashley]

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 19:10:41 GMT

Title: Just A Girl Missing Her Girlfriend

Fandom: South Of Nowhere

Rating: R

Word Count: 550

Disclaimer: Only the rambling is mine, everything else not

A/N: Could be read as either Spencer’s or Ashley’s point of view. It’s just a weird little ramble recounted as if she wasn’t talking about herself, except it’s quite obvious she is, know what I mean?

Summary: She just really misses her girlfriend.

She had been gone for a while now and you couldn’t take it anymore. You missed her so much. It hadn’t even been a week yet and she said she was going to be gone for a few weeks. You really didn’t know how you were going to survive that. And to top it all off, it was going to be your birthday in a couple of days and you knew she wouldn’t be there to spend it with you. ‘Cause that’s all you really wanted to do on your birthday, spend the day with her, very possibly make love to her all day. That would have been the only gift you were looking forward to: her. But that wouldn’t happen, she wouldn’t even be able to get a hold of you anyhow and it wasn’t her fault at all. Leave it to her mom to send her off somewhere with such short notice, or no notice at all like ‘hey here’s your bags, see you in a few weeks darling, bye!’And of course it would be a place where you couldn’t even text her! Bitch.

The days went on so slow and goddamnit this place felt so boring without her, seriously, you never even remotely could have thought LA could be boring but without her around, that’s what it was: boring. Or at least it is now that you know what it’s like to be with her, she could make you enjoy even the most boring thing on the planet so now that she wasn’t here even the thing you enjoyed the most was boring. Nothing held your interest if it wasn’t with her. People had to literally drag you out of the house to try to keep you distracted but you know what? It never worked. So all you did was stay home with your laptop, constantly signed on AIM, you know, just in case she would get a hold of some kind of internet connection and you didn’t want to miss a chance, even if that was very not likely to happen.

And you know what’s worse? You were pretty horny. So what could you do? No, not cheat on her! I meant porn. Yeah, exactly. You didn’t even care if it was a movie or a fiction, you just needed to get off. God, you missed her so much. Her eyes, her hair, her lips, her beautiful face, her unique scent, her perfect round breasts, her grabby hands, her soft skin, her hips, her legs, her cute little bum, not to mention her… *clears throat*… where was I? Nevermind, let’s just say you missed her, all of her. So that didn’t help ease your “tension”, you needed to feel her inside of you, needed to be inside of her. You decided, then and there, that you were going to show her how much you missed when she got back. You would jump on her and smother her with kisses.

And that’s what you did, a couple of weeks later when, just as she got back home, you showed up at her door. Except you didn’t just kiss her, you did a hell of a lot more than that! You really, really needed that. Seriously. You couldn’t get enough of her. And apparently, neither did she!

FIC: Hope for the Hopeless [South of Nowhere, Spencer/Ashley]

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 03:38:34 GMT

Title: Hope for the Hopeless
Author: jengrrrl
Fandom: South of Nowhere
Pairing: Spencer/Ashley
Rating: R (adult) for sexual situations, language
Spoilers/Continuity: Takes place years later.
Summary: "Maybe it was the rock-and-roll lifestyle that broke them up."
Word count: ~4,300
Disclaimers: I don't own any part of the show; just this story.
A/N: Written for mosca in the femslash08 challenge.

Hope for the Hopeless

HELP? Looking for fic with Glen/Aiden

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 08:01:33 GMT

Okay so of course I love Spencer/Ashley, it's what makes the show so fabulous, the dynamics of those too, but I drool over Aiden and I'd LOVE to find fic where he's with Glen bc it'd be awesome to have a twist to their dynamic.

SO... ANY FIC WITH GLEN/AIDEN IN IT OUT THERE?

FIC: Road to Somewhere [South of Nowhere, Spencer/Ashley]

Thu, 08 May 2008 20:15:09 GMT

Title: Road to Somewhere
Author: Jengrrrl
Fandom: South of Nowhere
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Set right after the season 3A finale.
Words: 709
Date: May 8, 2008

Road to Somewhere

FIC: Tangled Up In Blue [South of Nowhere, Spencer/Ashley]

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 05:39:34 GMT

Title: Tangled Up In Blue
Author: Jengrrrl
Fandom: South of Nowhere
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: "It starts with an ad in the newspaper." AU
A/N: Written for the Freewheelin' Ficathon, and based on the Bob Dylan song of the same name.
Words: 10,246
Date: April 26, 2008

Tangled Up In Blue

Drabble/Ficlet Requests Now Open!

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 01:06:49 GMT

(If this isn't allowed I apologize & feel free to delete.)

I've been really slacking with my fic writing because I've been uninspired. So I decided to do some drabble/ficlet requests. You can request as many drabble/ficlets as you want but put your first two choices first as those will absolutely get done (anything over two will be written when/if time allows). Make sure to give prompts (a line/setting/theme) with your request!

I'm gonna lock the post on April 12 then requests will be posted sometime in the next month!

Follow the link for the fandom/pairing list & to make requests

FIC: From An Atlas of a Difficult World [South of Nowhere, Spencer/Ashley]

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 21:42:35 GMT

Title: From An Atlas of a Difficult World
Author: Jengrrrl
Fandom: South of Nowhere
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Ashley believes. Future fic
Words: 2,195
Date: March 24, 2008

From An Atlas of a Difficult World

Looking for inspiration

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 23:23:20 GMT

With the cancellation, I'm jonesing to write, but I'm looking for some challenge sites/boards/forums for some help.

Any suggestions?

Or, if you have a challenge, pose it here!

Thanks in advance :-)

Perfection (Aiden/Ashley, Ashley/Spencer) PG-13

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 16:40:27 GMT

Title: Perfection
Pairing: Aiden/Ashley, Ashley/Spencer, Aiden/Ashley/Spencer UST, past Aiden/Kyla
Warnings: none
Rating: PG-13 for innuendo
Summary: In a perfect world, Aiden would be with Ashley and Spencer and drama just wouldn't exist.
A/N: Written for </a></a>tamingthemuse prompt # 82- Utopia, This is my first SON fic so be gentle with me *grin*

"Morning."

Aiden opens his eyes to find Ashley with that camera again. She looks so completely innocent that he feels nervous suddenly and races to the bathroom. Sure enough "Ashley's girl" is scribbled across his forehead.

