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tired

er...fic.

“Underneath the Underneath”

By: Enkidu

 

Rating: PG-13

 

Pairing: Kakashi+Sasuke, very, very minor Naruto+Sasuke

 

Warnings: Yaoi. OoC. Pervertedness. Some het. Weirdness.

 

Summary: Written for April Fool’s Prank challenge thing. Sasuke and Naruto team up together to pull a prank on Kakashi.

 

Random Comment: *Squeals* I got my KakaSasu doujinshi in the mail today! 68 pages of yummy porn! I shall be scanning that one and my other KakaSasu doujinshi soon, but I have to do it in my friend’s dorm. I, unfortunately, have no scanner of my own.

 

 

 

“Come on, Sasuke.”

 

“No. Absolutely not.”

 

“Don’t be a chicken. Come on!”

 

“No! I will not participate in whatever stupid idea you’ve come up with. I won’t do it!”

 

“Please?”

 

“No.”

 

“Pretty please.”

 

“No.”

 

Naruto wasn’t about to give up on Sasuke. He had the most perfect idea for a prank. It had been running through his head for days now, just begging to be executed. The only problem was… he needed Sasuke.

 

“If you help me, I’ll do your laundry for a month,” Naruto offered, desperate now.

 

“You’ll shrink my clothes.”

 

“I’ll make you dinner for a month.”

 

“You’ll burn my food.”

 

“I’ll clean your apartment for a month.”

 

“I don’t want you in my apartment.”

 

Naruto sighed loudly and scratched the back of his head. Sasuke and he had been at this for fifteen minutes already, and the other boy was still turning him down repeatedly.

 

“Damn it, Sasuke, get that stick out of your ass and help me.”

 

Bad choice of words. Sasuke scowled and narrowed his eyes.

 

“Now there’s definitely no way in Hell I’m doing it.”

 

“But! But! …Don’t you want to finally see what’s under Kakashi-sensei’s mask?”

 

Sasuke glanced at him in interest. Bingo. Naruto grinned triumphantly and approached Sasuke.

 

“We’ve known him for over three years now, and neither of us has yet to see his face. I bet he’s hiding something nasty like a mole …with little hairs on it.”

 

Sasuke made a face. “That’s disgusting.”

 

“I know you’re curious, and if everything goes to plan… I’m sure we’d both get to see it.”

 

Sasuke grew silent, his face a mask of contemplation. Naruto already knew he won.

 

“…Fine. What did you have in mind?”

 

“You promise you won’t back out no matter what?”

 

Sasue sighed loudly. “I promise.”

 

“I’ll tell you while you treat me to a bowl of ramen,” Naruto replied, grinning widely.

 

Sasuke scowled but conceded to buying him some ramen anyway. Not like he didn’t have excess money to waste. He was an Uchiha, after all.

 

Half an hour and two bowls of ramen later…

 

“You want me to do what!?” Sasuke nearly screeched.

 

Naruto actually winced. He didn’t think the boy was capable of being loud. “You heard me.”

 

“I’m not doing that!” Sasuke turned away and petulantly crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“But you promised!” Naruto whined.

 

“That was before I knew you were going to suggest something this embarrassing.”

 

It was time to turn on the legendary Uzumaki charm. Naruto hugged Sasuke’s arm and leaned in close, giving him the biggest, widest, sickliest, cutest eyes possible, the kind that screamed ‘I’m a pathetic uke. Please rape me!’(1). “Please, Sasuke. You’re my bestest best friend in the whole world.”

 

Sasuke gave him an annoyed look and shook him off his arm. “Stop making that stupid face at me, and ‘bestest’ is not a word. Are you sure there isn’t anyone else you can get to do this?”

 

“If I try to teach anyone else, it would take too long. It took me forever to teach Konohamaru. With you, you just have to see it once, and you can copy it perfectly,” Naruto pointed out logically, taking the opportunity to appeal to the boy’s conceit with a veiled compliment.

 

The compliment was completely missed. “Then why don’t you do it yourself?”

