Sue (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} wingedkami) wrote in ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small} roleplayers,@ 2006-12-22 00:34:00 |
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Advice needed on dealing with sexism
Having finally tracked down some tabletop RPers in my area, I got an invite to play in a new D&D 3.5 game that was about to start. The group consists of seven men, and me. I've been to two sessions so far and I'm really enjoying it apart from one thing.
Sexism.
It's not nasty or intentional sexism. I'm not dealing with Neanderthals here; they're all capable of dressing tidily and maintaining good standards of hygiene and some of them have girlfriends. Out of character they're great people, helping me out with the rules (I'm fairly new to D&D) without ever being patronising.
But I'm only the second female gamer they've ever met, and possibly the first most of them have ever played with, while I'm used to a group that's generally about 50% female. It's all a bit new. Most of it is just joking which doesn't really bother me - I'm well aware that female D&D players are something of a rare breed - but it all adds up. Especially the in-game events.
To begin with there's the setting. It's inspired by the Roman Empire although with some significant differences. And as far as I can tell so far, with the exception of my character Calia, every single woman in the place is a wimp.
In the first session the sister of one of the other characters was captured by slavers. We rescued her from being raped (although not all the other captured women) and took her along with us. It wasn't until halfway through the second session that I found out what her name was - or that she even had a name. And while Calia is treated pretty much the same as the rest of the party, the sister was effectively ignored except when she was crying, at which point she was treated as an irritation. Only one other character bothered to talk to her.
Calia has no ranks in diplomacy and a negative charisma bonus. She's blunt, bad-tempered and malodorous. She should not be the only one capable of comforting a frightened girl.
Women are a non-entity in this game. Calia's only an exception because she's got a player sitting behind her, and she's on the point of finding herself a stick and using it to hit any character who makes sexist comments.
I know there's plenty of people who've gone through this with much worse horror stories to tell, so does anyone have any advice to offer? Apart from this, I really like the game and the group. There's always the possibility things will just sort themselves out once they get used to having a woman around.
On the plus side, we're about to head into the Underdark. The day you can't find strong powerful women in the Underdark...
Having finally tracked down some tabletop RPers in my area, I got an invite to play in a new D&D 3.5 game that was about to start. The group consists of seven men, and me. I've been to two sessions so far and I'm really enjoying it apart from one thing.
Sexism.
It's not nasty or intentional sexism. I'm not dealing with Neanderthals here; they're all capable of dressing tidily and maintaining good standards of hygiene and some of them have girlfriends. Out of character they're great people, helping me out with the rules (I'm fairly new to D&D) without ever being patronising.
But I'm only the second female gamer they've ever met, and possibly the first most of them have ever played with, while I'm used to a group that's generally about 50% female. It's all a bit new. Most of it is just joking which doesn't really bother me - I'm well aware that female D&D players are something of a rare breed - but it all adds up. Especially the in-game events.
To begin with there's the setting. It's inspired by the Roman Empire although with some significant differences. And as far as I can tell so far, with the exception of my character Calia, every single woman in the place is a wimp.
In the first session the sister of one of the other characters was captured by slavers. We rescued her from being raped (although not all the other captured women) and took her along with us. It wasn't until halfway through the second session that I found out what her name was - or that she even had a name. And while Calia is treated pretty much the same as the rest of the party, the sister was effectively ignored except when she was crying, at which point she was treated as an irritation. Only one other character bothered to talk to her.
Calia has no ranks in diplomacy and a negative charisma bonus. She's blunt, bad-tempered and malodorous. She should not be the only one capable of comforting a frightened girl.
Women are a non-entity in this game. Calia's only an exception because she's got a player sitting behind her, and she's on the point of finding herself a stick and using it to hit any character who makes sexist comments.
I know there's plenty of people who've gone through this with much worse horror stories to tell, so does anyone have any advice to offer? Apart from this, I really like the game and the group. There's always the possibility things will just sort themselves out once they get used to having a woman around.
On the plus side, we're about to head into the Underdark. The day you can't find strong powerful women in the Underdark...