He walks outside to see her with a smirk on her face.

Honestly, tackling her is the only thing to do in a situation like this. Aiden waits until she squeals her defeat before he kisses her. She feels perfect against him and he wishes that it was like that for her too.

"Good morning." He finally responds.

-------------------------

It feels wrong when they hold hands and walk down the hallway. In that completely right way.

Aiden laughs to himself. Of course it would be like that. When has anything with Ashley ever been simple? Even before Spencer and the drama that followed. Like that time Ashley dated her. Or the time he almost did. He thinks he should be able to hate her, be mad at her- at both of them for that matter, but he can't. He loves Spencer too. She gets him in a way that's new and not filled with tragedy. She bonds with him because she wants to, not because she needs to.

See? Anything but simple.

In a perfect world, the three of them would just date each other. Just cut the drama out and God knows that's what his libido wants. Ash's too, if the way her eyes focus on her "best friend" is any indication.

But it's not perfect. So instead they have this. Three relationships melded into two people. The only time everything fits is when they're alone together, sharing things that they know they couldn't tell anyone else. A part of him feels victorious to have that part of Ashley just for him.

He could leave but he knows he won't. He's too selfish for that and Ash is too lonely to let him go.

"See you later?" Ashley looks at him and smiles.

"Yeah." For a moment things are as they were back then. He feels the urge to kiss her and hold his hand over the baby that's no longer there.

"Ash." Spencer runs up to the two of them and instantly Ashley's fingers are out of his hands and into hers. "Hey Aiden."

He waves a greeting, kisses them both on their cheek and heads off to a class he's already late to.

---------------

"You're in love with both of them," Kyla sagely informs him during drama class.

"Are you saying this as Ash's sister or my ex-girlfriend?" Aiden questions her with an eyebrow raised.

Kyla grins and smacks him across the chest. "I'm telling you as the friend whose heart you just happened to have broken when you left me for my sister."

"I love Ash." Aiden says.

'Trust me, I know that more than anyone."Kyla says and Aiden ducks his head at the memory of her finding out that he still loved Ashley on prom night. "But that doesn't mean that you don't have something for Spence."

She quiets down as their teacher passes them, and presses up against him, eyes wide and innocent. He's about to comment when he realizes that that's in the script.

"Just tell them." She whispers before kissing him.

Aiden would revise his utopia to include this too but that would be too weird. Even for him. Besides, Kyla might not be into making out with her sister just for his twisted dreams (Even if it does give Ashley a chance to see what he meant by that tongue thing that Kyla does).

She hits him on the chest as she pulls away. "Don't even think it."

"Too late." He grins and doesn't even duck when she attacks him with glitter.

------------------------

He walks up behind Ashely and Spencer without either girl noticing him. Their heads are bent together and they're lost in their own little world.

"Hey. You ladies aren't planning on running away together again are you?"

Ashley grins up to him. "Not without my chauffeur." She pulls him for a kiss but turns away when she sees Spencer getting up. "You heading home?"

"Yeah," Spencer says as she shifts from one foot to the other.

It's on the tip of Aiden's tongue to tell her to stay, or better yet to come home with them so that they can finally figure things out-

"Call me when you get home okay?"

-but he can't. The problem with utopia is that eventually you have to face reality, and the reality of it is getting their feelings out there will just cause more issues, more drama.

And Aiden is scared to be left alone when dust settles.

Spencer looks at him as if his thoughts are written on his face but nods anyway. Ashley watches as she leaves before turning to him. "I'm lucky to have you, you know?"

"Yeah, I am pretty awesome." The stand up together and Aiden can't help but think that for having almost everything that he wants, things are pretty perfect.

FIC: Running Up That Hill [South of Nowhere, Spencer/Ashley]

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 08:04:59 GMT

Title: Running Up That Hill
Author: Jengrrrl
Fandom: South of Nowhere
Rating: adult
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: What if Ashley had never returned from her trip to Europe? AU
Words: 2,878
Date: January 18, 2008

Running Up That Hill

2 drabbles...

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 05:48:34 GMT

I did a drabble challenge and they're finally all posted...

Author: Sydney Redfield
Rating: I'm not gonna bother rating them all. They're G all the way up through R.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: Nothing much in the way of spoilers for anything (at least not from my perspective) but if you see some, I apologize in advance.

Drabbles of interest:

2 | South of Nowhere [Spencer/Ashley]

[<a href="http://sinandmisery.livejournal.com">link to journal to see the list of cuts</a> | <a href="http://sinandmisery.livejournal.com/12769.html">direct link to see behind the cut</a>]

The After Party (Spencer/Ashley) NC-17

Tue, 25 Dec 2007 00:10:49 GMT

Title: The After Party
Author: paperbackbandit
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Spencer/Ashley
Summary: What happens immediately after Spencer arrives on Ashley's doorstep
Spoilers/Warnings: Spoilers for the finale of 3A. Mild NC-17. You've been warned.

I blindly stumble into the foyer behind her. She’s naked. She came to my apartment, naked. She’s walking towards my bedroom, naked.

Can you blame the grin on my face?

Can you blame me for taking my clothes off in the hallway?

I’m going to let her do whatever she wants, anywhere she wants, for as long as she wants. I don’t care.

Are you serious?

Glen is not calling me right now.

I throw the cell phone to the couch, toss my cami on top of it, reach around my back to unhook my bra, adding it to the pile. My hairtie breaks off in my hands as I hurriedly shake out my hair.

I’m untying my boy shorts, frustrated by the developing knot. I’m trying to pull them down my hips, damning the knot, racing around the corner into my bedroom, where she’s already draped across my sheets, her head on my pillow, her eyes eager, her lips curled up into a smile.

“C’mere, Ash,” she whispers, sitting up so her hair falls over her shoulder. “Let me do that.”

I stumble over to her, my hands still struggling to get my pants off, but slowing down as I realize she wants to do it for me. I kneel on the bed, straddling one of her legs. She slides further down, closer to my body, and reaches up to still my hands. She doesn’t even look at the knot, and I can’t take my eyes from hers. In seconds, I feel her fingertips sliding my shorts down as heat slides up my body.

I shift my weight so the pants fall onto the floor. Her hands run up my sides, her body lies back, and pulls mine to cover her. I can finally dip my head down to kiss her for the first time since she dropped that trench coat.