 

Naruto shook his head. “I already thought of that. It wouldn’t work. Kakashi knows what it looks like, and he seems immune to it for some reason.”

 

“Damn it, Naruto! I don’t want to copy your perverted technique.”

 

Sasuke was clearly displeased about having to do something so undignified, so utterly beneath his principles. Apparently he’d forgotten he once surrendered his body to a creepy pedophile.

 

“Well, you promised, and you still owe me for trying to kill me.”

 

Naruto brought up a good point. Sasuke made a frustrated noise as his head hit the table with a thud. “Fine,” he muttered, knowing he would never live this down.

 

Naruto let out some exclamation of joy and tossed his arms around Sasuke who tensed up and pushed him away in response. “This makes us completely even,” Sasuke said, giving him a poignant look.

 

“Okay. Pay for my ramen then let’s go!”

 

Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s arm and dragged him away only seconds after he put the money down on the table.

 

They walked further away from the houses and shops and closer to the surrounding forests, looking for a secluded area. When they’d finally found one, Naruto let go of Sasuke’s arm. “Here’s a good place to practice.”

 

The more Sasuke thought about what he was going to do, the more his head swam dizzily and his stomach clenched painfully. How had he let Naruto talk him into this? He blamed the boy’s annoying persistence.

 

‘How utterly manipulative of him,’ Sasuke thought sourly.

 

“Alright. I’m going to do it, but you have to pay close attention. Oh, and this may give you a nosebleed,” Naruto warned, quite amused that he’d be the first to see Sasuke get a nosebleed.

 

The Sharingan appeared in Sasuke’s eyes as he waited patiently.

 

Naruto formed the seals rapidly, not even having to think about it anymore as it was his first and oldest technique. Within seconds, there was a popping sound and clouds of smoke parting to reveal a naked blonde girl with a curvaceous body and pigtails. Thankfully her naughty bits were covered with well-placed clouds; otherwise, Sasuke might have been more nauseous than he already was.

 

“That’s it?” Sasuke asked incredulously, this being the first time he’d ever seen the legendary Sexy no Jutsu.

 

“Yeah. Great, isn’t it?” the feminine voice practically purred.

 

“You are such an idiot,” Sasuke muttered while shaking his head, unable to believe this actually passed as a legitimate ninja technique.

 

“You’re just jealous, and –hey! How come your nose isn’t bleeding??” Naruto pointed an accusing finger at him.

 

Dark eyes knit together in annoyance, and one of Sasuke’s eyebrows twitched. “Because it’s not even attractive.”

 

Naruto couldn’t believe his ears. What was wrong with Sasuke? How could he not find this attractive?? Did he not see the big breasts? Huffing loudly, Naruto quickly changed back to his normal self. “This is further proof that you’re asexual or something.”

 

“Shut up, dumbass.” It was immature, but Sasuke felt it had to be said.

 

Naruto rolled his eyes. He had grown used to Sasuke’s moody defensiveness. “Alright, alright. Now it’s your turn to do it.”

 

“I don’t want to. It’s stupid.” Sasuke was being incredibly stubborn about it, but he had good reason. He had no desire to look like some big-breasted bimbo.

 

“Remember the plan! Come on! You said you would. Twice!... Unless you think you can’t do it. I wouldn’t be surprised. The great Uchiha prodigy is too much of a pussy to have a pussy.”

 

Sasuke’s eyebrow twitched again. Naruto was a little too good at pushing his buttons. “That didn’t even make sense, moron, and I can do it. Just watch.”

 

Sasuke’s face went smooth in concentration, and he stood still, mimicking Naruto’s hand movements with frightening precision. There was another loud popping noise before the area around Sasuke was covered in smoke.

 

The clouds slowly moved apart to reveal a tall, thin pale girl –possibly the prettiest girl Naruto had ever seen. His jaw dropped, and his eyes went comically wide as they slowly roamed up Sasuke’s smooth and nearly endless legs. They kept climbing up, drinking in the delicate dip of Sasuke’s waistline and the flat, toned stomach. As he shifted his gaze just a bit higher, he had to slap a hand to his nose. Sasuke’s breasts weren’t large. In fact, they were rather small, but they were just as alluring and perfect as the rest of his body was. Finally, he stopped at his face and nearly fell over.

