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lgbtfest csi50. Prompt was writer’s choice. Lindsay starts to pull away.csi50. Prompt was share. Ice cream cuteness.au100. Prompts were months, last, death, too much, and friends. In this au, Lindsay comes to New York to go to school and become a CSI. While studying at NYU she meets Louie Messer and her life changes forever.au100. Prompt was sight. In this au, Lindsay is a psychic who encounters Danny on a case.10_hurt_comfort. Prompt was jealousy. Adam’s new pants make Jess a little crazy.
a) require buttloads of research
b) would really only work as RPS, which I REFUSE TO WRITE, and
c) involve things I can't really do, like being funny or writing plausible buttsex.
Picked this up over at the Find a Death forum where Steven Worek, aka TheLazenby, posted it. It's also known as 'The SNL Curse'
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HEAVEN MUST BE FUNNY AS HELL
by Steven Worek
The door to the club opened, and a man went walking in
He had a ballcap on his head and the devil's kind of grin
The place was new and empty, he left an echo with every step
He sat down and said to himself, "I thought I'd be the last one left..."
A man came 'round the corner and stood stiff behind the bar
He said, "I'll get you a vintage, buddy, if you tell me who you are."
The man said, "My name's Belushi" as he took in that new bar smell
The barkeep said, "I've heard of you, and I think you're funny as hell."
Outside the bar walked a sick thin man with no hair upon his head
He cursed himself for letting folks believe that he was dead
He opened the door and looked around at the nearly empty place
Belushi said, "Get over here, man, I think I remember your face."
The sick man said, "Of course you do, I was there from the very start.
But the people called me strange because of my unique brand of art."
The barkeep poured a drink and the pale man drank it square
Then suddenly, Andy looked full of life and grew back all his hair.
The two men joked and emptied down a hundred beers or more
When there they saw a small young woman enter through the door
Belushi rubbed his eyes and told himself, "It couldn't be.
The last I saw you were bright and laughing and full of energy."
The barkeep said, "I know you, ma'am. Why ever did God choose
The kindest person there ever was who we thought we'd never lose?"
The girl stayed silent as she reached for the frosted mug of swill
When Belushi said, "Don't worry, Gilda, they're gonna love you still."
The door opened wide again, and another girl walked in
She seemed so lost and nervous, yet she kept a friendly grin.
They tried to place her face as she moved closer to the bar
The barkeep said, "Now who is that? It's no familiar star."
She took a stool in silence as the barkeep poured a drink
He said, "Now honey, I know your face, just let me stop and think."
The girl said, "My name's Danitra Vance, I only put in a year."
But Kaufman said, "It doesn't matter, you're still welcome in here."
They heard a slam and a bearded man came walking across the room
He had a scowl upon his face and a dreary sense of gloom.
But the old timers just stared at him without a drop of fear
Belushi said, "O'Donoghue, how'd they let you in here?"
Still Mr. Mike kept leering with eyes sharp as a mace
When sure enough a devious grin appeared across his face
He told John with a laugh, "You know, this is too nice of a hall.
I better fix it up and spray-paint 'DANGER' on the wall!"
The floor began to rumble when in came a massive form
He looked like he could uproot a tree, but his eyes looked kind and warm.
Belushi said, "You made the mistake that I made - you lived too hard and fast."
But the boy just said, "Mr. Belushi, it's so great to meet you at last."
Belushi raised his eyebrow and he said, "Listen here, Chris,
You learned too late those drugs would rule you with an iron fist.
But then I made the same mistakes, so there's no room to scold.
Up here you're free from sobriety, so have one nice and cold."
A voice called, "Chris! Didn't you learn a thing from when you where down there?"
They turned around and over walked a man with graying hair.
The barkeep said, "Phil, old buddy - how'd you end up on our list?"
Then Phil turned 'round his hand and dropped a bullet from his fist.
Chris said, "I swear, I'll beat the hell out of whoever did it, man."
Phil took a stool right next to him and held on to his hand.
He said, "You know I'm not the kind to put folks down, to hate and scowl,"
And then he smiled, "But I'm pretty sure she's the Devil's business now!"
The folks all sat upon the stools and toasted each other's glories
They had plenty new jokes to tell, as well as hoardes of stories
Belushi said to Gilda, "Put a smile above that chin."
She looked up at him with widened eyes and then began to grin.
She said, "I didn't expect to see us all up here so soon,"
"But while I'm here, I want to see Andy lip-sync a tune!"
He mimed and joked, but the barkeep said, "Well folks, I'd like to stay,"
"But we've got a new arrival, and I think trouble's on its way!"
Outside the bar a tall, lean man kept pacing on the walk
He dared not show his face in there, because he'd heard the talk
The folks called him an outlaw for his attitude and grit
They shunned him when he tried to tickle people with his wit.
But he stood ground and pushed his way right through the big glass door
And everyone fell silent as he moved onto the floor.
A smile rose on his face, he looked as proud as he could be
And he said, "My name is Charlie Rocket, and the next round is on me."
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