What was it? Thirty seconds ago? Sixty? Feels like hours, and my lips and my tongue dance with hers like it’s been years.

Her hands can’t decide whether to grip my head or my shoulders or my waist, but her body knows it wants mine pressed up against hers. I can already feel the sweat pooling between us and I know I’m soon going to be dripping in more ways than one.

She finally breaks our kisses to turn her face slightly so I can move down her jawline, down her neck. She breathes into my ear, “Who keeps blowing up your phone?” and between kissing her collarbone and trying to tune out the muffled ringtone, I growl into her bronzed skin, “Your damn brother.”

A short “Ha” escapes from her chest and she finishes with, “He’s probably calling about your damn sister.” A hand finds its way back into my curls, her lips back to mine. Her hands decide on a final destination and my body stills in anticipation while they slide down my waist.

“Remind me to kill them both in the morning,” she purrs into my ear as her fingers find their desired location. The rush of breath escaping my lips makes me miss her words.

I touch my forehead to hers, steadying the upper half of my body over the rocking, grinding, aching lower half. My eyes stay closed as I ask her to repeat what she said.

“I said, ‘God, I’ve missed you.’” And I pry my eyes open to see that hers have probably never left my face. I begrudgingly slow myself down, pull my head from hers, and her hand reaches up to my face, cups my cheek, eyebrows drawn together, asking what’s wrong. I shake my head slowly, and I know my hips tell her I still want this, I still want her.

I just need to know why.

I don’t need to ask; she can read my eyes like a paperback novel. She leans up to kiss me, accidentally sliding deeper, rolling my eyes back. My lips still find hers and she kisses me deeply, her hand holding my neck steady. When she breaks away to kiss my cheek, kiss my earlobe, she curls the fingers on her other hand and says, “Because I’m still in love with you, Ashley Davies.”

When my world has stopped spinning, and I can finally see straight enough to look into her eyes, I can see her words were the truth. She does still love me; she’s still in love with me.

“Spencer,” I say, stopping her hand from brushing the whispys from my forehead. “Not that I didn’t appreciate the gesture, but you didn’t have to show up at my doorstep naked to tell me you loved me.”

She laughed. “True, but, you have to admit it did get my point across.” I blushed in both embarrassment and pleasure; her warm lips kissed the rosiest point on my cheek. “I wanted to tell you in person, Ash. And I just missed being with you, like that, like this, like we were when I first moved here, when I first fell in love with you. I just wanted all of that back.”

“Did you get what you wanted?” I asked, hesitantly.

“Yes, Ashley. Yes, I did.” I felt relief wash over me, and I pulled her tighter to me, tangling myself into her arms.

Oh, trenchcoats…

FIC: Deep Honey (shout it) [South of Nowhere] (Spencer/Ashley)

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 21:30:03 GMT

“Deep Honey (shout it)” by Jengrrrl
[South of Nowhere] (Spencer/Ashley)
“So, today is World Orgasm Day…”
1453 words
adult

Deep Honey (shout it)

Fake PG-13

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 22:09:16 GMT

Title: Fake
Author: BwayElla
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Aiden/Ashley Spencer/Ashley
Summary: I'm no good at summaries just read
Spoilers/Warnings: sex refrences

Lying there several things pass through your mind. Your formerly innocent, clean mind. You watch his bare back become covered by the polo shirt he had walked into the party wearing. You wrapped the plain white sheet tighter around yourself. The thin lining feels like your only protection from the cold room and the fear swirling around like an invisible whirlwind.

He still hasn’t said anything and you can’t seem to get any words out. Your mouth is dry and your head is spinning making it almost impossible for you to remember your own name, let alone form sentences.

He is sitting on the edge of the bed now; his now fully clothed back still facing you. The silence -the antagonizingly empty- silence is eating away at your insides but you can’t force yourself to speak. His usually neat black hair is messy and seems to refuse to flatten no matter how many times he runs his hand through his hair.

You don’t know what to think.

You don’t know whether to feel sad, or happy, or maybe even…relieved. It wasn’t what you thought it was going to be. You love him. Don’t you? And your first time is supposed to be with someone you love. So why did it feel so incredibly wrong?

You wonder what he is thinking. Was he experiencing the same doubt that you are? You are jerked out of your thoughts when he rises up from the bed and walks towards the bedroom door. You can feel more than hear the base that is rising up from the living room door.

You can’t bring yourself to stop him. He opens the door and steps out into the hallway. Someone screams from downstairs but you barely hear it.

He turns around and you can’t be sure but you think you see remorse sparkling in his green eyes before he slams the door shut on your face.

You open the door to your house, one of your perfectly manicured nails scratches against the wood surface and breaks, but you honestly could care less. As you enter your abode you can’t help but feel tainted and –compared to the perfect wallpapered walls and the people who live inside them- you are. You don’t feel worthy enough to be in this house with it’s perfect floors and perfect family.

You lean against the wooden door and stare around the main hallway, the night passing through your head. It was the right ting to do, so why the hell is all of this doubt still here. The perfect walls seem to be getting closer together and breathing is becoming an alarming issue. You reach up a shaking hand to wrap around your neck and your eyes widen as you watch them get even closer.

Something warm trickles down your hand and lands on your white blouse. You look down and are surprised to see a streak of red on the blouse. As you look at the blouse you come to the realization that you are the red. You are tainting this perfectly white blouse.

You can’t stay here. You have to get out.

Swinging the door behind you open you dash out into the chilly night air; clutching your bleeding nail bed. Hurriedly you scamper down the streets, abandoning your car far behind. You begin to run faster then you ever have before.

Finally, you end up in front of another door and you raise an uncertain hand to knock on it. The door opens and two groggy green eyes observe you for a moment before widening in shock.

“Chica! What happened to you?”

You wonder what she is referring to. Is it your messed up hair, your ruined blouse, or the twinkle in your eye that suggests that you have done un-Godly things tonight. Whatever it is you can only nod to answer her question.

She reaches out a hand to offer you inside and you gladly take it, a wave of relief washing through your body.

“Come on babe. Let’s get you cleaned up."

When She Loved Me (Spencer/Ashley, R)

Sat, 17 Nov 2007 09:09:17 GMT

Title: When She Loved Me
Author: rusty_tiffany
Pairing: Spencer/Ashley
Rating: R, for sex and some language
Word Count: 3,386
Disclaimer: Tom Lynch's, not mine, although I wish they were. lyrics belong to Disney and Pixar or someone else who isn't me.
Summary: She was my world; my best friend, my lover, my soulmate, my everything. And I lost her. slightly AU.