 

Sasuke’s face hardly changed. It was still angular with high cheekbones that seemed just a bit more defined. His eyes were still thin and sharp, framed with long, dark eye lashes. His nose was still thin and slightly pointy. His lips were still full and pale. In short, Sasuke looked a lot like himself even as a girl. The major difference was the waterfall of black hair that poured down his back and over his shoulders. It gave him that extra feminine touch.

 

Naruto let out a whistle of appreciation. “Man, Sasuke if you had been born a girl-“

 

“Don’t finish that thought, please,” Sasuke said quickly, staring down at his own body curiously.

 

“Okay, but you really do look nice like that.”

 

Naruto hoped he wasn’t blushing too darkly, but there was a pretty naked girl in front of him, which his mind wasn’t recognizing as Sasuke.

 

At least not until Sasuke shot him a displeased scowl. That broke the spell.

 

“Hey, don’t give me that look! I was giving you a compliment.”

 

“I don’t need you to compliment me,” Sasuke hissed, “I’m not really a girl.”

 

“Could have fooled me,” Naruto muttered, trying to fight off the disturbing fact that he actually found Sasuke attractive like that. It was further disturbing that Sasuke wasn’t too different looking from his male form. Naruto didn’t want to ponder the implications. Last thing he needed was to start seriously questioning his own sexuality.

 

Sasuke’s voice managed to break the trance Naruto had fallen into again. “Stop staring at me, you pervert.”

 

Sasuke undid the technique then re-did it, this time appearing in front of him with clothes- a simple short, sleeveless black cheongsam (2) with gold dragon patterns on it and black sandals.  Hastily, he retracted the Sharingan and glanced over at his friend who was still gaping at him.

 

Naruto was very thankful a good deal of Sasuke’s legs was still exposed as it was, indeed, a very short dress. “Now that that’s taken care of, let’s go find Kakashi-sensei.”

 

He grabbed Sasuke’s wrist and started pulling him along, heading towards Kakashi’s favorite dirty bookshop, figuring that was a good place to start looking. He hadn’t been there, so they tried Kakashi’s favorite bar, which was also devoid of Kakashi. They stopped at the movie theatres, the hot springs</st1:place></st1:city> (found Jiraiya who openly gaped at Sasuke… until he found out it was Sasuke), the dumplings shop, a couple of other dirty book shops, and so on, but they were still unable to locate the Jounin.

 

Luckily, they ran into Iruka at Ichiraku ramen (Naruto decided to get a third bowl of ramen, having gotten hungry from all the searching). 

 

“Hey, Naruto,” Iruka greeted happily, working on his own bowl of ramen. “Whose the pretty girl with you? New girlfriend?”

 

“What?!” Naruto sputtered, turning bright red. “No, it’s not anything like that!”

 

“Moron,” Sasuke muttered under his breath, arms crossed over his chest. He’d grown impatient with their fruitless search.

 

“I was just taking him-er her! Her… to see Kakashi-sensei.” Naruto nodded several times as if trying to verify his statement somehow. “But I haven’t been able to find him for some reason.”

 

“Have you tried checking his apartment?” Iruka suggested.

 

Both Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other in disbelief. It hadn’t occurred to either of them to actually go to his apartment as logical and obvious as it seemed.

 

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Naruto, blaming him for it.“You idi-“

 

“Hey, you didn’t say anything either,” Naruto said defensively.

 

He suddenly grabbed Sasuke’s arm again and began hauling him away towards Kakashi’s apartment. “Thanks, Iruka-sensei!” He called over his shoulder.

 

They both skipped across roofs (Sasuke wasn’t aware he was flashing half of Konoha as he leaped in step with Naruto), hastily making their way to Kakashi’s apartment. When they finally saw it in view, they hopped down to the ground and approached the building warily, fearing Kakashi might be roaming the premises.

