by magus_minor, 3
Challenge: Shark III
Title: Open Blade
Author: magus_minor
Summary: Sequel to Obvious Place
Rating: mature for various reasons, and I'd be obliged if you'd take this seriously.
Pairing: in a very messed up way, McShep
Spoilers: yes
Disclaimer: We do not own these characters. This is merely a hobby. We are making no money and no copyright infringement is intended.
Notes: How dark can you go? The Saga Continues. I couldn't go for complete dark, that would have been rapefic, and I don't think I could deal. So, here. Not quite as dark.



Open Blade


They're frozen, both of them. John because he's just blown himself out of the water so badly that nothing, nothing can ever hide again what he is and what he's done. Rodney? Shock, from the way all the color has leached from his face and for the first time John can remember, Rodney's face is expressionless.

He's not turned on anymore. Not even by the scar on Rodney's arm, though he can see it; Rodney hasn't put on his jacket again.

Rodney's eyes follow his, and he nods, as if to himself. Straightens a little, and John still can't read him at all. Either this is some emotion he's never seen on Rodney, or -

The thought strikes him between the eyes, and he shivers. What if Rodney has a knife, too?

But Rodney simply removes his hand from the touchpad, meeting John's eyes. He takes two steps toward John, leans forward on the bed, bracing himself on his arms. The scar is perfectly settled in John's line of sight. He swallows.

Rodney's calm. His voice is neutral, and John didn't even know that Rodney could do neutral.

"I take it you got off on that?"

It's too late to deny. "Yeah."

Rodney nods again as if another piece fits. "How long?"

Oh god, John thinks, writhing inside. "Since it happened."

Rodney's eyes widen, but that's his only reaction. "That good?"

John feels nausea rising up and suppresses it. Nods.

"It does make sense, I suppose," Rodney says contemplatively. "When you think about it."

John can't stand this anymore. Rodney's going to tell Elizabeth and she'll send him back to Earth, or to a space gate without a jumper, and John wishes Rodney would just get on with it. He makes as if to get up and feels himself slammed against the wall so hard his head makes a thunking noise.

Rodney holds him there, hand on his chin, not enough leverage if John really wants to get free, but it's already too late, John's hard again and his only thought is, don't let Rodney notice.

Rodney holds him, and his hand is sweaty and cold. John closes his eyes. He's so going down.

"Major. John." He doesn't move. "Open your eyes."

It's an order and who knew that this poster child for Ritalin could be so cool. John opens his eyes to an actual expression. Rodney has that look again, the one where something has hurt him and he'll never admit that.

"I'd like to know why me."

What to say to that. "I had the surveillance video. It just - got me hot." It's the long and the short of it. And he's hot again, from being pushed against the wall. But he knows enough to know that he can't get himself fixed.

Rodney nods again. "The hitting? You stopped by yourself."

"Didn't want to give myself away," John says, feeling tired. "Never could hit you really hard, either."

Rodney nods again, lets him go, and sits back, seeing John's erection and ignoring it. John moves back from the wall, and covers himself with his t-shirt.

Rodney watches him, still unnaturally calm. Something clicks in John's mind.

"You knew."

"No," Rodney says. "I knew someone wiped the surveillance from that day. It wasn't Grodin, it wasn't Elizabeth, it wasn't me. That left you as the only one with the codes. I found a record that it was copied while I was searching the protocols for the bomb trigger. Imagine my surprise." His mouth twists. "At first I figured you were looking for information on the Genii. Strategy and all that. I was going to ask you about it."

This is huge. Rodney knew he had the video and never said anything.

Rodney's leaning forward again. "Then I looked at it again. Only about an hour of video was copied. Now tell me, why can't you go pull the wings off flies like normal people?"

John can't help it; he laughs. Only Rodney.

Rodney sighs. "What the hell am I going to do with you?"

John's suddenly tired of it. "Well, how should I know? What do you want to do?"

Rodney rolls his eyes. "You know, this wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't flattered in a very strange way and if you quote me on that, I will deny it to my dying day."

John laughs again. "Rodney, has it occurred to you that that's almost as fucked up as me?"

He gets the disgruntled face. "Yes, as a matter of fact it has. So, let's look at this rationally. Will you stop this?"

He's earned honesty at least. "Only if you get rid of the video. Also, it'll probably bleed through at some point."

"The hitting? The Wraith-baiting?"

John nods. Thank god for Rodney, who is, on some level, just so wonderfully easy to deal with. "Sixty Genii all at once, seeing all of you tied up. Afghanistan."

Rodney nods. Again, John finds it easy to talk about this. Who would have known? "Classic sadism?"

"Uh, no, not really. More like violence oriented." Rodney snorts; John rolls his eyes at him. "Adrenaline, blood." He swallows, going into dangerous territory. "Humiliation. Power struggles."

Rodney shakes his head. "Why couldn't you have stuck with the flies?"

"That'd give the term flyboy a totally new meaning," John snarks back, and for a second, they're all right with the world.

Then Rodney gets up. "Keep the video. But I'm watching you. One slip, and I'll blow the whole thing wide open."

John nods. It's a reprieve at least. "You may have to. I've never been able to control it that well."

"Explains your issues," Rodney says, looks at the laptop and sighs. "Why couldn't you get off on my sheer brilliance?"

He leaves then, and John stares at the laptop. You can replace an addiction with another, he knows that. Maybe - if he tries? In the video, it's Rodney's face and voice that got him so hot. This might work.

He calls up the file, in the Fonts folder.

But what if it's not enough? What if he needs this again? What if without this the knife edge does show again?

John closes his eyes, and deletes the file. Fail or succeed. Blood or laughter.

Pain or Rodney.

He just hopes he's strong enough.

End.




Note: this ends the series as well. If someone requires a sequel, you have my full permission to write your own. But please, tell me if you do - I want to read it, too!