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour we spent together

Lives within my heart

Sophomore year of college, I took a psych course. I somehow completed most of the required courses for the year, so I had the chance to take a few more electives than normal, and I chose psychology. I don’t really know why I picked it, there were tons of other available options, but I guess part of me had hoped that I’d learn something that would help me make sense of the events of the last three years of my life.

We were studying loss and regret and the effects they can have on a person’s psyche. We were assigned a paper asking us to identify the one thing we regret most in our lives and discuss how it has affected us. Most people seemed to have somewhat of a difficult time deciding on what event to write about, but not me. I knew exactly what I was going to write about. It was an easy decision really; I had been thinking about it since I started the class. Everything we studied reminded me of it. It had happened over a year ago, but it was fresh in my mind and in my heart as though it had been only a few days. My greatest regret was my greatest heartbreak: losing the love of my life.

People find it hard to believe that we could have been so serious about each other and so deeply and passionately in love when we were so young, but what we had was more real than many of the “adult” relationships we grew up around. She was my world; my best friend, my lover, my soulmate, my everything. And I lost her.

And when she was sad

I was there to dry her tears

And when she was happy so was I

When she loved me

We’d been through so much together, both good and bad. I held her as she broke down and cried when her dad died, and I was there by her side celebrating with her when she was offered the chance to record an album, first together with Kyla singing their dad’s hits, then a few months later when she did her own solo album, filled with her own songs. We leaned on each other for support, and we shared each other’s joy. Neither of us would have had the strength to endure the hardships we were faced with alone, and even our happiest moments wouldn’t have been as perfect if we hadn’t experienced them together.

Through the summer and the fall

We had each other that was all

Just she and I together

Like it was meant to be

And when she was lonely

I was there to comfort her

And I knew that she loved me

For two years we spent almost every waking moment together, and on the rare occasions that we were forced to be apart, we kept in close contact by spending hours on the phone. I spent more time at her house than I did at my own; her mom was rarely around, and Kyla respected our privacy by going out often, or, if she was home, staying in her room. The three of us did hang out sometimes, along with Madison, but she understood that we usually just wanted to be with each other and left us alone. We were inseparable, and we liked it that way. We were young, happy and in love, and nothing could stop us from being together.

So the years went by

I stayed the same

But she began to drift away

I was left alone

Still I waited for the day

When she’d say I will always love you

I never loved anyone the way I loved her. She was everything to me, and I truly thought we would be together forever. She seemed to feel the same way, at least until her music career started taking off, right after our high school graduation. I was so proud of her for achieving her dream, and she was happier than I’d seen her in a long time, almost since before her father died. We managed to make it work for a while, all through the recording and release of her album and the subsequent frenzy the country went into over her. We even survived her first national tour. It was the second tour that our problems began.

She would be gone for weeks at a time, and I couldn’t go with her like I had the first time because I was starting college. At first, she would come back every chance she got, and we would talk constantly, running up our phone bills filling in the details of our everyday lives so neither of us felt like we were missing out. But as time passed, her visits came more sporadically, and our phone conversations became shorter and less frequent. She often sounded distracted, and many times I overheard her flirting with various members of her band and her numerous groupies. I tried to convince myself that it would all be okay again when she got home from the tour, but the date of her return kept getting pushed off more and more, and then came the world tour.

It was exactly like the national tour, only ten times worse. Not only was she gone for even longer periods of time, but with the time difference, her hectic schedule and my own work, we were reduced to talking only a couple times a month, and only for a few minutes each time. I missed her terribly, but I knew how happy she was being on tour and singing her songs, and I wasn’t going to stand in her way. As in love with her as I was, I finally had to accept that she was gone.

The next time we spoke, I told her to stop calling so I could attempt to get over and move on with my life. It killed me to break up with her, but it hurt too much to be alone and waiting for her, and I couldn’t do it anymore. She told me she was sorry that it had come to this and that she never meant to hurt me, but that she understood, and she would respect my wishes.

I didn’t go out much after that, although Aiden and Madison tried their hardest to get me out of my room and go clubbing with them. Chelsea was off at art school in Europe, and while we did keep in touch, she had her own life there, and didn’t come home often. Kyla had gone off to New York for college, and usually came to visit a few times a year, but she spent most of her time in the city.

I tried dating other girls, but I kept catching myself comparing them to her and they never matched up, so I gave up. A few of the girls were actually really cool and under different circumstances something might have developed between us, but my heart belonged to someone else, no matter how hard I tried to forget her. I still felt a surge of pride whenever she was on TV or a magazine cover, or when I overheard random people talking about how hot and talented she was. She was still the first person I wanted to call when something good happened, and the first person I wanted to turn to for comfort when I was having a rough time. I did my best to move one, but a part of me still longed to be with her, for everything to be like it was in high school.

Lonely and forgotten

Never thought she’d look my way

She smiled at me and held me

Just like she used to do

Like she loved me

When she loved me

I tivo’d every single interview she did and award show appearance she made, and kept every magazine that mentioned her for an entire year. I missed her every minute of every day, even though it was clear that she had moved on. There were constant rumors about her and this actress, or her and that singer, and she always has some gorgeous girl on her arm on the red carpet. As much as I wished that she would come back to me and that we could be together again, I knew it was a hopeless dream. She was living her dream, and didn’t have to deal with school, or parents, or commitment; why would she ever come back?

About two weeks after writing that paper, I was sitting in the living room of the off-campus apartment I shared with Madison and Aiden, watching her interview with Ellen from the day before that I had taped. Aiden had a date, and Madison was off at some party her sorority was hosting. She’d decided at the beginning of the year that she would much rather live with me and Aiden than try to survive 120 other girls all living together and PMSing at the same time. Dealing with all that petty bullshit girls put each other through was not something worthy of her time and energy, she’d said. She had really grown up since high school.

I was brooding on the couch in my pajamas, eating the remaining pint of Ben and Jerry’s left over from last weekend when Madison and I had a girl’s night in, complete with ice cream, nail polish and chick flicks, when I heard a soft knock at the door. I thought I had imagined it, so I ignored it, but then I heard it again a few seconds later. I paused the TV and got up to answer it, clueless as to who was on the other side.