 

Suddenly Naruto grabbed a fistful of Sasuke’s hair and ushered him close. “Okay, here’s the plan-“

 

Sasuke whacked him hard for pulling on his hair. “No, here’s my plan. You sit in that tree by his window, and I’ll make some excuse to get inside.”

 

“Kakashi-sensei is not going to let a random girl into his apartment.” Naruto thought that over some more and glanced at Sasuke again. Okay, so Kakashi would probably let Sasuke in, which made him start to wonder if this was a really good idea. He didn’t want his best friend being molested by their over-zealous, perverted teacher. “At least pretend to sell something, so he thinks you’re a door-to-door salesman-er-woman.”

 

“Fine. Whatever.”

 

Sasuke and Naruto hastily looked around for something he could possibly pretend to sell.

 

“Naruto?” a voiced questioned from nearby, making both Naruto and Sasuke whip their heads towards the source.

 

“Hey, Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto called out loudly.

 

Kakashi grinned beneath the mask and waved at them as he approached. “It’s been a while.”

 

“Yeah, it has been.” Naruto gave him a nervous grin in return, trying to quell the bit of shock. He hadn’t expected that Kakashi would find them. They hadn’t even properly planned out what to do next, though Sasuke did have some basic knowledge of the rest of the plan.

 

Kakashi blinked and glanced at the girl who had shyly lowered her head and hid her face behind a curtain of hair once he came into view. “You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend.”

 

“She is not my girlfriend,” Naruto ground out, taking severe offense. As flattered as he was with everyone thinking he could get a girl that pretty, it still didn’t comfort him to know that said pretty girl was Sasuke.

 

“Oh, sorry,” Kakashi apologized, scratching at the back of his head. “I suppose I should introduce myself then. I am Hatake Kakashi. You are?”

 

He saw the girl’s shoulders stiffen slightly before she slowly lifted her head to glance up at him through her dark bangs. “Machida Hitomi (3)” she answered softly.

 

Naruto was rather surprised that Sasuke could pull off the shy, quiet type quite well. Kakashi seemed convinced he was a girl and offered Sasuke a charming smile…which, of course, was blocked by the mask.

 

“Yeah, she’s new to the village. The old hag (Tsunade) asked me to show her around. Apparently she’s some distant cousin of Shizune’s…twice-removed or something.” Naruto shrugged nonchalantly, hoping Kakashi was buying all this.

 

“Oh, I see.” Kakashi looked at the girl suspiciously. From what he knew of Shizune, he didn’t recall her having any cousins, but, then again, she was a distant cousin. It was quite possible that Naruto was telling the truth.

 

“It’s a pain to have her following me around everywhere, though. Kind of annoying,” Naruto saw Sasuke scowl a little out of the corner of his eyes. “…Especially when I want to do things like train.”

 

“I didn’t think you’d be so bothered with having such a pretty girl on your arm all day,” Kakashi pointed out.

 

“I’m not! Believe me, I’m not. I just don’t want her to get in the way while I train.” Then Naruto pretended to get an idea. “Say, you wouldn’t mind watching her for a few hours, would you? Wouldn’t want to leave her alone and have her get molested or anything. Poor girl is so frail and-“

 

“You know I can hear everything you’re saying!” Sasuke snapped. His hands were on his hips, and he was glaring harshly at Naruto.

 

‘Well, there goes the shy, quiet girl act’ Naruto thought to himself.

 

“It’s okay. I wouldn’t mind keeping her entertained for a few hours,” Kakashi piped in, and Sasuke fell silent, remembering the plan.

 

“Great!” Naruto sidled up to Kakashi’s side and leaned in to whisper, “Don’t let the innocent act fool you. She’s a real bitch.”

 

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed, having caught every word of that, but he wisely chose not to comment. He’d get Naruto back for this later, but right now, he had a mission to accomplish. 

