flubbercunt 8| ([info]elsolylaluna) wrote in [info]sex_debate,
@ 2006-12-01 18:43:00
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Definition of sex
Do you believe lesbians can have sex?

Personally, I believe they can, but I've met people who say that oral sex is not sex (completely separate rant there...if it's not, then why is sex in the name?), and I've also met people who say use of strapons, double dildoes, etc is, at best, mutual masturbation.

Oh hell, I'll ask this, too. Do you consider oral and anal to be sex? Can someone remain a virgin if they engage in sexual acts other than a penis penetrating a vagina?

ETA: *snort* I like how asking for opinions that may differ from my own is [info]stupid_freeworthy.
Let me make this clear, then. I believe lesbians have sex. I believe anal and oral are sex. I only wanted to see if anybody in this comm had a differing opinion. Is that clear?

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[info]closedingirl
2006-12-02 12:07 am UTC (link)
Oral and anal sex *are* sex in my opinion. You are not a virgin anymore after you engage in these practices. Yes, lesbians have sex.

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[info]elsolylaluna
2006-12-02 12:11 am UTC (link)
Oh good. I'm not crazy. :)

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[info]closedingirl
2006-12-02 12:13 am UTC (link)
Not at all. :)

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[info]creases
2006-12-02 12:23 am UTC (link)
My rule of thumb is, if you can get a sexually transmitted disease from it, it's sex enough to be sex.

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[info]_stasha
2006-12-02 12:25 am UTC (link)
Haha, I like that.

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[info]trialia
2006-12-02 09:09 pm UTC (link)
Excellent rule of thumb. *nods* I'd go with that.

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[info]mikkeneko
2006-12-04 10:27 am UTC (link)
Wait, so getting a blood transfusion is sex? OH MY GOD, I'VE BEEN GETTING LAID AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT. Unfair. D:

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[info]creases
2006-12-04 01:29 pm UTC (link)
hot vein on vein vamp sexxxxxxx

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[info]mollywobblez
2006-12-02 12:33 am UTC (link)
Okay, here's my take:

Yes, they are sex.

99% of people consider their SO to be cheating if they participate in the acts of oral or anal with someone besides their SO. If one can consider it cheating, why wouldn't it be considered sex?

I agree that the terms themselves lend us to find these acts sex.

Also, I do believe that lesbians have sex. It may not be the *conventional* practices, but it is still sex, nonetheless.

So, no, you aren't crazy! >.>

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[info]elsolylaluna
2006-12-02 01:38 am UTC (link)
As for your cheating point, I'd have to disagree. I would consider a make-out session (or any kissing aside from a quick peck) to be cheating, and that's nowhere near sex.

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[info]mollywobblez
2006-12-03 03:49 am UTC (link)
I didn't mean that oral and anal were all inclusive in regards to being considered cheating. However, if it is considered sex enough to have it in the name as well as considered sex enough to be cheating, wouldn't that only reinforce the idea that they are, indeed, sex?!

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[info]fnck
2006-12-02 01:15 am UTC (link)
Oral sex is sex, anal sex is sex, and using a strap-on/toy with a partner is sex.

It bugs me when people delude themselves into thinking that stuff isn't sex to rationalise stuff like cheating and virginity-loss.

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[info]lightfromlight
2006-12-02 06:50 pm UTC (link)
And the whole "anal isn't sex" concept.

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[info]happiestsadist
2006-12-02 01:53 am UTC (link)
Of course lesbians can have sex! Is gay (male) sex sex? Of course, yet there's no vajayjay involved. I consider oral, anal and PIV, as well as strap-ons and varying kinds of handjobs sex.

So on to the virginity question. Here's my opinion: I don't believe in virginity as such. For one thing, many girls don't have hymens, which used to be the be-all and end-all of whether she's a virgin. I know I popped mine by accident when I was a kid (totally nonsexual), and a lot of others have the same. Still more women don't lose their hymen after their first intercourse. So, it's not in the hymen. (Besides, guys don't have those.)

And as I said, the idea of PIV sex to be the only one is pretty stupidly heteronormative.

So yeah, no technical virgins, no matter what they tell themselves. And lesbian sex is sex.

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[info]lucretia_lenore
2006-12-02 09:39 pm UTC (link)
To an extent, I feel like the definition of losing one's virginity is a personal thing. To an extent, though. I'm not really sure quite where that line is, but it's there somewhere.

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[info]happiestsadist
2006-12-02 09:52 pm UTC (link)
Exactly, it's just such a varied, personal thing that I feel the term has no real meaning.

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[info]hefnersbunny
2006-12-27 02:56 am UTC (link)
i agree. i was raped when i was 15 but i don't consider it the loss of my virginity. it wasn't my "emotional" virginity, if that makes anys ense. lol

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[info]tovasshi
2006-12-02 02:24 am UTC (link)
Any sexual activity with another person that involves the exchange of fluids with a mucus membrane and sex organ, is sex.

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[info]gentlech
2006-12-02 09:50 am UTC (link)
Yep have to go with the, so far, majority on this. I basically go if it's being used for sexual pleasure between two or more people its sex -- if it's just for one then it's masturbation. Trying to limit to any specific group of sex acts seems to be plucking at straws to me.

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[info]butterfly269200
2006-12-02 12:12 pm UTC (link)
Any sexual act is sex (anal, oral, PIV).
On the virginity aspect, I don't think that virgintiy is lost without some form of penetration be it(aside from fingering, I group that in with masturbation). I also think that in women it is possible to have anal sex and still be a vaginal virgin, if that makes any sense.

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[info]two_stabs
2006-12-02 03:54 pm UTC (link)
'Do you consider oral and anal to be sex? Can someone remain a virgin if they engage in sexual acts other than a penis penetrating a vagina?'

Well, let me have sex with your mouth and ass and tell me how pure you feel afterwards.

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[info]danger0usbeans
2006-12-02 06:01 pm UTC (link)
My girlfriend and I had a fabulous time together last night. I'd love to know what we were doing if it wasn't sex.

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[info]scattywah
2006-12-02 06:18 pm UTC (link)
if they weren't sex, they wouldn't be called anal sex and oral sex.

But for some reason I do not apply this logic to phone sex.

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[info]en_particulier
2006-12-03 03:11 am UTC (link)
It is only sex is a Godfearing Christian man unenthusiastically lies atop an equally unenthusiastic, Godfearing Christian woman, inserts his underwhelming penis, thrusts half-assedly, ejaculates in a matter of seconds, and a child is produced in the process. Otherwise the act is a sin and you will pay for it...in HELL!

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[info]midnight__moon
2006-12-04 02:20 am UTC (link)
I believe that lesbians and gays can have sex. Though sex, by definition, is the entering of the penis into the vagina, I believe that sex is more of a psychological thing.

Because of our society the idea of sex for each specific sexual preference is different. Heterosexuals mostly believe that when a female and male engage in intercourse is sex, Lesbians believe that sex is oral, and gays believe that sex is anal. This all in a general sense though since everyone has their own opinions.

The question really comes about with heterosexuals because they can go all the way to oral sex and still believe themselves a virgin. Some people even believe that only having anal sex makes them a virgin. It's open to a lot of opinions since there are many options. To each his own.

Personally, being generally heterosexual, I believe that any penetration is sex. Oral to me is even more personal than sex is, but that may change with time but would still constitute one a virgin.

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