As I opened the door and saw who was standing there, my breath caught in my throat, rendering me speechless. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing; standing in front of me was none other than the one person I loved more than anything in the world: Ashley Davies.

I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t breathe; all I could do was stand there frozen with my jaw dropped. She looked tired, and the chocolate-colored eyes that I loved to stare into for hours on end were rimmed with red, as though she had been crying. She gave me a weak smile and asked if she could come in. I was still in shock, but I stepped away from the door to let her pass. She didn’t sit down, just stood facing the couch with her back to me. I was about to ask what she was doing in my living room when we hadn’t spoken in over a year when she turned towards me and started speaking.

“You’re probably wondering what the hell I’m doing here, when we’ve been broken up for a year and it was my fault in the first place. It’s a long story, but you deserve to know the truth, especially after the way I treated you.

“When I left for the second tour, I never intended to end our relationship. I was weak, and I got caught up in the glamorous rockstar life I thought I wanted. I would go out partying and get drunk or high and wake up next to someone I barely knew, then leave before they woke up to avoid dealing with the inevitably awkward situation. The night you broke up with me, I went out with my band, got completely shit-faced, and hooked up with about six different people, trying to find that something I was missing, although at the time I hadn’t yet figured out what it was exactly.

“I tried to forget about you by fooling around with other girls, but they never matched up. No one understood me in the way that you did, no one cared about me or took care of me like you did. In the end, they all just wanted to be able to say they fucked Ashley Davies. They were all fake, and none of them meant anything to me.

“I started seeing you everywhere I went, picturing your face every time I closed my eyes, hearing your voice every time I tried to write a song. I finally realized that it was you that was missing from my life, but I knew I’d screwed up and hurt you and I didn’t know if you would want to see me or even hear from me. Hell, for all I knew, you had moved on and were happily in love with someone new. I threw myself into my music to avoid dealing with the pain of losing you. It was working too, until yesterday when I went on Ellen. You couldn’t tell how messed up I was from the televised interview, but I spent three hours with her after the show, crying and finally talking about everything I’d been bottling up inside for the past year and a half. She was amazing; she managed to calm me down, and told me that if I was serious about wanting to fix things between us, then I would have to come talk to you, in person, and show you just how pathetic and fucked up I really am. She said I’d have to beg for forgiveness, and just hope that some part of you still cares enough about me to give me a second chance, even though I don’t deserve it.

“So here I am, begging you to take me back. I’m a wreck without you, and I’ve regretted how I acted every single day. I miss you more than you can imagine. I love you Spencer Carlin, and I will never love anyone the way I love you. If you let me, I swear I will do everything in my power to protect you and make you happy, and I will never do anything to hurt you ever again, because you are the most important thing in the world to me. Please, I’m begging you. I love you, I miss you, and I’m sorry. I’m so, so, incredibly sorry.”

Our eyes met, and she held my gaze for a moment, searching for a clue as to what I was thinking. I was still so stunned that she was even there, standing in front of me after so long, saying everything I’d been longing to hear that I just stood there, dumbfounded and mute. When I didn’t respond, she turned away, the tears glistening in her eyes threatening to spill, and started moving towards the door.

It took me until her hand was on the doorknob to snap out of my trance. I had been pining for this girl for a year and a half, and here I was, about to blow my shot at another chance with her. I reached out and grasped her hand just as she was opening the door to leave, a familiar rush flowing through my body at the contact. She looked down as our clasped hands, then up at me, her eyes full of questions and hope. I stared back at her, and hidden behind all the masks and lies and pain and confusion, I saw fear and love, and in that moment I knew every word she said was true.

I stepped forward and pressed my lips against hers for the first time in eighteen months. It took her a moment to register what was happening, but then she returned the kiss with all the passion and desperation I was feeling. My mouth moved over hers, tasting the cherry lip gloss she had borrowed after a particularly memorable day we had spent ditching school to go to the beach. As I felt her tongue pressed gently against my lips asking for permission to enter, I felt a jolt of electricity shoot through my body and settle between my legs. Air was beginning to become an issue, but I didn’t care; I never wanted to stop kissing her.

I was so wrapped up in her I didn’t realize that we had moved until I felt the couch hit my legs and we fell back onto it, our mouths never breaking contact. Her thigh found its way between mine and she pressed down, sending waves of pleasure through me. I moaned into the kiss, and felt her press herself against my own thigh, trying to alleviate some of the pressure. I could feel the heat emanating from her center, and knew that she could feel the same coming from me. I felt her hand slide under my shirt and across my stomach, pushing my shirt up in the process. Her touch was light, almost teasing, and it left a trail of goose bumps on my skin.

Our kiss finally broke when I arched into her, unable to restrain myself any longer, desperate for more contact. She bent her head and moved to my neck, sucking and biting and branding me with a small cluster of purple bruises, and brought her hand up to cup my breast. I raked my fingers through her dark tresses and pulled her head up so I could reclaim her sweet addictive mouth. Her hand worked its way down my body slowly and tantalizingly, inching closer to the place I so desperately needed her to touch me.

She stopped suddenly and pulled away, her hand hovering millimeters over the source of my heat. I opened my eyes to see her grinning wickedly down at me, as she fingered the waistband of my pants. Rather than cave and let her win, I decided to give her a taste of her own medicine, to subject her to her own delicious torture. I slid my hands down her thighs, squeezed her ass and thrust my knee against her, causing her eyes to flutter closed as she groaned at the sensation. She rocked against me a few times before opening her eyes and staring into mine, her eyes dark with arousal and a look of lust etched across her face. She pulled me roughly towards her and kissed me hard, pouring every ounce of passion and desire she was feeling into it, and I returned the kiss with equal fervor.

Without thinking, our hands moved down and we slid into each other simultaneously, quickly establishing a rhythm. We moved together, our fingers working expertly, touching all the right places and knowing exactly what to do to get the other off. Out mouths continued dueling, tongues fighting for dominance, kissing and sucking and biting as the fires within us grew and we got closer and closer to the edge. I could feel myself beginning to lose control as I lost myself in her and the sensations she was igniting in me, so I thrust harder and faster into her, trying to spark in her the same things I was feeling.