 

“Well, I’ll see you guys later!” Naruto waved again to them before turning on his heel, digging his hands into his pockets, and starting to walk away. He had every intention to spy on them, but he had to make it look like he was actually going to do some training.

 

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck and glanced down at the young girl. “So…Are you hungry?”

 

“No. Naruto-kun treated me to ramen earlier.” Sasuke gave Kakashi a sweet look.

 

For some reason, that look unnerved Kakashi. “Why don’t you come upstairs and watch TV, then?” he offered, not sure how else to entertain a young girl. Well, that wasn’t true. He had several ideas in mind on how to entertain her, but they were… of inappropriate nature. Therefore, he refrained. For now.

 

Sasuke nodded and followed after Kakashi as he led him into the building and up the stairs to his apartment.  He reminded himself to act as if he had never been there before, making sure to look around in exploration as well as make a face at the dirty laundry on the floor.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t have time to clean up. I didn’t think I’d have guests today. Why don’t you have a seat?” Kakashi pointed at the sofa, which had a TV guide and a remote resting on it.

 

Sasuke plucked the aforementioned items from the cushion and sat down, crossing his legs since he naturally sat that way.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat or drink? You can at least turn the TV on?” Kakashi suggested, hoping he’d remembered to move the dirty magazine he stuffed under his sofa.

 

Sasuke grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, leaving it on some random channel. He didn’t particularly care about what was on at the moment, only pretending to pay attention as his focus was really on his former teacher. He was still determined to see what was under the mask, even if that meant staying in a female body longer and enduring this disgrace. Naruto will pay later.

 

“I’m going to take a shower. Feel free to help yourself to anything,” Kakashi said over his shoulder as he walked into the shower, already peeling off his vest.

 

The bathroom door had been bumped close by his hip, but it didn’t close all the way, leaving a tiny sliver of white. Sasuke’s eyes followed the small stream of light and stared intently at the door. This was it. This was the perfect opportunity. He had succeeded in getting into his apartment and now, he would succeed in getting a look at the man unmasked.

 

“Now’s your chance,” a voice whispered rather loudly from an open window.

 

Sasuke’s eyebrow twitched again, and he scowled, curling his hands into tight fists. “Be quiet, moron,” he muttered, not even bothering to spare Naruto a glance.

 

He’d been aware the idiot was perched on the tree outside the window for some time since Naruto had never been particularly good at masking his presence. Luckily, Naruto abruptly clenched his mouth shut and decided to leave the rest up to Sasuke. He had faith in his friend. Sasuke would never let him down, and he knew he could trust the boy to do whatever it takes to get the mission done.

 

Relaxing back on the bark of the tree and crossing his arms behind his head, Naruto somewhat patiently waited as he watched Sasuke slowly rise from the couch and move with graceful steps towards the bathroom door.

 

With every step he took, Sasuke felt the wood creaking unbearably loud against his feet. His face scrunched up in a wince, but he kept on approaching the door as quietly and stealthily as he could manage. He froze when he was just inches from the door, unable to see anything but steam and the tiny strip of light where the door was partially open. After squinting his eyes, a blurry flesh outline came into view through all the steam, and Sasuke was very thankful Kakashi had a see-through shower stall.

 

One hand was pressed against the door, ever so slightly nudging it forward until Sasuke could get a better view. His eyes roamed up and down what he could see of the tall, lean muscular body, disappointed he could barely make out any details through all the steam. He briefly contemplated summoning his Sharingan to see better but figured if he ever did get caught, it would be easier to explain he was a perverted girl then Sasuke turned into a girl, trying to peak at his face.

 

Naruto remained silent for once, though was leaning forward slightly, making an attempt to see what was behind the bathroom door. Actually, he couldn’t really see anything at all, so he settled for staring at Sasuke’s behind, which was jutting out slightly as the boy-turned-girl bent over and arched his back uncomfortably while trying to get a look at their former teacher.

 

“What are you doing?” The voice was low and deep, lazily drawled into his ear.

