Ryan clasped his book shut, contemplating the words he had just read. He thought about the way the passage of the novel in his hands had captured perfectly his current emotions and feelings. It caused him to think over and over about his relationship with Brendon, making him remember everything, running over the fights they’d been having more and more regularly, in his brain.

He breathed out a low sigh, glad of the fact he was alone. He wasn’t sure where Jon and Spencer were, but he knew Brendon would be wandering around after having stormed out of the bus during their latest screaming match. Ryan tried to remember who raised their voice first, what the reasoning was, and how it became so out of proportion. He couldn’t. This was the problem now. Everything relating to him and Brendon seemed pointless, trivial, completely not worth it.

They had always got on so well, been perfect for each other to tour with. Their contrasting personalities bringing something extra to each of them, but keeping the other in check, ‘under control’. They laughed together, ate together, snuggled together, slept together. But Ryan realised they were only really this perfect when something between them was mutual, whether it be a new favourite song, an inspired lyric, or a craving for chocolate. When they became entangled with each other, both boys opened their hearts to the other, allowed themselves to be comforted, joined together. But in reality, as soon as this moment passed, as soon as one piece of the puzzle changed shape, they no longer fit. They went back to being separate beings; lone entities on separate paths.

To anyone on the outside who witnessed the moments where they shared mind, heart and soul, they were like fireworks, burning brightly and explosively. It was thrilling and spectacular to watch how something so amazing and beautiful could be being created so effortlessly by two people.

But, of course, what they didn’t see was the explosions behind closed doors. The flare ups of tempers, sudden and frightening to all involved. Loud and obnoxious, dramatically tearing apart each other, tearing apart themselves, leaving what was once a perfectly spectacular display of love and affection, to be turned into a smouldering, toxic mess, leaving two boys in solitude.

This is what had happened for the last time today. An explosion of magnificent proportions had taken place, out of nowhere. Both bodies, standing opposite each other, throwing accusations and blame, causing the two travelling companions to move permanently into their own, separate orbits.

Ryan and his Sputnik Sweetheart had, for the last time, burned up and become nothing.

Yes, Ryan thought. That passage, that beautiful piece of prose which he had read and re-read made perfect sense within the context of his life. It summed up himself and Brendon better than he himself ever could have done. And with that Ryan lay his head back against the sofa, and closed his eyes, thinking over the words on the page, committing them to memory. 

‘And it came to me then. That we were wonderful travelling companions but in the end no more than lonely lumps of metal in their own separate orbits. From far off they looked like beautiful shooting stars, but in reality they're nothing more than prisons, where each of us is locked up alone, going nowhere. When the orbits of these two satellites of ours happened to cross paths, we could be together. Maybe even open our hearts to each other. But that was only for the briefest moment. In the next instant we'd be in absolute solitude. Until we burned up and became nothing.'