After what seemed like an eternity, I felt her walls clench tightly around my fingers. I didn’t let up, and she cried out in pleasure as her orgasm hit, hard. The image of her perfect tanned and toned body glistening with sweat and shaking as she rode it out was enough to trigger my own release, and I came hard, moaning her name.

We laid together on the couch for some time afterwards, not speaking, just enjoying the feeling of our spent bodies pressed together and listening as out breathing fell into matching patterns. After a few minutes I looked up at her and saw her looking back at me, her eyes showing nothing but pure love and satisfied bliss. I leaned in and kissed her, softly and lovingly.

“Thank you. For coming back.”

She smiled and shrugged. “You’re worth it.”

I smiled back and kissed her again. “I love you, Ashley Davies. I always have, and I always will.”

She pressed her forehead against mine and rubbed our noses together. “I love you too, Spence. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m never letting you go.”

We kissed again, then cuddled together and drifted off to sleep, utterly content.

When somebody loved me

Everything was beautiful

Every hour we spent together

Lives within my heart

When she loved me

The Sweet to My Mean (South of Nowhere, Spencer/Ashley, PG)

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 16:42:51 GMT

Title: The Sweet to My Mean
Author: alittlemorebite
Fandom: South of Nowhere
Pairing: Spencer/Ashley
Rating: PG
Summary: Spencer bakes, works on a crossword puzzle and does yoga.

( The Sweet to My Mean )

Two Poems (PG-13 for both)

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 05:42:53 GMT

Title: First Time
Author: rusty_tiffany
Pairing: Spencer/Ashley
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 121
Disclaimer: Tom Lynch's, not mine. although I wish they were
Summary: Spencer muses about her first time
Spoilers/Warnings: season 1, I guess, but nothing really

Title: You and Me
Author: rusty_tiffany
Pairing: Spencer/Ashley
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 73
Disclaimer: Tom Lynch's, not mine
Summary: A night with Spashley
Spoilers/Warnings: none

My first time-

not that great.

I expected so much more

than what it was.

I thought I was in love with him

turns out I was wrong.

It was supposed to be

Perfect

But nothing ever is.

He was young and unexperienced

It was quick

over almost before it began

and I cried.

My first time-

absolutely amazing.

I had dreamed it so many times

but the real thing surpassed my fantasies,

I knew I was in love with her

turns out she loved me too.

It was supposed to be

Perfect

And it couldn’t have been more.

She was older and more experienced

It was gentle, sweet, hot, fun, sensual

all at the same time

and I cried.

You and me

here

together.

Mouths pressed against each other

tongues fighting for dominance.

Hands roaming

touching and feeling every inch of skin

sliding under shirts

bras unhooked

tops discarded

thrown away carelessly.

Warm bodies pressed together

stomach to stomach

breast to breast

mouth to mouth.

Hands slide lower

bottoms removed

moving faster

tongues dueling

breathing quickens

bodies writhing

coming together.

Perfection.

Sweet kisses

loving touches

satisfied sleep.

You and me

here

together.

Une Leçon en Idioma (Spencer/Ashley, R)

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 10:18:46 GMT

Title: Une Leçon en Idioma
Author: rusty_tiffany
Pairing: Spencer/Ashley
Rating: R, for sex and some language
Word Count: 787
Disclaimer: Tom Lynch's, not mine. and the story was inspired by sugarmomma's Lección, and the continuation, Sin Lengua, although it is completely different
Summary: Sometimes there are better things to do than Spanish homework
Spoilers/Warnings: none, really. there are random lines in other languages, but even if you don't speak the language it isn't too hard to piece together what they mean.

Title: Une Leçon en Idioma
Pairing: Spencer/Ashley
Rating: R, for sex and some language.
Word Count: 787
Disclaimer: Tom Lynch's, not mine. and the story was inspired by sugarmomma's Lección, and the continuation, Sin Lengua, although it is completely different.
and yes, I know the title is in two different languages, it was intentional. and I know it switches at the end, that was intentional too.
Summary: Sometimes there are better things to do than Spanish homework

“This is retarded.”

Spencer looked up from her work and saw Ashley throwing her pencil down in frustration. She smiled; Ashley was adorable when she was pouting. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“I hate my Spanish teacher. She purposely assigns the stupidest homework that doesn’t teach anything or even show that we understand the stuff, and then gives me detention when I don’t do it. Bitch. I should have taken French with you. You speaking French is muy caliente. Tal excitamiento.”

Spencer laughed. “It is, is it? Well, quand tu parles l'espagnol je deviens excitée. So don’t quit Spanish anytime soon. C’est très bandant.”

Ashley crawled over to the edge of her bed so her face was only centimeters away from her girlfriend’s. “Dios mio, eres tan sexy.” She leaned forward and pressed their lips together, tasting the strawberry lip gloss she knew Spencer only wore for her benefit. They kissed passionately for long moments, combining the mysterious allure of Spencer’s French and the playful sexiness of Ashley’s Spanish, before finally pulling away for air. Ashley looked at Spencer, her eyes dark with desire and breathing hard. “Fuck homework. Te quiero. Now.”

Spencer reached up and kissed Ashley hard, causing her to lose her balance and fall back against the bed, pulling Spencer down on top of her. This kiss was different; filled with desperation, their mouths feeding hungrily off each other, their tongues battling for dominance. Clothes were quickly discarded and cast aside without a second thought. Ashley flipped them over so she was on top and ran her hand lightly along Spencer’s abdomen and thighs, never touching the other girl where she needed it most. Spencer groaned and arched against Ashley, trying to create enough friction to alleviate the growing ache between her legs. Ashley ignored her, and continued with her delicious torture. She bowed her head to Spencer’s chest and proceeded to lick and suck and bite until Spencer couldn’t take it anymore. She flipped Ashley onto her back, reversing their positions, her blonde hair falling in her face, her breathing ragged, her eyes burning with passion. She spoke in a low, raspy tone that sent a jolt of arousal through Ashley.

“Fais-moi l’amour, Ash.”

Ashley didn’t need to be told twice. She rolled them over again, pressing her thigh against Spencer, causing her to cry out in pleasure. Ashley didn’t waste any more time, thrusting her fingers into the blonde and moving down to kiss her neck. Spencer immediately responded, her hips quickly matching the rhythm of Ashley's expert fingers. It didn’t take long before Spencer came, hard, with cries of “mon dieu” and “fuck, Ashley” echoing through the room. Ashley leaned over and kissed her softly, her breathing returning to normal as she recovered.