 

Sasuke tensed up immediately and froze, unable to do anything while a damp, warm arm slid around his stomach. The wetness seeped through his clothes as a taller pressed up against his back. Sasuke’s mind whirled in panic, and his heart started racing frantically.

 

His mouth failed to work, and his jaw flopped uselessly, lacking any good explanation at the moment. Of course, he could always just tell Kakashi he’s a normal, curious teenage girl who wanted to see an older, attractive man naked, which didn’t dwell well with him at the moment. Kakashi was naked, wet, and speaking into his ear in a way that made his stomach quiver uneasily. Last thing he wanted was to admit an attraction that he swore to himself didn’t exist lest the man take it as an invitation to further molest him. 

 

Belatedly, Sasuke was quite upset to note that Kakashi still had his mask on though he had no other clothes on. Even the forehead protector was abandoned somewhere. Didn’t he ever take the stupid thing off?!

 

“Well?” Kakashi breathed out against his neck (yes, his breath could permeate through the material of his mask), causing goose bumps to rise up all over Sasuke’s body.

 

Was his teacher really doing this? He was a fifteen year-old girl… -sort of. Did the man have no shame??

 

“I-I…” Sasuke scowled at the uselessness in his own voice. “I…was curious?”

 

“Curious?” Kakashi repeated, one eyebrow raised.

 

“Yes.” Sasuke felt this was the easiest way out. He didn’t believe the man he respected more than anyone else -not that he’d ever admit it- would actually engage in non-consensual activity with an under-aged girl.

 

Kakashi tilted his head to the side, openly studying the side of the girl’s face. She was definitely very pretty even if she was young, and as his hands roamed down her sides, he also noted she had a very good body.

 

“Did you want to see my face?” he asked, well aware of its mystery and intrigue.

 

Sasuke almost missed the question. His body was stiff in shock, and his eyes were wide as he stared forward into the still partially shut door. There was sweat on his hands, and he barely noticed he was breathing a little harder than usual. It’s not that he was frightened his mind reasoned. Kakashi was no cause for worry, and if the man did dare to try something, Sasuke could easily break out of it.  

 

What scared him was the sudden lack of control over himself. His own body reacted too strongly to the heat that was seeping though the thin silk of his dress. His stomach clenched into hard knots, and the tingle that shot through him had him digging his fingernails into his own palms. Was he really this starved for human contact that a few brief seconds of it had his mind reeling from the sheer intensity of it?

 

“Yes,” Sasuke heard himself whisper.

 

He couldn’t stop the wave of dizziness as he was whirled around and pressed back against the wall with Kakashi leaning over him. Both of Kakashi’s eyes were exposed and crinkled as the man smiled down at him.

 

“It doesn’t hurt to be curious once in a while, and all you had to do was ask.”

 

The smile had disarmed him completely, and Sasuke found himself absently nodding. His spine ached in a vague attempt to shrink away from his former teacher’s closeness. There was something overwhelming about being this physically close to Kakashi, being able to see every line and scar on his body, though his eyes didn’t dare to drift lower than his neck.

 

Kakashi cupped the side of  Sasuke’s face, one thumb gently stroking along his cheekbone as he stared down into black eyes he’d seen in a dream the night before . His mouth was curled in a smirk beneath the mask as he moved closer.

 

“Close your eyes,” Kakashi instructed softly as if he were talking to a child.

 

Rather obediently, Sasuke closed his eyes and would later think this was the third stupidest thing he’d ever done. (The first being trying to kill Naruto. The second being handing his body over to Orochimaru.) The moment he did, soft, dry lips were against his, and for a second, he couldn’t –refused to- believe they were Kakashi’s.

 

Naruto choked on his breath and pointed feebly, unable to believe Kakashi was kissing Sasuke… not that Kakashi knew it was Sasuke. Even worse! He hadn’t gotten a look at Kakashi’s face before he kissed Sasuke, so he still didn’t know what his face looked like.