As much as Ashley loved seeing Spencer in this just-fucked state, her perfect body spent and radiant, she was still incredibly turned on and desperate for a release. She unconsciously started rubbing herself against Spencer’s thigh, hoping the contact would be enough to assuage the throbbing between her thighs. Spencer saw this, and decided to help her girlfriend out a little. She rolled over on top of Ashley, keeping her knee in place and pushed up against, creating more pressure.

Ashley moaned in pleasure. “Oh, god, Spence. Te necesito. Please. God, tu es asombra.”

Spencer didn’t hesitate. ‘Anything for you, ma chérie”

She lightly pulled on the brunette’s bottom lip with her teeth, then worked her way down her smooth, tanned body, stopping periodically to mark her territory, until she reached her center. She paused for a second and looked up at Ashley, their eyes locking and telling each other everything they were feeling. Spencer smiled, then moved her head down and tasted Ashley, never looking away from the other girl’s beautiful face. They maintained eye contact until Spencer slid her fingers into Ashley and Ashley couldn’t last any longer. Her back arched off the bed and her eyes fluttered shut involuntarily as she came, moaning “holy fuck” and “god, Spencer” and shuddering hard while Spencer licked her clean. When she felt Ashley begin to unclench, Spencer moved out from between her legs and crawled up to kiss her. Ashley moaned softly when she tasted herself on Spencer’s lips, and pulled the girl closer to her.

Just as she was about to fall asleep, Spencer moved her head and whispered into Ashley’s ear, “Eres mi todo, te amo para siempre.”

Ashley smiled, cuddled closer to Spencer and replied, “Je suis à toi pour toujours, je t’adore de tout mon cœur.”

As she drifted off to sleep, Ashley couldn’t help but think that her Spanish teacher really was an idiot; there were clearly much more effective ways to learn a new language.

FIC: How Her Heart Behaves [South of Nowhere] (Spencer/Ashley, teen)

Fri, 12 Oct 2007 22:21:46 GMT

Title: How Her Heart Behaves
Author: Jengrrrl
Fandom: South of Nowhere
Rating: teen, for near sex and nudity
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary: Coda to the (half) season finale. "It’s been a weirdly long, exciting day for Spencer."
A/N: My attempt to rationalize what happens at the end of the finale. Title taken from Feist.
Words: 1323
Date: October 12, 2007

How Her Heart Behaves

fanfic reviews community

Thu, 11 Oct 2007 01:45:21 GMT

i have started a fanfic reviews community for everyone to post a review for their favorite fanfics. Please come check it out.

Fanfic_Reviews

fanfiction

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 23:56:31 GMT

Title: new beginning part 1
Author: foxglove
Pairing:Spencer/other
Rating : Pg for now
summary: Ashely rejects spencer at the end of season one

It had been a week since spencer had heard from Ashley. Aweek since Ashley told her she just wanted to be friends. Those words had broke Spencer Carlins heart. It was hard enough for her to admit she was gay, but then to have the objeact of her affections reject her. "Fine, ashley, you dont want me fine" she sadi to herself in he mirror brushing her lng blonde hair. this is La, there are plenty of single lesbians. Now where do I look she wonderd. Giving herself one more look, she grabbed her bag and lwent downstairs..

"hey dad, can you take me driving later, i need the practice for my teat on friday" she asked sitting down for breakfast. "Sure, honey" he said from behind his paper. her dad was the coolest she could talk with him about anything, but she was not as close with her mother. She looked at the time and left for school with her brothers Glen and clay

Sun, 30 Sep 2007 20:47:36 GMT

Title: Fairytale
Pairing: Spencer/Ashley
Summary: Companion piece to Spring Cleaning. Spencer grows up and even becomes a little bit empowered. Reviews welcome!
Disclaimer: Still don't own any of these characters.

Once upon a time, cheerleading made Spencer happy. No, better than happy- it made her feel invincible. She used to think it was the rush of performing, but that couldn’t explain her love of cheering even during practices with no audience. For a while, after learning about hormones and endorphins in health class, she wondered if she just loved the rush of endorphins her body made while cheering. That explanation, though, couldn’t explain why wearing her uniform made her feel so good. It was almost magical, like something out of a fairytale, how intoxicatingly happy she felt while cheering. Eventually, she gave up asking why she loved it and just accepted that it created a feeling beyond compare. Or at least, she’d thought it was beyond compare until she met Ashley.

Ashley somehow managed to turn cheerleading into an annoyance. How could the excitement she felt looking into a sea of screaming fans measure up to the breathless thrill she felt whenever she caught Ashley staring at her? How could the raw excitement of screaming out chants at the top of her lungs ever hope to top the way her stomach clenched and her ears burned whenever she said Ashley’s name? The feeling of her teammates hands lifting her above the crowd meant nothing compared to the feeling of Ashley’s hands on her skin. And that was all before Spencer even knew the constant, pleasurable rush that came with actually dating her.

Cheerleading had made her happy once, and then Ashley had come along and made her realize what happiness was. For a long time, Spencer didn’t even remember to miss cheerleading. She was too busy adjusting to life in L.A. and adjusting to being in love. When her mom asked, Spencer gave several logical, pragmatic answers as to why she didn’t think about trying out for the squad next year. The schools were harder in L.A., and she needed the extra time to do her homework; the girls just weren’t the same and were all mean, anorexic, and way too into drugs; not being on a team gave her more time to look into other hobbies. All of her excuses were valid and all of them were lies, because truth be told, Spencer simply didn’t care. Cheering had nothing to do with Ashley Davies and anything that kept her farther apart from Ashley Davies just didn’t make it onto her radar.

And then, Ashley left. She’d completely vanished, only she’d done it so slowly and thoroughly that Spencer only realized it when she’d reached out for Ashley and found her missing. It’s hard to realize someone is leaving when you can feel their head on your shoulder and see them smiling at you and hear them assuring you that everything’s fine, but Spencer should have known. She should have seen this whole thing with Aiden. If she was honest with herself, which she ironically so very rarely was these days, she had seen it. She’d felt Ashley pulling away and tried to focus on Ashley’s smile, Ashley’s kisses, anything other than the truth. She hid and she hid from the truth and tried to control her panic until she just couldn’t hide anymore. Prom made sure of that.

Looking back on it, a very, very dark part of her thought it almost funny how the very moment she thought she’d never be happy again, she was forced to realize her stupidity in thinking her happiness only existed through Ashley Davies. As she raced to the hospital that night, her only thought was of safety, of her family, of praying frantically and wordlessly that the people she loved would be ok. And when she saw Clay- when she saw his body lying on the gurney, his face twisted into a weird parody of a smile- she realized she never knew what being happy meant before because she hadn’t known what it meant to be so devastatingly destroyed.

That pain didn’t stop, either. It didn’t get any better after the funeral; it didn’t improve at all as Chelsea started to actually look pregnant; in fact, it seemed to get worse as the summer dragged on, especially when she saw letters addressed to Clay from different colleges trying to pique his interest. As she ached for her brother she remembered happiness, and tried to find it again, to prove to herself that it still existed. One day, when the house was empty, she’d gone out to the backyard to try some cheers. From the moment her hands clapped together, she knew it was useless. Spencer felt nothing, not even an echo of feeling as she forced her body through routines that once made her feel euphoric. As she shouted her way by memory through every junior high school and high school cheer she knew, Spencer could think of nothing but Ashley, and the way Ashley had made her realize how quickly things can change.

So she tried calling Ashley. She tried, and tried, and kept trying, stubbornly dialing the number until her call history showed nothing but Ashley’s name. Spencer knew from the moment her first call was ignored that Ashley would never call back, but she couldn’t help herself. She missed the way Ashley used to make her feel, and craved to hide from her world, the way she always did before, in the sound of Ashley’s voice. She wanted to fix her attention on her flawed and broken girlfriend because she was so very tired of her own flaws. But Ashley didn’t call back, and Spencer couldn’t avoid herself any longer. Unable to use happiness to hide anymore, she slowly, slowly began to listen to herself. It was surprising, the things she found as she began to accept her sadness. She learned so much that summer: how to set the table for four instead of five without crying; how to want to tell her Dad or Chelsea her thoughts or anecdotes instead of always only thinking of Ashley; and how she’d been sad before Clay died, and before Ashley left, and what it was that made her that way. In short, Spencer learned how to deal with unhappiness.

Or so she’d thought. It took one moment to look up and see Ashley, standing tiny and ashamed at King Hill high to make her realize that she still didn’t know what to do with bitterness, or anger, or betrayal. She fought with herself, equally angry about what Ashley had done and about how badly Spencer still wanted her. Months in Europe hadn’t helped Ashley much; she was too thin, too slouched, too obviously unhappy. And it would be so easy for Spencer to concentrate on that, to focus on Ashley’s pain and to really work to make her feel happy again. It’d be so easy to go back, so easy to hide again. When Ashley approached her in Chelsea’s studio, Spencer didn’t hear a single word she said. It didn’t matter whether Ashley chose Spencer or not, because it wasn’t about Spencer, it was never about Spencer. It’d be about Ashley’s pain and making Ashley feel better. The longer Ashley stood, slumped and broken before her, the more tempting the lie became until Spencer ran to it, ran to her, closing her eyes and taking Ashley into her hands, smoothing her pain away with her hands and her lips. Spencer ignored her anger, her internal arguments quieting as she focused on the feeling of Ashley’s hair threaded around her fingers and the sound of Ashley’s quick breathing. Every kiss, every touch forced Spencer’s awareness away from herself and into Ashley, into making Ashley respond, into making Ashley’s pain heal. The lie was almost complete when she heard Ashley’s smiling, happy voice.

It didn’t matter that her words were wrong. What mattered was that it forced Spencer to start thinking again, and the moment she started to think the lie was gone. She wasn’t healing Ashley, and she wasn’t helping herself. As Spencer stared at Ashley’s relieved smile, she thought about cheerleading, and how it had once left her feeling as hollow as she felt here and now, kneeling between Ashley’s legs. She thought about how when cheerleading had left her feeling like this, she’d walked away from it. And so Spencer took the lesson Ashley had taught her and she left, leaving Ashley’s brokenness behind.

Once upon a time, cheerleading had made Spencer happier than anything else in the world. Somewhere along the way, she’d lost that happiness. But it didn’t matter, she told herself as she drove home that night, back from Chelsea’s apartment. She’d find it again.

cross posted at http://community.livejournal.com/passion_perfect/

fic: The Power of Denial [Paula/Ashley]

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 17:25:20 GMT

Title: The Power of Denial
Fandom: South of Nowhere
Pairing: Paula Carlin/Ashley Davies (so wrong, I know)
Rating: NC-17 (sex, so don't read if you're underage)
Archiving: P&P is fine. All others please ask: bank_farter@yahoo.com
Summary: Just a short, morose fic about Paula, Ashley, and denial.
Authors Note: This was written for the femslash_today porn battle. The prompt was South of Nowhere, Ashley/Paula, Secret
Disclaimer: I don’t own South of Nowhere or the characters, and I'm not profiting from this.

There was a difference between homosexual orientation and homosexual behavior. Dr. Crawford had told Paula that, and she believed it.

Homosexual orientation was the notion that who you slept with became your identity. It was a delusion, a falsehood, although a certain subset of people—her own daughter included—had been misguided into thinking otherwise.

Homosexual behavior, on the other hand, was temporary. It was an action. A sin, sure, but, like any other sin, you could choose to stop doing it. It didn’t define you.

Paula found that thought comforting as she wrapped her thighs tighter around Ashley’s head, dug her heels into the younger woman’s back in a gesture that couldn’t be mistaken for anything other than faster, harder, please. And Ashley complied, running her impossibly warm, perfect tongue through slick folds and flicking it against Paula’s clit just right until fingers tangled in her hair, pulling her closer and then urging her away just as quickly.

When Paula watched Ashley dress, noticed how young she looked even though she was almost nineteen, she felt a momentary surge of guilt. She suppressed it just as quickly. It's a sin like any other, she told herself. You can stop at any time. You will.

Later that night, as she lay under Arthur—sweet, milquetoasty Arthur—she didn’t think about Ashley. She didn’t. The fact that the younger woman invaded her dreams, permeated her senses if she thought about the things they did for too long, was a secret that she kept even from herself.

I've never written in this fandom before, so comments are lovely.

x-posted at passion_perfect