 

For some reason, it hadn’t immediately occurred to Sasuke to push Kakashi away or really do anything else but go completely still, his eyes snapping open impossibly wide and his fingernails nearly breaking the skin on his palms. He felt Kakashi’s lips gently move against his own, felt the warm breath lightly graze his mouth. The whisper of warm tongue against his lower lip had him clenching his thighs together as the most unusual sensation tickled him between his legs.

 

“Is this,” Kakashi mumbled against his mouth as his hand slid down his side and pushed the dress up just a little, fingers brushing feather-like over his upper thighs, “what you wanted, Sasuke-kun?”

 

Sasuke actually shuddered before he blanched and jerked away from the kiss. “Kakashi!” he sputtered in indignation, dispelling the illusion immediately and returning to his male body in a puff of smoke.

 

“Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto screeched mere seconds later as he bravely burst in through the open window, ready to defend Sasuke’s virtue from the pervert-Jounin.

 

The warmth left Sasuke all at once when Kakashi pulled away abruptly, the mask firmly back in place. Kakashi was grinning again as he scratched the back of his head, looking a little sheepish.

 

“Naruto… I didn’t know you were there.”

 

Kakashi was lying through his teeth, and Sasuke knew it. Kakashi had to have known Naruto was there the entire time, which made him wonder how long Kakashi had known it was him.  

 

“How could you do that to Sasuke!?” Naruto was glaring accusingly at him.

 

Kakashi raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest, only vaguely aware that he was still naked. Not that he cared about covering up at the moment. He had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

 

“You should know better than to try to trick me,” he chastised. “I thought you had grown out of this.”

 

Naruto bowed his head a little guiltily. In truth, he did feel bad for doing something so mischievous and underhanded to his former teacher.

 

“-and Sasuke,” Kakashi continued, facing the dark-haired boy, “there are better ways to get what you want, and they don’t involve changing your gender.”

 

Sasuke’s eyes snapped up to meet Kakashi’s, and he remembered too well the feel of soft lips against his own and the warm body that covered his own like a protective blanket. The offer in Kakashi’s eyes was too blatant to misread, and Sasuke had to glance away, had to make sure Naruto didn’t notice… because his own heart was still pounding madly, and the word ‘yes’ was dancing on the tip of his tongue.

 

“Well, now that that’s settled,” Kakashi said, breaking the silence. “You two can make it up to me by doing my laundry.” The finality in his voice left no room for argument.

 

“What!?” Naruto began to protest anyway.

 

Kakashi pointed to the pile of clothes that was spilling out of the small hamper.

 

“Go on.”

 

Sasuke sighed loudly and grabbed Naruto, hauling him in the direction of the hamper. “Come on, moron. I’ll do the whites. You can do the colors.”

 

Naruto grinned, another plan forming in his mind. He just needed one red sock and a good distraction for Sasuke. This was going to be good.

 

Kakashi watched them and shook his head, well aware of what Naruto was thinking. He watched as Naruto began carrying the basket out of his apartment with Sasuke in toll. Swiftly, he reached out and grabbed Sasuke’s arm before tugging him back against his chest.

 

“…and if any of my clothes get ruined,” he whispered against Sasuke’s ear, one hand snaking to the boy’s front and lightly stroking his stomach muscles through the shirt, “…just make sure they don’t get ruined.”

 

Sasuke wrenched himself away abruptly and gave him a curt nod, unwilling to further embarrass himself by acknowledging that he was actually affected by that. He walked in a steady line out the door, slamming it shut for good measure before smirking to himself.

 

Oh, yes, both Kakashi and Naruto will pay…he was an avenger, after all.

 

Fin.

 

-----------------

 

And there you have it. Another badly done fic. *Grumbles sourly* …sadly my favorite parts to write were Sasuke bickering with Naruto. This was supposed to be ten times smuttier …I’m so sorry!! Kollege ate my buh-rain.

 

(1) I hate uber-uke!Naruto. Naruto is such a seme in my head -_-; 

 

(2) Cheongsam: silk Chinese-style dresses.

 

(3) Ripped straight out of my Japanese text book >_>